HealthyStrokes.com
... a site about masturbation and you!

Issues about masturbatory privacy: Getting "caught"

Nearly everyone agrees that masturbating should only be done in private, and do so. Nearly everyone would be mortified to be accidentally discovered masturbating, or to accidentally discover someone masturbating. This is an issue everyone worries about. People often delay or postpone masturbation when they feel they lack privacy, and people often stop masturbating while painfully close to orgasm when they hear a sound that threatens their privacy.

Concerns that someone will discover them masturbating are justified; more than half of those surveyed have said someone has accidentally discovered them masturbating at least once. Even people who have little guilt about masturbating in general feel ashamed to be discovered in the act; most refer to it as being "caught," as though they were doing something immoral or illegal.

Yet, there seems to be no consequence of being discovered. Few of the people who walk in on a masturbation session say anything about it, generally being too embarrassed themselves to say anything. Most of the people who discover someone masturbating are older and experienced with the practice themselves.

Being discovered by a spouse is different from being discovered by someone else, because the spouse is usually more concerned about the impact of a partner's masturbation on the couple's sexual life than about the act itself. This article, therefore, is concerned with being discovered by persons other than spouse or exclusive sexual partner.

Males are more likely than females to be discovered, if only due to the increased frequency at which males masturbate.

Another page on this site deals with privacy for masturbating in dorms and other shared living situations.


This segment of a sex education film from the 1970s deals with being caught masturbating:

Ricky had a lock on his door. Why didn't he use it?


Here are some actual questions from readers of this site and the author's replies.

Your site is educational. I just started masturbating about 2 months ago. I think my mom might think it's unhealthy and I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught one of these days. How should I go about telling her it is normal? (age 13)

You might be surprised to learn she thinks it's normal. That's what most mothers think. She probably does it too. In the first two years of answering these questions, I was never been asked about getting caught, so I wonder if that doesn't happen as much as it used to.

Thanks for the great site! It's helped me a lot! Once my mom almost caught me ejaculating. What's the best possible reaction if my mother or other family member catches me masturbating? (age 12)

It's probably best not to say anything about it. They will be as embarrassed as you.

I really worry that my mom will walk in on me masturbating. I've never been caught, but I often worry about it so much that I can't focus on masturbating. What should I do? (age 16)

Your mom is apt to understand, although I'm sure you would both be quite embarrassed. Is putting a lock on your bedroom door out of the question? (It helps if you have a bratty younger sibling to help justify such a modification.) You might also put something solid in front of the door so it would make a lot of noise if someone were to open it. The easiest thing would be to let anyone who barges in know that you would appreciate them knocking first.

My brother (who is 20) walked in on me masturbating yesterday and offered to buy me some magazines and an artifical vagina. Is this OK?What should I do? (age 15)

I think you should accept the offer of magazines and decline the vagina, telling him that idiosyncratic forms of masturbation can lead to sexual troubles later. And be thankful you have such a cool brother.

During freshman year, my roommate and I each walked in on the other masturbating at least once. We were both cool about it, and left each other to finish in privacy. Many other times, I heard him masturbating when he thought I was asleep. Usually, I'd wait until he was finished and went to sleep before I starting masturbating. If I had a particularly urgent need to make myself come, I just did it, and he never got uptight about it, and I'm not even sure he was aware of what I was doing. (age 23)

Obviously, it would have put no strain on your relationship if you had recognized aloud what you were doing.

My brother and dad walked in on me when I was masturbating on the couch. I'm so embarrassed that I have trouble looking at their faces. (age 14)

They didn't say anything about it, and you don't have to either. Your dad masturbates too, and if your brother is older, so does he. They have probably been discovered at some time themselves. Don't worry about it. But you might make a point of masturbating only in private.

I am paranoid about my mom finding me masturbate. Is it normal to masturbate in the shower. I tried it before but it didn't work too well. I find it hard to masturbate standing, so I lie down in the shower. Is all of this normal? (age 13)

Yes, it's normal. Most people worry about being discovered masturbating, and most eventually get discovered at least once. Oops! Most guys masturbate in the shower sometimes. If you lie down, at least make it on your back.

Hi! Your site is awesome! I was masturbating 2 days ago and my sister discovered me. She doesn't act like she saw it. What should I do? (age 13)

Maybe you don't need to act like she saw it either. Is it possible she doesn't know what she saw? Either way, I don't think there's any reason to do anything, except maybe work at having more privacy.

I masturbate regularly, and my brother walked in on me while I was practicing. He won't even look at me now, but I know that he does it too, even though I've never caught him. I am really nervous how this will affect our relationship. He never saw me this way, thinking that I am a very reserved person. I am scared about what he thinks of me now. (female)

Are you sure he knows what you were doing? How do you know he does it too? If he knows what you were doing, he will probably be OK with it once he gets over the shock of seeing it. Don't worry about it affecting your relationship. Just act like you usually do around him.

Hi! Your site is awesome! I was masturbating 2 days ago and my sister discovered me. She doesn't act like she saw it. What should I do? (age 13)

Maybe you don't need to act like she saw it either. Is it possible she doesn't know what she saw? Either way, I don't think there's any reason to do anything, except maybe work at having more privacy.

Thanks for the great site! It's helped me a lot! Once my mom almost caught me ejaculating. What's the best possible reaction if my mother or other family member catches me masturbating? (age 12)

It's probably best not to say anything about it. They will be as embarrassed as you.

My brother (who is 20) walked in on me masturbating yesterday and offered to buy me some magazines and an artifical vagina. Is this OK?What should I do? (age 15)

I think you should accept the offer of magazines and decline the vagina, telling him that idiosyncratic forms of masturbation can lead to sexual troubles later. And be thankful you have such a cool brother.

I really worry that my mom will walk in on me masturbating. I've never been caught, but I often worry about it so much that I can't focus on masturbating. What should I do? (age 16)

Your mom is apt to understand, although I'm sure you would both be quite embarrassed. Is putting a lock on your bedroom door out of the question? (It helps if you have a bratty younger sibling to help justify such a modification.) You might also put something solid in front of the door so it would make a lot of noise if someone were to open it. The easiest thing would be to let anyone who barges in know that you would appreciate them knocking first.

About a week ago I was masturbating and locked my door. Afterward I went to bed and forgot to unlock it. When my mom came to wake me in the morning she found it locked and suspected something bad and told me not to lock it because it's a fire hazard. Then today she walked in on me masturbating. I feel really embarrassed. What should I do? (age 15)

I think you should keep locking it during waking hours. Your mom now understands why. You can respect her request by unlocking it before you go to sleep. You shouldn't lock it only while you're masturbating because that makes it obvious why you're locking it. Decide you want some privacy while you do other things too.

My dad caught me masturbating once when I was a teen, and he told me, "go for it, all guys do it." He said he did it too. It was awesome to have his approval.


I was about 11 years old and all soaped up in the shower. My mom barged in with an urgent need to use the toilet just in time to see me ejaculate onto the glass shower door. The glass was somewhat steamed up but it was obvoius she saw it. She told me to be sure to clean up the shower when I was done. She came back in with more towels while I was still erect. Apparently it bothered me a lot more than it did her. She eventually told me she knew I was masturbating regularly because she had found ejaculate in my briefs when she was doing laundry. It was no big deal. (age 58)

Like I've said many times, I think mothers are less uptight about masturbation than their teenage sons and daughters assume they are. Always remember, if you leave semen lying around, people will have an easy time smelling it.

I was visiting my best friend in his house and I walked into his room without knocking (STUPID!!!) and discovered him masturbating. I left him alone and later tried to talk to him. I told him it was okay and that everyone did it. But he still acts mortified every time we meet and apologizes constantly. How can I convince him he did nothing wrong. I hate to see him so tortured over this. (age 17)

I think you've already done it. The problem he is facing is inside his head. He might have wanted people to think he doesn't masturbate, and he could have rationalized that that was so until someone saw him doing it. It might be best if you said nothing more about it and just talked about things you would normally talk about. Eventually he will accept masturbation as something normal and stop worrying about the incident. You likely helped him gain a greater sense of the need for privacy. It would have been worse if a female or member of his family had discovered him.

Today my dad caught me masturbating in my tub. He said nothing. I was mortified. I don't know if he cares or if he's ashamed of me. I know it's natural to masturbate, but I don't know if my parents know. What do I do? (age 14)

You don't need to do anything. By saying nothing, your dad is indicating that he knows it's natural.

After reading some of the stories and questions from your teenage readers about getting caught masturbating, I just wanted to say I think they shouldn't feel freaked out or embarrassed by it, because masturbating is a healthy behavior if not done obssessively. I, too, was caught masturbating by my father when I was in high school (I was about 16 years old). I was in my bedroom with the door closed and I thought I was alone in the house. I was really horny and decided to masturbate and, unfortunately, I forgot to lock my door. I was lying on my bed when my dad entered my room and saw me masturbating. We were both surprised, and he apologized and quickly left so I could finish. Luckily, he later talked to me about it in a calm and reassuring manner and did not make me feel embarrassed at all, but rather he helped me learn to appreciate that almost all males masturbate. I think the teens on this site are getting a lot of good information and should not be embarrassed or feel guilty about practicing something that is healthy and part of human nature. Thanks to my own experience, I know I'll be able to handle this subject with my own kids one day. Thanks for a great site. (age 25)

Thank you too!

My dad caught me masturbating about half an hour ago. I heard him come in and I turned (I was right at ejaculation) and saw him. He just said "Oh" and walked away. I was so mortified. I ran outside but it was raining and I was in pajamas, so i just sat under the overhang crying slightly. Then I came back inside and locked myself in the bathroom for about 15 minutes. I came out and went in my room. My dad came in and said it was natural. He said every guy does it eventually and he also told me not to worry about it. He said he would completely ignore it and that he wouldn't tell my mother. That last bit was the best part. Anyway, I'm still really shaken, and I know I'll be avoiding my dad today even though I should just continue on with life. (age 14)

I think your dad handled it well.

One day when my girlfriend was staying over at my house, she walked in on me masturbating. She came home from work early one day and caught me by surprise in my room. When she came in she said, "Can I join in?" So we started kissing and making out on my bed. Eventually this led to us having sex for about an hour. (age 18)

I'm glad your story had a happy ending. Some people arrange to get caught so something like this can happen.

I was caught many years ago (age 13) and still remember it. My brother walked in on me in the bathroom we shared. I felt really ashamed and embarrassed. Later he said to me, just out of the blue, "Hey, about that thing. It's really no big deal." And that was it. I felt a lot better. Decades later, I'm happily married, normal, and I still masturbate. I can't imagine a guy who doesn't. Most women do it too. I'm just posting this because I see that a lot of the younger posters here are just as worried as so many of us were at that age. (age 40)


I remember getting discovered masturbating twice in my early teen years. The first time my mom walked in on me. She just said "oops" and walked back out. When I went out to eat for dinner, she told me make to you wash my hands before eating, then she told me it was OK as long as it was in private and that I shouldn't be embarrassed about doing it. The second time was about a month later when my aunt visited us. She walked in to bring me freshly baked brownies right when I ejaculated. She just said sorry and left. My mom was cool though. She was single and played both parents. (age 23)

Those must have been pretty embarrassing incidents. They ought to convince my readers that their getting discovered wasn't quite as bad.

When I was 14, my younger brother walked in on me while I masturbated. He looked at me and then ran out, quickly running to tell mum that I was naked and touching myself. I heard her coming up to my room and quickly put my night dress on. She was so cool and also had my dad put a lock on my door to give me privacy. (age 16)

I'm glad your story had a happy ending, but you point out that a lock on the door is useful not only to protect the person who is masturbating but also to protect whoever might barge in.

I was masturbating and my mom came in and said that it's normal and she still does it all the time. Do a lot of moms masturbate? (age 15)

Oh, yes. Probably about 80 percent of them.

My mom walked in on me masturbating and she went and told my dad and he laughed really loud. What kind of sign is that? (age 14)

Probably a good one. Your mom probably didn't want to deal with it herself so she asked your dad and he decided not to say anything about it.

I don't have a story to tell because I've never been caught. How hard is it to lock the bathroom door or to do it only when no one else is home? You could even do it late at night, when everyone is asleep, or when you would be able to hear the other people in the house moving around. I don't understand how you people get caught. It isn't difficult to remain secretive. (age 15)

I think you're wrong, and that's why about 60 percent of males have been discovered at some point. When it is something you get to be in the habit of practicing daily, you will not want to do it only late at night or when no one else is home. And the more you do it, the greater the chances someone will accidentally walk in. A lot of guys who have written stories here were not being discreet, but many were and were discovered anyway.

I was sleeping over at my friends house last summer when we were both out of the 6th grade. I thought he was asleep so I started to masturbate. All of a sudden my friend got out of bed suddenly and said "sorry, I have to take a leak." I was so embarrassed. I just froze. When he came back from the bathroom, he went to his bed and started masturbating too. I thought it was a lot of fun to do it in the same room as him, except we have never been the same since. He has never had me over to his house again, and it's just not the same at school. (age 13)

I have said many times that it is very dangerous to masturbate anyplace other than the privacy of your own home. There can be ramifications when you do it any other place, and you apparently violated your friend's private space. Live and learn. Perhaps at the end of this summer, you could try to be better friends again.

I was once caught masturbating in a youth hostel, sort of. I was still practicing TMS then, and another hosteler noticed that I was masturbating, but he couldn't figure out that's what it was. He came up to me in the men's room and asked why I was doing this and then contracted his legs the way I had been doing while masturbating prone back in the bunk room. I didn't answer him and just went back to bed. I wonder if there were other people who saw this and figured out what it was. I have since quit TMS, by the way, thanks to your site. (age 23)

That's an interesting point. I think a lot of people would mistake TMS for something else, especially if they could only see the legs and not the movement of the private parts. It is, of course, a bad idea to be masturbating in a bunk room filled with strangers.

About a week ago I was on the computer looking at porn and masturbating when my mom walked in. She said if I'm going to masturbate that I've got to do it in private but it's hard because I need to look at porn. What should I do? (age 14)

Your mom is justified in setting rules for the common areas of your house. You also illustrate why I advise males of all age to be able to masturbate without pictures and to prove this by doing it once every two weeks using only fantasy. I think porn is especially bad at your age because you should be exercising your ability to fantasize.

My grandpa spotted me masturbating a few years ago, and though it's been such a long time, I still feel very guilty about it. He looked horrified when he saw me, but before he went to bed, he gave me a hug and said, "About that thing you did today, don't think about it, it's OK." It helped me at the time, but now he always seems very uncomfortable whenever he's around me. I try to think that he's forgiven me because of what he said, but his actions around me (never looking me in the eyes, jumpy if he sees me in a room by myself, etc.) make me think otherwise. It also affects me when I'm masturbating because I remember his face when he discovered me rubbing my clitoris. Sometimes I think I should bring it up and talk to him about it, but I don't know. Is there any way I can help myself and my grandpa deal with this? I love him a lot, and it hurts to see him so uneasy around me now.

You are assuming he still remembers the incident, and that is why he seems uncomfortable, but how do you know he really is? Masturbating doesn't need forgiving. I think it might help to bring it up to him. He might be more worried about discovering you again than knowing that you masturbate. It might help if you told him you have been careful about only masturbating in private since the incident.

About a month ago, my brother came in my room and he saw me masturbating and he said "I'm sorry, man." Later that night I felt a lump under my pillow and it was a stack of Playboy magazines. He was really cool about it. (age 14)

That's a pretty cool brother.

I'm a single dad who doesn't have the oppotunity to date much, so, masturbation is still a big part of my life. One morning last week, my son walked in on me. I was in the privacy of my own bedroom but, I hadn't locked the door. He saw what I was doing and promptly closed the door. At breakfast, I apologized, not for the act itself but, for not being more careful. He promised to knock on my bedroom door from now on before he enters and asked me to do the same in return. (age 45)

Just a reminder that a lock on the door not only protects the person who's masturbating, but also the person who might walk in.

My sister walked in on me one time when I was about 17. It was the absolute worst time to hear the door open because I had just reached climax. I was laying on my back and watching a movie when I started to ejaculate on my stomach. I heard the door and looked over to see her looking at me. All I could do was close my eyes. Later she said, "Don't be embarrassed. I do it too." (age 36)

Your story takes place at the point of ejaculatory inevitability. At that point, you will ejaculate no matter what happens.

In the last summer holidays in the warmth of the beach I worked under my towel to have a necessary release. It was wonderful and I was out of the world a s usual. I applied the stop and go method. After about 15 minutes in a pause of highest arousal I noticed a gentlemen, who stared at me. I recognized him as another guest, a father of three about 45, whose spouse was about 35. He had similar hopping movements with his hand under a blanket. Wow, I was embarrassed. I stopped and left in a hurry. In my hotel I realized that I had experienced a kind of sexual adventure and finished my clitoral desires. I was happy that it was the last day of my vacancies.


After basketball practice, I was the last guy in the locker room and the last guy in the shower. No one else was around or so I thought. I was in the shower masturbating when my coach walked in on me. He didn't say a word. There I stood, with my erection in hand and frozen like a deer in the headlights! He giggled and left. From then on, I only do it behind closed doors! (age 17)

You should have realized someone from the school was still around. If it had been someone less cool, you could have been in big trouble.

My two older brothers used to joke about masturbating to each other and sometimes me. I knew what they were referring to, but I still didn't know how to masturbate. The other kids in school would tease each other in similar ways and I always just pretended that I knew what they were talking about. I used to have wet dreams frequently, but I still didn't know what was happening. It wasn't until I was 17 and a few months from graduating high school that I was fed up with not knowing how to masturbate and decided that I was not going to stop until something happened. I got more than I expected. Because I'd never really known how, I didn't know what was going to happen either. My semen got all over my face, hair, headboard and the wall behind my headboard. My brothers were sleeping, but I wanted to jump out of bed and scream YESSS, because I finally realized what all the fuss was about. Afterward I began to have little marathons of masturbating, always trying to increase the number of times I could achieve an orgasm in one day. I stopped counting after I hit my goal of 21 orgasms in one day. I remember once when I was about 17 I was lying on the bathroom floor masturbating with my feet propped up on the bathtub when one of my older brothers barged in and caught me. This particular brother had been caught masturbating on numerous occassions, but I was still embarrassed because he used to tease me about having a small penis. Later I learned that he told our other siblings that he caught me masturbating, but that I had a really big penis. So sometimes being caught isn't as bad as it really looks. (age 32)


I was a counselor at a Christian camp a few summers back and there didn't seem to be any private time where I could masturbate. One day when everyone was seeing a movie, I decided to go into the back of the theater and masturbate. Unfortunately, one of my fellow counselors had the same idea and I didn't even notice until it was too late. We both ended up finding each other out and the rest of the time at camp just wasn't the same. Thanks for this site, by the way. It really makes out that masturbation is normal and common, which is something that a lot of strict Christian families don't really let you know from the start. (age 19)

That other counselor was not in a position to spill the beans about you. You could have just winked.

I would like to know why this situation makes me want to masturbate and if it is normal. I was at my doctor for an annual check-up and was asked to give a urine sample. The nurse provided me a specimen container and a gown. I put on the gown and went into the bathroom and produced the urine specimen. After placing it in the box, I noticed my penis was starting to get hard. I knew I had time because the doctor always makes you wait a long time in the exam room. I decided to masturbate. I was going to just do it quickly and ejaculate into the toilet. I didn't notice a second door leading into another exam room. While I was masturbating, the other door opened and a woman walked in and saw me. She just said oh, I'm sorry, and walked out. I was scared but quickly finished masturbating and went back into my exam room. I waited another 15 minutes or so for the doctor to arrive. My doctor is a woman and I have been seeing her for most of my adult life. Near the end of the exam, she said she knew I was masturbating in the bathroom and asked why I did that. I was shocked but said I felt the need after providing the urine sample and thought I was in private. She said not to do it in her office in the future unless asked to do so. Since then I masturbate all the time thinking about that day. It gets me hard just thinking about the woman who caught me masturbating and the doctor looking at my penis. Is this normal? (age 24)

All except the part about you masturbating in the doctor's bathroom. I can't say this enough: You take a huge risk masturbating anyplace other than your private space. You probably completely upset that woman who caught you and the doctor had to deal with it. I'll bet the doctor told her that men masturbate in that room when they're having a semen analysis, which is true. The doctor was actually pretty cool about it. Many people have doctor fetishes and the physical things that accompanied this exam -- having to wear the gown, producing the urine specimen, being caught masturbating, the penis exam -- all contribute to it. There is nothing wrong with such a fetish, but don't let it dominate your sexual thoughts.

I used my friend's computer when staying at his house after he fell asleep because I didn't have access to a computer at home. He woke up and walked in on me while I was masturbating to a picture online. He didn't really say anything, he just turned off the computer, and it is really awkward talking to him sometimes for fear of him bringing it up again. (age 18)

Just try to be normal. Would he have minded if you had used the computer to look up movie showtimes?

This story is kinda the other way around; I found a friend masturbating. About a year ago, I was at my friend's house and we were getting ready to go into his pool. I decided to get changed in his room, considering his brother using the bathroom. I accidentally walked in on him masturbating and I said "whoopsy." During our time in the pool, he brought up the subject of me catching him. He told me he likes me as more than a friend. I keep telling him to relax and that I won't tell anyone, but he won't settle down. He has been my very best friend since second grade or something, and it both bugs me and hurts me that he is so scared around me. What should I do? (age 15)

He was obviously not that upset about you seeing him masturbate; indeed, he seemed to enjoy it, because it gave him the chance to let you know of his feelings. I think it is those feelings that make you upset and not the incident. It is understandable that you are not comfortable being around someone who is into you in that way when you aren't.

I was alone in a common room at school and really needed to masturbate, so I thought I'd do it really quickly. I was having an orgasm (it was the best one I've ever had) and ejaculating when the head teacher walked in! I was so embarrassed. She shouted at me for getting semen on the carpet and "being obscene in a public place." She told my parents and I was grounded for three weeks, made to scrub the carpet and given the "masturbation is a private thing" talk. SO TAKE MY ADVICE: MASTURBATE ONLY IN YOUR BEDROOM OR A LOCKED BATHROOM. (age 13)

Wow.

One afternoon I was masturbating in the living room as my computer is there, without the door locked as no one was home. Suddenly, the front door opened and my brother and his friend were staring at me for a second and then closed the door immediately. I was so embarrassed as I was fully nude with a dildo. I felt so violated but my brother came and consoled me and said that it is normal. I was relieved but exposed so fully that I keep thinking of it when I masturbate and I cannot really concentrate! (age 18)

Try to relax and not think about that incident. Be glad you have a sympathetic brother.

I masturbated on chair close to the balcony in my apartment house. I was alone that day. However, I was caught by the next door man who was on his balcony which is right next to mine. After I finished doing it and still had my hand inside my vagina, I saw that he was looking at me. I was really embarrassed. (age 23)

Everyone should remember that an apartment or hotel balcony is not a private space.

My girlfriend and some of her friends caught me masturbating the other day. I was completely naked in the living room. I thought I would faint. I had the stereo on and didn't hear them come in. I turned around and saw them just as I was ejaculating. I couldn't stop!!! They just stood there with their hands to their mouths chuckling. My girlfriend showed them out and started laughing even more at me. She said don't worry but she couldn't quit laughing. (age 25)

That is an important lesson. Don't be so wrapped up that you would miss people coming in. Also, you discovered you were being watched at the point of ejaculatory inevitability, where you will ejaculate no matter what happens.

I was staying at a friend's house for a week while my mother was away on a business trip. I had a terrible crush on him since I was fourteen or so. Anyway, when I walked into his bedroom to ask him if he had any clean towels, I found him masturbating. We were both embarrassed, but later that night we had a long talk. I actually found out that he liked me back! We've been together now for three years, so I guess being caught isn't all that bad. Thanks for this site. (age 19)

Most stories here are from the person who was caught, but yours is from the catcher's point of view.

My mom just walked in on me masturbating today and I had a nudie mag in my inactive hands so I was scared to death but all she did was tell me to go to the bathroom to finish up because she didn't want me to mess up my sheets. Do you think she doesn't care about the dirty mag or the fact that I masturbate? (age 14)

Apparently not, but her direction to finish in the bathroom seems to reflect a hostility to the act. I don't think she should have told you that.

I thought I was alone in the house one night and was on the couch watching TV and masturbating. I had closed my eyes and was thinking about this girl I knew and after I came I opened my eyes and my sister was standing in the doorway staring at me. I freaked. She stood there and smiled at me then went down the hall to her room. Ever since then she grins at me a lot. Whats up with her? (age 17)

I think she's empathetic that you and she have something in common.

I was at my grandma's house mowing her yard and I had to use the bathroom so I went into the house. When I got done using the bathroom I started masturbating. All of a sudden the door opened. It was my grandma putting towels away and I just started to ejaculate. I couldn't stop. She said not to worry, because she wouldn't tell anyone. She handed me a towel to clean up while I still had an erection. (age 17)

Thank you for your vivid description of the point of ejaculatory inevitability.

I was on vacation with my family and they all went out on the boat while I stayed back to take a nap. After I woke up with an erection, I started masturbating vigorously, not knowing that it was time for the cleaning crew to come in. The door opened and there I was naked in a recliner and the cleaning lady said "don't stop just for me." I felt relieved that she wasn't mad or told on me. I think back about that day and masturbate to it a lot! It was out of state and haven't been back since, but I want to. (age 25)

She should have knocked.

I was visiting my friend a couple of weeks ago when everyone went to bed but me. I stayed up to watch TV and I started masturbating on the couch in the living room. His mom was watching for at least 5-10 minutes and I didn't make it obvious that I knew she was there and I kept at it because it really turned me on and she never stopped staring at me. Then I ejaculated all over myself and when I was done she went back to bed. In the morning she made all of us breakfast with a smile. Should I say anything to her about it or let it be? I think about that night all the time when I masturbate. (age 24)

I think it is better if only you know you knew she was watching.

I was camping with my sister and brother one night and having not masturbated in a week, I knew I was gonna do it. I did it while lying 4 inches away from my sister, 2 years older than me and supposedly sound asleep. I figured I'd be quiet and get it out of the way. When I came, it felt so good, I reflexively rolled to the right, and I accidentally shot my ejaculate on her, and my loud moans woke her up. I was so mortified, and she freaked out, and wiped it off with her hand and we ended up having a whole "masturbation conversation." It is still awkward looking her in the eye. (age 16)

You are lucky that she was willing to have a conversation with you. I think that means she understands. Try not to be so reckless next time.

I was masturbaing and my male friend walked in and asked to join me. I was so embarrassed, but he told me to finish up, and we talked and a year later we're engaged. (age 18)

That's a nice story, but I don't think I would advise women who want to get married to arrange to have a man catch them masturbating.

Once I was thinking about this girl I liked and got an erection. Soon I started masturbating and just as I was about to come, my twin brother walked in (the door lock needed repairs). I couldn't stop from coming. But my brother said it was OK, that he did it and it is normal anyway. I am so happy I have a very understanding brother. (age 16)

He must be the older one.

My mom caught me masturbating a while back. I was in my room and she walked in. She just looked at me and acted like she didn't know what I was doing. She's moved on. I still feel really bad about it. Any ideas? (female, age 14)

You should move on. Of course she knew what you were doing.

I was at a sleepover and one girl was talking about masturbating. They started to do it with the door locked and I didn't want to. When everyone went to sleep I decided to try it and when I did it someone woke up and caught me. She just came up to me and said she did it herself. I haven't talked to this person and I feel weird now. (age 12)

I think a lot of people who were there said and did things they might feel weird about. You shouldn't let it bother you. What happens at sleepovers stays at sleepovers.

A few days ago, my mom caught me in the act. I usually masturbate naked on my bed with the door closed, but the door was halfway open when I snatched my blanket and covered up. She didn't react or anything. She just had this blank expression and left. Typically, I wouldn't feel so ashamed of doing it, but that feeling of being caught makes it very disturbing to me, somewhat. Now, I feel guilty to masturbate. The eerie thing about it is that my mom is acting as normal as ever, and as if nothing had happened. Should I ask her, or try and wait for her to talk to me about it, because I really need to get this stress off of me. Or, should I try to avoid the subject? (female, age 15)

You aren't even sure she saw you masturbating. A little guilt is normal, but you ought not be stressed about what your mom might not have seen. If she did, she is cool about it. She won't say anything if she hasn't by now.

I was masturbating in my room. I'm very silent but suddenly yesterday my mom was standing outside the door. I don't know if she could see inside. I told her I was feeling pain and was checking if everything was all right. She said "oh" and walked by. I was nervous. Do you think she knew what I was really doing? (age 15)

Yes, I think she did. If she believed you were really checking for pain, she would have asked about it.

I was masturbating in my room when my maid came in, but I had already started to ejaculate. I couldn't stop. Do you think she doesn't care or that she will tell? (age 17)

You vividly describe the point of ejaculatory inevitability. You just can't stop at that point. I doubt she will tell. If she did, it would reflect poorly on her because she didn't knock or wait until you had a chance to tell her not to come in.

One time I was masturbating and I normally do that when every one is asleep. My little brother walked in on me from a nightmare (my door has a messed up lock) and he went and told my dad. I was so upset because I got the 'it's OK to masturbate' speech. (female, age 13)

Your dad was probably just worried about you. At least now that it's out in the open, you don't have to worry about it anymore.

Once I got caught masturbating, and the person who caught me was my brother's fiancee. She and I don't get along very well. I was in her living room spending the night on the couch. I thought everyone was sleeping, and I was silently moaning, and she said "what are you doing" and I said nothing, and then she said "keep quiet." Do you think I was being that loud (quietly moaning)? (age 24)

At that time of night, it's easy to hear any noise at all. You will be sisters-in-law soon, and there is already trouble between you. She is probably trying to assert dominance over you. Remember, it was at her house. Be especially quiet when you might disturb others on their own turf.

Just a few hours ago, my sister walked in on me. I was looking at some porn on my computer in my room. I was sitting there with my penis hanging out and everything. (It was about 11:30 PM) She walked in and I scooted the chair as far as it will go trying to hide, and she asked me for toilet paper. I replied quickly, "no and next time knock please," and she just closed the door. My heart was racing. It was really embarrassing and I hope she didn't see me. (age 15)

She was probably preoccupied with her toilet paper emergency. I think you got off lucky.

One time I was masturbating in my room. I had no idea my dad was upstairs as well. I was about to reach an orgasm, and my dad walked in. He said, "Oh, sorry," and left. I was so embarrassed. I didn't know what to do. Later on, my mom talked to me about it, and assured me it is OK to masturbate. I was happy I got her approval, but was so humiliated!! (female, age 13)

Well, you know more about what your parents think than someone who was never caught.

My little brother (who is 2 years younger than me) walked in on me masturbating the other day. Needless to say, we were both very embarrassed at first, but we kind of laughed it off and agreed to forget about the whole thing. Of course, that's easier said than done; I find myself trying to avoid him. I'm tense and uncomfortable around him and I don't think we've had a proper conversation since it happened. Do you think I should talk to him about what happened? My brother and I are very close. We have a healthy, open relationship and I think we could both handle discussing it, but is it really necessary? What do you think? (female, age 16)

You already agreed to forget about the whole thing. That was a good idea. Now do it.

I have a problem about privacy and I don't know what to do. I share a room with my sister who's 13. I started masturbating 3 years ago and I always waited until she was asleep to do it. But now she's started masturbating too. I know this because even though she tries to be quiet, I hear her at night. I don't want to embarrass her so I pretend to be asleep. But hearing her masturbate makes me incredibly turned on, but I can't touch myself until she's finished. Some nights she's quick but other nights she takes forever and it's agony waiting. Then when she finally goes to sleep, I'm so excited, I have to masturbate for an hour or even longer before I can get to sleep. Some mornings I'm so tired. I wish I could do it like I used to and get a good night's sleep but if my sister heard me masturbate when she was doing it, I don't know what she'd think. I also feel terrible about listening to her but the room is just too small. What can I do? (female, age 15)

I have a feeling she's heard you masturbating too. Your situation is a lot like the people in college dorms that I have written about. I think that unless you can come up with separate bedrooms, the only solution is for you to discuss it. Since you are the older of the two, it is incumbent upon you to initiate the discussion. I don't think confronting her about what you have heard will be helpful. You might just tell her that since she's 13 now, she's old enough to know about something called masturbation. Then tell her what it is -- don't ask her if she knows -- and ask if she'd mind if you did it at night. Remember, she already knows you do it at night, so there's really no harm in asking this, and you gain the benefit that you can masturbate without fear of her catching you. She is also in great fear of being caught by you, so she would be greatly relieved to have it out in the open.

When I was about 5, I would masturbate with a vibrating pen, the kind that wrote in many different colors. My mom caught me once and gave me a lecture on how I shouldn't do that. Now I'm a teenager, and I masturbate very often. If I were caught by my mom, do you think she would freak out? Do you think now since I'm older it wouldn't be such a big deal?

Yes, I think your mom will understand, considering how precocious you were back then.

I was in my room masturbating and I was having an awesome orgasm and my mom walked in! She was very cool about it. She told me that it was normal behavior and that many people do it. She offered to buy me a vibrator and I accepted. The only difference now is that she makes sure that she knocks before entering my room. (female, age 15)

So you both learned something, and you got a vibrator. That's a pretty good deal. I think a lot of the girls who read this site are jealous of you and your mom.

I used to masturbate a lot when I first started doing it at age 11. I did it in my bed most of the time but I shared my room with my older stepsister. She was about 14. I would wait for her to be sleeping. One time I thought she was sleeping and I was doing it with my undies off under the blanket. It felt real different that time, and I forgot anyone was there. I was just finished and pulling my undies up as quietly as I could when I heard her say, "Feels awesome, huh?" I looked over and she was right there sitting up on her bed looking. I threw the blanket over my head; I was freaking out. She laughed and said she did it too. I stayed under that blanket till the morning. She was cool about it and she never told my mom. (female, age 13)

Well, I gather that you never told her mom about it either, and that makes you cool too.

My older sister caught me masturbating when I was 9. I was scared she'd tell mom, but she didn't. A few days later, I said thanks for not telling on me and she said that she sometimes does it too. A long time went by and then I caught her doing it in our room. She said that if I wanted to do it that it was OK. Most of the time we did stuff when it was private, but we did it at the same time sometimes too. I guess since we caught each other it just put everything even between us. We laugh about that sometimes. My sister is awesome. She's 16 now. (female, age 13)

You and your sister handled it well.

This is just some advice. I usually masturbate after I get out of the shower or decide to change so that I can say that I locked my door so I could undress. (female, age 12)

I think that's pretty good advice.

I have been masturbating since I was 11. My parents think it is wrong. I still masturbate daily and I am so terrified of getting caught that I dont enjoy it as much. What should I do? (female, age 16)

They didn't do anything to you when they caught you before, so why would they do anything now? You are going to have to determine your private morality separate from your parents. Most people don't think it's wrong to masturbate. Try not to think about your parents, and try to enjoy yourself.

I was masturbating the other day and my boyfriend walked in. He has never seen me doing this before and he talks about it all the time now. Is it normal for him to get so excited about this? (age 16)

Yes, very.

I love your site. Before I came here I thought I was the only one to masturbate! Anyway, the other day my mom caught me and gave me the talk and said it's perfectly natural. I still feel weird around her though. (female, age 13)

Be glad your mom approves. Look at all the messages I get from people who are afraid their parents will not understand.

My older sister caught me my first time masturbating when I was 11. I did not even know what it was. I had just read about it in a women's magazine. Later that day, I told Mom and Dad what I had done. They handled everything perfectly and did not discourage me. I still feel bad about it. My older sister and my dad always look at everything I look at online, as if it were pornography or something. (female, age 15)

It's always embarrassed to be discovered, but 55 percent of males are at some point. I suspect fewer females are. Everyone was OK with it. You do not need to worry about it now. They might even have forgotten.

My mom caught me masturbating with one of her sex toys. Now she won't even look at me. What do I do? (female, age 13)

I doubt she'll be mad for long. She's probably shocked to learn you're growing up. Just try to forget the whole thing.

I was masturbating one night in bed when my mom and dad walked in on me. I couldn't cover it up because I was rolling around on my bed and knocked the sheets off. My mom was fine with it and offered to buy me a vibrator, but I don't think my dad was OK because every time I have tried to talk to him, he acted as if he didn't hear me. What should I do? (age 15)

I think you should stop trying to talk to him about it. He was obviously shocked to see you masturbating. Your mother seems to have taken charge of the situation. He probably thinks that's best.

Today I was in my bedroom, and I was moaning while I was rubbing my clitoris, and my mom walked in. She came over and said "doesn't it feel good?" I couldn't stop and I had an orgasm. I feel funny about the whole thing. (age 14)

Your mom probably meant well, but in that situtation, saying anything at all makes the moment even more embarrassing. She probably wanted you to know that she approved rather than disapproved of your masturbating, but I think it would have been better if she had just gotten out without saying anything.

I was masturbating last night with my fingers and my mom walked in and I was completely naked. I am sooo embarrassed. Should I talk to her?

I don't think you have to. She was probably embarrassed too.

I was babysitting last weekend and the 9-year old girl walked in on me masturbating. I know it was dumb, but I thought she was fast asleep. I'm terrified she'll say something to her parents. What if they think I'm some pervert who can't be trusted around children? Should I tell them myself? It's so embarrassing I don't know how to bring the topic up. (female, age 17)

I don't think there's any reason to do that. If the girl says anything, the parents would probably simply not hire you again. I doubt they would confront you. Most likely the girl didn't know what you were doing and won't say anything. It would be a good idea to keep your hands out of your pants while babysitting.

I really don't have privacy. If my mom sees a closed door, she'll just bust on in, or if the door is locked, she'll knock continuously until I open. I'm sort of scared that one day I will make a mistake and leave the door unlocked, and she will walk in while I'm masturbating. How can I tell her in a nice way that I want her to respect my privacy without her knowing what I'm doing? (female, age 13)

You could tell her what you just told me. You might mention that a girl your age needs privacy, and she might not relate it to masturbation specifically. Fear of getting caught leads a lot of people to be especially careful about keeping doors locked.

This story isn't as embarrassing as it is funny. I was masturbating in my room that I share with my sister. She was in the living room. When I reach orgasm, I moan loudly and I sometimes gasp. The walls of our house are paper thin so my sister heard. She walked in and I was sitting on my bed breathing heavily and she gave me a funny look. She said "I'm so sorry. I heard something and thought you were choking." I replied, "No, I was having an orgasm." We talk about everything so neither of us had a problem with it and we just laughed. (female, age 14)

That's a good story. This next one is more embarrassing than funny.

Today I was masturbating at my computer. My brother walked in, and I was so mortified, I slammed down my monitor and turned off my speakers, but you could still hear it. My brother snickered at me and later told my mom, "You know what she could be doing all day?" I don't think my mom approves of me doing it so I'm sort of scared. (female, age 13)

It is unlikely your mom disapproves. Your brother is unlikely to be in a position to judge; if he doesn't masturbate frequently already, he will soon. Your embarrassment will fade.

Earlier today I was masturbating and my mom saw me. I looked up and didn't know what to say. My mom just went back to what she was doing. She didn't say anything. I was so embarrassed and just walked out of the room. A couple minutes later she just kinda acted like everything was OK. My mom still seems a little distant and mad at me. I'm afraid that she will tell other people like my dad or someone. What should I do? (female, age 14)

You don't need to anything. I imagine everything is OK. Your mom has no reason to be mad at you or tell anyone.

I am grounded for a month because my mom caught my masturbating while on webcam with my male friend who was doing the same. My mom hasn't looked at me since and I am not allowed on the net for a month! (female, age 13)

She's probably just trying to protect you from being exploited online and probably isn't judgmental about your masturbating in private.

I was caught masturbating. I was masturbating with my boyfriend over the Internet and my mom walked in. She promptly closed the door and told me to shut down my computer. She said that what I was doing was pornography. I told her that I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, but she acted as though she was ashamed of me. I'm scared they won't let me go on a trip with them to see my boyfriend. I just don't know what else to say to them. (age 17)

I don't think your mom is upset because you were masturbating, but because of what you were doing on the Internet. Doing something like that was pretty unheard of in their generation. They are probably concerned because you are involved with an Internet boyfriend you've never met, and this incident only makes them think it's worse. Perhaps it would help if they were reminded that you are not sexually active but plenty of girls your age with in-person boyfriends are. They might be concerned that you will try to make up for lost time sexually with this net guy when you finally meet. It might be a good idea for you to work at real relationships with local guys.

I was masturbating and my boyfriend saw me. He asked me if I wanted to have sex wth him. What should I do? (age 15)

I think sex would be a bad idea at your age.

Once while I was masturbating I left the door unlocked and my cat came in so my door opened. I waited until I was done to close my door but I didn't hear the front door open so my mom came in and she saw me masturbating. It was so embarrassing. What should I do? (female, age 16)

I'm sure she understands. I don't think you need to do anything.

I was masturbating while looking at porn sites last night, with the laptop in my bed. I slept without closing the window, and when my dad came in early in the morning to collect the trash, the site was still on the screen and he might have seen. I'm scared that he might tell my mom. (age 16)

Don't worry about it. He might not have noticed and it is less likely still that he will tell anyone or say anything to you. If he does, you can deal with it then.

My dad heard me masturbating (I got a bit too loud) and told me to come downstairs after I was done. He explained that if I'm at the point where I'm going to have sex, I need protection, etc. I pretty much explained that wasn't the case, but I was mortified. (female,l age 15)

You shouldn't be. Your dad obviously cares about you a lot, and he is cool with you masturbating.

I was in the bathroom touching myself while drying off, as I was rubbing, the door opened and my mom came in. She acted as though I wasn't doing anything. I stopped and finished drying myself. How do I tell her not to come in when I am in there? (female, age 13)

I suspect she will be more careful from now on. There's nothing wrong with reminding her to knock.

I'm 16 and none of my friends masturbate. I got caught by my brother yesterday while I was on top of my bed rubbing my clitoris. He left quickly and now every time I see him he grins at me.

That means he understands. I suspect many of your friends masturbate, but it is also typical to not talk about it.

I work in a hospital on night shift and my colleague discovered me masturbating and I'm really ashamed about it and plan to quit my job. What should I do? (female, age 35)

I tell everyone who asks that it is very dangerous to masturbate anyplace other your own private space. Be glad it was a colleague and not a superior. If no one says anything about it, you shouldn't worry. If you get called to answer for it, they might not even take any action about it, so you would be overreacting by quitting.

I have never been caught but I have had a few close calls. It seems that I have a lot of luck. I'm sure that if I have to cover up quickly the person can tell something was happening. It's just good that no one has caught me "full frontal." I'm pretty sure that I would be too embarrassed to talk about it. (male, age 13)

I suggest you work on having fewer close calls.

One time I was masturbating in my room and was close to orgasm and my mom walked in. She just said "sorry" and walked out again. The next day she put a lock on my room and provided me with lube. I couldn't believe it! I love her for it. (age 15)

That's a happy story!

While at a sleepover, I got really hot and I needed to masturbate. After everyone was asleep, I decided to masturbate. Another girl woke up and caught me. She didn't say anything and just went back to sleep. (age 12)

She was probably envious that you could do that with everyone there.

I've been masturbating ever since I was young. Although I've never been caught in the act. But today when I came home, no one was in the house, and so naturally I did my thing. Apparently while I was masturbating, I didn't hear my brother-in-law come through the front door. I think he heard me moaning so he came upstairs and asked if anyone was home. I was too freaked out to respond. I think I mumbled something and he knew it was me, so he went downstairs. Good thing he didn't walk in on me or else it would have been extremely awkward. But I just can't bring myself to go downstairs because I really don't know what to do. I'm just scared of his response, that is, if he does say anything to me. I feel so embarrassed. (female, age 19)

He will probably say nothing. He might not have even figured out what you were doing. In any case, he probably masturbates more than you do.

I was the other day masturbating in the middle of the day, when my father called out to me. I was about to ejaculate and somehow I decided to answer him, and while trying to say yes, my voice spontaneously sounded like moaning. (age 19)

Actually, that's happened to me too, but it was on the phone, so I was able to make an excuse.

My mom caught me masturbating just as I was ejaculating. She just left and said nothing, but the next day she provided me with lube and put a lock on my door! Is this normal? (age 15)

No, but I don't think it's something you should complain about.

I was at my girlfriend's house, waiting for her to get back from school. I thought that I had about 30 minutes to myself before she came home, so I started to masturbate to her panties. About 15 minutes into my masturbation session, she walked in on me ejaculating on her panties. She was very upset and weirded out by me masturbating. She said that it was particularly weird because I knew that we could have intercourse any time. This put a serious strain on our relationship. What can I do to make her see that there was nothing wrong with it and that she shouldn't be reacting the way she is? (age 18)

I don't agree that there was nothing wrong with it. You weren't respecting her privacy by your unorthodox use of her panties. I suggest apologizing for that but being firm about masturbating being normal even for someone with a regular sex partner. If she still doesn't agree, why not show her HealthyStrokes.com?

I was caught when I was 13. My brother's friend barged into my room without knocking and I was on top of my covers completely naked. He was 10 at the time and just giggled and left. The other day he approached me and jokingly asked me to buy him porn (because I just turned 18), so he's cool with it, but for a while I was scared that he'd tell someone. I did end up getting him a magazine for his 15th birthday.

Boys' Life? The New Yorker? Martha Stewart Living?

When I was 17, I dated a girl 3 years older than me who had a younger sister in my high school class. I liked to ask my girlfriend to masturbate while I watched her, and she would always do it for me. She would often ask me to do it for her, but I was too embarrassed. She said I was too uptight. Finally when I came to her house one day and wanted to go to her bedroom to mess around, she said she wouldn't do anything until I masturbated while she watched, so I caved in. She insisted I lie on the bed totally naked and masturbate to orgasm while she stood there, fully clothed, watching. It was hard to get over my initial awkwardness, but once I got going, I was able to get very excited and climax loudly. Afterward, she giggled at me. I asked her what was funny. With an evil grin on her face, she took a couple of steps to the folding closet doors and opened them to reveal her sister who had been hiding there watching the whole thing! The sister, who was my classmate in school, walked out, smiling, then handed me some tissue to tease me. It was at first the single most embarrassing moment of my life, but later on the thought of it really turned me on. So after a week of getting teased by my girlfriend and her sister whenever I was over, I went out on limb and responded to one of the sisters' teases with "So what. Why should I be embarrassed? It's completely natural and I've got nothing to be ashamed of." She took the bait and dared me to strip and masturbate in front of them both again, this time with them both watching out in the open. What followed is a masturbation session that I still fantasize about. There is nothing quite as exciting about getting naked in front of two girls and having them ask you to finish yourself off while they watch. As I was doing it, my girlfriend even made me maintain eye contact with both of them the whole time, which made me feel all the more exposed. (age 32)

That's quite a story. I would have been ready to dump the girlfriend for that betrayal of you.

My dad just walked in on me while I was masturbating. I was watching porn on my computer and my dad knocked quickly and then came in before I could say anything. I had tucked myself away, but my fly was still open, so I tried to scoot my chair under my desk farther to hide it. He said, "What are you hiding?" I was freaking out so I was like, "Umm, nothing, what do you want?" He just said, "I'm... Ummm, going to go... out for a little bit...." I'm still very embarrassed, but I'm more worried about them finding out I was looking at porn! I'm very very worried. What should I do? (age 15)

I don't think your dad is going to say anything, and you don't need to either.

Once it was late at night and I was masturbating with my door cracked in front of my computer. I didn't have my pants completely off but was looking at porn when my mom came in. I got the whole deer in the headlights thing, but for some reason she didn't seem to notice. I guess she just thought I was using my computer for something else. After she left I closed and locked my door. Close call, huh? I defiantely learned my lesson and always lock my door (and make up bad excuses) when I'm masturbating. (age 15)

OK, but I suspect she in fact knew what you were doing. She probably didn't want to say anything about it. Be thankful for the lock.

I was sitting on the couch this morning naked thinking that I was home alone. So I started masturbating and my 20 year old sister walked in from the garage and I didn't hear come in. She freaked out and said I could have done it in my room. So I stood up and had to walk next to her to get to my room. Should I worry about the conversation? (age 25)

I think that was the conversation.

My mother had just left for work and I decided to strip completely naked and masturbate in the living room with a vibrator a friend gave me. However, my mom had forgotten her purse and barged in the front door and caught me. She didn't say anything then, but later that evening I got the sex talk. (female, age 16)

I hear stuff like that a lot.

I was about 12 and I had just learned to masturbate, and I didn't know to lock the door. My brother walked in and he was shocked, as was I, but he said that it's completely normal and he does it too. I later caught him doing it too, so I don't feel embarrassed anymore, and I lock the door. (male, age 14)

I hear stuff like that a lot too.

Earlier today my 11 year old sister walked in on me and stood in the doorway. It was obvious she saw everything. She said, "sorry, I've come to get a bag." She got a bag out the closet and walked out, without looking at me. What should I do? (male, age 16)

She obviously knows about sex and probably has an idea what masturbation is. The experience may have traumatized her, and I suggest you tell your parents what happened before she does. It would be better if you didn't say anything about the episode unless she brings it up first.

When I was 17, I was home alone and waiting for my boyfriend to get back from work. I started to masturbate with a dildo, and apparently he got off work early, so he came over to surprise me. He walked into my room (without knocking) and saw me. This led to him performing oral sex on me and both of us losing our virginity. It was the most fantastic day of my life! (age 20)

I think a lot of people will like you for sharing that with this site.

When I was 15, my friend, who was also female and 15, invited me to spend a weekend with her and her family at a beach house on Cape Cod. The beach house had only one bedroom, which her parents used. That left me, my friend, and her 16 year old brother to sleep in the living room.

*** (long story deleted)

Sadly, they moved to the west coast soon after that vacation. Thanks for listening. (age 25)

Wow, that was quite a story, but it doesn't really belong on this web site. I enjoyed reading it, though, especially since I live a lot closer to Cape Cod than to the west coast. On my last trip to the Cape, I pointed out to my companion that "cod" was a euphemism for penis in the 19th century. She didn't seem to appreciate the comment, so I refrained from pointing out that the Cape is kind of, sort of shaped like one too. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any more stories.

My dad always says stuff joking around like, "I know you were choking the chicken," and I have always denied it because I had never done it. Well I finally got into the habit of doing it and soon he walked in on me, and as soon as I saw the door opening, I ran into the bathroom. He said something but I was too terrified. I don't know what to do. (age 15)

His joking around about it suggests that he is as uncomfortable about it as you are. He is probably as embarrassed as you about being discovered. There is no reason for you to say anything. Just be normal.

Yesterday I was at home masturbating completelly naked, and my mother entered my room and saw me. What should I do? (female, age 13)

She was probably as embarrassed as you are. She might be happy that you're maturing sexually. I don't think you need to say anything about it.

I've been masturbating since I was 12, but now I want to tell my parents about my habit because I feel someday I will get caught. Should I do this? (age 14)

No. Even if you get caught, I would still advise saying nothing. There is really nothing to say.

I've been masturbating since I was in the 6th grade but I didn't get caught until my freshman year in high school. I was about to jump in the shower, but I was really horny so I decided to masturbate quickly, and when I was in the middle of it, my dad unlocked the door from the outside and barged in, but when he saw me, he shut the door and never said anything about it. (age 16)

He was probably more embarrassed than you were.

My little sister (who is 12) caught me masturbating about four years ago and is always joking about how she is going to make up a story about how I "masturbate all the time." And she says she is going to tell my girlfriend. I doubt she will, but I'm really scared about it, because she might actually tell her and I'm worried what my girlfriend might think of me. (age 15)

I often tell girlfriends that every male with a girlfriend masturbates regularly. She ought to understand. Your sister is a little old to be a tattletale, and I think she knows she would look worse for telling than you would for masturbating. You can take away your sister's power by pulling the pin on that grenade yourself (i.e., tell your girlfriend before your sister can).

Two days ago I was masturbating in my room and my sister (who is 16) walked in. She told me that she does it every day; she gave me a dildo yesterday. Should I use it? (age 14)

I advise against dildoes at your age, and if you're having orgasms now, why bother with them? I think my readers would agree that you have a cool sister.

I was feeling really horny at camp, so while most of the people in my cabin were in the pool, I decided to masturbate in the cabin; I couldn't resist. One of the girls in my cabin got out early and walked in shocked at seeing me masturbating. I have tried to laugh it off with her because she is a good friend, but she still seems a little awkward around me. Will her awkwardness ever end? (age 14)

I think it will. Just try to be normal around her and don't think about that day.

My story is not about being caught but about catching someone. I was visiting my cousins recently, and late one night, I walked into my 14 year old cousin's room. I knocked and called his name before I entered, but I suppose he didn't hear me, and I discovered him masturbating. It was pretty obvious that he was mortified. I apologized and quickly left. I planned lo just leave it at that, but about 20 minutes later, he came into the room I was staying in, still looking horrified. The first thing I said was, "Don't worry about it. Everyone does it," and I gave him my sweetest, most understanding smile. We had a pretty good talk about it. I wanted to make absolutely sure he didn't feel ashamed or uncomfortable. Since he was pretty new to the whole thing and had questions that I couldn't really answer, I referred him to HealthyStrokes.com. Ever since then, he's really opened up to me about other things, and our whole relationship has been a lot better. (age 21)

What a great story! You are an excellent cousin. Wouldn't it be great if young people were only discovered masturbating by readers of this site?

One time when my mom went out for something, I decided to have a choke in the bathroom. She had to come back in for something, and she was very quiet, so I didn't hear her. I was doing it loudly with lots of lube, so I was making a loud, rapid squealing sound. She said through the door, "I just forgot something." The moment she started talking, I froze like a deer in the headlights. She just walked off, and I was too mortified to resume. Do you think she knew what I was doing in there? (age 15)

There's a very good chance, but I think she understands.

I haven't been caught masturbating, although I have been caught quickly taking my hand out of my underpants a few times by my mom when I was masturbating. Now she knocks before she enters. Do you think she knows I masturbate? (female, age 13)

Yes, she does, and what you describe constitutes being caught masturbating.

I got home from work one night and went to bed. I couldn't get to sleep so I decided to masturbate like usual. It took me about 5 minutes and I was just orgasming when my father-in-law opened the door. I was so embarrassed. I ejaculated a lot of fluid. I was so relieved when he only said, "wow ... that was a good one" and then shut the door. (age 29)

Another illustration of the point of ejaculatory inevitability. Once you get there, you can't stop.

I got caught masturbating by my mom twice in my teen years. The first time I was in bed and had just started when she walked in. I had my underwear down so I just rolled over to hide my erection. The second time she came in, I had just started to have an orgasm. That one was embarrassing. Each time, she said nothing just turned and walked away, so I guess that's good. (age 35)

Very good.

I was caught masturbating by my big brother, who was 21. He giggled when he closed the door and left. He grins at me when I walk by and constantly makes jokes about it. (age 11)

You can't have masturbated too many times. If your brother is like the typical male who answers my surveys, he has masturbated over 3000 times. Maybe the joke should be on him.

One day while I was masturbating on the sofa completely naked, my aunt opened the door and came in. She saw me and stood there in shock. What should I do? (age 16)

I don't think you need to do anything.

I am a straight man but work in construction and have to travel with male coworkers. Once at a motel, my coworker went to take a shower I decided to jack off. Right at the moment of ejaculation with my underwear pulled down he walks out! I didn't hear him! I was embarrassed, but he just said now he wouldn't have to worry getting caught. The next time I was lying on my back naked again in a motel room, jacking like crazy when the maid opened the door. Guess I didn't hear her knock. She just apologized and closed the door, but she did so while staring at my crotch which I was trying to cover with my hand. (age 50)

Good stories. I think maids see a lot.

One time I was masturbating in my room with my stereo turned on, and my dad's friends camed in my room just to say hello. I was so embarrassed. Imagine, four of my dad friends and dad caught me. After a few days, they gave me some Playboy magazines.

They were able to empathize with you.

I was quietly jerking off in my room. Just as I was approaching orgasm, I heard my 6-year old cousin say "Boo!" and put her head around the door. I was so freaked out that I stopped instantly. I told her to go and after asking why (I didn't tell her why) she did. I managed to convince her I was just undressing, but now I'm worried about what to say if I'm ever in a situation like this again. (age 15)

She didn't know anything, but your situation reminded me of an old joke. A little boy walked in on his parents having sex and said "what are you doing?" His dad said, "I'm playing bridge and mommy is my partner." Then he walked in on his aunt and uncle and said "what are you doing?" His aunt said, "We're playing bridge and Uncle Ned is my partner." Then he walked in on his sister and her boyfriend in the basement and said "what are you doing?" She said, "I'm playing bridge and Danny is my partner." Then he walked in on his brother masturbating and said "what are you doing?" He said, "I'm playing bridge." The little brother asked, "who's your partner?" The older brother replied, "with a hand like this, who needs a partner?"

I have been masturbating since I was about 12. Lately, I have been trying new things instead of just the normal routine, so last week I got a cucumber from the kitchen and began masturbating with it in my bedroom. My mother came in as I was doing it. She didn't say anything to me, just walked out, but she hasn't spoken much to me since. I wonder what would be the best way to bring this up with her without being too awkward about it. (age 15)

As the senior one, it is probably her call to say something. She is probably confused about how fast you are growing up. It might be better to let her get used to the idea. Saying something might make it worse.

My mom has caught me masturbating twice within one year. I would like to tell her that I don't want to hide it from her anymore since I do it a lot when she is home. She is bound to catch me more. I don't want things to be weird if she sees me naked and masturbating again. I think it is a pretty normal thing to do. How should I tell her this? (age 18)

You should act like a grown man and not a little boy at your age. You should not be occupied with what your mother thinks about your masturbating. You should want to hide it from her. Things will be weird if she catches you again. Masturbation is normal, but getting caught by your mother at your age is not. Instead of telling her anything, you ought to be making more of an effort to not be discovered.

I was sitting at home one day and decided to start masturbating with a dildo. I started to get close to climax then my boyfriend walked in to see me masturbating. He said it's OK and that he masturbates too. Even though we are still dating, I always feel awkward. I don't know what to do. (age 16)

Don't worry about it. For him, it is something happily remembered. He might never have told you he masturbates if he hadn't caught you, so you got something out of it too.

I was masturbating to porn on my computer and my mom came in. I switched to my other tab and it was a picture of George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven. I tried to disguise what I was doing but I was nervous and it might have been obvious. I hope she doesn't think I'm gay now. (age 17)

At least it wasn't a picture of Macaulay Culkin or that kid from "Jerry Maguire." I doubt she thinks you're gay even if she factored in the Clooney picture. Now go search for some pics of his aunt Rosemary when she was young.

I got caught because one of my friends told my litle sister about it and we share the room. I thought she was sleeping and I masturbated and then she sat up and asked me if I was doing what my friend had told her. I begged her not to tell mom and she didn't, but now I'm so totally mad at my friend that we don't talk to each other anymore. (age 13)

You ought to forgive your friend. It looks like it brought you and your sister closer.

Last summer, I was at my cousin's house. They have a swimming pool, and a changing room on the side of the house. After taking a swim, I went to change, used the bathroom, and for some reason got an erection and felt very aroused, so I started to mastubate. I was facing the opposite direction from the door, but all of a sudden, one of my uncle's friends burst in, quickly apologized, and shut the door. I was extremely nervous because I have always been terrified of being caught. When I walked out, some of the people outside that were by each other were talking (including my dad, uncle, his friend, and my other uncle.) They sort of looked at me strangely, but considering that he might have not known what I was doing, I just walked on by without looking embarrassed. To this day no one has ever confronted me about it, but I always wonder if that man saw me and told my dad or someone else. (age 16)

There are a lot better things to wonder about. What difference would it have made if he had seen you? All of those men have probably masturbated a lot more than you have.

I have never been caught but I get a rush from masturbating where I'm not supposed to. (age 15)

That is dangerous behavior. If you were discovered by the wrong people, you could be in big trouble.

One day my girlfriend (with whom I am not sexually active) invited me over to her house after school. I got there early and knocked on the door and no one answered, but it was open. I go to her house all the time, so I walked in. To my surprise, I found her masturbating on her couch completely nude. She asked me if I wanted to masturbate too. So now we masturbate together regularly. (age 16)

A lot of readers would say that's a happy ending, but technically you broke in to her house. You're a masturburglar!

On my 12th birthday I was masturbating. My parents came in right when I ejaculated, and they just closed their eyes and left. Later I heard them giggling. This was two weeks ago and I am worried they won't be able to look at me the same.

They were probably not giggling about you. They are probably very happy for you. Just act the same as usual around them. Isn't that what they're doing around you?

I haven't been caught, but I caught my brother who's 20. He was in the living room on the computer looking at pictures. I accidentally walked in on him with his pants down to his ankles. It was awkward but, like me, I know he does it all he time. I've never said anything though. (female, age 16)

So you have the upper hand? Good for you. I think you handled it right.

I'm in college and I've had the same boyfriend since I was about 15. One day he invited me over to his dorm which is a single, and when I got there, to my surprise, he was masturbating on his couch. He said "Wanna join?" I was really hesitant but he convinced me. Now we do this all the time since it's more intimate than kissing but not as huge a step as sexual intercourse. By the way, he later explained to me that he hadn't planned to be walked in on, he just forgot and he said the first thing that came to mind. (age 19)

And you believed him? I find it hard to believe that "wanna join" would be his first thought if he hadn't planned on being caught. Glad it worked out.

Does being seen by my dog count as being caught? Do animals know? My dog looks at me funny. It's weird. (age 18)

No. No. It's all in your head.

I am a girl from Europe. When I was 15, I was at a sleepover and in the adjoining room, the parents of my girlfriend had sex. There was much panting, moaning and other bed noises. I got very horny and didn?t know what to do. Finally I decided to join in some way. It was a hot summer night. So I started to rub my clitoris stark naked. When the couple had finished their lovemaking, I started to have my orgasm. But to my horror, the mom on the way to the bathroom opened the door and looked cautiously at me, as if I was sleeping well. It was too late for me to hide! It ruined my orgasm, and I was sleepless and gravely embarrassed. We both blushed several times at breakfast. (age 18)

You each caught the other.

I was about 14, and I had been masturbating, and I ejaculated all over the couch. While I was cleaning it up, I heard my mom approaching. I quickly threw out the tissue. She reached over to get something from her filing cabnet and her hand brushed the couch. I had missed a spot. She pulled her hand up and there was white stuff ALL over her hand. She asked me what it was and I said mucus from my nose. She just told me to clean it up and left. We never discussed it again. Do you think she figured it out? (age 16)

Yes, I do. She must have recognized the scent of fresh semen.

My aunt walked in on me masturbating late at night. It was 2 in the morning and she just giggled and said she was making sure I was still awake. I feel so embarrassed. What do I do? (age 15)

Don't do anything. She is more embarrassed than you.

I was 15 when my older sister walked into my bedroom while I was ejaculating. We made eye contact but it was too late to stop so I continued.and she left the room and we never talked about it. But I'm 35 now and it turns me on thinking about that day. Is this wrong? Do others do this?

Getting caught and the fear of getting caught can be exciting. I don't think it's wrong to fantasize about it.

My sister's friends caught me masturbating. We went over to their house so we could swim. While the girls were changing into their bathing suits, I stayed and waited. Suddenly I got an erection and a strong urge to masturbate. I took off my shorts and masturbated naked. When I was done, I sat in the living room. Then the girls came out of the bathroom and gasped! My penis was wet at the top from ejaculation. I quickly grabbed my towel and I was just in panic! I couldn't remember where I left my swimming trunks. We talked about it last week and had a good laugh. I am so relieved. (age 14)

I doubt they noticed the semen on your penis. They were probably just shocked to see a penis at all. Once again you point out the dangers of masturbating where there is insufficient privacy.

This is just some advice. I usually masturbate after I get out of the shower or decide to change so that I can say that I locked my door so I could undress. (female, age 12)

I think that's pretty good advice.

I was masturbating in a room that had a sliding glass door and after I finished I was shocked to find that my girl cousin was watching me. We haven't said anything to each other about the incident. Do you think I should tell her to not tell anybody? (age 16)

I think if she were going to say anything, she would have by now. Don't worry about it, and I don't think you need to discuss it with her.

Years ago, I was on the couch masturbating and the radio was blasting. I had also turned on the air conditoner. So there I was moaning and groaning when my dad walked in! The only thing I could do was wipe my belly and cry. But it all ended well. Dad laughed so hard. It was humiliating but funny. That will never happen again. (age 30)


Lately I've been feeling pretty down because I started masturbation so late. I've always been late when it comes to all things sexual. I know people who have started years before me. Your site says that half of males masturabate before their 13th birthday, and that was really suprising, since I only found out about it a couple months ago. I'm starting to feel the same way about sex, since I've never been in a relationship, and everyone keeps talking about it and now my parents are even asking me about masturbation and relationships. Whenever I tell them I'm not in a relationship, they look at me like I'm crazy. I'm honestly not rushing to have sex, but I don't want to remain a virgin forever. (It seems like people treat you like a freak if you don't have sex beyond a certain age). What's the average age most people have sex? (age 16)

I think you're doing OK for 16. I didn't start masturbating until I was almost 16. My guess would be less than half of the people your age have had sex. Don't worry about what you have or haven't done until now (or until recently) and try to go out with some girls before you're finished with school.

Thank you so much for this great web site. I got caught masturbating (prone) once by my sister. She just said "ewwww" and went to her room. I am now trying to stop doing it face down. My mom is a really devout Christian. My sister got in very big trouble for masturbating when she was five or six. What should I do if she ever asks me about it or catches me?

You might do very well to avoid answering or at least not to lie. I doubt she'll ask. If you feel like speaking up, you might tell her that all Christian men masturbate as do a considerable number of Christian women.

One day I was masturbating, and I forgot to lock the door. My sister came in and saw me. I was embarrassed and wanted to kill myself. I didn't have the courage to go out of my room right away, but when I did she was acting normal. (age 14)

Once again, it shows that the best strategy in that situation is not to say anything. She was probably embarrassed too.

I'm staying at my friend's house while my parents are out of town. I hadn't whacked off in a day or two, so I decided to masturbate in his bathroom. I was close to orgasm, and he walked in. He didn't say anything. He just got something and walked out. It wouldn't have been so bad, but I have a really small penis (3 and a quarter inches). I'm really embarrassed. I don't want him to tell anybody about my being small, so how do I talk to him? (age 16)

Maybe to him you are big? I doubt he would say anything. I don't think you need to say anything about it. He handled it well.

I come from a very religious family, and I'm afraid I might get caught masturbating, and if I do get caught I don't know what I'll do!! (age 14)

It might not be as bad as you expect. You could make the case that masturbation is normal and healthy, but it might be better if you didn't say anything. Only about 55 percent of males ever get discovered.

Today my mom walked in on me while I was masturbating. I was scared to death, but she said sorry. Afterward, she said not to worry, that it's normal and she bought me a doorknob that locks. (age 14)

Now make a habit of locking the doorknob whenever you're in the room or people will assume that you're masturbating whenever it's locked.

A few days ago my aunt suspected I was doing the deed, and most likely it's because she knows. She told me that she knows what guys my age do. Now I'm really worried that she knows and might try to catch me red-handed some day. How do I find out if she really does know? (age 15)

I don't think you have to say anything. Just tell her it's none of her business.

I masturbate regularly but I'm scared that my parents know. I get white stains on my bed that are actually dribble but I'm scared my mom will think it's cum and I'm really embarrassed. (age 13)

You don't need to be embarrassed or worried about your parents. It doesn't matter whether the stains are caused by dribble or ejaculation. They will come out with shaving cream.

Every time I start masturbating, I keep hearing noises outside my bedroom as if someone is waiting outside or looking through the keyhole. What should I do? (age 13)

I think you're just being paranoid. There is no reason to be guilty about masturbating. You should feel relaxed in the privacy of your bedroom. If your keyhole is really that big, you can always plug it with cotton or toilet paper. There is no key for it anyway, right?

I like to masturbate in bed but I sometimes leave stains on my sheets. Once my sister who is 22 crept into my bed and saw the stains and just went "eeww," and she teases me every time I take my sheets to the laundry. What does this mean? (age 14)

I don't think your sister is very mature. It might be better if you didn't say anything about it and just let her get tired of teasing you. If it bothers you, you could point out that stains on sheets can result not just from masturbation but also from wet dreams, and this is akin to her getting a little menstrual blood on her sheets. It might also be a good practice for you to learn how not to get semen on your sheets or to clean it up right away if you do.

I have always been worried about getting caught by my mom. I started when I was 12. I almost always use the Internet when I masturbate, but I have to run a network cable down the hall, past my parents' room, so they see it very easily. I don't have a lock, so I put a box in front of the door. My mom has walked in 3 times, but she has never seen me. She doesn't know that I masturbate. She told me to stop putting stuff in front of the door. How do I get privacy, or what do I tell her to let me have my own privacy? I can't get a lock on my door. (age 16)

Just tell her to knock when your door is closed. That's only civil. I suggest you stop using the Internet that way, since it weakens the credibility of your privacy argument. A lot of guys use the Internet in another room to get warmed up and then move to the bedroom when they're ready for actual motion.

I have never been caught before, but I know it's going to happen sooner or later. I know that if I get caught, they will make fun of me. The door to my room is messed up, so I have no way to do it without worrying about someone coming in at some random time. (age 16)

It isn't inevitable. In a survey I conducted, 40 percent of males have never been discovered. You could try blocking the door with something heavy so you would have at least 1 second to react if someone opened the door.

I was once masturbating, when I heard my mom shouting, "Why are the curtains closed?" I was panic stricken, and struggled to get my clothes on. My voice was shaking. I was so afraid. Finally she came in, with me poorly dressed. I think that she knew what I was doing, but she hasn't said anything since. I am worried that she knows and what she thinks. Would should I do? (age 13)

Don't worry about it. I'm sure she understands.

Great site, man, totally unbelivable! I got caught masturbating by my girlfriend. She saw me the entire time and I had no idea she was there. I was mortified. I was all blue in the face.. I was about to faint out of embarrassment! She was watching me through the door. She laughed and then went downstairs so I finished! When I came downstairs a half hour later she said it's OK so don't worry about it. My face was all red! Mother catching you is nothing compared to the embarrassment of your girlfriend catching you! (age 18)

Hmmm... I can understand why you'd WANT her to "catch" you so it could lead to something else. You're lucky she's cool about it, but not so lucky that she would spy on you. Maybe you need a new girlfriend.

I admit I sometimes masturbate while reading HealthyStrokes.com. My mom started knocking when I was on my computer and had been masturbating. I let her in and she was suspicious. She then noticed that the computer was on and she asked me if I was looking at bad things. I just said no. Next, I used the bathroom to clean my penis. When I came out she said I looked guilty. I still think my mom believes I was watching porn. I wasn't. I was doing a natural thing, but she doesn't know that. Do you think I covinced her that I did nothing wrong? (age 12)

You were truthful about not using porn, but you were acting guilty because you were embarrassed about masturbating. If she doesn't want you to look at porn, it is better if you don't, especially at your age. I suspect your mother wouldn't object to your masturbating without porn. You have nothing to be guilty of, but no one would blame you for acting strangely in that situation.

One night a friend was sleeping over and I woke up with a raging boner and I just had to get rid of it so I masturbated since he was sleeping. Then I think he saw me. What should I do? (age 16)

You should have gone to the bathroom and relieved your "raging boner" in private. But I don't think you should say anything since you're not even sure he saw you, and he didn't say anything about it.

I'm a 19 year old male who was caught by my mom masturbating while lying on the living room floor. She watched for a few seconds until I ejaculated and then told me that I should put a towel on the floor if I'm going to do that. I don't know what to think about that. Is that normal to be watched like that?

What's not normal is masturbating on the living room floor when you share the house with other people. Your mother was probably so shocked it took her those few seconds to think of what to say.

I was once almost caught by my sister, but she didn't open the door. Do you think she knows what I was doing? (age 13)

That's hard to say. She probably assumes you masturbate, but she might not have known you were doing it that very minute.

I was home alone so I thought it'd be safe to masturbate. I left my door open so I could hear if anyone came. I didn't until I heard my mom come in as I had my hand down my pants under a pillow and looking at porn. I'm a very self-conscious person and I don't think our relationship will ever be the same. (age 17)

Don't think anything of it. I don't think she did.

When I was 14, I was caught masturbating in the shower by my mom. She yelled that it was a bad thing to do. Now I'm 16 and I still feel bad about it, but I still masturbate. Could you give me advice?

She might have just been uptight about you getting semen in the shower. She probably accepts that you masturbate. There is no reason to worry about it. Just be careful to clean up after yourself.

I have not been discovered masturbating, but I have a fear of it. I only do it in the middle of the night when my father is asleep, and if I hear steps, I quickly return to a normal state. Do you have any advice that might help me keep from being caught? (age 14)

You ought to relax and not worry so much about being caught. It is keeping you from enjoying masturbation. If my page of stories about getting caught teaches anything, it is that it is not a big deal for the people it happens to.

My bedroom is in our basement and my parents are constantly coming down to do laundry so I can never find time to masturbate. There's really no other place I can do it because our bathrooms have a loud echo and I don't want to be heard. (age 13)

You will have to figure that one out. It would probably help if you could put something in front of your bedroom door that would make a lot of noise if someone came in. That would give you a few seconds to straighten up. You are probably not as loud as you imagine.

My brother's girlfriend walked in on my masturbating, and I have no clue what to do. (age 17)

Don't do anything. Maybe someday she will want you to keep a secret for her.

When I masturbate in my room I lie in my bed and have the covers almost all the way over me so I can cover quickly without anyone seeing if they come in. My 19-year-old brother has walked in repeatedly and I don't know if he has a clue what I was doing. (age 15)

He knew what you were doing. I promise.

Over the past few weeks my 10-year-old brother has been sleeping in my room. This interferes with my masturbation regimen and I am often easily annoyed at night. How can I get rid of him without hurting his feelings but not revealing the truth? I'm afraid he might wake up one night and catch me. (I always wait till he's asleep.) (age 15)

I think you'll have to tell him you want to be alone in your own room at night. He ought to understand, even if he knows nothing of masturbating. Tell him you'll see him in the morning.

I was near orgasm when suddenly my mom burst into my room to say goodnight. I had a blanket over me, but I am 80% sure she knew what I was doing right then. Now, every night before I go to bed, she has this look on her face knowing exactly what I'm going to do. I'd lock my door but my mom says no one is allowed to do so. Now I'm nervous at night thinking of her knowing I'm masturbating. (age 14)

I don't think you should worry about what she might think. If anything, she will be more careful about barging in on you now.

One day I was looking at a Playboy magazine and I stared to masturbate and my mom walked in and said sorry. I was so upset that I got caught. After an hour I went downstairs and my mom told me that it was OK and she asked me if I wanted her to buy me some magazines.

Wasn't that a happy ending?

My dad caught me masturbating. My music was loud and he needed my soldering iron. He saw me, but said "HEY!" loudly, and I pulled my pants up and got it for him. He didn't say anything about me masturbating. What should I do? (age 16)

You don't need to do anything. If he didn't need the soldering iron, you wouldn't even have known he was there.

I had to sleep on my mom's bed one night, and ended up having a wet dream. Will she have found out? (age 16)

Probably not.

One night I was masturbating and had my pants off but I ended up falling asleep. The next morning when my mom came to wake me up she saw me asleep with no pants on and smiled because she knew what I had been doing. (age 16)

So tell her you were changing clothes when you suddenly fell asleep.

I went to my girlfriends house after school and used her bathroom. I masturbated with the door closed. She walked in on me. Now we are too embarrassed to talk to each other. What should I do? (age 14)

It's been over two weeks, so just talk to her as if nothing had happened. But don't be surprised if she's still embarrassed. Like I always say, it's risky to masturbate anyplace other than your own private space.

What should I do if my little brother finds me masturbating. He's the kind of little brother who tells your mom and dad about what you did, and he might tell my friends too. How can I know if my parents already know I do? (age 15)

Your parents and your friends probably already assume you masturbate, so your little brother does not have much power in that regard.

Before I turned 16, my sister walked in on me while I was masturbating at the computer. She uses this against me when I have my friends in the house by telling them about it and reminding them about it everytime they come over. I'm kind of embarrassed that my friends know this. Now every time on the phone I say "I got to go do something" and its at night, my buddy says "you gonna go beat off now?" Do know what I can do? (age 16)

Just tell the friend, "Absolutely!" and don't say anything more about it to your sister and she will outgrow telling people about it.

How do you people get caught? It's so easy to avoid: Only masturbate when no one else is in the house or at night when everyone is asleep or in a place where you can keep tabs on everyone in the house. if someone gets close, pull your pants on and act naturally. You can resume masturbating when that person is safely out of range. (age 19)

Your rules are not that easy to follow. When masturbating becomes a daily habit, as it is for most young males and more than a few females, one will not want to wait until the house is empty or everyone else is asleep. It is also very difficult to "keep tabs on everyone in the house" while concentrating on having an orgasm. So most people get discovered at least once. A locked door is the best defense.

I got caught tonight. When I go to bed I never want to wake up! How am I going to look at my mom's face tomorrow? (age 17)

Just go on as if nothing happened. I bet that's what she'll do.

I was caught masturbating by my 19 year old sister last week and my pants were down. I was too busy pulling my pants up that I forgot to exit out of all of the web sites I was on. She looked at the computer screen and went and got what she wanted from the room as if she didn't even notice. Then she just walked out without saying anything. (age 15)

That's the best you can hope for in that situation. You don't need to say anything either.

My mom caught me masturbating to porn one day and she told me not to do it and just left. A few days later she got me a nude magazine and said it was OK. Do you think she was saying don't watch porn? (age 14)

Yes, definitely. She obviously approves of you masturbating using the magazine of her choosing.

I was sleeping over at my friend's house and it was about 10:30. I got an extreme erection so I started to masturbate. Soon he said, "are you done yet?" I was so embarrassed. He said I could finish and he wouldn't look, so I finished and went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, I found him masturbating. I haven't really talked to him since. What should I do? (age 16)

You caught each other. So you're even. You like to masturbate at night, and he likes to masturbate in the morning. I think you should talk to him and be friends again.

I was lying on the top bunk of my bed and got an urge to masturbate, so I started masturbating. Then my muo said, "if you're going to do that, then I will leave the room." It was definitely the most embarrassing moment of my life. (age 15)

The most embarrassing moment of your life so far.

I was masturbating one day when my older sister walked in. She said, "oh, I'm sorry," and shut the door. (female, age 13)

Looks like a lot of my readers would wish they had your sister.

My dad caught me one night but didn't say anything. Next morning I waited for him to go to work before I left my room and my mom told me she knew what happened and it's OK. She said dad still saw me as his little girl but had to face up to the fact that I was getting older. Within 2 days, my room and bathroom had locks. (age 12)

What a great mom and dad you have!

When I was 7, my sister and I shared a room. Once, for some reason, my dad slept in my sister's bed and when I woke up, I was masturbating. My dad was awake and asked me what I was doing. I said, "nothing." Did he actually know what I was doing? (female, age 22)

I suspect he did.

I was masturbating under my covers with the lamp on one night when my mom walked in without knocking. I scrambled to get my pants back on and the light off in time. I am not sure if she saw, but do you think she knows? She didn't say anything, and I was pretty good at hiding under the covers. But I think she suspects something but I don't think she knows what masturbation is. Are there adults that don't know what it means? (age 16)

Of course she knows what it is. I doubt very many adults are unfamiliar with the concept. She probably suspected something because of the speed at which you moved to cover up.

I was once in the bathroom and JUST before I ejaculated, my mom came in to get some clothes out of the hamper. I tried to cover the semen but it was all over. She told me to clean up. Do you think she knew the entire time? (age 12)

Yes, absolutely she did.

I was visiting my aunt when I was 15. One night I was masturbating in her bathroom and she walked in completely naked to get in the shower. She just froze for a second, apologized, and walked out. I still feel embarrassed when I see her. Should I? (age 19)

No. You were both embarrassed, but it should have been over that minute. There is no reason to still be embarrassed four years later.

One day I was masturbating while watching TV. Suddenly my sister's friend walked in to get her coat. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop so she saw it all. She smiled while getting her coat and looked at me the whole time. I feel weird now because she is always at my house and wants to hang out with me. She always talks to me during class. I thank her for not telling my sister. (age 13)

She likes you! You should be happy. Don't focus on what happened that day. Just be glad it helped you get someplace good.

I regularly masturbate in the shower with my mom's myriad of soaps. Do you think she will notice the bottles emptying faster?

Only the ones she cares about. Most of them are probably there because she used them a few times but doesn't feel right about throwing them away.

I just recently got caught masturbating by my little brother (age 12), and I feel really embarrassed. We share the same room. What should I do? (age 18)

He has probably recently started masturbating or will in the next year, and he is probably relieved to know that you do it too. So you might think of what happened as helping him. I don't think you need to say anything.

While my parents were gone I decided to masturbate in my living room. About half-way I looked up and out my window, and I saw a girl I know looking at me. I was so embarrassed I couldn't move. She was just walking by and saw me and she was smiling. Now whenever I see her, she giggles at me. Will she stop eventually? (age 14)

I think so. Maybe you should ask her out to the movies.

I live with my uncle and my two girl twin cousins who are 16. My cousins had a pool party and from the 2nd story of my house I could see all the girls in their bikinis. I started to masturbate and one of my cousins walked in on me. She told my uncle, but my uncle was proud of me. Is it normal for a father to be proud of a son for masturbating? (age 13)

He might be proud that you are growing up, but I think his first reaction would be horror that you were masturbating while watching his daughters and their friends. He might be even prouder if you would learn to control yourself -- no more masturbating while watching out the windows.

I was masturbating last night through my underwear, and my mom walked in and cauht me. She said "Oh, sorry" and left. I was SO embarrassed. I nearly cried, and my mom came in later and we talked about it. (female, age 10)

It's good that your mom understands.

My 19 year old sister walked in on me in the living room when I was finishing up masturbating while watching a porno vid and I couldn't stop myself from ejaculating. She is an irritable person and I thought she would be mad, but all she did was laugh and leave without a word. What does that mean? (age 13)

It means she is cool with it. Congratulations on having such an understanding sister who is old enough to get you anything you need.

I was about 12 and shared a room with 3 other brothers so when I had to masturbate one day, I was in my parents' room and my mother came in to put laundry away. I said I was changing and she shut the door, but I realized that I had no clothes in the room and I had to run out of the room naked. Having older brothers, I'm sure she knew what was going on, but she never said anything about it, to my relief. (age 45)

I think it would be much better to be caught by an older brother than by your mother.

My mom just walked in on me yesterday. I covered up, but she was just talking to me about sex. I felt mortified because I think she saw me. Do you think she knows I've been masturbating? (male, age 16)

Yes, she does.

My mom walked in on me one day. She just walked out and said nothing after staring at me for a second. Yesterday, I was just about ready to ejaculate, and she walked in just as it shot all over my stomach. She saw the yellow stains on my underwear and everything. What should I do? (age 16)

You already know the answer because it happened before. She didn't say anything then. She won't say anything now. It might be a good time to put a lock on your door. She would probably readily agree to that.

I have quite a funny story. It was near the end of a 9 week school vacation. I desided to pay my friend a surprise visit. His parents said he was upstairs in his room playing a game called WarHammer. I walked in without knocking (the stupidest idea of my life) and I shouted "SURPRISE!!" He was masturbating on his bedroom floor. I giggled. In shock, he pulled up his pants. I sat on his bed and said, "it's OK; its normal." He sat next to me and was surprised that I didn't mind. "No, of course I don't. I do it too." I apologized for barging in. He invited me to stay. Two weeks later, my mom invited him to stay while his parents were out of town. He knocked while I was masturbating, but I had music on way too loud and he thought I said come in, but I didn't, so when he saw me sprawled out on my bed masturbating, he just said "we're even now" and laughed. I thought it was pretty funny too, so I laughed and got dressed, and we are going out as a couple now. (age 15)

That's a wild story. I wonder what the chances are of you catching each other masturbating within two weeks? Now I suppose when someone asks what you're doing, you tell them you're playing WarHammer.

I was in my dad's office and thought he was going to be gone for a while when he discovered me masturbating with a vibrator. It's so embarrassing and I don't know how to handle it. Plus I'm a girl so that makes it 1 million times more embarrassing than for a guy. (age 16)

I don't think it is more embarrassing for a girl than for a guy. Be glad it was only your dad who caught you and not someone else who works there. It might help for you to apologize for behaving in that way at his office. I'm sure he understands that it's normal for you to masturbate and will not bring it up again.

My girlfriend of 5 years and I live together, but we aren't married and are very religious. We have separate beds in the same room and have only had sex seven times over the course of our relationship. One day, when I was under the impression that she would be shopping all day long, I decided to strip down and masturbate on our couch. However, only 30 minutes after she left, she walked back in with her best friend Molly. My girlfriend quickly ushered Molly into the kitchen giggling. I quickly ran to the bathroom and washed my hands and re-dressed, only to find that they were gone. About three hours later, my girlfriend returned with a single pink bag. She ran into our bedroom without even acknowledging me and when she emerged, she was dressed in a sexy French maid outfit! We roleplayed and made love for a good two hours that evening. The only thing better would have been a threesome with Molly. (age 22)

I occasionally let stories like this onto HealthyStrokes.com, but I can't help but thinking that this one is a lie. If you are very religious, why are you not married after five years, and why are you living together, having sex at all, or wanting a threesome? And why would she usher Molly into the kitchen instead of out of the apartment?

I have a fraternal twin brother. We have a much better relationship than most bro-sis twin pairs that we know (we frequent twin conventions!). However, we never discussed masturbation around each other; for obvious reasons of privacy. The other day I was under the impression that no one was home and I decided to masturbate with my two toys. I was masturbating on the couch in our basement and I had already orgasmed twice and was about to a third time when my brother walked in. I didn't notice him at first, but from the deer-in-the-headlights look on his face, I'd say he was EXTREMELY freaked out! After about 30 seconds of sheer silence, he said: "I gotta go" and bolted upstairs. I finished up and waited a few miniutes for him to mellow out. Then we had a very successful talk about it. I'm still embarrassed that he had to see me like that and not just using my hands. (age 16)

He is probably very relieved that you were able to discuss it.

Follow-up from another reader: I too share a similar situation to you. I was caught masturbating at age 15 by my fraternal twin sister, and by that point we had each been masturbating for over three years, and although the subject had come up once or twice in a joke, we never really addressed it to one another. I was upstairs in my bedroom masturbating with the door closed on a day when only she and I were home. She burst in without even knocking and I ejaculated right then and there, all over myself. She didn't immediately leave. She was shocked! After a few days, maybe a week, we finally talked about it, and became very comfortable with each other's masturbation. We began covering for one another so that we could masturbate more often, i.e., when our parents were home. I also caught her later that year masturbating with a large vibrator, so we were pretty much even. (age 19)

How nice to see the twins getting along.

I've been caught masturbating on three separate occasions because I'm not allowed a lock on my door. Whenever my mom knocks, she just comes in without waiting for an answer. I've asked her nicely for a lock and she just says "Ha! No way!" What can I do? (age 16)

You can either masturbate in a room that has a lock, wait until after she goes to bed, or keep getting caught.

I have been masturbating for many years now and have had a few close calls with being caught. However, today I was completely naked on the sofa masturbating when my mom was asleep. Suddenly I heard her coming down the stairs. I didn't have time to get dressed, so I ran out the back door. She saw me leave and decided to follow to see what was wrong. I said I think there is a stray cat in our garden while trying to put my clothes on. She caught up with me just as I was doing my trousers up and went back inside the house. I am really nevous what will happen tomorrow as we are not very close and I feel extremely awkward. Do you think she will want to confront me about it? (age 17)

No. She probably knows or at least strongly suspects you have been masturbating for years. Just be more careful when masturbating in public rooms of your house or don't do it there at all.

The other day my dad almost caught me masturbating in my bed. I turned away just before he walked in and asked what I was doing. Do you think that he knew I was masturbating? (age 12)

Yes, I think there is a very good chance of that.

Reading this page is very shocking to me. It seems almost ALL of your stories are folks getting caught and parents apologizing, saying nothing or even saying it's normal, and the one mom giving her kid lube, a mag and a lock on the door floors me. Lucky kid. My parents gave me a spanking when they caught me and said only perverts masturbate and that is was a sin and a form of homosexuality and I would burn in hell if I didn't stop. I am grown now and no longer even a Christan and I do not feel guilty any longer and now I know that masturbation is normal, but after seeing your site's stories and questions on folks being caught, I have to ask, are my folks just freaks from the Bible belt, or do you intentionality leave out stories of people getting caught and having negative reactions? I didn't see even one story like mine, where the person got in trouble. It makes me wonder if maybe my experience was very rare and abnormal? When I was a kid, I thought I was a pervert and masturbating was my deepest secret and filled me with shame and I thought only perverts did it. My parents busting me and their reaction only made things much worse. Surely I am not the only one that went through this. I would think at least one other person would have a similar story that made it to your page.

No, I have not censored stories like that, although I don't run every "getting caught" story I receive, because as you might have noticed, they get repetitive. Although getting discovered is a fairly common experience, it is apparently not very traumatic, because I was writing this site for more than two years before I got my first question about being caught. Most parents do not have attitudes about masturbation as negative as yours (although keep in mind that the parents of most of the people who write to my site came of age after the sexual revolution). I have to say thay your experience was exceedingly uncommon. The vast majority of people who get caught by parents hear nothing from them about it, and those who do get the "it's OK to masturbate" speech that several writers above mentioned. And many have written that parents gave them lube, magazines, locks on their door, and other things to enhance the masturbation experience.

I've been masturbating since I was 12 but I haven't been caught masturbating yet but I'm pretty scared about that. My parents are really religious and more than strict. They don't let me have a boyfriend and they completely flip out when I talk to a guy. They won't be at all OK with the fact that I masturbate. I'm pretty sure that they don't and never have because of how our culture works. I don't know what I'll do if I get caught one day. My parents will totally flip out. I'm really jealous of all the people on here who got caught by understanding parents. You guys are so LUCKY and your parents are really cool. (age 20)

You don't say what culture you're from, but around here, at age 20, it is your choice whether you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and what you do with them, to say nothing of what you do in your own private moments. There was a time when a large percentage of females were married by age 20. Perhaps it would be good if you did not spend so much time worrying about what your parents think.

I masturbate pretty regularly, every day or two. In the drawer next to my desk, I keep a washcloth in which I ejaculate. My mom started to clean up my room, and she found it. I looked in the dirty laundry and saw it. You could tell there were stains on it. I don't know if she noticed, but I'm scared if she did, she will be really mad at me. What should I do? (age 12)

You don't need to do anything. If she noticed, she knows it's normal and won't say anything. It might be that you could take more initiative in keeping your room clean, so she won't feel she needs to do anything.

I was masturbating in my room and I had just finished when my stepmother walked in telling me to do some revision. I was caught with my trousers and belt un-done. While walking I had to hold up my trousers, and she asked, "why the hell are your trousers down?" I replied, "I went to the toilet." She asked, "why didn't you do them up then?" I stupidly said "I was in a hurry." She shut the door. Later she came back to say, "you were playing with yourself, weren't you?" I tried to lie and say I wasn't but she knew I was and said "next time I catch you, I'll chop your bloody hands off." She wasn't very happy. (age 16)

Don't let it get you down. Thanks for telling us that evil stepmothers aren't only in Cinderella.

Yesterday my girlfriend came over to my house. I started to get horny since it was the first time we were alone at my house. Then she teased me, siting on my lap. Then I really got big. I'm sure she felt it. I excused myself and went to the bathroom to give it a quick jerk, and just as I reached my climax, she walked in on me and I ejaculated on myself. Apparently the door was ajar. She just watched and blushed. We haven't talked since then. I just don't know what to say to her at all. (age 15)

Tell her she made you very excited sexually and you had to go do something about it so that you could relax and enjoy being with her. Why not tell her that? It's the truth.

About a year ago, I was masturbating in the computer room. I was just starting to ejaculate when I heard my dad. I quickly covered up and he started asking me questions about something else. Do you think he knows? (age 14)

Yes, I do.

I've never been caught but I am afraid because my parents don't support that kind of thing (I don't think). I usually masturbate in the shower so my parents don't find out. I am afraid that one day I am going to be masturbating in my room or something and they will walk in. I don't know what they will think and say about it. (age 14)

It probably won't happen. Less than half of males are discovered by parents. They will probably be fine with it.

A couple of days ago I decided to masturbate while on the Internet with headphones on. I thought my mom was sleeping and she was until my golden retriever was pawing at my door which was locked, but I did not hear my dog. Mom got up and unlocked the door with a pin and caught me in the act. She was shocked but then she left, and then a hour later she asked If I wanted to go to the batting cages. She has not said anything since. I felt mortified. Weird way to get caught with the door locked, and I was very unhappy with my dog after. I think my dog felt sorry for me because she kept looking at me weird. (age 17)

You are giving the dog too much credit and your mother too little. She was obviously happy to get back to normal within an hour. Thanks for warning my readers about the perils of headphones.

I've been masturbating for a few years now and I've been caught twice. Both times were at night, when my mom was wondering if I was awake. I lock my door occasionally but it's easy to get past with a screwdriver so do it in the bathroom. At this point I'm very envious of the people who end up with a better relationship or a new relationship. And now I'm sad. (age 16)

If you've been caught twice, you should not be as worried about getting caught a third time. You will probably not be living there much longer, so don't make a big deal about it.

I was sick all week, coughing and congested and stuff. A few days later my mom came in my room and asked me what the tissues under my bed were from. I told her it was from me blowing my nose, but, unfortunately I don't throw the tissues away as often as I should (there were about 30). Do you think she believes me or do you think she knows what they were really from? (age 15)

I doubt she did any investigating even if she didn't believe you. Let it be a lesson to get rid of the evidence promptly.

I just got caught by my dad but I don't think he saw me. I had just finished and was putting my underwear on when he came in without his glasses and his eyes half closed and said, "it's too late to be watching tv" and turned it off and walked out. Do you think he saw me? (age 12)

No, I don't. You got away with it again!

I have been caught by my stepsister and she was fine about me masturbating, but I am terrified about what my mom will think about it. (She has almost caught me.) I have been doing it since I was 11. I want to tell my mom so I don't have to hide it anymore. I would rather tell her than be caught. How do you think I should go about it? (age 14)

There is no reason to tell her. Telling her won't make her any less likely to catch her. She would probably be as embarrassed if you volunteered this information to her than if she caught you herself. You really just need to accept masturbation as something normal, healthy, and fun that all males do when they grow up.

My sister walked in on me masturbating. She is 21 and I was so embarrassed, but she told me not to be because she masturbates too. (male, age 14)

What a great sister!

I was masturbating rather loudly in my room last night and I have sliding doors. I have no lock. My mom went into the laundry room, at 2 in the morning and she asked, "Lauren, are you OK?" And I couldn't say anything but, "Yes. Just pulling out a splinter." I feel really embarrassed. (age 16)

All of us should make a note of that line.

I was 12 at the time, I was in my room, and I had the TV when I started to masturbate. I forgot that I was supposed to take the trash out that night. My mom walked in on me. I pulled my pants up really fast. I know she saw me, but she hasn't said a thing about it. I have a lock on my door now. (age 13)

She won't say anything now. Obviously she knew what you were doing. Perhaps make a note on your calendar for when trash day is coming. I do that for a completely different reason.

I wasn't caught masturbating, but I was caught having HealthyStrokes.com in my favorite web sites! I don't think my mom cares, though. And thanks for a great web site! (age 12)

You're one of my favorites too!

I rarely close my door, so I figure that if my door is closed, it is obvious to my parents and brother that I am masturbating, so I always leave the door open when masturbating. I have almost been caught on numerous occasions, but this time I think I was caught. My dad was coming into my room and I didn't hear him, then when I saw him out of the corner of my eye, I covered my penis with my laptop. He came in and said "goodnight" and gave me a high five (which he always does). I left the porn on my computer, because I forgot to X it out, but I don't think he saw it, because the laptop was facing me, not him. I'm really scared to be around him, but your web site has really made me feel better. If things get awkward between us, what should I do? Should I wait until we get over the shock? Do you think he even know what I was doing? (age 14)

You seem to be worried about nothing. If your dad saw, he obviously didn't think it was important to say anything. If he didn't see, then you got away with it. It would help to conceal what you are doing by closing your door frequently. Then you aren't calling attention to the few times it's closed. If you want a plausible story, tell them it is important to keep the door closed to maximize fire safety. (It's true. It takes fire time to burn through a closed door, but it can bridge an open doorway instantly.) Same thing if you have a lock on your door. Lock it always, and if anyone asks why, tell them it's a reflex to lock the door whenever you close it. Protects against burglars and other intruders.

I was caught masturbating by my brother the other night and I was mortified! It's been really awkward around him since. I act normal as if nothing happened but he hasn't been acting the same. Should I just leave it alone and not care? (age 14)

It is probably in your head. He didn't say anything about it and neither should you. Just be cool.

Every summer my mom and I go to Georgia to visit my aunt, uncle, and cousin for 2 weeks. I stayed in my cousin's room and she's 2 years older than me. After 2 weeks of no masturbation I got really horny and I started watching porn on my laptop. Leslie walked up to me and put her hand on my shoulder and told me it's OK to masturbate and that she does it. I felt really good after that with her approval and had a really nice orgasm, and I was wondering if after an experience like that would you want her? (age 16)

Of course I would want her. If she's two years older than you, then she's legal, and ... oh, never mind. I think your question is whether you should want her. You ought to pursue girls who aren't your cousin. I also think your story is fishy, because if you had your own laptop with you, I don't know why you waited two weeks.

I got caught by my parents when we were in Denmark for the holidays. I was masturbating in the living room of our house when I heard someone knock on the picture window on the other side of the room. I opened my eyes and saw my parents staring at me. They were home two hours early. My mom asked me what I was doing and I said something like: 'Nothing... I was just...lying there...' My mom laughed. I was so embarrassed that I rarely looked into their faces or talked to them for a couple of days. (age 14)

You should have covered the window even if you thought they were not due. Lots of scandalous sexual things happen in Denmark!

I was masturbating under the covers of my bed, in my room. I heard my mom walking up the stairs so I acted like I was sleeping, and moved my hands so they were not down there. I told her I was resting and that I was tired. Do you think she knew what I was doing? (female, age 13)

Probably not, but the most suspicious thing was that you volunteered that you were resting. It is suspicious whenever someone offers an explanation for something that ought to be very obvious.

After reading some of these stories, I find that I need to masturbate, which I feel somewhat guilty about because stories of other people's experiences get me turned on. (age 15)

There is no reason to be guilty. People who submit stories here know what some people do while reading them.

Last night was awful. I have been masturbating since I was about 12 1/2. I usually masturbate in bed at night or in the shower. It was late last night and I had finished masturbating and was lying on my bed naked, with my semen all over my chest and stomach. I had fallen asleep. My mom saw my light on and just walked in to see what I was doing. She found out, as I was a mess and still partially erect. As I was asleep, I had no time to cover up. I haven't seen her this morning. What do I say to her? Can I just hide from her forever? (age 16)

Yes, that sounds awful, but I think she understood. There is no need to say anything. Just be normal.

I turned my TV to Sex TV to show it to my friend just for a laugh. We soon left but I forgot to turn off the TV. While we were at her house, I remembered, but I couldn't just go back to turn off the TV. When I got home my TV was off, so either my dad or my stepmom came into my room and saw what was on. What do I do? (female, age 14)

They obviously know that the channel is available in your household, so they are not in much of a position to complain about you watching it. They certainly are aware that you are curious about sex. There is probably no need to say anything about it. If they confront you, just tell them what you told me, but don't be surprised if that channel is not part of your cable package soon.

My dad caught me masturbating yesterday, and my mom last week. I have been masturbating since I was 13, and until now I have never been caught. My dad said he saw what I was doing and will knock whenever he comes in. My mom now knocks too, so I know she knows, but I am not bothered by this. They are great! (age 16)

Wow, you seem to have a lot of maturity. Most of my readers would be freaking out after being caught by both parents within a week. Hooray for you!

After football practice, I lifting weights. When I was done, I took a shower. I felt comfortable enough to shower naked because I was the only one there. I started to get hard, so I started masturbating. A female janitor (probably thinking know one was in) walked in and saw me. Then she left. When I came out of the locker room, she was waiting outside and told me not to ever do that in the school again. (age 16)

The laundry attendants at my junior high school always yelled and made quite a racket whenever they came into the boys' locker room. I tell males that it is always risky to masturbate outside of their private spaces, but I think the janitor was overstepping her authority by telling you never to masturbate in the school again.

My parents came home after an evening out to find me with my boxers around my ankles in front of the TV with my hand on my penis, and I was asleep after a vigorous masturbation session. What do I do now? My dad woke me up and I was completely mortified! (age 16)

Oops. I guess you just do a better job of keeping it private in the future. I don't think your dad will say anything about it, and you don't have to either.

I had just finished up and I had some stains on my shirt. When my mom asked me what it was, I said I blew my nose in my shirt. Do you think she knows? (age 15)

Yes. That was a pretty lame answer.

I'm glad I found this site. Yesterday my older brother (21) walked in on me masturbating in my room. He was totally cool with it and just said "sorry, dude" and quickly left; however, he did talk to me later and told me there was nothing wrong with doing it but he said try not to because it could affect me later? What does he mean? He would not explain to me he just said try not to for your own good? I thought there is nothing wrong with doing it. (age 15)

Now that you've found this site, you know that I don't there is anything wrong with doing it either. You ought to be happy that you're more accepting of masturbating than your older brother is. Perhaps you could point him to HealthyStrokes.com himself.

I have a female friend who I met in 5th grade. My mom and her mom are really close friends, too. She and I help each other in homework, talk about life and other funny random things. Now we are both 16 and are about to become juniors in high school. She is also very gorgeous. But yesterday, something happened. I wanted to visit her because because I was really bored. I brought her Pringles because we both like them. Her mom told me that she was in her room. When I walked in, I saw her lying on her bed naked and touching herself. I said "oh sorry" then I quickly closed the door and left. Her mom asked me what's wrong, and I said I forgot something important to do at my house. I was crying while walking home. She's my best friend, and now I don't know how we will end up. I was very embarrassed by what I have seen, even though I masturbate too. Her naked body still lingers in my mind. I'm still shaken, please help me. What should I do? (male, age 16)

I think there are two things you need to do. The first is to patch up with her that it was your fault for barging in and that you are very sorry. The second is to decide if you want to keep her as just a friend or make it something more. You seem to be very intimate with her, and you describe her as "very gorgeous." Maybe this is a good time to decide to move this to another level.

I got caught watching hardcore porn by my dad last night. He said that he thought Playboy was normal but I had to stop the hardcore stuff. He then took the Internet out of my room. Is this a normal reaction for him to have? (age 14)

Yes, I think it is.

I find it interesting that so many kids feel so awkward even after their parents make it clear that they are OK with it. I wish more parents would use my method. There are no locks on any inside door in my house. I told each of my kids when they were old enough what the rules of our house are. They are always to leave their doors open when they are not at home or when they did not want privacy. I told them that if they want privacy, whether it be for changing their clothes, or to masturbate or even just to have a private conversation with a friend, simply close the door. Their mother and I will never open a closed door. Emergencies excepted, we will knock and wait for them to open the door. This method has never failed us. (age 53)

I think most people prefer the active privacy that a lock provides to merely having to depend on an assurance that an unlocked door will not be opened. Your message also contains a lot of earmarks of controlling the children: "... my house," "I told each of my kids ...," "They are always to ..." Also, telling them they were free to close their doors to masturbate was no doubt shocking to them. A lock would let the user decide whether to use it or not, whereas your policy mandates a scheme that takes a lot of choice away from the user.

Yesterday when I got home from school, I went swimming and couldn't find my swimsuit so I went nude and everything was fine untill I got an erection (because I was thinking of a girl at my school). I got out of the pool and dried off and sat on the glider and started masturbating. My neighbor pulled into her driveway and saw me. She is 18 and I'm afraid she might tell my parents. What should I do? (age 16)

You could be in big trouble. I can't say this often enough: You are always asking for trouble when you masturbate outside of a private space. If she tells anyone, it will be her parents, not yours. Then the question will be, what will they do about it?

I was lying in bed one night and thinking about this guy at school I really like and before I knew it I had dropped my undies and was rubbing like crazy. I did it once, then waited for about another 5 minutes, then I went for it again. Unfortunately, the second before I orgasmed, my 13-year old sister walked in and I just couldn't stop at that moment. My sister just stood there and said, "Wow. You're good." I was so embarrassed but she said that she masturbated at least once every night. (age 12)

Now you have something you can talk about.

I think my family members suspect I masturbate because I hurry them to leave when I am going to be home by myself for a while. What should I do? (age 14)

Take your time and relax. Don't rush them. You wouldn't want them to rush you, would you?

Your site is SO helpful. I want to thank you for that. I''ve been masturbating regularly since early in 7th grade. I'm begining sophomore year now. When I first started, only a few weeks in, my younger sister (2 years my junior) caught me. Since then I've learned to be really careful. I now know that my mother has known for a while as she had no qualms about getting me a lock after the incident. I am very happy to have such an accepting mother.

There is a small window directly above my bed which has no blinds, but I've never even thought someone could see me through it. One night, a friend's mother drove me home quite late. My parents were sound asleep, so I took all my regular precautions and began to play with myself fully naked with all of my lights on. After I was finished, I began putting my bra back on, and I turned around and through the window above my bed, I saw that the lights in the highest room of the adjacent house shining through the window, and a shadowy figure ran out of sight and the lights flicked off. I was both scared and offended, but there was nothing I could do that night. The next morning, I approached my prime suspect as he was taking out the trash, a boy in my sister's grade. He sidesteppingly admitted that this was not the first time he had watched me; however, being both disgusted and flattered, I decided just to inform him that if he did it again, he would be very sorry. Just in case, I've positioned two boxes of tissue in front of the window to prevent this from happening again. (age 15)

That's quite a story. I guess you lived and learned. I used to have a window near my bed that I didn't worry about because you couldn't see any houses from it for quite a distance, but I suppose now I wouldn't do anything with the lights on and a window like that uncovered.

My brother who is 23 walked in on me when I was about to start masturbating. He just looked at me kinda funny and he said,"it's OK. I won't tell mom or dad." But ever since then my parents have looked and acted funny. What should I do? (age 13)

Nothing. It is in your head.

When I was about 17, I was babysitting for a longtime client, who happened to live next door to a friend of mine. After both of the kids had gone to bed, I felt bored and decided to masturbate in the kitchen. After a few miniutes, their home phone rang and my friend told me to close the blinds. I was mortified, but she, being a good friend, didn't inform the parents! (female, age 22)

I think I would have been mortified too.

One night my friend was over and we were watching movies with my parents. I started to get an erection so I told her I'd be right back and decided to masturbate in the bathroom. She walked in on me, stared, giggled, and walked out. This scared me half to death. She blushes sometimes and seems awkward whenever we're together even though we talked about it before the incident and know we do it. How do I talk to her about this? (age 15)

She perhaps is embarrassed because she walked in on you without knocking. She obviously has no problem with you masturbating. Just tell her it was no big deal that she walked in on you (even though maybe it was) and that you're willing to forget about it.

If it's not wrong, why do we say "I got caught"? (age 14)

Because it is embarrassing to be discovered masturbating, even if it isn't wrong or illegal.

I was masturbating on my bed at night and my mother came in and stared at me for a couple of seconds and walked out The next morning I forgot to clean my room and she goes, HOW DARE YOU! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! and then says WHY DON'T YOU GO MASTURBATE out the window. What should I do. (age 14, female)

It might be a good idea to do all that you are assigned to do so she will not have the chance of embarrassing you in front of people by pointing out things that you haven't done as agreed since you started masturbating. You run the risk of getting involved even deeper if you discuss it with her. Perhaps she is hoping to get a major rise out of you by embarrassing you about masturbating. This won't work if you're cool about masturbating. So be cool and this will blow over.

Once one of my friends dared me to masturbate completely naked at Sears girls underwear section. There was nobody there so I got my clothes off and started masturbating in a hidden corner. I thought I had everything in control, but suddenly a woman who worked in this department appeared and saw me. She was very angry. She told me to put my clothes on, but I just barely managed to put my bra and panties on when she took my hand and took me to the security office. So I was there just in my underwear walking in Sears. They phoned my parents and I'm grounded for one month. That was the most embarrassing moment of my life!!! (age 16)

?Ay, caramba! You could have gotten in worse trouble than that. Be glad they called your parents and not the police.

I am living with a host family overseas, and I am finding it very difficult to masturbate. My room is wall to wall with my host parents, and they often go to sleep very late, so it is usually only in the wee hours of the morning that I am able to indulge. I worry that their 8 year old son will walk in on me. I have read almost every page of your comments, especially those about being walked in on by family members and in the dorms, but I seriously don't think this situation applies here. I am not sure if it's just America or if kids are discovering things at MUCH earlier ages all around the world, but I don't think I am willing to take that chance. With the constant worry of all the things that could go wrong, I am finding it very difficult to relax. Do you have any suggestions that might be helpful? (age 16)

You should probably not worry so much about the boy. He would probably not even know what you were doing if he walked in. If he did, the parents would probably fault him more for not knocking than they would blame you for masturbating. If you are in Europe, I would worry about that even less. Europeans are much more open about sex than Americans.

Once a friend dared me to masturbate on my teacher's car. Just as I was ejaculating, he showed up and screamed. He called my parents and I was grounded for a month. (age 17)

It would have been safer to ejaculate in private and then put the ejaculate on the car window.

I just found your site and it's just great!! When I was 13, I was masturbating in my room upstairs totally naked, and my mom and my sister were in the kitchen, but suddenly the lights went out and I fell from my bed. My mom and sister went upstairs to see if I was OK. I heard them and started searching for my clothes but it was very dark and I just found my panties and socks when they entered. I thought that they couldn't see me but when they opened the door some sunlight came thru and I was spotted. Later that day my mom and I had a masturbation talk. (age 15)


I have been masturbating since the age of 13, and I usually do it under the covers completely naked. Once my mom came in and I didn't have time to pull on my pajama undies. She picked them up off the floor and said, "why aren't you wearing your bottoms?" and I said I was hot that night but I was out of breath and shaking. Do you think she knows? (age 14)

If she doesn't, she certainly should.

When I'm driving my car home I often feel the need to have a sexual release. I often take off my skirt and panties inside the car. When I have the urge for an orgasm I find a parking lot and start right there. Once I was doing that and a girl (she looked 14-15) got near my car and asked me where was a street. She then saw what I was doing and she just said "oops I'm sorry" and left. I was mortified because I was getting close to orgasm and I couldn't finish. Do you think she knew what I was doing? (age 18)

Absolutely she did. You should have gotten out of there fast before she told on you. Next time call me and I will find a private place for you to park.

My older brother (who is 17) walked into me masturbating. He said sorry and left and the next day while we were jogging, he told me he did it too! He also told me not to hesitate in talking about these issues with him. What do you think? I masturbate 4 times a day. Is that harmful? (age 16)

I think you're lucky your brother is on your side. Your frequency is quite high. I think you would enjoy it more if you didn't do it so much.

I was busy masturbating under the blanket and I was on the verge of achieving an orgasm. Just then my girlfriend turned up and saw me in an awkward position. She asked me what I was doing. Do you think she knows what I was doing? (age 16)

If you answered her truthfully, then she does. If you didn't answer her truthfully, then I think she still does, and that you lied.

I was masturbating and I fell asleep still in position. The next morning my mother asked why my hands were in my pants. I told her I was scratching my upper leg and I showed her a few scratch marks from when I fell a week ago. Then she gave me a weird look. Do you think I got away with it? (female, age 12)

No.

My entire family was gone on a weekend and I was gonna masturbate in my room to some Playboy mags but I don't have window blinds, so I went to my 16 year old sister's room (the best lighted area) and I masturbated and then I cleaned up and walked out. The next day my family got home and my sister went in her room.. I forgot to put my mags away! She walked into my room and was holding it and said what the %^&? and then she went downstairs to give them to my parents. For that entire week I didn't dare looking at my sister or parents. And still to this day I freak out on what happened. (age 14)

Yeah, that kind of thing can happen when a 14 year old gets left home alone for the weekend.

Once I was at school and I got really horny, so I slipped my hands into my panties and started rubbing. I got really wet and I began to climax and it was wonderful for a moment until I moaned really hard. I tried to hold it but it was too much for me. Some girls looked at me and saw my hand under my skirt. After the class I went to the bathroom and I cried and when I was returning to class one of those girls told me that she had an extra pair of panties that she could lend me. I then saw my skirt and saw it had a little wet spot. She told me that she did the same sometimes. (age 15)

That was quite a chance to take in class. I assume you sit in the back?

Yesterday I was taking a shower and I decided to masturbate and then my mom entered and saw me. She just got out and said sorry. Do you think she'll punish me? (female, age 14)

Why would she apologize and then punish you?

Why do these people who get caught naked just keep their clothes on? (age 15)

Apparently they enjoy masturbating nude more than they fear getting caught that way.

I've been masturbating for over a year and I've never been caught. The fear of being caught never occured to me. I always do it when I'm alone, in the bathroom with the door locked, or in my living room while my father is asleep. Don't be afraid to get caught and even if you do I'm pretty sure your parents will accept it. (age 15)

Yes, I have made those points quite often on this site, but I must point out that you have always been afraid of being caught. That is why you only do it under the circumstances you mentioned. Even if you didn't consciously acknowledge it, you internalized a routine of seeking maximum privacy for masturbation. And that is normal.

I was masturbating three days ago when my sister who is 14 came home early and barged in on me. After she caught me, she wouldn't speak to me, and the next day at school all her friends were laughing and whispering about me as I walked past. She's obviously told them all about it. I know it's normal but what can I do to make my sister realise that? (age 16)

Just relax and be cool about it. Don't act like you're afraid of her friends. Instead act like you know they know you masturbate and you're proud of it. They might start to think of you as a stud as a result of this, and you might even get some of them interested in dating you.

This summer I decided to do some masturbating using the cushions in the couch. My mom came home early and caught me in the living room doing it. I was so embarrassed, but she didn't say anything and just went to her room. Later that day she sat down with me and told me there was nothing wrong with masturbating as long as I did it in my room with the door locked, and she asked me not to use the couch like that again. (age 16)

That was a good lesson.

A few hours ago I was reading your site and I was just about to close it down and start masturbating when my mom came in. All she saw was words but I'm glad she didn't come in 5 minutes later. That would have been hilarious. (age 14)

Most guys wouldn't have thought it was very funny.

A couple of weeks ago I was masturbating in the shower and my sister walked in. I know she saw me because I saw her. She acted like she didn't see me and got what she needed. I lock the bathroom door now and I think she told my mom because I have a lot more privacy now. (age 13)

That is a happy ending.

I'm scared to ask for a lock on my door or anything in case my mom and dad get suspicious. I also think they won't take it too well if they catch me. They don't even knock before entering. And I will also try to stop watching porn and use my imagination, as suggested on the site. But how can I get some privacy without telling them what I do? I don't think they'll take it well if I say, although that would be better than getting caught I guess. I also have an older sister who could catch me too. What should I do? Thanks for the site! (age 12)

Wanting privacy, especially at your age, goes beyond masturbating. You could say that you get very involved in your phone conversations and video games and don't always notice when someone knocks right away. That is why you want a lock.

My mom walked in on me once. She quickly backed out of my room. The next day there was a box of Kleenex and some lube on my nightstand with a note to try to get most of it in the Kleenex. She signed the note with a smile face. (age 59)

She was very understanding. I once heard a story of a mother of multiple boys who left a note on the refrigerator that whoever masturbated in the bathroom that morning should clean it up. That mother was also understanding, but in a different way from yours.

Follow-up from another reader: My mom didn't exactly catch me masturbating, but one of my first ejaculations made a stain and I think she found it because a day or so later there was a box of Kleenex by my bed. There had never been one there before. The Kleenex was replaced whenever it ran out for the rest of the time I lived with them, and I never asked for it or said anything about it. (age 24)

More proof that there is more than one kind of understanding parent.

Follow-up from another reader: My older cousin told me how to masturbate,so I tried it. My bed made lots of noise but I thought my parents were asleep. I could not ejaculate. The next day my dad asked to speak to me in my room. I thought I was in trouble.I was shocked when he gave me a tube of K-Y Jelly and a box of Kleenex. He told me to relax and not feel guilty. I'm thankful for wonderful parents.

Sometimes being discovered can be good for you.

Once I started to masturbate in the middle of lunch at school in the girls' bathroom when I lost my panties (don't ask how, they vanished!) I put my skirt on and continued searching with no luck, and eventually I gave up and the day went well. On leaving school, my skirt blew up and everyone (teachers included) could see I was wearing absolutely nothing underneath! I don't think this qualifies as being caught masturbating but since that day boys have been asking me details about how I do masturbate, etc. What should I do to make it stop? (age 14)

I think telling them what you just told me would make you famous among your classmates, and not in a good way. So telling the truth is out. Your remaining choices are to lie or avoid answering. Telling them it's none of their business might shut them up or it might fuel rumors. A story that might quash the rumors is that you almost always wear underwear (which is true) but they got lost in the locker room after phy. ed. that day.

Once my sister caught me masturbating in my bed. I was with my panties on and very wet, and she entered my room and she saw everything. I orgasmed while she entered, and she went out of the room and told my mom. My mom was really cool about it and told me it was normal for girls. (age 14)

Better that your mom was cool and your sister was not than the other way around.

I was sitting in my bedroom at about 11:00 at night with my brand new laptop and no other lights on. I was watching some porn with earbuds in and started to rub my clitoris. I'm very good at keeping it quiet, so I was confident about not getting caught. I was getting close to my climax, when my new stepdad opened the door and told me to go to bed. The light of the laptop was shining on me, and I think he saw, but he hasn't given any indication. I feel a little awkward sometimes around him now. (age 15)

A new stepdad wouldn't. He would tell your mom. Just act normally around him, and perhaps ask your mom for a lock on your door. There is a very good chance she knows why you want one.

I was in my room, doing the deed, eyes shut and all caught up in the moment with the curtains wide open and I heard squeaky noises. i assumed it was the bed moving, but just as I was ejaculating, there was a knock at the door so I hurried down and saw that it was the window cleaner! He'd been and cleaned all the windows and saw me at it! I was mortified at first but he just laughed and winked at me so I laughed as well. (age 17)

I would have stopped at being mortified and not laughed.

I live at home with my mom, and one day while I was masturbating I must have left the door unlocked. She opened the door and caught me, apologized quickly, and then shut the door. The next day she came into my room and gave me a talk on masturbation. She told me all the stuff you'd expect to hear in one of those talks, like masturbating was normal and that stuff. I felt a lot more comfortable about masturbating after that, knowing my mom was supportive of it. (age 14)


I have been masturbating for a year now and I had never been caught until 3 days ago. I was in my room masturbating and my friend walked in on me and said, "Can I join you?" and I said, "No, I want to do this alone." Then he ran out and I have not spoken to him since. What should I do? (age 13)

I think you should talk to him just as you normally would and not make reference to the incident.

I have a neighbor who is a girl and she has been a good friend for many years. A few days ago I went to her house and her mother just told me that she was in her room. I went up and went in without knocking and saw her on her bed with a dildo and she was completely naked. I just said oops and left. I sat on her couch and then she came down and we watched TV without talking about it. I feel very awkward about it and I can't bring it up because I'm too embarrassed. What should I do? (age 16)

She hasn't brought it up either for the same reasons. I think you have already agreed not to talk about it.

When I was 14 I used to arrive home after school and most of the time there was nobody home because my parents were working. Once I arrived home and decided to masturbate, so I started by running naked to my room for my favorite bra and panties, because I love masturbating with them on. But that day I knew it was going to be completely diferent because I got a friend to buy me a vibrating dildo, so I was really excited about it. I started stroking thourgh my underwear, but I couldn't hold back any longer, and I tossed them to the floor and inserted the dildo into my vagina, and it was awesome. I was there on the floor when my mom and dad came into the room and caught me there having the most mindblowing orgasm of my life, moaning, panting, and almost crying. I opened my eyes and saw them by the door looking at me, and then my dad went away from my room and left me naked and alone with my mom. We had a talk and she told me that what I was doing was a sin and she made me promise never to do it again. Later that night I was so depressed that I decided to break that promise and masturbate, but I ended crying and orgasming at the same time with no pleasure at all!! Now I'm 15 and I forgot what my mom told me and I continue masturbating.

Well, that day was completely different, just as you predicted.

I was masturbating on my bed. I had my 18 year old sister's vibrator under my skirt when my mom walked in. I pulled my skirt down fast and left the vibrator in my vagina but since I didn't want to penetrate too much, when I stood up, it fell on the floor. My mother sat me down for "a talk." (age 14)

Why do I think your sister got one too?

Just yesterday I was caught masturbating by my boyfriend who is 19. He told me that he masturbates too, so I shouldn't be embarrassed, and that we can masturbate together anytime. I'm glad to know that he's so open and understanding about my masturbating, but I'm a little uncomfortable with masturbating with him. I don't know why I would feel this way, because we have had sex together for over 2 years, but isn't masturbation usually private? Thanks for this site. It's great. (age 17)

Lots of people feel the same way you do. Masturbation is usually private, and a pair of scholars named Bellis and Baker have a theory of why this is so. According to this theory, when someone sees you masturbate, they will conclude that you don't plan to have sex soon. Thus, being caught masturbating sends a signal to others -- possibly rivals and predators -- that you are without a partner. However, you would be less likely to feel embarrassed or threatened by your partner knowing you masturbate when you plan it together. Some people also maintain that having sex is just masturbating with other people added. It would be a better sign for your relationship if you were open to masturbating with him, but it is perfectly OK for you to decide you don't want to.

My high school's cheer squad needs 3 boys to help with lifts and such. Since sophomore year, I and two other guys (one of whom is admittedly gay, and the other is very suspicious) have done it. The cheerleaders are so hot, and sometimes we have to do lifts where we hold them upon the palm of their crotches with only a thin layer of leotard and a light pantie separating our hands from their genitals. Every practice, I get so horny, as they're usually just in tees and sportbras and sweatpants, and are all sweaty and wet. One day, after the two gay kids had left, I stuck behind - as I often do - to masturbate to the practices' "highlights," but that day, after about 5 minutes, one of the boys came back in with two cheerleaders, a freshman and a really hot junior (whom I was actually masturbating over) to "gossip," when they entered the remote locker room that I've felt so secure in masturbating in before. They all three looked right at me just as I had a massive ejaculation, and the floor around me was covered in my semen. I was greatly embarrassed, but the older two left at once and the freshman stuck around just long enough to compliment the size of my penis and the amount of semen I'd produced. This got me very excited and I was able to have another (albeit less satisfying) orgasm. (age 17)

I usually don't run stories like that, but you put a lot of work into it. Did you ask the freshman out yet?

One day I invited my girlfriend to chill at my house for a few hours. I started to masturbate because I forgot she was coming over. I was doing it in the family room which is right by the front door. She came in after knocking because the door was partly open and I pretended not to hear her come in. My plan failed miserably and we did not talk for a couple of days due to her embarrassment. I called her back a couple of days later to apologize for making her uncomfortable. She said it was OK and invited me to her house. I walked in on her lying completely naked and saying she had time to think and was open to try masturbating with me. I never would've gotten that idea if it wasn't for this site so thank you very much! (age 16)

OK...

I had just gotten home and went into the bathroom to take a shower, and I got a erection and started to masturbate. My mom walked in to give me a new towel, and she just dropped off the towel but I wasn't sure if she had seen me. But during dinner that night, she had too many glasses of wine (mainly because my dad is overseas) and started talking about masturbating and sex and if I ever needed something like magazines or a toy, I should just ask. I tried to avoid that conversation because I get really embarrassed about talking to my parents about that stuff. Do you think that conversation started because she saw me in the shower? Are there really toys for males? (age 15)

Yes, she definitely saw what you were doing. There are toys for males, but I strongly recommend against them.

I had a summer baseball game far away. My big brother who is 18 took me because my parents had to work. We stayed in a hotel. It was really late. My brother was taking a shower and I had my eyes closed trying to sleep.

My brother opened the door with a towel around his waist and got some boxers from his bag. He went back in the restroom without closing the door. I guess he thought I was asleep. He took off his towel and started drying himself. I had never seen another guy's private area before and was curious. I saw that my brother had very hairy legs and a bush of hair above his penis. He also had a very huge erection and started to masturbate but then closed the door. I started to compare my penis to his. How long will it be until my privates look like his? (age 14)

Probably any day now. Penises grow very fast when guys turn 14.

I've been slapping the salami since 13 or so, and I always thought I hid it well, at night in bed or on the toilet. So I was a bit surprised when the other day my sister (who's 15) asks me, in a serious and curious manner, "Do all guys masturbate as much as you?"

I think I turned lobster red with embarrassment, but it all seemed for the best. She confided that she's been experimenting and was just curious, so it's all out in the open between us. Still, rather an awkward moment. (age 17)

Interesting. She used the technique a lot of sex researchers use, to assume the fact of masturbating rather than ask someone if they do it.

I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone and we were talking about what we would do to each other if we were together and that really got us both in the mood. So I went to the side of my bed so nobody could see me and started doing what my boyfriend told me to do. I had my shirt on but nothing else. I was climaxing and getting really close to orgasm when my dad bolted through the door and walked to me and caught me with my pants off. He was like "what are you doing?" I was so embarrassed, but I was more angry that he just barged in the room without knocking. So I walked into the family room like nothing happened but my dad told my mom so she kept asking what I was doing behind my bed, acting like she was dumb and everything which made me more embarrassed and angry that I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night. Not the best way for them to handle it, but they should realize that its normal to masturbate and they shouldnt make me feel like I broke the law. (age 16)

Yes, but you were having phone sex too, which is certainly more shocking to parents than mere masturbation.

When I was 13, I spent the night at my ex-girlfriend's house. In the early evening, I went into her younger sister's (age 12) room to get her cell phone. My one mistake was that I didn't know her door was messed up so when I shut it after me the door knob broke off and we were stuck, just me and her sister. After most of my friends had left the party, it was just me and this cute girl sitting in her room. Well as with all good conversations we always somehow ended up talking about sexual things (we were both very horny kids). After a few hours of this I (being extremely aroused) somehow got the nerve to ask her to show me how a girl masturbates. For the next half hour to an hour she lay, completely naked, on her bed and masturbated. After only a few minutes I had no choice but to join in. So there we are, both moaning and grunting, and my ex-girlfriend sees us through the hole where the doorknob used to be. I was so embarrassed but there was no way I was gonna stop. After we both came I called her back to the hole in the door and apologized a million times. She must have believed in me because we are all still great friends till this day. (age 17)


I was masturbating in my room and my sister caught me. She then said that I'd better start being nicer to her or she will tell everyone what I did. What should I do? (age 14)

Why not be nicer to her? Actually, she doesn't have a whole lot of power, because at your age, nearly all guys masturbate, so everyone she could tell probably already assumes you masturbate, even if you don't.

I was home alone because my parents went to my 20 year old brother's football game. With all that time to myself, I went in my room on the computer and started masturbating. My brother won the game and the family wanted to go to dinner, so they came to the driveway and told him to ask me if I wanted to come. So he opened my door just as I ejaculated all over the place! He said, "WOW!, that was a big one! You're catching up to me! I'm proud of you." and left. I was so embarrassed! The next morning there was a box in my closet with a note on it. The note said, "If you need anything else, just tell me." I opened the box and there were 20 magazines, 5 videos, lube, and boxes of condoms! I'm glad that I have such a cool brother, and even more glad that he didn't tell anyone. (age 14)


Once when I thought I was home alone, I was listening to some music while mastrubrating. I had just learned how to masturbate from my friend, and suddenly my brother who is 16 came into my room while I lay there naked and masturbated. Now every time he sees me, he just looks at me like I am like a very dirty girl, but I am not like that! I have always been a goodiegirl, and I am afraid that if my mom and dad find out, that they also will look at me as a dirty girl. What should I tell them in a way that doesn't make it sound so dirty? (age 12)

Your brother is certainly experienced at masturbating himself. He was probably more embarrassed that he had walked in on you than he was that you were masturbating. He won't tell your parents, so you don't need to say anything to them. It might help to smooth things over with your brother if you talked to him about it. You might also want to read the book Nice Girls Do by Irene Kassorla.

I was just caught masturbating by my mom for the first time. What should I do? It's kind of abnormal at my age. (age 22)

I think you should be a man and not worry about what your mom thinks.

I was caught by a female stalker! It was a warm late summer evening and the air conditioning wasn't working properly so I decided to masturbate in my bedroom with the window open but the curtains closed. There was some wind blowing and the curtains opened intermittently but I was so zoned out masturbating that I didn't really mind. Then, I heard a female voice greeting me and giggling. I saw this girl (who was stalking me for a while) and she ran for it after my brief glimpse. She never talked or teased me about the incident afterwards. Life pretty much went on as if it never happened. (age 25)

Kind of reminds me of the movie "The Temp" only it was a man who was spying on Lara Flynn Boyle when she was masturbating?

A few weeks ago, while my parents were out shopping, I was masturbating in front of my computer. I had the music on so my sister wouldn't hear. I was almost at climax when I heard the door to our computer room open and my mom walked in. Her eyes got big. They shot from my face, to my crotch and then she smirked. She backed out of the room and hasn't said anything since. Needless to say I had a ruined orgasm, but that's better than her getting angry. (age 16)

The music keeps your sister from hearing but it also keeps you from hearing ...

I was caught by my mother when I was 12. I remember because I had just recovered from a serious injury to my shoulder. My mother was NOT happy. In fact, she threatened to beat me if I ever did it again and still insists on trying to humiliate me on the rare occasions that I see her. She wants to make sure that everyone knows what a pervert her son is. I still struggle with this in relationships and have found it hard to trust anyone in a relationship since. The only good thing is that I didn't let her stop me from masturbating and do it fairly regularly now. I even joke about it to my siblings who amazingly don't talk to our mother much either. (age 34)

That is a sad story. Your problems obviously go beyond being caught masturbating once 22 years ago. Perhaps family therapy would be a good thing. See if you can find a competent family therapist near you.

I got caught in the act when I was 11 years old. When it happened I thought it was the worst thing that ever happened, and that it might be possible to die of embarrassment. I was bare-assed naked, standing in the middle of the room, watching myself in the mirror on the back of the door when the door opened and my mother walked in. I locked the door, but didn't close it all the way. I got yelled at and lectured. I wished I was dead!

What I think is really crazy now is the number of people who are writing to HealthyStrokes.com with a similar story, so now I'm thinking that maybe this is one of the most common things in the world.

I got up the courage to ask my sister if anything like this ever happened to her, and I was kind of surprised when she said yes. She told me the whole story. Unlike me, she had a sheet over her, but she was right on the brink when the door opened (she didn't bother locking it at all) and she said she actually had her orgasm during the yelling.

I asked my girlfriend, who is kind of shy about taking about things like this. After I told her what happened to me, she admitted that she also got caught. She was a little older, 16 years old at the time. In her case it was her dad that walked in, and like me she was also nude. She also admitted she had the added embarrassment of having an object inserted and sticking halfway out of her at the time. Also like me, she couldn't cover up fast enough and ended up wishing she would die on the spot! So, to anybody who got caught and feels bad about it, don't! You are in good company, and from what I read on this site, you have a lot of company, too. (age 19)

But most of those stories are different from yours insofar as nearly all parents reported here are accepting of their children masturbating and are equally embarrassed that they walked in on it. You don't mention your girlfriend's father reacting at all. He is more typical of parents than your mother.

I was 16 when I was caught masturbating. I was using my vibrating back massager, and just as I climaxed my mom walked in and saw me, mid-orgasm. She just blushed and shut the door. I burst into tears and apologized but she just giggled and told me not to worry about it. Life's pretty much gone on as normal now though. (age 18)

That's good.

About a year ago we had visitors over to our house so I ended up having to share my sister's room (and bed) with her for a night. During the night I woke up soooo aroused that even though I tried to go back to sleep, I knew that I had to masturbate. I checked to see if she was sleeping and then I went for it. I even did it on my stomach with my clothes on and afterward I fell right back to sleep. A week after that she wouldnt talk to me at all. Later she wrote me a letter saying that she was awake that night and that she thought that I was disgusting and a pervert. (age 19)

You don't say how old your sister is, but if she's much younger than you, then it will just be a matter of time before she will likely understand that masturbation is normal and healthy and fun. If she is closer to your age, then she probably needs to be prodded to learn some facts about masturbation that could help her understand. And of course, how could I not remind you that doing it on your stomach is atypical and should be avoided.

I've always had a fear of getting caught. Last weekend, my 18 year old brother caught me. I was home alone completely naked masturbating on my bed. Since I thought I had the house to myself, I was more vocal and was moaning really loudly thrusting my hips and pretending I was having sex with a hot girl. I reached climax and began ejaculating and moaning louder until my brother rushed in yelling "what's the matter?" I was too shocked and embarrassed but at the same time I was having an orgasm and couldn't stop, so I was lying there frozen. It was the weirdest feeling I have ever felt. My brother laughed and said, "don't worry kid. It's normal. Just clean your mess up when you're done" and walked out. always ask my brother everything for advice with girls and sex and my body. I'm glad I have an older brother. (age 13)


I went to the movies with one of my friends and a group of girls came over and sat beside us. I noticed about halfway through the movie the hands of the girl sitting next to me were cupped together in her lap. I looked down toward her hands and noticed her thumb knuckle was moving ever so slightly. She was masturbating! I kept looking down and she eventually noticed, and she gave me a little smile. By then I had the hardest erection of my life, and I was wearing basketball shorts. You could see the definition of my penis. I noticed her mouth opened, and her head went forward, and she made a tiny moan and tried to cover it with a cough. She orgasmed right in front of me! It was the hottest thing I had ever seen. I had precum all over my thigh. She looked at me and reached over and touched my penis and said "do you want me to get that for you?" I was so excited I said OK and we went into the family bathroom, and she gave me a hand job. I had 2 orgasms in 10 minutes. It was amazing, but was it wrong for me to let it go that far? (age 15)

The important question is whether you think it was wrong.

I saw my friend's 9 year old brother on the sofa masturbating watching a video. He was begging me not to tell anyone and I said, "don't worry it's normal." I asked him how long he's been doing that? He told me about a month. I told him he was lucky, because I didn't learn until I was 12. Before he left the room he whispered, "I'll come to your house later" and then he ran. I know he's going to ask me more. What should I do? (age 17)

I don't think there is harm in telling him anything, but you should definitely draw the line at showing him anything. You might also tell him to ask his own brother.

I wasn't really caught masturbating, but my mom found images of porn on some temporary storage file. I don't really understand it, but it's pretty embarrassing. (age 17)

Your Internet browser stores images in a special directory called a cache so it can load them more quickly when you visit that site again. You can easily clear the cache in Mozilla Firefox when the box comes up when you close asking if you want to clear private data now. Just make sure the box for cache or temporary files is checked. In Internet Explorer, you have to do it manually by clicking on "Tools" and "Internet Options" and then "Delete Files." But I think the cat is out of the bag now, so maybe you don't care.

I went tanning a couple of weeks ago. Right when I was having my orgasm, the cleaning lady walked in by accident. (I forgot to lock the door.) She went in to clean the wrong bed. When I walked out she just smiled and said see ya next time. I have no idea how long she had been there watching. (age 35)

OK, but I think you left something out between "I went tanning a couple of weeks ago." and "Right when I was having my orgasm ..."

I was masturbating in the bathroom and when I finished I discovered that I forgot to lock the door. When I was outside the bathroom I saw presents brought by my aunt. That makes it clear that she saw me. She behaves in a strange manner like teasing me. What should I do now? (age 20)

It does not necessarily mean she saw you because you didn't lock the door. You probably would have heard if she barged in, and she probably would have knocked first anyway. If an error was made, it was hers. Just act like you usually do.

I was caught when I was 18 by my sister who was 22 at the time. I was home alone and decided to jerk off. I was in the zone and had my eyes closed when I heard my door open and I saw her sister standing there smiling. Since I was in the zone I couldn't stop and came in front of her. She just smiled and said we all do it. (age 30)

The zone is also known as the point of ejaculatory inevitability.

Once I was masturbating fully clothed in the loft and my cousin who is 3 months older than me walked up and asked what I was doing. I said, "Can you believe I got a freaking bug bite down there!" Do you think she knew what I was doing? (female, age 13)

If she didn't, she will figure it out soon. It reminds me of the question an emergency room doctor asked a woman who got a bobby pin in her bladder. He asked how it happened. She said she must have sat on it funny and promised to be more careful. Of course, he already knew it happened due to masturbating.

When I was about 8, we had just gotten home from our local pool. When everyone got out of the car, I decided to masturbate (but I didn't know what it was called then). I was on the brink of orgasm, then my mom knocked on the window and said "what are you doing?" I said I had an itch. Do you think she knows what I was doing? (female, age 13)

Yes, absolutely she did.

I was overcome by the urge today and went to the one-person men's room where I work. This area hardly gets any business and there is even a place for my laptop. I stood while I did it. I had a fairly intense orgasm as I watched myself in the bathroom mirror. Then I looked to clean up the floor but there was hardly any. I was horrified to see that I splattered my black shirt all the way up to my neck. I'm glad I didn't have to deal with a lot of people today. I should wear dirtier clothes or at least lighter colors. (age 29)

I think you're better off masturbating in a one-person lockable bathroom than in any kind of multi-stall arrangement. Technically you didn't get caught, but I put your story here since you probably will be soon.

I can't relate to the "got caught" stories. I knew it felt good to rub my penis but not much else when I was 11 1/2. I asked my dad what an orgasm was and how I would know if I had one. He explained everything, and said I will know when it happens. Because of this openness, I didn't have to worry about my squeaky bed or stains on the sheets or moaning. When my first one happened I let it rip. The next morning my mom had a silly smile, and I just said DAD WAS RIGHT! (age 14)


I was staying at a hotel for a business trip. When I woke up one morning, I got an urge to masturbate, and I had a really nice time doing so, getting my panties all wet. The hotel left the newspaper by the door, so I went out to get it and I accidentally locked myself out! A few people leaving their rooms saw me, and I think they probably saw the wet spot on my panties! I had to ask someone to call the front desk and send someone to unlock my room. (age 36)

They probably didn't see the wet spot and would have assumed it was urine.

The other day I was masturbating in my chair, facing away from the door. I heard my dad coming up the stairs, but for some reason, I carried on! It seemed to force my body to bring an orgasm closer. I was just about to ejaculate when my Dad came in. He just went "Mum just wants to know that you're getting changed" and I said, with body angled so he couldn't see my penis, "yeah i'll be down in like 5 minutes". He said "hmm..." and walked out. I felt really bad, but then thought back to the advice this site gave me, and I forgot it happened! I carried on masturbating and had a satisfying orgasm.(age 14)

Congratulations.

The other day I was at school, and I saw this really hot girl. She made me get a boner, so I ran to the bathroom. Right when I was getting in the mood for masturbating , my teacher walked in and asked if I was OK? And I couldn't talk because I was ejaculating and I couldn't stop. What should I do? I'm so embarrassed. (age 13)

Your teacher understands. He masturbates too. You don't have to worry unless he reports you to the school administration. I remind guys that it's always a bad idea to masturbate outside of your private space.

It was early morning for me. I woke up and I was REALLY in the mood. I starting masturbating but I forgot the night before to lock my door. Then my dad opened the door while I was close to ejaculating, and all he said was "Are you awake yet?" Then he went downstairs and asked if I was ready for breakfast. I'm not sure if he saw me because of the angle at which he was looking, but I think he knew perfectly what I was doing. I feel terribly embarrassed, but he hasn't said anything about it since. Any advice? (age 17)

You don't need to say anything about it either. You both handled it very well.

I was taking a shower and moaning a little, and I didn't hear my mom come in. She heard me moaning, and she said, "(My name), are you masturbating?" I said yes, a little, and she just laughed and went out. She never said anything more about it. (female, age 14)

What she said was still more than I would have said.

I masturbate in the shower and it takes me a while so my showers end up about 30 minutes long. Afterward I always think I smell funny, so I pack on the deodorant and spray and stuff. My mom has commented about my frequent showers (2, 3 times a day) before, and my dad takes showers in that same shower too. Do you think they know? (age 13)

They definitely suspect. My dad suspected I masturbated in the shower when I was about your age even though I only showered once a day and wasn't nearly as long as you. I think he was mostly mad about me using the hot water. One day he said I didn't need to do that every day. "Do what?" I asked. "You think I don't know what you're doing running the water that long?" I had no clue. I wasn't even sure what masturbation was at that point. (Happily for me and my readers, I am now.) I said that I did the lather-rinse-repeat regimen on the shampoo bottle and then let the conditioner sit before rinsing it away. It was the truth. My mom said I didn't need to shampoo twice every day. Within a year of that conversation, I was masturbating daily, but being a TMS guy, I was never able to do it in the shower. After being cured of TMS, I did it there once just to see what it was like. So anyway, yes, they suspect, and possibly they even believe that they know you do.

I live with my sister who's 18. Yesterday she caught me masturbating and she just laughed and left. Today she told me it's OK and if I need to I can ask her anything. I want to ask her some stuff but I'm afraid she'll make fun of me. Should I ask? (age 13)

Yes, I think you should. She laughed yesterday because she was embarrassed and nervous. She talked to you today because she got over it. You should get over it too and ask for her advice if you need it. She will not make fun of you. She very likely masturbates too.

After I came home from school, I went in my room and was masturbating when my mom came in. I quickly covered myself. She smiled and told me to do my homework and left. Did she know what I was doing? (age 12)

Yes.

I asked my mom why she put a lock on my door. She just said please use it when you are "doing your thing." I felt my ears getting red and mumbled, "what thing?" She said masturbating and we both started laughing. (age 13)

I'm happy for you.

I was masturbating on my bed 3 days ago, and my brother walked in. He asked, "are you masturbating?" I quickly said no. I had my covers on. Then he grabbed the covers. I slipped my underwear on. We haven't talked since. He must think I was masturbating. (age 16)

You were masturbating, remember? You can't blame him for thinking something is true because he saw it himself. Just talk to him about something else. You don't want to talk about being caught masturbating, and neither does he.

My little brother (13) and I share a room and it was midnight so I thought he was asleep. I got undressed and started to masturbate when I heard a little giggle. I opened my eyes and saw my brother! I couldnt really talk to him because of the embarrassment. What should I do? (age 15)

He was probably embarrassed too, or he will be within the next year. If he doesn't say anything, just ask him if he wants to talk.

Is it weird that I've always wanted to catch my younger step-sister who is 18 in the act? She is good looking, and she has caught me before, and I think she has masturbated on the chair while I was lying on the couch. She has also flashed her vulva at me. Does she want me to see, and is it weird that it turns me on? (age 21)

No, I don't think that is weird. A step-sister is not the same as a real sister or half-sister with whom sexual relations are taboo. Stepsisters are fair game. She knows this, and perhaps she is interested in you sexually, or perhaps she is just playing with you. She would have less ability to play with you if you had other women in your life. If you are interested in pursuing a relationship with her, you might develop a casual relationship with a semi-girlfriend first.

I was looking at a masturbation gel on the Internet and forgot to clear the history. The next day I noticed that someone else had looked at the same site. I was mortified. About two weeks later, I found a jar on my dresser with a note from my dad. He said he bought one for himself too! (age 16)

How wonderful for you and your dad. Now maybe you can tell me the name of the gel and how you like it. Then maybe I can get them to advertise here. Then it would be wonderful for all of us!

I've never been caught but I know my mother knew that I did it. I find it interesting that so many younger boys think she doesn't know what you're up to. Needless to say, I was happy she never brought it up but just because she doesn't say anything doesn't mean she doesn't know. Just be careful, clean up after yourself, and always do it in private! (age 23)

That's all good advice, but I don't know how you are so certain your mother knew. I've dealt with many clueless mothers on this web site and other women in my own life who were uninformed about the prevalence and frequency of masturbation.

I masturbate regularly, but I was reading this really good book one night and I heard my mom coming, and I hid it in time but I didn't turn off the lamp, so when she asked me what I was doing, I didn't say anything. I'm not sure if she thinks I was masturbating or not. Please help. (age 13)

From the way you described it, I can't tell either. What difference does it makes whether she thinks you were or not? I don't know what you can do about it either way.

My twin brother walked in on me masturbating the other day and he just laughed and said he did it as well. He asked if we could do it together. What should I do? (age 14)

I recommend against sexual involvement with your twin brother. If you don't want to do it together, you should say so and not entertain any further discussion of it. It is not a good sign that he laughed at you.

My friend has a pretty hot sister one year younger, and she had a friend sleeping over one night I was there, and her friend is REALLY hot. There was only one bathroom on that floor so I went to the bathroom, incorrectly assuming everyone else was asleep (including both girls). So I went into the bathroom and shockingly find my friend's sister's really hot friend just lying with her back on the floor completely naked and masturbating. I was shocked and just stood there for a few seconds and didn't know what to think. I just said "sorry" and walked out and waited until she was done to use the bathroom. But now I see her more than I used to and when I see her she kind of just grins at me, and now is making some more sexually advancing moves toward me sometimes. I don't know what to say or do or even if I should do anything. Any suggestions please? (age 15)

If you want to ask her out, I'm pretty sure she would agree. She may have even been that way in the bathroom because she wanted you or your friend to walk in on her. If you don't want to go out with her, then don't do anything to encourage her. Be neutral rather than smiling; avoid making eye contact; and fold your arms if she approaches you.

My best guy friend (who is hot) walked in on me masturbating. He said sorry and walked out. The next day I went over to study at his house, and he asked me out! Sometimes getting caught isn't so bad. (age 13)

I guess not!

I don't have a lock on my door, and once I was masturbating completely naked. I was under my bed covers, assured that no one would find out. My parents have a tendency to knock and immediately enter. So, one day my mom knocked, opened the door, and I sat up quickly with the blankets as a shield. I stuttered, "I was just, uh, getting dressed!" She gave me a shocked look and said, "Next time lock your door." (But I don't have one!) (age 16)

I think you would have gotten one if you had asked that very day. It is not too late.

I have come in on my brother multiple times. Just yesterday he was masturbating when I came in. I know he was masturbating because he had lotion on his hand and the computer screen was turned off and he told me, "go do something for a while." We don't act differently around each other but I want to tell him to do it more secretly but I don't know how to. He is 18. (age 15)

Why don't you try harder to not walk in on him? All you have to do is knock and wait for him to tell you to not come in.

My girlfriend is really understanding! One day, I was over at her house to because she has a pool in her backyard and we were supposed to go swimming. She had gone to change into her bathing suit. She went to her bathroom to change. I stayed in her room to change into my trunks. As I was undressing, I got an erection because the thought of being naked in my girlfriend's room just seemed so exhilirating! "I'm going to be a while! I have to put on sunscreen," she called from her bathroom. I decided to masturbate really quickly. I am really quiet. I was just about to orgasm when my girlfriend walked in. I had my back to her and my trunks were around my ankles so I quickly pulled them up. I turned around and she was smiling. "I know what you were doing, I know what you were doing," she sang as she came toward me. She put her hands around my neck and whispered "masturbating!" My chest was heaving from my almost orgasm. She kissed my cheek and said, "I think it's really hot." And we went swimming as planned. (age 15)

So you didn't get to finish.

My older brother and I are really close. We never fought when we grew up, and don't really argue now. I came home early from a friend's house because we were working on a project and finished early. I needed to ask my bro for something he had borrowed from me. I walked in on him masturbating in his room, fully naked! He froze and his face drained of color. He grabbed a blanket to cover himself up. I didn't think what he was doing was weird because I think masturbating is perfectly normal. I just said, "You're SO lucky I was the one who caught you not mom or dad!" and I left. The next morning he wouldn't talk to me, and I really needed to show him I didn't care. I called my boyfriend and asked him to get a few magazines (you know which ones) from his older bro who I knew had some. He dropped them off at my house and I put them under my brother's pillow. That night I heard someone tiptoeing in my room in at like 3 a.m. My brother whispered "I WAS lucky you were the one who caught me." (age 15)

That is pretty brave for a younger sister to do.

I keep a tube of K-Y Jelly under my mattress. I came home from school and my mom said, "I flipped your mattress today," with a big smile. I actually enjoy masturbating more now that I know my parents approve. (age 16)

Flipping a mattress can be like turning over a rock, can't it? I'm glad I had a waterbed when I was your age.

I have read the getting caught stories and some of them say when they got caught, the person who caught them told them to finish up. I don't understand. When I got caught, I didn't need to finish up. I just stopped. Why did they need to finish up? (female, age 12)

I suspect you are not having orgasms yet. When you are not having orgasms, masturbating is just a fun thing to do, like riding a bike with no destination in mind. When you are having orgasms, masturbating takes you through steps in a bodily process of sexual arousal that can leave a person feeling uncomfortable if it is not brought to resolution through orgasm. Parents know this and understand why the person they interrupted needs to finish. Some say so explicitly. When you are orgasmic, you will look back at this question and say, "oh, of course!"

My family had gone on a trip for a week and I couldn't wait for us to get home, so I did it in the back of the car. I covered myself with a pillow and was very quiet about it. I was the only one in the backseat. Do you think that my parents knew? I have found that when I am being close to getting caught, I have a better orgasm. Do you know why this is? (age 14)

I doubt that your parents knew. If they had, it would have made them very uncomfortable being in such proximity and they would have said something. You have a better orgasm at times like that because the fear of getting caught is arousing to you.

Heres a story I doubt you've heard the likes of. My two best friends had been going out. I walked in on the female friend and caught her masturbating. After what seemed the longest minute ever, she invited me to join her and we had sex! I was on my way over to the male friend's house but I got delayed due to bicycle trouble, so he figured I was going to be quite late, and when I got there I discovered him masturbating to GAY PORN!!! I was shocked and immediately left the room, but about a minute later he came outside and admitted he was in fact gay and that going out with my other friend was a cover. Now he's got a boyfriend and I'm going out with the girl, so getting caught was the best thing that's happened to any of us! (age 15)

That's quite a story! If it's true, you're raising the bar for everyone else who posts a true story here or even makes one up.

I come from a place where sex and all those related talks are taboo. I sometimes watch porn on the computer in my brother's room. Recently I closed the door and then suddenly my mom banged and then she told not to close it because she knew what children in my age group do. What should I do? (age 17 1/2)

I think you should do what children in your age group do someplace else.

My dad just walked in on me 10 minutes ago but could only see the upper part of my body and asked, "why are you naked and lying on the floor?" Then he changed the subject. (age 13)

That's called answering your own question. He figured out what you were doing and then abandoned his quest for an answer by talking about a different subject.

Last week, I was at my cousin's house, and I wanted to masturbate to this picture I had, so I went to the bathroom with the picture and did my business. A little while later, my cousin came out of the bathroom with the picture and said, "Why was this picture in the bathroom?" I figured he knew what I did, so I took the picture back casually and said "Thanks." At least I wasn't caught in the act, but it was still kind of awkward. We laughed about it, and we're really cool about it now. (age 14)

That reminds me of the scene in Me, Myself, and Irene where Irene (Renee Zellweger) comes into Jim Carrey's motel room and wonders why her photo is on his bed next to a bottle of lotion.

I was walked in on last night. I had just finished masturbating when my mom walked in. She sat and questioned me because I was all red and blotchy and thought I was upset. At first I tried to deny my color and insisted that I wasn't upset. But she wouldn't leave and demanded to know what was wrong. I ended up having to come clean about it. She just mumbled and walked out. (age 16)

Good for you! I think she will respect your privacy more now. It seems that you get sex flush. This is a reddening of the skin that happens at orgasm and lasts for about 10 minutes. People who get sex flush have to be more careful than others if they want to conceal their sexual activity. You might get a trampoline or free weights or something for your room so you have an excuse why your face is red.

I like to masturbate after I shower and yesterday I had just finished and didn't know anyone was home. I stepped into the hallway in jockey shorts with a full erection. My mom just acted like she didn't notice. Would you call this getting caught? (age 17)

No. You are lucky if you can have a full erection right after masturbating.

My stupid mom constantly accuses me of masturbating when I am not! I like to take naps at about 6 in the evening, and every time I do so, if she walks in, she just assumes that I am masturbating! She yells about it and says that I shouldn't be doing that! It is possibly the most annoying thing ever, and so degrading! Do you have any idea of how I could convince her I'm not? (age 17)

You would have a hard time convincing me you're not too. Even if you are not masturbating at those particular times, I am inclined to believe you do it at other times. So you aren't really in a position to argue that you're not. I suggest instead asserting the legitimacy of your need for privacy. Just tell her it's your business and you don't want to talk about it, and insist that she knock first. You would also get points by not assuming she's stupid.

I came home from college last Christmas break, and I thought my whole family was gone. So I started masturbating. I was just about to cum when my 16 year old sister walked in on me. She stared at me and I couldn't stop and I came right in front of her. She laughed at me and said her boyfriend was bigger and then walked out. Now she makes fun of me in front of my family and says I have to masturbate because I can't get a girlfriend. (age 20)

Tell her she's still a little girl and hopefully one day she'll grow up.

I was caught masturbating in my parent's bathroom by my dad after I took a hot bath. I had soap all over my penis & was stroking it when he barged in (their bathroom doesn't have a lock on it). Now I'm banned from using their bathroom. He gave me a speech about being careful where I did it because I could get arrested or something. I feel angry at him. What should I do? I don't feel like I can let this slide. (age 16)

Although you did nothing wrong, you have to abide by his decision because it is his bathroom and he gets to make the rules for it. You are also the son, and parents get to lecture, nag, or scold their children whenever they want to. Perhaps you would be less angry if you read between the lines in his speech. He did not say masturbating is bad or wrong, only to be careful where you do it. I say the same thing on HealthyStrokes.com every day. He was probably very embarrassed about walking in on you, and lecturing you was the best way he could overcome it. He will probably lift the bathroom ban soon enough. Just remember what he said after that.

I was staying at my aunt's house for a few days and really need to masturbate. So I went in the bathroom and locked the door (or at least I thought I did, but apparently the lock didn't work). As I was masturbating the door opened and my aunt stood there shocked as I began to ejaculate. She said sorry and quickly closed the door, but I never felt more embarrassed in my life. The next morning she told me she understood how I felt and that she had been caught once when she was my age. I felt much better about it then, and it wasn't a big deal anymore. (age 17)

Good deal!

I was in the shower masturbating and was moaning way too loud and my 18 year old sister heard me from her bedroom. She definitely knew what I was doing. What should I do? (age 14)

If she doesn't complain, then do nothing. If she complains about the noise, then you will have to balance your right to express yourself against her interest in not hearing it. If she already knows you masturbate, then there is no point in trying to convince her that you don't. She probably knows that all guys masturbate, and she probably does it herself. I think you're worried about nothing.

I was masturbating in the shower and when I ejaculated I lost my semen. Ever since my parents always knock and I was wondering if they know because they found it or did they decide to just give me some privacy. (age 15)

Semen would be pretty hard to find in a shower. It would have turned to a watery consistency before you even left the bathroom, and then it wouldn't have even looked like semen. The only way they realistically would have found it is if it landed on a dry fabric and then dried. I am inclined to believe they realized your age and decided to give you privacy.

I was in the shower masturbating and my dad said to hurry up and finish. Do you think he knows what I was doing? (age 13)

No. He could have meant finish your shower, finish using the toilet, finish brushing your hair...

When I was 16 I got my first porn DVD and masturbated to it constantly. But the only DVD player was in the living room, so I had to wait for my mom to leave to watch it. One night she came home early and caught me. I was completly naked and had nothing to cover up with. She just said, "So this is what you do when I'm not here." I ran to my room and got dressed. She never said anything else but my DVD disappeared. Do you think she kept it? (age 22)

Why do you have to wonder? Modern teens are certainly glad that DVDs play on computers now.

Once, when I was masturbating, my mom came in. She sat down and talked about how she used to masturbate when she was a girl like me. I thought it was embarrassing for her to just sit down and talk about it. But at least she feels comfortable talking about masturbation. Now she always knocks. What do you think? (age 16)

I think it would have been better if she hadn't shared stories about her own experience, but like you said, at least she is comfortable talking about it. You both seem to have learned from it.

I was caught masturbating today on the sitting room couch by my brother (who is 15). I was just lying there completely naked and I had nothing to cover up with so I just sort of froze. His face just went blank then he smiled and said "I'll just leave you to it" and left so I finished up. Later he told me he did it too and that most people do it as well. He told me about your site that he found recently. I think masturbation is going to be a common subject in our conversations. (age 13)


My bedroom is in the basement next to the laundry room. I was in my room naked and masturbating with the door open. I could hear my mom coming down to do some laundry. My mom knows that I sleep naked so it would not be a surprise for her to see me naked. But she has never seen me masturbate before, and even with her back to me, I was still stroking as I was looking at her. Then she turned to my room and saw what I was doing and started to talk to me. Even then I did not stop right away. She was not even surprised to see me. But she needed my help to move some boxes, so I got up and helped her still hard and naked. (age 25)

You and your mom both need professional help. Try to be respectful of her and keep your door closed when you are naked and/or masturbating.

How can I get appropriate alone time to masturbate? I'm always scared my parents will knock on my door when I'm in the middle of it. (age 17)

There's no harm in knocking. If you have parents who knock, you already have a lot more privacy than many who come to this page.

I was in my room which I share with my sister, and everyone was out but my mom came home and caught me. She offered to buy me a vibrator, but she also told my sister, which led to telling both my brothers, and it feels incredibly uncomfortable. What should I do? It's a joke to my mom, but I know she does it because I've seen her vibrator. (age 16)

You ought to tell your mother that you would like more discretion when it comes to your business.

I like to shut and lock the door to the bathroom and turn the shower on, and then masturbate outside of the shower with a lube, like body wash. The sound of the water drowns out the sound of me masturbating to anyone who might come about. When I'm done, I get in the shower and wash off the semen and excess lube. Is this a great idea or is there some mistake that I have overlooked? Your site has been a great help in my life so far, being able to ask questions without being embarrassed. (age 13)

I think your strategy is a good one. Just be sure you're a little wet when you emerge from the bathroom or people will get suspicious. I should also mention that I had a friend in college who said her younger brother took a lot of "baths." I have a feeling she figured out why the water was running so much when he was in there.

I mastubate frequently and I know it is normal but it doesnt stop me from feeling ashamed. Not so long ago, my mother caught me but she didn't say much. She was pretty cool about it and very understanding. My father caught me once and I think it affected him a lot. What should I do? I'm too ashamed to talk to him. (age 19)

You are supposed to be a grown woman at your age. I suggest going ahead with both of them as if nothing had ever happened. I think within a year or so you will accept masturbation as nothing to be ashamed of.

When I was 18 I was looking at porn on the Internet, and masturbating, when I heard my mom saying "finish it up and go to bed." Had she been there for too long? It was dark (only the computer screen light) so did she really see what I was doing? She never said a word about it afterward. (age 25)

Yes, I think she did. A computer screen gives off a lot of light relative to darkness. She probably assumed you had been masturbating for years and so there was no reason for her to say anything.

I have never been cought but I think my mom knows. She is a very strong Christian and whenever we talk about sex, she tells me whatever I do in my bedroom is between me and God. Do you think she knows? (age 15)

One knows, and the other one no doubt strongly suspects.

One time I was masturbating at the computer in my bedroom when my 10 year old sister opened my door and saw me, then walked out. Did she know what I was doing? (age 14)

Probably not, but that doesn't mean she won't figure it out by the time she's your age.

Your site is brilliant! You helped me a lot before with problems from your answers to other people but I need to ask your help on this one. I was masturbating in the shower once and I heard the doorbell ring and my brother let them in and about 30 seconds later my female friend opened the door in time to have my semen land on her shoulder. Luckily she was in a swim suit so it didn't go on her clothes. She just looked at her shoulder then at me and she slowly looked down to my still erect penis. It was the most awkward time of my life. She walked out and shut the door without a word. Now any time she sees me she smiles and looks away or at my pants. I've tried apologizing but she gets embarrassed and walks away. Why is she acting strangely around me? (age 15)

It might always be that way. But give her a few years to get over it.

If I ever get caught, I am dead. My parents are devout Christians, and they have made their stance clear against masturbation. A couple times I have come out of my room sweaty and red and my mom asks if I am feeling OK. Sometimes she also comes into my bedroom and realizes that I am not wearing anything, at least not on the bottom half of me. It hurts that I have to try so hard to hide my habit from them. I feel like I'm the only one of my religion that masturbates too. (age 16)

You are not the only one. If your parents persist in making an issue of it, let them know that you are an autonomous individual and you are making your own choices.

Your whole site is great! About a month ago I was in the shower masturbating and my dad caught me and ever since he's been really mean. What should I do? (age 15)

I suspect it's your imagination. He might just be irritated by a bunch of stuff due to the economy and perhaps general teenaged conflicts. It would help to be more cooperative around the house.

I was masturbating in my parents' room, but I forgot to lock the door and my brother came in and saw me and closed the door. What should I do? (age 16)

I don't think you need to do anything.

One night I was masturbating at about 12:30 at night and my parents had been asleep for a few hours, so I figured I was pretty safe. However, as I just about to reach climax, my mom opened the door and saw me ejaculate. I turned around as quickly as possible, so I think she only saw a small portion of it, but she just said sorry and walked out. Since then my parents have talked to me about it and my dad even gave me a magazine and a few DVDs. Now I feel like they are really accepting of my masturbation which is one of the best feelings in the world (except for masturbation itself of course haha). (age 15)

Haha.

My sister walked in on me masturbating and she laughed and said "look how small it is!!!" I'm overweight and I need to know if that can affect the size of my penis. I'm a huge fan of your site. My friend asked me how to masturbate and I said go to HealthyStrokes.com. Whooya! Virtual high five! (age 16)

Right back at ya. Weight won't affect your penis size per se, but the shaft of the penis can get buried in the fatty pad (mons pubis) at the base and make it seem smaller than it is. Your sister is not very sensitive.

When I was about 16 years old, I was masturbating in my bedroom with the door locked (even though no one was home). My mom and 12-year-old brother were gone, so I was taking full advantage of the opportunity to make some noise; I usually had to be very quiet while masturbating, because one or the other of them always seemed to be home. When I reached orgasm, I moaned long and loud, and, I believe, invoked God a couple of times. It was so much more satisfying to be able to let it all out. Immediately afterward, as I was lying there catching my breath, I suddenly heard the folding closet door in the hall creak as it was pushed open!! I was horrified; I clamped my hand over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut and wished I could just die. After five or ten minutes (or an eternity, which is what it felt like) of waiting for someone to say something, I cautiously called out to whoever it was. There was no response. I finally worked up the nerve to get up and put my clothes on and go find out who had just heard me have this hideously embarrassing, mind-blowing orgasm. I opened my door and looked down the hall and through my mom's open door into her bedroom, but the whole place was dark and empty. I was puzzled, and still extremely mortified. Then I glanced into the open hall closet, and saw our cat lying curled up comfortably on a thick, folded blanket in the back of the closet!! He nudged the door open so he could get in there to take a nap! I was absolutely dumbfounded, and I started laughing with sheer relief that I didn't have to have an awkward conversation with my mom or my little brother. I never "let it all out" again while I lived with my mother, though. That still ranks in my top five most embarrassing moments because of the intense level of humiliation that I felt before finding out it was the stupid cat!! (age 26)

That's funny!

About two weeks ago I was lying in my room on my bed and I was mastubating externally while covered with a blanket. My mom came in and I froze, and she said, "I will give you your privacy" and closed the door. Do you think she knew what I was doing?

I think she did.

I was masturbating in my hot tub, and my father walked out to tell me we were going to dinner soon. I'm pretty sure he realized what I was doing, and I'm a girl, and it was awkward. He laughed as he walked over and saw me fixing my bathing suit. Should I say something? (age 16)

I don't think there's any need to say anything.

I was in the shower masturbating and moaning really loudly and my sister's room is on the other side of the wall. She heard me and told my mom. My mom told me not to worry about it. (male, age 14)

That is a pretty cool mom.

I was masturbating with my door closed, and my mom walked in. I jumped off my bed and said "hi" and then she told me to clean my room. Most embarrasing moment of my LIFE! (female, age 14)

Oh well.

About a month ago I was masturbating and I was a few seconds away from climax, and my door started opening. Luckly a trait my family has is to enter a room slowly and looking middle level then finding what to look at. This gave me a second to pop my penis under my laptop (IT BURNS) which saved me briefly. My dad went on the bed and told me to help him. He pulled the laptop off my lap and was horrified; he dropped my lappy (almost breaking it) and walked straight out of the room. I think he has accepted it but I am still kind of worried. What should I do? (age 14)

Just forget it. It was a month ago.

I was masturbating when my mom came in and she saw my penis out. She said, "what are you doing?" and I said my penis was itchy. She giggled and walked away. Do you think she believed me? (age 12)

No. Not even a little.

I haven't actually been caught in the act, but I think my mom knows I masturbate. I usually do it at night and take off my underwear and toss it on the floor. In the morning, my mom has seen the underwear on the floor and a few towels near my bed and has made a funny face. The next day I made sure to hide all evidence and then she started looking around my bed and the top bunk with some boxes and stuff for storage. I am still surprised that I haven't been caught because I masturbate at least once a day.


I caught my dad watching porn pictures and with his hand down there. I don't think he saw me, but I giggled the whole day because of it. Now I know he is human too. (female, age 17)


I was 13 and my mom walked in on me because I accidentally left the lights on. It was the height of summer and I was just in my panties and I told her I was scratching and it was fairly believable. Now I'm paranoid. I have three doors leading into my room as well as a pair of swinging glass doors with blurry glass so I'm really paranoid it'll happen again. Even the smallest of noises freaks me out! (age 15)

Your mom knew what you were doing. It was two years ago. She has known for two years. You don't have to be worried anymore.

I was masturbating to a picture on my computer in my room when I heard my mom coming in. Really quickly I closed the image while I managed to hide my penis. She got close to say goodnight and talked for a while as I was still trying to catch my breath and keep my erection hidden. As she said goodnight, she seemed to notice something was strange so she quickly left. Is it possible that she didn't notice at all? (age 15)

Yes, but I doubt it.

A couple of nights ago, I was masturbating in my room (door closed) when I heard my mom walking around. Usually I pull myself together as she sometimes comes into my room without knocking. This time I decided to just carry on. Afterward I was puzzled as to why I had not panicked over the possibility of being caught. Any ideas? (age 21)

I think it's because you're an adult who doesn't have to worry about his mommy catching him masturbating.

One time I was lying on my bed working on a word search puzzle. Then I got bored with it and started masturbating and masturbated to orgasm. A few minutes later, my mom walked in and asked what I was doing I said I was just relaxing. She didn't believe me and then got into this whole thing about how it's natural and she used to do it too. It was really annoying because I wasn't even masturbating at that moment. She didn't end up believing me and it's so frustrating because I was actually telling the truth! On top of that I never get privacy to do it because my sister or my mom just barge into my room even when I ask them to knock and I'm not allowed to lock the door, and if I do, they get suspicious. (female, age 14)

This is a case where if you actually admitted to masturbating, you would arouse less suspicion and probably wind up with more privacy. You weren't masturbating at the moment your mom came in, but she could tell you had been masturbating. Even if it was only a guess, it was a correct guess.

I was masturbating in the bathroom recently and my mom asked my dad where I was. He called out and I answered. I was upstairs and he was at the bottom of them. He shouted back to my mom, "He's doing what he has to do." Did he mean masturbating or using the toilet? (age 13)

Using the toilet, obviously. How could he have known you were masturbating?

Just yesterday I was masturbating very fast, and my mom came in and looked at me with a shocked expression and said "don't worry, I won't tell." What is that supposed to mean? (age 15)

It means you don't have to worry about her telling anyone what you were doing. If you have to be caught, that is the best thing to hear.

My girlfriend's little sister caught me. I was sleeping at my girlfriends house when it was late and had an urge to masturbate. I slept in another room since her parents wouldnt let us sleep in the same room. I began and when I began to climax it was feeling amazing. Then I began to ejaculate. Her 13 year old sister caught me in mid ejaculation. She walked in the room and asked what I was doing and I said just changing. She said OK and asked what the white stuff was. I said I sneezed and was about to mop it up. I think she knew what I was doing. What creeps me out still is how I frequently think about this incident when I masturbate. Is that normal? (age 19)

Yes, it is normal to relive an encounter like that through a sexual fantasy. Congratulations to you for coming up with a story about sneezing all over the floor.

On the weekend, I got the urge, so I went to my room to releive myself. I forgot my girlfriend was coming over and I was almost to my climax when my door opened and it was her. She saw me ejaculate and said "wow" and walked out. I went to the living room and she told me not to be afraid because she did it too and she wouldn't tell. Then she said if I wanted to ever masturbate with her I could. Do you think that it went well? (age 15)

Yes, very well. Maybe too well. I think doing it together would be more exciting if you waited a while before doing it.

I was masturbating in my room the other day when my mom walked straight in without knocking. She stood there for a second and then to my amazement she just said "Carry on. I just want to use the computer." Let it suffice to say this was not the type of reaction I would have expected. (age 17)

Me either. She must have really wanted to use that computer.

I've been using my couch to masturbate for a while by sticking my penis in between the cushions and thrusting in and out. I usually only do that when I get home from school before my mom comes home. I was doing that when I heard the front door open. I tried to run to my room but I tripped because my boxers were around my ankles. My mom saw me totally naked just lying on the floor. She first asked me if I was alright, then when she found out I was, started yelling at me to get dressed. She gave me a long talk about masturbation and always to do it in my room with the door locked and not on the couch. I let her think I was masturbating on the couch instead of actually inserting my penis into the couch though. (age 16)

That was some good advice your mom gave you, and let me give you one more: Masturbating by thrusting into cushions is an atypical form of masturbation called Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome, or TMS. It is a highly dysfunctional way of masturbating that causes sexual dysfunctions in most males who practice it. I suggest giving up the cushion thrusting ASAP.

Early one morning I was masturbating like there was no tomorrow. I was sitting on the floor next to my bed so no one could see. I was sitting on a towel when my dad walked in. I tried to cram the pics back into the book and shove the lotion under my bed. My dad asked what I was doing. I just said nothing although he could clearly see I was covered in lotion. Then he walked out the door. I finished cleaning up and went to my door. He had locked it for me. Do you think he knew? (age 14)

Yes, absolutely he knew. He was a teenager himself once and he is not stupid. Next time have a better answer ready than "nothing." Some guys claim to be "exercising."

Just a week ago, I was masturbating in my room and had reached climax. All of a sudden my older brother came in just as I came. He just left the room without saying anything. Later on, we talked about masturbating and he bought me some mags and lube. I'm so happy that he understands. (age 13)

We all do!

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and saw my dad at the computer. The TV was on. I stayed up and watched it. But my Dad did not know I was awake. After about 20 minutes he leaned back in his chair and started making these "Ahhh, Uhhh" sounds. I looked up and saw that he was masturbating. I immediately went back to my bed and stayed there silently. I did not disrupt him because I knew it was normal and healthy. But I found it disturbing. I don't know what to do. Should I talk to him or just forget about it?

I have a feeling you're not going to forget about it, but I don't think there's any reason to tell him you saw either. It might be a good idea to say "hi dad" or something like that when you come into a room where he thinks he has privacy late at night. Your dad should have known to expect you and any time and not expect privacy there.

I was masturbating in my room and my brother's girlfriend walked in on me. My door was locked, but apparently she unlocked it with a hanger for whatever reason. After she saw what I was doing, she joined in and we later had sex. It was great, but I feel guilty. (age 17)

I am inclined to disbelieve your story. You don't say why she broke in with a hanger, but apparently the reason was unimportant enough that she stopped her pursuit of that to masturbate with you? Maybe the reason you feel guilty is because you posted a phony story on my web site.

I was masturbating standing up because I had too many clothes and papers on my bed. I was using a high school yearbook picture of my latest crush. My 16 year old sister and I share a bathroom that adjoins our bedrooms and I had forgotten to lock my side of the bathroom door. I was moaning the yearbook girl's name while stroking and my sister walked in on me just as I was about to come. She started saying she needed to borrow a hairbrush. She saw what I was doing and she put her hand on her mouth and started to giggle. I stopped stroking when I heard her, but it was too late and I couldn't help it, and I came with a surprising amount of force. A lot of lit landed on her stomach and her foot (and she was unfortunately wearing a bare midriff shirt) and she freaked and screamed at me and started punching my shoulder as I put my pants back on. I didn't mean to get it on her, obviously. Man, she was angry! I apologized later that day and she just punched me again. Since then she won't even talk to me. What should I do? (age 14)

She is the one who needs to apologize. She came into your room without knocking and did not immediately leave when she saw what you were doing. She is also the older one. However, demanding an apology when she apparently expects one from you will probably not accomplish anything. I think you might do well to tell her you want to work harder with her to ensure that you both have maximum privacy. And you might point out a description on HealthyStrokes.com about the point of ejaculatory inevitability.

I went out for drinks with my husband and came home late a bit drunk. We went right to bed for sex. We did not even realize that the door was open. While on top, to my surprise I saw my 19 year old son watching us from his bedroom and masturbating. Not wanting to make a scene and also, to be honest, not wanting to stop having sex (we rarely do lately), I just kept on doing it. I acted like he wasn't watching. But I know he saw everything. How, if at all, should I approach his with my son? (age 43)

You and your husband had an obligation to protect others in your house by not having sex with your door open. Once you discovered that, you should have closed it. I also think your son was wrong for watching (and masturbating while watching), but it was mostly your fault. If anything, you should apologize to him for putting him in that position.

I was talking to a friend the other day about being caught masturbating and he said that when he gets caught by his parents, he just carries on masturbating until they leave. Initially I thought this was odd, but then I thought that perhaps the mindset is that if you've been caught, why stop. Is this behavior odd or is it just me? (age 21)

I have a feeling your friend has never actually been caught masturbating, and if he has, that he did not keep masturbating in front of his parents. It would be very unusual for someone to keep going after becoming aware that someone has discovered them. First priority would be to deal with the privacy breach.

I was caught masturbating yesterday and now I feel really self-conscious about it because I'm sixteen and I'm not the biggest. I wish I could be. I'm overweight. I love the site. You're a good person for doing this.

I doubt that whoever walked in on you was thinking about the size of your penis. Most guys have been walked in on. Try not to be self-conscious. Losing weight can make your penis seem bigger if the fatty pad above the penis (called the mons pubis in males) gets smaller.

I've never been caught masturbating, but I find many of these stories fascinating. I'm surprised at how embarrassed so many people are at being caught by a same-sex sibling. I have three older brothers. My brother who is two years older than me introduced me to masturbation when I was probably eight or nine. I didn't go through puberty until I was eleven, so I had dry orgasms for the first two or three years. We often masturbated together as well as with our male cousins and friends of approximately the same age. My brothers and I used to bathe together -- it's how our parents put us in the tub. We masturbated together almost every time, but no one ever caught us. We all grew up to be heterosexual and got married and had babies. (age 54)

I think the reason young people today are more embarrassed by it is because they have had more privacy throughout their lives than was typical in your generation.

I have been caught masturbating on multiple occasions and this site has really helped me. I think you are doing a good thing giving kids and adults alike a place to ask questions about subjects that are taboo. I agree with most all of your views and would vote for you if you ran for dictator of the world (lol). (age 16)


My dad caught me masturbating fully naked on my bed. I was making sounds and everything. When he came in, he just apologized and left. Do you think he will tell anyone else? (age 14)

I don't think so. He seemed to be as embarrassed as you were.

One night, I stayed at a friends house. I hadn't masturbated for days and I needed it badly. At about 9 PM, my friend went in the shower. He said he would be about 15 minutes, so I thought this would be an ideal time to do the job. As soon as I heard the water running, I pulled my pants down to my ankles, put on a slideshow of topless girls on my phone and began to masturbate. I realized that if I ejaculated, it would go on his carpet and make it obvious what I was doing, so I reached across for his waste paper bin. Just as I was about to ejaculate, his mom walked in with some clothes that needed to go in his closet. She just stared at me as I sat and ejaculated into the bin, then left the room. She didn't tell my friend, but ever since that I have felt uncomfortable to go to his house. (age 15)

I understand why. It might be best to just go about acting normal.

Today, I was in my room watching porn and masturbating. Just when I was reaching my climax, my friend barged into my room and saw me naked. Thankfully he is a guy. (age 13)

You make the point that it's embarrassing to be caught masturbating, but it's even more embarrassing if the person is of the opposite gender.

I was masturbating the other day when my younger (by 1 year) sister walked in unannounced. We've seen each other naked before growing up and we have both discussed masturbating in the past so I wasn't particulary embarrassed. As she went to leave, she turned around and asked if she could watch. Given that she was obviously curious and that she was in her underwear, I told her it would be OK. The act of masturbating for someone, even if it was my sister, aroused me further . She was obviously aroused too as she began rubbing herself through the underwear. I soon ejaculated and she moved her head down to my penis. I asked what she was doing and she said she wanted to know what semen tasted like. I said that she couldn't and tried to explain about the possible health hazards (not to mention that its one thing to masturbate in front of your sister, and it's another to engage in a sexual act). She then got offended and started shouting that I thought she was "diseased" or something and stormed out. What should I do?

I think you should leave bad enough alone and never mention the incident again. You opened the door to all that by letting her watch.

My friends introduced me to the art of masturbating when I was 13. There were 4 of us that would try to see who would reach orgasm the fastest. One day when I was 15 I was home by myself (or at least I thought I was) when I was masturbating in my room naked and just lying there going nice and slowly. As the climax was getting closer and closer, I started to speed up and didn't hear that my mom and sister got home. My door was open to my room and my bed is at the farthest spot from the door and my door was the first one on the top of the stairs. I was getting to the point of no return when all of a sudden my mom and sister came up the stairs fairly fast and there I was naked and too far from the door and there was no way to stop from ejaculating when they both walked in. I wasn't sure what they were going to say but my mom said to my sister, "let's go and let him finish up." Which I did, but I wasn't sure how to handle it when I went downstairs to eat. Mom was pretty good; she just said you should close your door, but she also apologized for walking in without knocking. I thought that was pretty cool.


I was on the phone with my girlfriend, and we were having phone sex. I don't lock my door, because mom says to never lock my door. While we were having phone sex, she barged in on me, and I was completely naked and masturbating. She doesn't like my girlfriend either, and that made it worse. What do I do? I feel really insecure now. (age 15)

I would suggest to your mom that you're getting old enough where you need more privacy and would like to start locking your door. I think she'll understand.

I was in bed about to start masturbating when my dad walked in to say goodnight. I was under my covers but there is a mirror on the wall by my bed and obviously he saw something because he asked, "why are your pants off?" and I said, "they're not, goodnight anyway" hastily trying to get him out. Do you think he knew what I was doing? (age 13)

Yes, he absolutely knew what you were doing. Next time don't tell him he doesn't see what he sees. You could have said you were feeling hot (which you were, by the way).

Last night I was masturbating in my room with the lights out when my 11 year old brother walked in. He opened the door slowly, so I quickly got up and put my boxers back on. He said he just wanted to say goodnight and he didn't even ask why the lights were off or why I was so nervous. I guess that was a close one and I was lucky. (age 13)

You're assuming your brother wouldn't know masturbation if he saw it. The fact that he didn't say anything makes me think he did know. Even if he doesn't know now, he will obviously find out in the next few years, and he might think back to last night and how nervous you were. I think you are busted even if it hasn't been realized yet.

I've read a couple of times on here about people who were thinking of telling their parents they masturbate. How do these situations tend to work out?

I don't know, but I'll ask. Readers, do you have any answers? Please pass them along.

I woke up at about 3 a.m. today and felt a need to masturbate, so I went to the bathroom and did just that. I was trying to relax as much as possible to relieve stress, and I didn't catch the semen in toilet paper or anything. I thought I had cleaned up but apparently I didn't. My mom said she had to mop some stuff up off the floor and asked if I knew what it was. I just gave her a sort of confused look and said no. I know she knows it was me. She's making it really hard on me and embarrassing. What do you think I should do? (age 17)

Be more careful cleaning up. If it doesn't happen again, your mom will have no reason to mention it again.

I was masturbating in the bathroom (we dont have any locks in my house) and I share a bathroom with my 15 year old brother who I know also masturbates so I waited till everyone was asleep and went to the bathroom and shut the door. About 5 minutes later, my dad walked in. I freaked out. He saw me and shut the door and went back to bed. I'm so embarrassed still today. (female, age 13)

Probably not as embarrassed as your dad was. He will not say anything about it. Just be yourself.

During high school, I was on the basketball team. One night, after winning a game, our coach paid for a pizza/pop party. I drank way too many Dr Peppers. After the party, everyone went home, but I was still there because I had to wait for my dad to get me. I had to urinate really, really badly and definitely could not have made it to the rest room, so I went to the back of the school to do it. I decided to urinate on the back fire exit of the school. In the middle of my urination, one of my female teachers (she was one of the younger and definitely the hottest teacher we had) walked around to get to her car and saw me urinating on the fire exit door. She walked toward me, but because I had so much to let out, I could not stop. In addition, because of the volume, I had a complete erection. She just watched me (for about 30 seconds) until I stopped. At the moment, I was absolutely terrified because I was caught committing a misdemeanor, which could affect my college acceptance. I was so scared that after I finished, I just let my erection hang out. I was just frozen. For a moment, she just stared at my penis. Then she asked me if I was going to "put it back in the cage." Then she just told me to not do it again. She was really cool about it. She even ended up writing me a really good recommendation for college. I wish I had made a move on her that night. (age 20)

This is not exactly a story about being caught masturbating, but you gave me some good points to comment upon. First, you could have relieved yourself someplace that wasn't school property like the back door. Second, it is fairly rare that someone gets charged with a misdemeanor merely for urinating. Most people get into trouble for exposing themselves while they're doing it. Third, you could have called out to her what you were doing as she approached you so that she didn't come so close. Finally, making a move on her wouldn't have helped the situation one bit. She was at least five years older than you and you were one of her students. What you should have done was go to the coach or a vice-principal (a male one) the next day and told them what happened before they had a chance to get a report from her. It's always easier to survive a grenade attack when you're the one who pulls the pin.
Follow-up: Hey dude. That story was so obviously made up and was too stupid for words. I can't believe you answered it.

Yes, I know what you mean, but I believe part of it was true. Anyway, he gave me an opportunity to say what I wanted in response.

I'm a girl and my older brother walked in on me masturbating once when I thought I was alone and he looks at me at the dinner table with a ghostly stare now. I don't know what to do.

Just act as if nothing ever happened. Ask him to play a video game with you or something like that. If he sees you acting like it's not an issue, it won't be for him either. He has probably masturbated many, many times more than you have.

A few weeks ago, I was masturbating at around 7 at night when my sister who is 10 walked in. Thankfully I was fast enough to hide it in my pants. (age 13)

Good thinking, but if you think she completely missed your unusual maneuver, I have to believe you are wrong.

About a year or so ago, I began thinking about how my parents would react if they caught me masturbating. I thought that if I introduced them gradually to the fact that I looked at porn and such, it wouldn't come as such a shock to them. So I began by simply having posters of women on my PC wallpaper or up in my bedroom. Over the year, I moved up to scantily-clad women, then topless women, then fully-nude women and finally porn videos as a screensaver on my PC. My parents occasionally joked and teased but never complained or acted any differently.

OK, but the joking and teasing is exactly why people don't want others to know they masturbate.

A few years ago, I was taking a shower and decided to masturbate, so I grabbed a perfume bottle with the right shape. When I finished showering I forgot to take the bottle with me. My sister went in and saw it. She would tease me endlessly about it. I was so embarrassed! Then I said to myself, though it was your fault, it's perfectly normal, so don't worry about it and be more careful next time. (age 19)

Hooray for you!

Here are two stories that well illustrate the point of ejaculatory inevitability:

I often go on hikes along the river to camp for the night with a friend. Often there is nobody on the river so you swim naked and hang out on the bank. My friend and I are not gay but we like to swim naked and enjoy the outdoors and not worry about being seen by anybody. One day I was resting in the sun was fully erect and I started masturbating. So I couldn't hear well due to the wind. I was hitting climax when a man out hiking came down the river bank and I just noticed him at the last second. He asked, "does it feel good"? And then I ejaculated. He said to have fun with yourself. I jumped in the river and washed off feeling lucky not to get in trouble. I didn't feel embarrassed but it was weird to get caught. (age 16)

You are lucky it wasn't a woman or a family with children. They probably would have notified police and they would have started keeping a closer watch on your secluded river bank.

I was masturbating in the bathroom and I must've forgotten to lock it. I was about to orgasm and suddenly my mom came in. I was so surprised. I turned to face her, but I couldn't stop and ejaculated all over her pants and feet. She just closed the door without saying a word, and I've been avoiding her for 2 days now. What should I do? (age 14)

Don't do anything. Your mom knows she was in the wrong by going into the bathroom without knocking. I think she will be more careful from now on.


I caught my friend masturbating to porn in his room yesterday. He was freaked out when he noticed I had caught him but I said it was fine since I masturbate at least once a day. (age 13)

Why was there a delay between catching him and him noticing you had caught him? You should have left as soon as you saw what he was doing.

Once I got the biggest erection I have ever had in school so I went to the bathroom to masturbate. As I started going up and down, a girl walked into the wrong bathroom and saw me. Every time I see her now, i get an erection, and she has pulled down her shirt at me in the hallways. What does this mean? (age 12)

It means she liked what she saw. I think you now have a starring role in her sexual fantasies.

I went to my room to do some business. A little while later, my brother's girlfriend walked in on me and saw me masturbating. But she didn't leave right away. She watched me for a few seconds. What should I do? (age 17)

You probably shouldn't do anything, except get a lock on the door and use it when you're doing business in your room.

I was masturbating in my room with my door unlocked because I thought my mom was in the garage because the light was on. It turned out to be the neighbor bringing the snowblower back. She walked in on me and said "Oops, I'm sorry." Later she said it's OK and my dad does it too. (age 14)

It is shocking that your mom ratted out your dad like that, but at least you've learned she understands.

This is not about being caught, more about catching someone else. I opened my window to look at the stars. From my window, it's easy to see into the houses down the road, and I saw something moving. I saw a schoolmate of mine masturbating on his bed! It took a few minutes for me to realize what he was doing, and he saw me looking and just kept going. I got freaked out and shut my window, but now he gives me strange looks on the school bus. What should I do? (age 18)

Be very careful. What you described is a crime in some states (peeping), and you are an adult now. If you see something going on through someone's windows, look away sooner rather than later. Why not just smile at the guy and say, "how're you doing?"

A couple of months ago my 14-year-old brother walked in on me masturbating. I was naked and naturally I screamed at him to get out. My family is strongly Christian and my brother is very innocent and so he probably didn't know what I was doing. His school will have sex ed. and he will probably find out. I'm scared he will tell my mom and I may be kicked out for masturbating. He might not have seen it and there is no way I'm going to bring it up with him. I started to masturbate as a way of getting over being sexually abused by my cousin. I have a therapist but don't know if I can talk to her about this. (female, age 17)

If he saw, he knew what you were doing. He will not tell your mother, and if he does, I don't think you will be kicked out for masturbating. Anyway, it was a couple of months ago, so if he were going to tell, he would have done so by now. I completely understand that you don't want to talk to him about it, but you would do better to think of him as someone who has issues with masturbating himself (which he probably does) instead of someone who would judge you for masturbating. You can certainly talk to your therapist about your issues with masturbating, and it will almost certainly help to do so.

Today 2/26/10 I was in the bathroom and I just finished ejaculating. My mom walked in and I had semen all over my stomach and I was holding my iPod because I like to use my iPod after I masturbate to relax. She acted normal after seeing at the toilet, with my iPod in my hand. She told me to hurry because she had to use the toilet, so I acted normal and cleaned myself, so when I got in the shower she came in and acted like nothing happened. I'm scared because I knew I was gonna get busted one day and she is going to tell my dad and I think she will give me a discussion now. Any advice?

I think you should relax. You don't know for sure that she figured out you had been masturbating. Even if she did, I doubt she will tell your dad. And even if she does, who cares? If anything, it will make you worry less about being caught.

I'm kind of scared about being caught. I sort of want someone to catch me so I can get it over with. I looked in my mom's drawer and saw a dildo and condoms in my dad's. What do you think they'll say if they catch me masturbating? (age 13)

They seem like they're both positive about sex and masturbation, so I suspect they would be happy for you. There is no reason to want someone to catch you. You'd just be making them unnecessarily uncomfortable. Maybe you shouldn't complain so loudly if someone invades your privacy, since you're not too respectful of theirs.

A few months ago, I was masturbating on webcam to my boyfriend and my dad opened the door. I quickly pulled my hand from down my pants and turned around. I acted like nothing happened and so did he, but I'm not sure if he actually saw me doing it. Ever since, he's knocked on the door before entering and hasn't said anything about it. Did he see me? (age 13)

Since the incident led him to start knocking, I'm inclined to believe that he did see.

I thought I was alone and was masturbating just half an hour ago and my uncle walked in. He said not to worry about it and that practically every man does it. He left and now I'm worried about what I am going to say to him in the future. What should I do?

He thinks it's normal, and he wants you to think it's normal. You don't need to be embarrassed about masturbating. If anything, he should be embarrassed about walking in on you. You don't need to say anything about it, or worry about being around him.

How do all these people get the guts to masturbate and ejaculate in open places like on your bed when your parents are home? When I masturbate I either do on the toilet (which sounds stupid but you actually get a better orgasm) or in the bathroom. The only time I masturbate openly on the couch or on my bed is when I am home alone, and even then it's with a paper towel. (age 14)

I don't think it's about guts. It's about having a sense of privacy in your own bedroom, whether you have a lock or not, and where you feel best doing it. Most people don't alter their habits because they're afraid of being caught; they go ahead and do what they want in spite of the fact that someone might see them.

The other day, I was sitting on the toilet, masturbating. I heard footsteps, and then just dropped my hand to the side, without being wet, or anything. My dad then walked in. Do you think he knew what I was doing? (female, age 12)

No, he probably didn't. But you might ask him to be more respectful of your privacy anyway.

About an hour ago I was masturbating on the bathroom floor with and I thought the door was locked but it wasn't. I was really gettting into the zone and just when I was about to ejaculate my brother walked in. I couldn't stop the ejaculation and it went all over. He just looked at me and I was horrified. He just walked out the door. Now I've been avoiding him. What should I do? (age 14)

Just be normal. He probably masturbates as much as you do. If anything, he has more to be embarrassed about because he walked in on you without knocking.

A couple months ago I had to stay at my friend's house for a couple of days. He lives with his parents still, and I have known the whole family my entire life and are really close friends. I was taking some clothes to the guest room where I was sleeping and I thought that i was alone. I started masturbating furiously. Out of nowhere his mom came in and saw what I was doing. Instead of leaving she sat down with me and told me that I had nothing to be embarrassed about. Should I pretend like nothing ever happened or talk to someone? (age 19)

I don't think you have to, but it might be a good idea if you told your friend just so you can make sure he doesn't hear about it first from his mom.

Last week my friend and I spent the night over her house. I slept in the den and turned off the television to go to sleep on the sofa, then I heard her making noises down the hall. Knowing that she has asthma, I got up to see if she was OK. I knocked, but the door was slightly ajar so it swung open. She was lying naked on her bed masturbating and moaning. She yanked the covers up as soon as she saw me. I said sorry, then quickly bolted down the hall. I got back on the couch and barely got any sleep. I couldn't stop wondering if she would forgive me. (female, age 16)

It was mostly her fault for not having her door completely shut and partly your fault for not waiting for her to answer after you knocked. I think if you apologized for that, you would not need to say anything else.

Yesterday, I was drying off after taking a shower and was in my room. For some odd reason, I spread my legs widely apart and started touching myself, but I wasn't masturbating. I don't know what I was doing. My sister walked in on me and just said, "If you're gonna do that, close your windows," and left. Do you think she knows I masturbate? She hasn't mentioned it at all and everything was just the same after I was done changing. I love your site. It's really helpful!!(female, age 12)

Your situation comes down to definitions. By the definition used on this site, masturbation is stimulating your own genitals in order to increase sexual arousal. Since what you were doing was ordinary touching and not for purposes of arousal, it wasn't masturbation. But it looked like what many females do when they masturbate, and your sister thought so and also observed that people who could see through the window would think so too. Your question "do you think she knows I masturbate" tells me that you masturbate; if you don't, you would have said "do you think she believes I masturbate." So I think she believes you masturbate, and I think she believes so correctly.

The risk of getting caught makes masturbating even better. (age 15)

You have a right to your opinion, but most guys (and girls) I hear from say that the risk of getting caught makes it harder to enjoy masturbating.

When I was about 9, I was masturbating in bed. I glanced to my left and saw my grandpa staring at me and smiling. I screamed and jumped under the covers. He just laughed and walked out. Everything has been perfectly normal since. (age 14)

Normal is good.

I was masturbating on my bed and my two cousins walked in. I'm so embarrassed I can't face them anymore. (age 13)

If your cousins are older than you, they very likely masturbate themselves. If they are younger, they will be masturbating soon. They are probably as embarrassed as you are. Just don't make a big deal about it and continue as normal.

I've never been caught, but I've had a few close calls, and I hope to keep it that way. I've unknowingly left evidence at the scene a few times. I worry about the evidence being found. (age 22)

OK, but just be more careful about cleaning up evidence and you won't have to worry. Clean up means not only getting rid of applicable bodily fluids, but also lube bottles, visual aids, web sites, etc.

A couple of weeks ago I was masturbating in my room when my sister walked in. I was embarrassed but I couldn't stop masturbating. It was like my hand had a mind of its own. My sister stopped for a second and then started to talk to me about something that had happened to her that day. This continued for about a minute until I ejaculated. At this point she smiled and said, "I'll leave you to clean up." I've seen her naked a couple of times when she was been getting changed in her room. (She leaves the door open.) I should have stopped and asked her leave, but was her behavior odd? Was it her way of getting back at me for seeing her naked? (age 14)

I think you were both in the wrong but she is more wrong. She should have left when she saw what you were doing, and you should have stopped as soon as she walked in. Some people are so shocked by seeing something that they just pretend it didn't happen. That doesn't seem to be the case with your sister since she finally recognized her intrusion when you ejaculated. That leads me to think she wanted to watch. It doesn't seem like she was getting even because she doesn't bother to close the door. Perhaps you could remind her to do that.

I'm thirteen and I'm super terrified of being caught masturbating. I've been doing it since last year. I want to tell my mom that I'm masturbating, but I don't know what her reaction would be, especially because she grounds me for every little thing. I don't wan't to tell her because she might say something like "What are you doing why are you doing that you're grounded!" or something. What should I say to her?

I don't think you need to say anything. Your chances of being discovered are around 50-50. If you get discovered, she will probably not say anything about it. By bringing up the subject now, you are certainly making her uncomfortable and starting an awkward conversation. By doing nothing, your chances of ever having an awkward conversation like that are only about 20 percent. Don't tell her.

I was in reading class when I was 12 and I started getting horny because I was looking up porn on my phone. I was reading in the corner when I decided to pull my jacket over my knees and slip my hands in through the sleeves and masturbate. I closed my eyes as I looked at my phone when my teacher walked up and saw my penis hanging out of my jacket because it slipped off of my knees. It was extremely embarrassing. (age 14)

You brought that on yourself.

I was masturbating at 2 in the morning at the computer and my friend was sleeping and I think he saw me. (age 14)

There was no question in there, but I advise you not to say anything about it.

I was masturbating naked at my girlfriend's house while she studied, and her younger sister, who is 15, walked in. (I was told everyone had gone out which is why I was there, because her parents don't really like me.) She disapproved of my rolling away so she couldn't see me. She said, "you should've let me see." I was really embarrassed, and if she tells her parents, I will get in a lot of trouble! I haven't told my girlfriend about this yet. How should I deal with this situation? (age 18)

I suggest telling your girlfriend everything that happened. Leave it to her to decide whether to tell her parents. I suspect her sister won't tell them, but you want your girlfriend to know all the facts if she does.

I was once camping with my friend and her family when one morning I woke up later than everyone else so I was alone in the tent. I was feeling particularly horny so I slid my panties off and started sliding my fingers over my clitoris doing circles until I orgasmed really hard. It was already late so I quickly got dressed. An hour later my friend and I went to get changed for the beach and she put her hand in the mess I had made earlier because I left my sleeping bag open. She didn't say anything. Do you think she knows? (age 17)

Would you know if the situation had been reversed?

I was roommates with one of my best friends on a school field trip. There was one bed. She must've thought I was asleep, because she started masturbating. She did it every other night while we were there. I never said anything, and I don't know if she knows I know, but I still feel awkward around her now. I did it too on that trip, but only in the bathroom. (age 13)

Since you really weren't asleep and did nothing to let her know -- all you would have had to do was stir -- you must have wanted her to masturbate in front of you. You are probably feeling uncomfortable about that now. But you shouldn't be; your friend was taking a chance by masturbating in front of you, and you were taking a chance by pretending to be asleep. If she is one of your best friends, there is no reason to let this come between you. Now you know that you both masturbate, only she is a little more bold about it than you are.

Last year I was masturbating in my room and I was just about to ejaculate when my mom walked in. She said when I was done to clean up and come out. I was so mortified and humiliated when I came out. My dad and my mom were sitting there and I got the "it's natural" conversation. My dad got me some Playboys and lube and said to lock my door from now on. (age 16)

So is your life better as a result of being walked in on?

3 days ago I was masturbating with my door closed and my mom came in and said, "I'm sorry, I should have knocked." Yesterday my dad walked in on me masturbating late at night. He said, "oops" then told me I had to go to bed. They both knock when my door is closed and haven't said anything about it since. Is this a good sign? (age 12)

Yes, definitely. They understand and accept that you masturbate.

Back when I was around 13-15 my friends and I used to have sleepovers. This was around the time I started masturbating, and I couldn't help myself. One night while my friend was asleep, I just went at it and finished quickly. Later on we had another sleepover and he asked for some liquid soap. I asked what he wanted it for and he said "no reason." I knew what he was up to. From then on we talked about how we do it. For a while we just didn't care about what we did and even would share ideas as we masturbated together. We would even play truth or dare, where the dares usually involved one of us masturbating. Back then we were very cool about it, but as time went on the two of us went our separate ways. Now in the small chance that we hang out and that somehow comes up he refers to it as the forgotten era. He says he tries to block that time out of his memory, but I honestly don't care that we masturbated at the same time. (age 21)

I think the important thing to realize is that he feels differently about it than you do. I would urge you to respect his embarrassment and not mention your experience to him again.

I haven't been caught yet. I came very close though as I was masturbating on the couch and I heard my mom walking down the hall. I barely had enough time to zip up my pants as I was ejaculating in my pants. I may have been sitting in a weird position as I was ejaculating. Do you think my mom knows? (age 15)

She could probably guess that you masturbate based on your age, but I doubt she got any clues from that incident.

One time I asked my girlfriend over and we talked, played games, and whatnot, and she had to go to the bathroom, which is right next to my bedroom. I started to get horny and started to masturbate. I didn't hear her when she came out, and she walked in. She asked me if I wanted to have sex with her, but I was really scared and nervous, and now she talks about sex all the time, but I can't bring myself to do anything! What do I do? (age 18)

Either you become sexually active with her or you tell her you're not ready to become sexually active yet.

My door doesn't have a lock, but I have a "fort." I have all the room of the fort and my closet to masturbate in, and my parents haven't said anything, so they are either cool with it or don't know. This probably won't work for just anybody, but it might give you some ideas. (age 16)

I really think you are too old to have a fort. Most guys your age masturbate in comfort on their own beds and either take privacy precautions or are prepared to deal with the consequences of someone walking in.

About a year ago after school, I told my mom i wanted to stay in the car and do my homework. Shortly after I was erect and started masturbating. I saw my front door open but did not know who it was or if they saw me. What should I do? (age 15)

You should really stop worrying about it. It was a year ago and there is nothing for you to do.

I was at a relative's house on Cape Cod for a few weeks last summer. I slept in late one morning and I figured everyone was down at the beach already. I was really horny because I hadn't had any time alone for a few days so I figured I could sneak a masturbating session in before heading to the beach. I stripped off my boxers and grabbed a towel to take a shower outside and relieve myself. I had such an erection I just dropped my towel and started to masturbate, and just as I was about to ejaculate I heard my 12-year-old cousin and her friend giggling. I stopped jerking but it was too late and I couldn't stop it if I wanted to, and I ended up ejaculating all over the place. I frantically grabbed for the towel and ran for the shower worried they were going to tell my mom. I felt weird but no one ever said anything for the rest of the time we were there but my cousin and her friend made a point of hanging out with me and the older cousins every chance they could. I've seen my cousin at the holidays and other family gatherings since then and nothing has ever been said, but I still feel awkward around her. (age 15)

Never assume you are alone when you are in a semi-private place like an outdoor shower. Just be normal around your cousin. She was the one who was spying on you.

One night while I thought everyone in my house was asleep, I decided to play with my nipples and actually got turned on so I decided since no one was up that I would masturbate and when I did, I was at climax and was moaning a little loud and my mom walked in my room because my door wasn't locked. I wanted to die right then and there. (age 14)

Never assume everyone is asleep just because you aren't. Your mom knows that masturbating is normal for a girl your age.

My two little brothers and my cousin were wrestling and I was sprawled out on the bathroom floor masturbating and we have a problem with the lock on the door so they all ran upstairs and accidentally hit the door open and saw me. My little brothers don't know what I was doing but my cousin does. I was so humiliated I sat in the bathroom closet for about 30 minutes. When I came down my cousin kept saying "I know what you were doing" and I can't stop thinking of that moment when I saw their faces. I'm scared that any day now my little brothers will find out what I was doing. (age 13)

Your cousin knows what you were doing because he does it too. Yes, I think your brothers will soon know what masturbating is, but I don't think they will think any less of you for doing it.

I was in my room a few years ago with my back to the door, and my dad came in without knocking. I don't know if he saw or not because there was nothing awkward from him, but I felt awkward for a long time afterward, wondering if he saw or not. (age 17)

Either ask your dad if he saw, or stop feeling awkward. If you ask your dad, I can almost promise that he will have no idea what you are talking about, because it was a few years ago. You obviously still have issues about masturbating, because you didn't specifically say in your message that you were masturbating. It is not a dirty word. All men do it. I suggest you work on accepting masturbation as something normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for a male to do.

I was home alone one day and all of a sudden I really felt the urge to masturbate. I got naked on my couch in the living room and began to do it. I had gotten so into it and had accidentally turned the volume up on the porn I had on the TV too loud. I didn't hear my mom come home earlier than usual. I opened my eyes and saw her standing in front of me. I was mortified and I didn't even know what to do. I sat there for the longest seconds of my life simply frozen holding my shaft. She was not mad at all; she sat next to me and said everyone did it. We had never talked about it before so she explained a lot then. My erection came back as soon as she explained the vagina. I was so embarrassed. I tried to hide it right away. I noticed she was really uncomfortable but tried to ignore it and made the situation less embarrassing. (age 16)

I think that's a happy ending, but it would have been better if she had left as soon as she saw what you were doing and then talked to you about it later.

My brother walked in on me right now and he is the kind to tell my secret to anyone who can ruin my life. Please help. (age 14)

According to a survey of over 10,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, by age 14, 78.4 percent of males are already masturbating to orgasm. By age 15, it is 90.2 percent. It isn't the kind of secret that no one could figure out without him telling them. If he tells anyone, you can spin the report to make him look immature for telling. I fail to see how your life can be ruined by this revelation.

I was masturbating on my couch, and my girlfriend barged in right when I ejaculated. She looked at me and blushed/giggled and went back to her house. At first I was mortified but she came back with a hentai flick. We watched it and she tried to masturbate too. She sat on her hand and kept moving. She saw that I noticed and knew that it was OK and she got more comfy and moaned a few times. What should I do? (age 13)

I think you should read up on safe sex and be prepared for what she wants to do next.

My brother walked in but didn't say anything. I was still embarrassed. (age 17)

He was too.

When I was 11 and had been masturbating for about a year, I was in my room getting ready for the morning, and I still had my morning erection. I vaguely remembered a dream I had that night and was feeling kind of horny. I lay down on my bed and started masturbating. About halfway through, my mom barges in my door. She said, "what are you doing?" I said, "erm... I'm choosing which clothes I should wear!" Then she said "oh" and walked out. It was very embarrassing. (age 13)

That was a pretty weak thing to say, but I guess it didn't really matter what you said.

I was watching porn on my laptop and then I got naked and heard my brother coming up the stairs so I quickly shut the door and was putting on my dressing gown, when he barged in. I said I was going to sleep and getting in my pajamas and he asked why I would put them on in the middle of the day? I was so embarrassed! Do you think he knows what I was doing? (age 14)

If he didn't know, he probably could have guessed correctly.

I went camping with five of my friends a couple of weeks ago. At about 2 a.m. I went to the river because I couldn't sleep. I saw my buddy (14) masturbating naked on the ground. He looked up at me with a shocked face and he tensed and came. He ran past me back to the tents. We haven't spoken since. I've tried talking to him but he barely looks at me anymore. I've tried acting like nothing happened and I tried saying there's nothing wrong with it and that I do it too. He just won't talk anymore. Can you give me some advice? (age 15)

I think you've done all you can for now. Just hope he gets normal about it later. To keep from making it worse, don't tell anyone else about it.

A couple of days ago, I was masturbating and I forgot my aunt was coming over. I thought I would be alone for another hour so I took a video from my dad's collection and put it in. My aunt saw me and the TV and said "sorry, I'll knock next time." I saw her again yesterday but she didn't talk to me. Do you think she was upset with me or just embarrassed? I know I was. (age 14)

My guess is she didn't talk to you because she had something completely different on her mind. Just say hello next time and don't worry about it.

I go to college a few states away from home, so when my parents couldn't get me for a few days after the dorms closed, I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house about two hours away from my school. I was 100% sure that no one was home. There were no cars, so I locked myself in the guest room where I was staying and retrieved my vibrator from its hiding spot deep in my luggage. I went slowly, and after about ten minutes there was a knock on the door. My cousin who is 16 called in and said that she knew what I was doing. Later that night there was a note under my pillow asking if she could use my vibrator or if I could buy her one. I feel very awkward purchasing it for her, and even odder letting her use MINE, but I also want to help her out. (age 18)

I can understand your position either way. Your cousin was not being particularly helpful or straightforward the way she went about it. She is not being very grown-up or respectful the way she approached you about it. Personally, I would get a vibrator for her (with her money).

I was once caught. My mum walked in and just said to me, "ahh, I knew one day I would discover you." The next day, I found 2 Playboy magazines and a bottle of lube on my bed. Mums are cool.

At least yours is.

I was just caught masturbating an hour ago by my dad with my pants at my ankles when he suddenly walked in right at ejaculation. I was alone in my room looking at pictures and I decided to masturbate, and I forgot to lock the door, and as soon as he walked in, I ejaculated. It was the best ejaculation of my life, but I was completely embarrassed. He explained that it is perfectly normal and that he still masturbates too. I still feel embarrassed. (age 15)

Your dad doesn't want you to be embarrassed. I'm sure you didn't tell him it was the best ejaculation ever, but I want you to keep having ejaculations that will top that one, and so does he. There is no reason to say anything else about it.

Is it ironic that 2 hours after visiting this site, I almost got caught by my dad? (age 15)

Ironic means contrary to what one would expect. I expect that most people would be less anxious about being caught masturbating after reading this page and therefore less likely to take measures to keep from being caught. So I don't think it's ironic.

My brother caught me fingering myself and watching porn. I'm so embarrassed. He won't speak to me. He hasn't spoken to me for days. My vulva was lubed up and I was having a screaming orgasm when he walked in on me. I begged him not to tell anyone and I was in tears. Fingering myself feels so good but I'm really upset about my brother's reaction. What should I do? (age 13)

He was probably as embarrassed as you were. I think you might just tell him you're not mad that he walked in on you the other day.

I was in the shower and I suddenly got horny so I started masturbating. My big sister got in the shower with me when I was just seconds from orgasm. She knows what I was doing because she said, "it's OK for you to finish because you're probably close to it." I was scared that she would be freaked out and tell people what I was doing. What should I do?! (female, age 13)

Your sister obviously approves, and you can be certain she does it too. You don't need to worry about her telling other people. However, she should have left the shower as soon as she saw that you were masturbating. If you say anything, it should be to point out that she should have respected your privacy.

My mom just recently caught me masturbating. She told me it was perfectly fine. I want a vibrator but don't know how to ask her and don't have older friends that would get me one either. (age 12)

I think you're too young for one, but why can't you ask your mom? She's cool about masturbating.

Last year I bought condoms. I go to a Catholic school so they don't teach you how to put one on or even what it is, so I bought some and decided to try them out. I masturbated with one, and threw it away after I finished, but neglected to deal with the wrapper and my dad found it. I was embarrassed but didn't say anything. A few days later driving home we talked about it. Parents can be cool but if in doubt dispose of all evidence was the lesson I learned. (age 16)


My best friend dared me to ejaculate into a bottle and I did. I hid it under my bed until the next time he comes over. My dad looked under my bed and discovered the bottle. Did he know what I had been doing? (age 14)

If he opened it and smelled it, then he is 100 percent sure you ejaculated into the bottle.

When I was 12 or 13 years old, I was masturbating in my room with the door shut and lights off. My dad came in with no knock or anything like that and I was underneath the covers, but from the waist down I was naked. I should have pretended I was asleep but when he walked in he said, "Your blankets are all over the place, sweetheart. I'll tuck you in again!" I said I was fine, but he took off the covers and there I was ... no pants on and totally exposed!!! I was absolutely mortified!!! When he saw me he screamed at me, "What are you doing?!?!??! Put your pants back on and stay awake!!! Wait until your mother gets home from work!! We are not done talking about this!!!" Then he left slamming the door. I was extremely upset and thought I did something terribly wrong. Thankfully, when my mom came home, I heard them talking and my dad was so upset. My mom explained to him that I was fine and it was normal for me to try new things. She told him it's perfectly fine for girls my age to masturbate. I was so happy after hearing her say that!! She told me the next day that it was OK and I am a normal kid!! And not to be afraid of my father -- he doesn't understand girls! I still couldn't look at my father for months. He never brought it up again and that's fine with me!! HealthyStrokes.com is wonderful -- it keeps the people who have been caught at ease. Thank you! (age 25)

Thank you, too! That's a great story with a happy ending.

I was masturbating to some porn the other day and my stepbrother walked in on me. He said it was OK and he does it all the time too. He said he didn't mind if I did it in the living room because he would leave me alone. It was the best orgasm in my life. (age 16)


My mom caught me today masturbating in my room. She told me I was too young to masturbate and not to do it because it was disgusting. Then she asked me if I would like to go to the store with her. I said no and now I'm just sitting here a little embarrassed. (age 12)

I'm sorry your mom thinks it's disgusting. If you read some more of HealthyStrokes.com, you'll learn it's normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for a male to do. The average age males start masturbating is 12 1/4. You're definitely not too young. There's no reason to be embarrassed. You were just doing something normal.

My teacher Ms. Rodriguez was wearing the tightest shirt ever. She was turning me on. When she called a bathroom break, I couldn't wait to get into a stall and masturbate. I was caught by my friend because he looked over his stall. It was embarrassing because I was ejaculating. Is this normal? (age 17)

Yes. You're the third one of Ms. Rodriguez's students I've heard from today. Apparently that shirt was the bomb.

The other day I was caught masturbating by my mom in the kitchen. I was having online sex with my girlfriend. I'm SO EMBARRASSED. I don't know what to say or do. So far I have just acted normally and gotten on with things. I feel I should tell my mom the reason why I was doing it. It's been a year since I've had sex with a girl! I'm not sure what to do. Help me!! (age 25)

You are an adult and should not be having computer sex in your mother's kitchen. I suggest taking this activity into a private space. If your computer doesn't move from the kitchen, then I suggest phone sex instead. There is no reason to give your mother an explanation. It would only make her more embarrassed about the whole thing.

One day I was masturbating in my bathroom. The door has a gap in it to where you can peek through it, I always fear my parents would look through that. Then my dad opened the door and had a quizzical look on his face and he closed the door. I hate it because I never get any privacy and my parents always burst in without knocking in the bathroom or my bedroom. Do you think he caught me in the action or if he heard me shaking the toilet from it and was wondering what I was doing? (age 13)

I think the only important thing here is that he saw you masturbating because he did not respect your privacy. I think it's time to insist on a rule whereby parents knock before coming through a closed door.

I was masturbating and right when I was ejaculating, my 16-year-old brother barged in. I stopped immediately. I was freaked out. What do I do? I don't think he saw anything. (age 14)

I have to believe he saw what you were doing. He masturbates too, you know. I don't think you need to say anything.

I was watching porn and masturbating at my family's computer by the front door. I had just ejaculated into a tissue and turned off the porn when my dad all of a sudden pulled up in his car. He was opening the door as I hid the tissue and my penis quickly. I don't think he saw, but do you think he figured out what I was doing? (age 15)

No, but he knows that almost all boys masturbate at your age. It doesn't make any difference if he was wondering if you were masturbating right before then.

I have been masturbating for quite some years now. I tend to get so engrossed in the act that I don't realize when people are walking in. Last week my first cousin, who is a year older, caught me red-handed when she walked into my room without knocking. She just stared for a few moments and burst out giggling and rushed out of my room. The worse part is she told her older sister, who is 19, and now whenever they come over, they always tease me about it. How can I put a stop to this? (age 16)

Well, it has only been a week, so the most likely thing is the joke will get old and they'll stop talking about it. Your cousin is the one who is at fault here -- she came into your room without knocking. She should be more embarrassed than you. You could point that out and maybe if your cousins aren't as immature as you describe, they will get the message.

I masturbated exactly once, when I was 7. My mom caught me and yelled at me very angrily, "stop that and go wash your hands." I did and we went through the day normally. I didn't masturbate again until puberty but now it is a daily habit. I'm scared what she'll do/say if I get caught now. Was she just mad because I was only 7? (age 15)

I think that whole incident needs to be forgotten. It has no bearing on your life now. Even if your mother disapproves of your masturbating, are you really going to stop? When you are 7, you do a lot of things because your parents want you to -- take piano lessons, play with certain friends, wear certain clothes. When you are 15, you do them because you want to.

I masturbate twice a day, in my bed, when my family is downstairs. Up until today, I thought they didn't hear me. Today, after masturbating, I went downstairs and my 12-year-old sister asked me if I had been "jerking off." I told her no, but I know she knows I masturbate. I'm just a little embarrassed. (age 14)

Don't sweat it. Since you masturbate twice a day, practically any time you come downstairs, you have been masturbating recently. Your sister probably just learned the word and wanted to needle you about it. She probably didn't see or hear anything. And she's probably already trying to masturbate herself.

I was masturbating in the middle of the day and my sister wanted to use the bathroom. She knew I was in there and yelled my name. I didn't hear her. I ejaculated and wiped up and got out and she was mad at me saying you didn't hear me. I said I was using the toilet. She said she heard wrestling. She is 17. Do you think she knows what I was doing? (age 14)

There is better than a 50 percent chance.

About 2 months ago was nearly caught. I invited my female best friend to my home, but she told me it was unlikely she would come and that she would call me before she left her house. Thinking I didn't have to worry, I began pleasuring myself on the couch. Maybe half a minute into it, I saw her just down the street from my house so I bolted to my room. I tried to finish masturbating in there, but she let herself in and knocked on my door. I told her that I was changing and not to come in. I was severely blue balled at this point, so I ran out the door and she never found out. Of course, she assumes I masturbate because I'm a boy. (age 15)

Correctly, it turns out.

A few months ago while in the shower, I was masturbating and apparently was very loud. After I got out, my mom said she heard very quick slapping sounds outside the door and told me that I shouldn't do that. I just denied it and said that I was slapping my legs to make music. It still bothers me, and sometimes my stepfather says that he thinks I am masturbating because I take 15-minute showers. I think that they know I am doing this, but I am unsure. (age 15)

They both suspect you of masturbating in the shower. They are both correct. I don't see any reason for you to do anything different.

The other day I was bringing myself to orgasm in my room with the door locked. My mom came upstairs and tried opening the door without knocking but she freaked out because it was locked. I lock my door since I get no privacy but get in trouble about it. What should I do? My brother and stepdad respect my privacy and get privacy themselves. But not me. (age 14)

Why don't you tell your mom what you just told me, except the part about bringing yourself to orgasm?

The other day I was masturbating in my room. I was just about to ejaculate when my sister walked in. I couldn't stop myself from ejaculating and then she just laughed and said it was OK because she does it too. (age 16)

You're lucky to have an understanding sister.

I was caught by my older sister while masturbating in the living room watching "Three's Company"! I was about 18 or 19 and my sister was 24 or 25. Just as I started to ejaculate, my sister walked in the front door unexpectedly, She stopped right there, staring right at my erection until I finished ejaculating. Then she just went into her bedroom. (age 42)

I hope she learned to "come and knock on [y]our door."

Recently I got hard in the morning so I masturbated but my dad knocked on the door. I pulled my underwear up and opened the door and he told me something but when he left, I found out I had a tent in my underwear the whole time. Do you think he knew what I was doing? (age 15)

If he saw, he would have noticed your erection, but that doesn't mean he thought you were masturbating. But if he did, he was right.

The other day I caught my 16-year-old stepsister masturbating. She is hot, and I just told her, "There's nothing to be embarrassed about." Yesterday i was lying naked in the middle of the bathroom fantasizing about her and she walked in naked to have a bath. She came over and sat on my stomach. She said exactly what I said the day before, (in a stupid voice) "There's nothing to be embarrassed about." and we both started laughing naked in the bathroom. After that and again today we masturbated together. We should be boyfriend and girlfriend, but how should we break this to our parents? (age 15)

They are the ones who brought two sexually charged adolescents to live under the same roof, so I guess whatever happens is of their making. Why not just start going out together, like to movies or other events, and I suppose they will figure it out eventually.

Today I was masturbating. I don't have a vibrator, so I was using my electric toothbrush. I had it on my clit, and I forgot to lock the door. I was nearing orgasm when my mom just barged in, looked at me and said "oh ... I'm sorry." Then she left but kept the door WIDE OPEN. And my sister walked by, stared, winked at me and closed the door. Then I heard them laughing and my sister saying "well, it's normal ... I don't blame her." And I'm still embarrassed. (age 13)

At least you found out your mom and sister both do it too.

My penis grew before the rest of my body. When I was 14, I was about 5 feet tall, but I had already grown to the 6 inches I have today. At the time I was able to perform oral sex on myself which I did only occasionally. In conversations with friends, the topic came up, and a couple of friends learned that I was capable of doing that. My one friend's 16-year-old female cousin would spend the summer out in the country at my friend's house. One night we were playing truth or dare and I was dared to show them what I could do. I decided not to do it in front of them, and I managed to sidestep that without too much of a fight. Later that night, when I went home, I was pretty aroused and decided to go for it. I took off all my clothes and got going in my first floor bedroom. I did this by lying on my back and pulling my legs up over my head, and I was able to get about two inches in my mouth. I was very close to an orgasm when I heard giggling outside the window. I looked and saw the silhouettes of three faces watching me, and I just exploded in my mouth for what seemed like a full minute, which I had never done before. To this day, it is one of the best orgasms I have ever had. When I was finished I just brought my legs down and lay there completely spent. Needless to say, I was embarrassed around my friends for a while, but I would get an occasional remark that would indicate envy. I was never asked to perform it again, and by the time I was 16, I was physically no longer able since I grew allmost a foot in 2.5 years. When and while you have have opportunity to perform oral sex on yourself, I recommend it as a great form of self-exploration. I am straight and happily married with kids, and I look back fondly on when I could do that. Sometimes getting caught, although embarrassing, can be quite exciting. (age 41)

Thanks for sharing. Wardell Pomeroy wrote that only one male in 1000 can perform autofellatio, and that even for that few, it is not a common method of masturbating.

One day I got turned on so bad I couldn't wait another minute to masturbate. So I went in my room and masturbated, and I ejaculated so much that you could actually smell it. My brother knocked on my door and came in (he thinks if you knock it's OK to come in, even though I don't give permission) and he saw me and sniffed and said, "smells like teen spirit." I was majorly embarrassed, but I still had to chuckle at what he said, who wouldn't. But he told me it's OK to do it, and that he does it too. (age 16)

I would tell him to wait until you say come in before he comes in.

The other day I was talking with a friend at his house, and he told me he used liquid lube. He handed me the bottle and said to try it. I took it home and later that night I decided to give it a try, and it was awesome. I was sitting on the edge of my desk chair and started rubbing the lube around. I was about to orgasm when my 16 year brother barged in and saw me, but I just couldn't stop. He asked me if it was a good one and could he use the lube. I started to cover up and he said don't worry about because he does it all the time. Then he said maybe he could take care of that for me sometime. I was embarassed and told him to get out, but I was turned on by the idea. I really like girls alot, but I was turned on by my brother's idea. Does that make me gay, and do other brothers do that with each other? (age 14)

It's good that you like the lube and are pretty OK with being caught. Your brother might just have been kidding about masturbating together. Not very many brothers do. It wouldn't necessarily make you gay if you did, but you would be less likely to believe yourself to be straight. Having sex with your brother is much more heavily frowned upon than other sexual relations. It would still be a tough decision for you if the other male were not your brother. I would say don't do it with your brother.

Why are 90% of the stories I read on the "caught masturbating" page the "just as I ejaculate" kind of thing? (age 11)

Being discovered during ejaculation or at the point of ejaculatory inevitability makes it nearly impossible to make it look like you were doing anything else; you were masturbating and the other person saw. If you're discovered earlier in the process, it's easier to cover up or pretend you were doing somethings else.

When I was 15 I got caught masturbating by my 13-year-old brother. I still am mad about it because I was in my ensuite bathroom with both the bathroom door and the bedroom door locked. My house has the doors that you can unlock with a small screwdriver from the outside. I am mad that even with all the precautions I took, I still got caught. (age 16)

I think you're mad because your little brother aggressively invaded your privacy. Why not let him know how you feel? Don't be surprised if he's forgotten the whole thing by now.

I am in Europe with my family on vacation. My parents went out to dinner near the hotel and my 17-year-old brother went to the hot tub and sauna. I thought I was free and had not had any privacy in a few days. I had on my iPod and was in my room and got naked and started to masturbate. My parents, who had keys for both of our rooms, came back because my dad forgot his wallet. He opened the wrong door, and both my parents walked in. I did not see or hear them because the bed was around the corner from the door and I had my iPod on. I was really going at it when I caught my dad out of the corner of my eye. I just rolled over since there was no blanket on the bed. He stopped my mom from coming and apologized and said he was looking for his wallet. Then he said not to worry and to enjoy myself, and he would see me in the morning. That was really embarrassing, but I guess he didn't care. (age 14)

Oh, but he did care. That's why he stopped your mom from coming in and told you not to worry and enjoy yourself. I would advise readers to avoid hyper-focusing with headsets or at least to chain the door.

I usually masturbate at night when my parents and brother are asleep but my parents have gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. They used to check on me and if my door was closed, they wouldn't bother knocking. Twice now they have come in while I was masturbating. They didn't see anything other then me sitting in bed with no shirt and a blanket up to my chest. Nowadays they knock. I'm not sure if they knew what I was doing but maybe I should get a lock. (age 15)

They didn't see anything, but perhaps they were aware they were having a close call and wanted to avoid coming in and seeing actual penile stroking. I think you need a lock less than most of the people your age who write.

I have a lock and I masturbate very often. I leave the door halfway open because they don't let me close it or lock it. I tell them to respect my privacy and they ask why would I need that. I just keep saying that sometimes I need to be alone, but I think they sort of know I masturbate and they don't let me have my computer in my room. (age 14)

It might help to start playing noisy music or video games so they will tell you to close your door.

I was masturbating the other day. I was on the edge of orgasm and I saw my dad coming down the hall. It made my orgasm very intense, thinking he might see, so I continued. I think he might have seen. How should I approach him now? (age 20)

You are an adult and should take responsibility for your actions. You decided to keep masturbating even though you knew your dad could see. The prudent thing would have been to stop and cover up. I would apologize for doing something with the door open that you should have done in private.

One time I was masturbating in my bedroom and my mom walked in at my climax. I ejaculated all over the computer screen. She insisted that I clean it up. Is this a good thing? (age 15)

The good thing is that she will never again walk in without knocking. Or use your computer.

Once after I was playing my 360 I lay on my bed and started feeling the urge. I sat up and started masturbating with my cell phone. Right when I was about to ejaculate, my dad walked in. I pretended to be on an important high school football call. He bought my story and left. Now I am painfully scared to masturbate(even when I'm home alone). What should I do? (age 14)

Your dad didn't "buy your story," but he thought it best to leave. He knew what you were doing. He knows you masturbate. You have nothing to be afraid of anymore.

I was caught just a half hour ago for the first time ever. I can't believe this happened. I thought my mom was sleeping for a long time, but she managed to not make any noise and came to the kitchen for water, and she saw my bedroom light on and went in without knocking. I'm not ashamed because I'm 16 and this is a normal thing but I'm mad because she should have knocked on the door first. Now I'll finish what I started and hope next time she will respect my privacy. (age 16)

Now she knows why it's important thats she do that.

I was busy busting it in my house. Right before I reached climax, my older brother walked in and looked at me funny and asked me where I got my lube because I was completely naked and all lubed up. I caught him masturbating before. We both do it a lot so I just told him the truth that I was using baby oil from the bathroom. I got scared he would tell when my mom asked where all the baby oil went but he's a cool brother and he didn't. (age 13)

Did you ever think maybe your mother keeps baby oil on hand for just that reason?

I was masturbating fully naked on the couch in the living room when my 16-year-old brother walked in with two of his friends. I sat there with the dildo frozen. Now our relationship isn't the same. What do you think I should do? (age 14)

I think you could stand to apologize for doing in the living room what you should have been doing in private. Keep in mind that he and his friends probably masturbate more often and have been doing it longer than you have.

I think my step-dad knows I masturbate. He's made comments such as "That was a really long shower." I think in the past he has stumbled upon my web history on my computer and found some of the sites I go onto. I'm really afraid he'll tell my mom. What do I do? (age 12)

The only thing I'm sure of is that your stepdad has masturbated thousands of times more than you have. When he comments on the shower, you might mention that the water pressure was lower than usual so you had to work to get the soap off. It's a good comeback.

My family has a membership to a swim club, and my younger brother and I were there a couple of days ago. It was late in the day and kind of cool out and after getting out of the pool, we decided to use the shower to warm up. My brother is 14 and our friend is 15. We were in the shower warming up when my brother and our friend started pushing each other around and smacking each other. It was all just fun and our friend smacked my brother's butt pretty hard which we all laughed about. Then I noticed my brother was getting aroused and instead of hiding it he got some soap and started stroking it and laughing. Our friend immediately started doing the same thing. They started egging me on which got me aroused. The next thing I knew we were all stroking ourselves and we all started ejaculating around the same time. It was weird and exciting all at the same time. I have never done that before or even thought about it. It was almost like we were just taken over by something because we are not like that. I don't plan on doing it again, but the orgasm was intense and exciting. Should I be concerned that I am some kind of pervert? (age 16)

No, but be glad no one walked in on that. You all could have gotten into a lot of trouble for masturbating as a group in a public shower room.

A few years ago I had a penis injury and had several medical issues because of it. I had many tests done including an ultrasound of my penis. A woman technician did the test. I was erect the whole time. I was very embarrassed but incredibly turned on at the same time. I thought I would climax any second, but then the test was over. She said she'd give me some privacy and handed me a towel and put the ultrasound lube on the bed next to me. She said she'd be back in about 10 minutes. When she left I couldn't help but masturbate, and just when I was orgasming, she walked back in with another female employee. I couldn't stop and ejaculated everywhere. They just smiled and stood there a second and then walked out. I was so embarrassed when they both walked me back to the lobby. On the way I said I was sorry about 10 times. They both said it was expected and it was OK. I never heard anything else about it, so I guess they didn't tell my mom. (age 24)

I don't think she was expecting you to masturbate when she left the room. She probably gave you the towel so you could clean the ultrasound lube off your body. Even so, you probably weren't the first guy who's ever done it. Me, I had a scrotal ultrasound when I was about your age. It was done by a male immigrant technician, and there was very little contact with my penis, which remained flaccid throughout the test.

I share a room with my sister and sometimes it's hard to find any privacy. I thought she was sleeping so I started masturbating. When I reached orgasm, she got out of bed and said "it's OK, keep going" and went to the bathroom. I couldn't stop and I know she saw me ejaculate. When she came back, I said I was sorry. She said it was no big deal. She knew I do it at night and it doesn't bother her. She said sometimes it makes her want to do it after I'm done. Is it normal for this to make me excited? I don't wanna have sex with my sister, but knowing she knows and does it too is a turn-on. (age 17)

Yes, I understand why you would find that sexually exciting. I think nearly everyone would. However, it is a very bad idea for male and female siblings past puberty to share a bedroom. Your case certainly illustrates why.

I was masturbating in my room and after I finished my mom walked in as I was pulling my shorts up. I think she saw me. She asked if I was OK. I think the reason for that was my computer was loud and there was a moan. Do you think she caught me? (age 13)

Probably not. If she knew you were masturbating, she wouldn't have asked if you were OK.

Yesterday my dad walked in on me masturbating and I saw a smile on his face. Do you think he is proud of what I've done? (age 14)

You'd have to ask him. No doubt he approves of it.

I was about to do my homework when I began masturbating. I closed my door and said "I have homework to do," but my dad walked in on me with my shorts down and he smiled in an odd way and asked in a funny voice what I was doing. I said "my homework," and he sarcastically nodded. Do you think he's angry with me? (age 12)

No, he's not a bit angry with you, but he also knows you hadn't started on your homework yet.

Follow-up: I recommend guys masturbate when they're home alone, in the toilet or at night, under the covers. An excuse I used in the summer was "I'm keeping the door closed so the cold air from the A/C can stay in." Thanks for reading and your site is epic!

Those are strategies to avoid being caught, but once your parents have figured out that you masturbate, you don't need to engage in subterfuge. Your parents know to knock now. Just masturbate whenever you feel like it, behind a closed door.

I was in my girlfriend's bathroom masturbating, and her mom walked in. She froze and just left. What should I do or say? I'm scared that she's gonna tell my girlfriend, and I don't want her to break up with me after finding out I was playing with myself in her bathroom. (age 14)

If you tell her yourself, you don't have to worry about her mom telling her. Also, you can tell the story from your own point of view. Then when her mom says to her, "April, you'll never believe what I saw Danny doing yesterday." She'll reply, "I already know, mother. He told me everything." And then her mom won't even tell her. Anyway, she's probably as embarrassed as you are and won't say anything.

A couple of years ago I was going at it late at night thinking everyone was asleep and when I was in the throes of ejaculation, my 15-year-old brother walked in unannounced. I acted normal so he didn't realize what I was doing and I came through my boxers. It was my closest call and now I'm even more careful. (age 19)

Your brother almost assuredly masturbates too. He probably knew what you were doing.

I find myself as an adult male living with my parents. I'm 19, but feel very much like a teen yet. On numerous occasions my mom has caught me masturbating, even though the door was blocked and I said "privacy please." She doesn't like what she sees. Each time I remind her I'm an adult and would appreciate being left alone. She is never ok with it and yells at me about it with other family members present! It's embarrassing! I ignore her or tell her that I am a grown man and should be able to do as I want.

Though I look at gay pics, I find myself growing more attracted to women, so I'll be looking up those sites as I masturbate.

I think moving out of the house would be a good option for you. You have repeatedly told her the things I would have told you to say. It appears to me that she goes beyond merely disturbing your privacy and instead intentionally interrupts you so she can keep you from masturbating. I think you have other sexual issues because you tacked on a mention of gay pics to a question that supposedly dealt with something else. You might find a support group dealing with questioning sexuality who can help you work through these issues. You might find that your issue with gay pics is somehow related to your mother's interruptions.

I thought that I had the whole weight room at school to myself in the morning before school after the other occupant, a really hot girl, got off the treadmill and left. I kept lifting, but I had a huge urge to masturbate. I pulled down my sweats a little to start it, and I was close to orgasm when a gym teacher walked in earlier than expected. He noticed me and quickly walked out. What do I do? (age 18)

You had no expectation of privacy in the exercise room, especially one that is used by both genders. You ought to apologize to that teacher for behaving inappropriately in the weight room and find out if he's told anyone else.

I was at my girlfriend's house sleeping the night before going on vacation with her family. I got really horny that night and wanted to be risky. I began to masturbate and as I was doing it, I felt my heart beat faster and everything felt good. I finally ejaculated and couldn't find where it had gone. I gave up and went to sleep and the next morning when I arose, my girlfriend's 14-year-old sister was in front of me. It had gotten on her pillow that happened to be in the room where I had masturbated. She asked what it is and I said I don't know. She said I think you do and asked me not to go on her pillow ever again. Should I worry she will say something to her parents or in worst case my girlfriend? (age 17)

I suggest telling your girlfriend before she hears about it from her sister or parents. Your girlfriend is apt to think it's a funny story.

I agree with the guy whose dog caught him and now he thinks the dog looks at him weird. I swear my dog looks away if I'm changing or she opens the door with her nose when I'm masturbating. (age 13)

I don't think she'll tell anyone.

I don't get it. All these people get caught masturbating in the shower? Why would anyone come into the bathroom if they knew you were in the shower anyway? (age 13)

Imagine a household where there are a lot of people and only one bathroom. Lots of people would sneak into the bathroom on the idea that the person in the shower wouldn't notice them. This backfires when the person in the shower is masturbating and the sneaking person as a result makes more noise than they planned while they get out. It's nice to be in a household with a small persons-to-bathrooms ratio.

I was watching beach volleyball and my erection was geting really hard seeing the sexy babes. So I began stroking my erect penis as I stared and in seconds I ejaculated. I turned and saw my maid servant wathing me. (age 18)

I deduce that you have a life of pleasure: You live near not only a beach, but one populated by sexy babes worthy of intense staring. You also have a maid servant. One of the disadvantages of having servants is that it means more people are around who are apt to witness impulsive behavior. But I don't see what your problem is. Do you worry that the upstairs maid will tell mater and pater what you were doing? You are an adult and masturbating is perfectly normal.

My mom found me masturbating on the living room. Now I'm afraid to look at her. What should I do? (female, age 14)

I think you should look at her. I don't think she will say anything, but it would be a good idea if you only masturbated in private.

I haven't had sex with anyone, but I have had masturbation. Have I broken my hymen? (age 24)

Some internal methods of masturbating will break your hymen but external masturbation won't.

I used to masturbate in the shower because my room is across the hall from my parents, and I was worried about messing my sheets and making noise. One day my mom left a box of tissues on my night stand with a note saying, "These aren't just for your nose. You can enjoy yourself more and save a lot of soft water. I now keep K-Y in my drawer since I know I have their approval. Why do dads let moms handle this? (age 15)

That's a really good question...

I can relate to the reader who has a room across from his parents. Now that my parents know that I masturbate, from time to time I will make my bed squeak with a nice slow rhythm. I get very turned on by the fact that they know what I'm doing. (age 16)

That's not honorable. If your bed happens to squeak, don't worry about it, but you shouldn't be putting on a sound show for other people, least of all your parents.

I am home from college, and over Christmas break I walked down into our finished basement after getting home from a friend's house, and I found my younger brother who is 15 sucking his own penis. I was shocked and stood there staring at him in disbelief. I have heard of this but did not think it was really possible. When he realized I was there, he quickly stopped and tried to pull a blanket over himself. He was really embarassed and I think he might have started to cry. I just uttered some feeble "oh it's ok, don't worry about it." We have not spoken much since. We have always had a good relationship and I really don't care if he masturbates that way. I would like to clear things up before I go back to school. I have to admit that I cannot get the image out of my head. Whether it was my brother or any other guy, it was a very erotic thing to see. What should I do? (female, age 18)

I suggest apologizing to your brother that you didn't leave immediately once you saw what he was doing. You might want to top-spin it by adding that you're sure that anyone as talented as him would have no trouble forgiving you.

My family recently moved. In college I just masturbate when my roommate isn't around, and I am able to conceal the sound. At my old house, I had my own bathroom ensuite and was able to masturbate in there. Now my bedroom and bathroom are right across the family room. My 16 year old brother stays up very late in there and my mom and sister often stay up as well. I really want to use my vibrator, but I have no place to go.

You are an adult and should be able to masturbate with a vibrator without interference from others. It probably isn't as loud as you think. Even if they heard it, they probably wouldn't say anything about it.

Yesterday I caught my 15 year old brother masturbating. I quickly shut the bedroom door. I later told him that what he was doing was totally cool and not to worry. From reading HealthyStrokes.com, I know I did the right thing. By the way, hats off to you. I love and suggest your site. (age 18)


I was once masturbating in a stall in my school bathroom, but before I started, two guys just left, OR SO I THOUGHT. After I was about done, I started to hear my name whispered. He asked me if I was masturbating, I said no, and he said he will tell everyone I did. If anyone at my Christian school finds out, I may come close to killing myself. How do I get him to just forget about it? Threaten to make up rumors about him? That's worked once for a different situation. (age 15)

Just forget about it yourself. Nearly all of the males and at least half of the females at your school masturbate regularly. There is little or no punch to telling people that one of your number masturbated. Most people would think he's a loser for telling. If you really feel cornered, you could tell him that you will tell people that he was spying on you in the bathroom stall.

Lately while masturbating, I've been worrying that my mom or sister will catch me. How can I enjoy masturbating without worrying about being caught? (age 12)

It's not very often that people get caught. Most guys are only caught once every 5000 times masturbating. Your chances are pretty low. At your age, only 28 percent of males have ever been caught. Not even half of males are caught until age 29. That's not something to spend a lot of time worrying about.

I guess I did get caught but I'm not sure. I was masturbating with my music on and just after I ejaculated my sister walked in and she laughed I started to wonder why she was laughing and I looked in the mirror and noticed I had semen on my right cheek and my face was red.

You got caught. I'm sure.

I've been caught masturbating too many times to remember, because I've been masturbating since I was really young, when I didn't know that it was something to be done in total privacy. The main time of being caught masturbating that stands out in my mind is when I was about 8 or 9 years old. I used to always masturbate in the lounge room with a pillow, facing the opposite way to the people in the room, but one time I didn't realize that my mother was sitting on the chair right behind me. She was just smiling and never confronted me about it. It still makes me cringe to think about that time. (age 16)

It was half your life ago. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You were doing it in the lounge room because your mother tolerated it and never told you to move it in private. She already knew that you masturbated. It shouldn't bother you just because you finally realized that you masturbated too.

Was I caught? I was masturbating concealed (in my pocket) and my dad came in but I pretended to be getting my phone even though it was right on the table next to me. I acted cool and he didn't say anything but if I have been caught I'm screwed for life. (age 13)

He might not have thought anything about it but if he didn't say anything, then you're certainly not screwed for life.

I've had a few close calls but my parents now knock on the door every time they go in or at least my dad does. Do you think he knows? (age 13)

If he doesn't know, at least he suspects correctly.

When I was about 13, I had finished pleasuring myself in my room one night in my bed when my mom barged in. I had the blankets over me and she didn't have a clue what I was doing as I had already stopped. She told me that my uncles were leaving and to go say good night. Being I still had my pants down under my blanket, I tried to tell her I was going to sleep and didn't want to. She told me to get up and say goodbye and started to yank the blanket off me. She asked me what I was doing VERY loudly, and repeatedly, until I exclaimed "jacking off, OK?!" while crying at being discovered. (age 30)

I think the lesson here is to teach your mother/others never to pull the covers off you, even if you haven't been masturbating.

This afternoon I had the urge really bad, so I went to my room to pull myself. When I ejaculated, I heard my stepdad coming down the hallway, so I panicked and covered myself by moving up close to the computer. I don't think he saw me but I have a bad feeling he knew something was up. What do you think? (age 16)

He didn't see anything, so I don't think you need to worry that he did.

I thought no one was home so I decided to masturbate in the shower. Since I thought I was home alone, I got REALLY into it - not sure how loud I was but apparently loud enough for my 16-year-old brother to hear! He knocked on my door after I got out of the shower and said, "did you know I was home? you were singing really loudly"(trying to beat around the bush). I played stupid. He never mentioned it again but I feel SOOOO embarrassed and fear it will ruin our relationship. I have walked in on him and his girlfriend having sex more than once. I do not view him any differently because of these things. However, I feel he won't think the same of me anymore. I feel so awkward around him now!!! (female, age 17)

Relax. By letting you know he was home, he is telling you he's on your side. Since he is sexually active at 16, it's reasonable to believe he's been masturbating for years. He probably assumed the same about you without needing to hear you in the shower.

I was at home alone a few days and I got really horny so I stripped off and started to masturbate. About fifteen minutes into it, my younger brother burst into my bedroom with me on the floor facing him. The shock made me instantly orgasm with a lot of force. I've heard him doing it in his room at night but I still can't look him in the eye. What should I do? I really want things to be back to normal. (age 17)

You don't say what room you were masturbating in, but if it was your bedroom, you have nothing to apologize for. If you want things to be normal, all you have to do is be normal.

I was just caught masturbating in a hotel room of all places! I thought a hotel room was supposed to be private! A guy walked in on me masturbating in front of my laptop. I heard all too late the door opening and he said, "Well, I guess this is your room. I'll go handle it at the front desk." Then he walked out. I was and am still absolutely mortified. Several minutes later the phone rang. I didn't answer it. It was probably the front desk but I was too embarrassed to answer. Do you think he told the front desk? Will my parents find out? (age 21)

Hotel rooms generally have a deadbolt lock and a privacy bar in addition to the room lock. Always lock them reflexively when you enter the room. I doubt the man told the front desk staff you were masturbating. He probably just told them there was someone else in the room. If they say anything to your parents, it would be to apologize for the intrusion. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Once at boarding school I was in my dorm and everybody was getting showered etc. One of my roomies had a Playboy mag and I started masturbating. Then my roomie came in with the female teacher on duty just as I was ejaculating. I got banned from boarding from the rest of term and my parents were told. My mom thought it was very funny. I still feel embarrassed to this day and feel highly depressed. My parents have reffered me to see a counselor about it but it hasn't helped. ALWAYS MASTURBATE IN PRIVATE! (age 15)

I think it would have been good for you to talk to some of the men in administration at the school about the incident. The female teacher surely overreacted. You were only doing what nearly every male in your school does frequently. You should not have been punished.

I was masturbating in my room with the door locked with a regular movie on so no one would hear. My mom's friend was over and she was leaving so she tried to open the door to say goodbye but thankfully it was locked. Then she asked, "why is your door locked?" I said nothing and she left. So if you're going to masturbate, lock the door because if I hadn't, she would have gotten a eyeful. I'm assuming she didn't know what I was doing but what do you think? (female, age 14)

Since you didn't answer, her first thought probably would have been that you were sleeping. You've learned something valuable about masturbatory privacy. I would advise you not to play movies. It might cover up sounds you're making, but it also keeps you from being aware of what else is going on.

Last night I was lying down and had the urge to masturbate so I did. My parents were downstairs so I felt I had privacy. I was about to ejaculate when I heard noises upstairs. I stopped and waited until it was safe to start again, when my mom barged in. I quickly threw my phone because I was watching porn and didn't have time to pull my shorts up. I had a pillow over my penis so she couldn't see, but she walked over and lifted up the pillow and then dropped it again. She asked what I was doing and I looked suspicious and she left my room. I was freaking out and was wondering if she saw. I quickly looked up how people were dealing with being caught and found HealthyStrokes.com, which helped sooth my fears. Today I approached her with no fear and we had a few interactions and it was totally normal until just now! She sat on the couch next to me and asked what I was doing last night. I'm pretty sure she saw my erect penis and also saw my phone next to me so I'm wondering if she really didn't see or if she just wants me to admit it. (age 14)

She saw. You have three choices: Tell the truth, lie, or avoid answering.

I have a mom problem. My mom always says she knocks but every time she opens the door without waiting for an OK. One time she did this and I was masturbating she looked at me and laughed and exited the room. What do I do? (age 13)

Since your mom already knows you masturbate, you're in a better position to raise this issue than people your age who think their parents don't know. I suggest you tell her directly that you expect her to wait for you to tell her it's OK to come in before she does. She probably doesn't need you to explain why.

Over the summer I was vacationing in Florida with my parents and four siblings. I had to share a room with my two younger brothers, who are 16 and 14, so of course this facilitated a very awkward but necessary conversation about "private actions." We agreed that we wouldn't masturbate when anyone else was in the room, so each night for our first five days at the hotel [of a total two weeks], one brother would stay behind when the rest of the family went for an end-of-the-day swim. However, on the sixth day, which would have been my second night to stay behind, our itinerary suddenly changed and we would be staying at the hotel for the day and exploring Orlando's nightlife instead. This frustrated me, but I discovered some time to myself when the family headed for lunch, and I claimed that I'd eaten a "big breakfast" and returned to the room. My mother had warned me to remove the "vacant" door tag that signals to the maid service that the room was ready to be cleaned, but in my excitement after passing by a group of bikini-clad hotties by the pool I rushed back to the room to masturbate to orgasm.

My 16-year-old brother had told me that the night before he had discovered a series of adult movies that you didn't need to verify age for. So after stripping down and closing the blinds, I bought one of the pornos. I charged the $5 to my father's credit card and began watching a feature about "spring break." I was going pretty furiously at it, and I ejaculated on my sheets. I threw them on the floor and ran into the shower to wash off. I knew I had at least one more spurt in me, so I tried in the shower, but I couldn't orgasm again. I ran back out into the bedroom naked, with my penis in my hand, and I was met by two elderly maids. The video was still playing while one of the maids was packing my semen-soaked sheets into a laundry bin while the other fluffed my younger brother's pillows. I turned beet read, but my erection wouldn't go down. If anything, I had become more excited. The maids gasped in shock and revulsion at my behavior but then pulled a complete 180 and let hurriedly without a word. I just stood there for a minute, befuddled at what had happened, but hopped back onto the bed, watched a few more minutes of my rental, and then peacefully returned to the bathroom to finish. The maids came back every day to work on our suite and never so much as looked at me funny.

I'd masturbated without incident twice, maybe three times more after that, and I was sure that I was in the clear. However, at the end of vacation, just before my senior year was about to start, my two brothers and I were grounded for a month for charging over $80 worth of unnamed "premium" movie content to the room. (age 17)

That's quite a story. As far as I can tell, it has three elements. 1) You and your brothers discussed masturbation and made a plan for temporarily sharing a room; 2) Maids encountered you naked and could have assumed (although they didn't know for sure) that you had just been masturbating; 3) You got in trouble with your parents for charging porn to their hotel bill. First, it's a good thing that the three of you could discuss masturbating openly and agree to share your limited privacy. Good job. Second, the maids have probably seen everything, and an erection and a porn running (which their employer sold you) are pretty minor. As you point out, there were no repercussions from their seeing you. It was probably their fault for not knocking louder before they came in. Third, you took your lumps for the cost of the premium content but you don't mention that you parents were upset by what you were doing with it. On balance, I think you learned a lot and had a better summer than many others.

I was in the family room in the basement masturbating late at night, and I had closed my mom's door, and I always do this to avoid her catching me. I turned the TV low so I could hear if she left her room but I didnt hear her this time and I was lying down on my couch resting my head, and I was under my blanket staring at images on my computer, and I saw her head poke out from behind the corner. She didn't say anything and just went into the bathroom, but I still feel really weird! (male, age 14)

Your mom probably did too, but she didn't say anything about it and neither should you. Might turn the TV off altogether.

I'm pretty sure my mom wants to catch me. Sometimes when I'm in my room, she barges in without knocking and says in a sarcastic manner, "what's going on in here?" How do I address this without getting into a conversation about masturbation? (age 16)

You could respond, "I was enjoying my privacy until you came in without knocking."

The other day I was home alone with my 14-year-old sister for a few hours. She was holed up in her room, and I was in the living room. I got horny and thought that masturbating wouldn't be a problem, especially because I've masturbated in the same place a few times before and had never been caught. I was watching videos and had my headphones on, but when I looked toward the stairs, she was coming down and could definitely see me. She didn't say anything and just went about her business normally. I stopped, but she definitely saw me. Because she hasn't said anything, do you think she's going to say anything to my parents, or is she cool with it and I just shouldn't bring it up? I'm really embarrassed right now. (age 16)

I doubt she's going to say anything if she hasn't yet, but I urge you to confine masturbating to private places. Also keep in mind how unaware you are to surroundings when you put headphones on and get to concentrating on your video.

I was masturbating in my bathroom with the door locked when my younger sister came knocking for toilet paper. I tried to put my clothes on but it would take too long so I just gave it to her with the door partially closed so she could not see me naked. She asked why she could not see me. I was very confused on what to say because she assumed I was just using the bathroom. At the heat of the moment i just said "I dont know." It sounds really awkward and she might know what I was doing. What do you think? (age 12)

I don't think she will figure out that you were masturbating. You shouldn't need to give anyone an explanation as to why they can't see you when you're in the bathroom, but try to have a better answer ready next time.

My grandfather caught me looking at a magazine and masturbating. I don't know if he noticed the magazine, but I was naked from the waist down. I said, "Err, I'm in the middle of something..." and he said,"In the middle of what?" We stared at each other for a couple of seconds, then he left. How do I know if he knows? And what should I do about it? (age 12)

Give your grandfather some credit. He is, what, 65 years old? He's been masturbating for over 50 years. He raised one or more children, all of whom masturbate. Now he has grandchildren who masturbate too. He knows what he saw. He saw what he knows. You don't need to do anything about it.

I've been masturbating for 3 years and have never been caught. My secret is to lock my bathroom door, open my laundry basket so if the door somehow opens, they can't see me, and close the shower door. I then put my Ipod by the sink playing a video. When I ejaculate, clean up is easy, I spray air freshener and delete the web history. No one suspects a thing. (age 15)

You haven't been overtly caught, but it's not true that no one suspects a thing. People are aware that nearly all 15-year-old boys masturbate. You are going to a lot of trouble to maintain subterfuge in the bathroom when you would be more comfortable and enjoy yourself more in bed. Try it, you'll like it.

I live with my grandparents and so does my uncle. We both like to talk and play video games. One night I forgot to lock my door while I was getting ready to masturbate. I hadn't even pulled my penis out yet, and just then my uncle walked into my room. He asked me something and then left.

A few nights later though, I walked out of my room and saw that my uncle was up and on the game room computer. He got up and went to the window and said, "is that a car?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him bend over and zip his pants. After that he said, "It must have been my imagination." I left it at that and went to sleep. (age 15)

OK, you and your uncle each like to masturbate. La de da.

I'm really not sure if I got caught. I think I did. I was masturbating and my sister knocked and opened the door. I had the covers over me but I think she saw my boxers around my ankles. She said sorry and left. So did I get caught? (age 18)

Yes, you definitely did.

After I masturbated I accidentally went to sleep. It was late at night, so I left the door open. But the pillow was still between my legs when I fell asleep. I woke up early, found the door closed, the pillow in the chair again, and I noticed that my TV remotes were moved. So I absolutely know that someone came into my room and "fixed" me. I don't know which parent, and they won't talk about it. What should I do? (female, age 13)

You should stop worrying about it. One of your parents came in, but they don't know for sure that you were masturbating. And if they knew, they would probably be OK with it.

I was on a road trip to my grandparents' house with my mom. I fell asleep and when I woke up I was leaning back in the seat and realized I had a huge erection that was sticking straight up in my shorts. I sat up quickly and tried to cover it up. My mom asked if I had a good nap and asked if I needed to stop at the next rest area. I said yes and when we stopped I went into a stall and masturbated to orgasm. When I got back in the car, my mom smiled at me and asked me if I felt better. I said yes, but did not think she knew. But then she said she understood and not to worry about telling her stuff. I sort of laughed and said OK, but I didn't know what to say. Did she really know what I was doing? (age 14)

She suspected you were going to masturbate, and then you went ahead and masturbated. So she suspected correctly. You could just as easily have only urinated at the rest area. The need to urinate is also a reason males your age get erections. In that case your mother would have suspected incorrectly, and when she said not to worry, you could have said, "Mom, all I did was empty my bladder."

My mom caught me masturbating a few months ago, and now I think she thinks I'm going to masturbate every time I'm alone in a room. How can I convince her I'm not? (age 13)

She probably doesn't think you will masturbate every time you're alone in a room, but she probably thinks you will some of the time. She will be correct, too. I'm not sure you have a problem.

I'm a girl and I walked in on my male cousin masturbating to a nude mag. He was extremely embarrassed but I got turned on majorly. He is 16, all shaven, and very well endowed. Since then, whenever I masturbate, I fantasize about him. This has been happening for the past three weeks. Do you think it is OK to fantasize about a first cousin?

Whatever you fantasize about is up to you. I think it's OK to fantasize about a cousin, but I don't think you should be sexual with him.

I was in my room masturbating after everybody went to bed. I started to moan and I didn't realize it. Then just when I was about to have a load, my brother who is 16 asked if he could join me. What should I have done? (age 14)

You should have asked for privacy.

On my vacation, I went to my girlfriend's house, but unfortunately she was not there. I went to her room, and there was a big photo of her that gave me an erotic feeling, and I started to masturbate. After some time, my girlfriend came in and saw me masturbating, then she asked me if she could join me. I accepted and after a while, we had very good sex. What should I have done when she asked to join me? (age 18)

I think you did OK even without my advice, so I'll keep quiet here.

I was masturbating and during orgasm, my mom walked in and she asked what am I doing? I pulled up my boxers and said I got poison ivy on my thighs and she said there is madicine in the cabinet and she left. (age 12)

Why don't you give your mom more credit than that? She knew what you were doing. She knew you didn't have poison ivy.

I was caught by our maid. She walked in as I was masturbating in the bathroom, as I had opened the door a crack to allow the steam to get out. She looked into my eyes and then at my erection and just said "WHOAAA!" She has never said anything about it, but I'm so turned on by the thought, should I ask her to watch me masturbate? (age 17)

You should be glad you have something extra to get turned on by and not ask her to watch. Also, make sure the door is closed and locked when you masturbate.

I don't know how to get over being caught. How can I try to forget about it happening? (age 17)

Try to relax. At the very least, whoever discovered you now knows that you masturbate, so you don't have to worry about that person finding out. If they are older than you, they have probably masturbated more than you have and might have been caught themselves at one point. There is no reason to enjoy masturbating less just because someone knows you do it.

I was masturbating over Internet porn and I had sound on. Not much but you could hear it at least to my sister's door. I did not know she was home; otherwise I wouldn't have sound on. Anyway, she was supposed to be in school and when mom came home, she found her in the bed sleeping. I was shocked when I found out she was home. Do you think she knows? (age 16)

If she knows anything about teenage sexuality, she knows that nearly all boys your age masturbate. She might not have heard anything coming from your computer and might not have connected it to masturbating even if she had. I would advise you to not worry about it.

I was in my high school. I'm a officer in JROTC and I have a key to the supply closet. I was masturbating and my sergeant walked in on me. He walked off shaking his head. I cannot look him in the eye. What do you think he was thinking about that? (age 15)

I think you got off lucky. If he wanted to, he could have made it an issue. Just look him in the eye. Sergeants like that.

I was masturbating in my parents' shower as my stepsister was bathing in my washroom. I got an orgasm and opened the shower door to ejaculate in the toilet, but just as I was approaching the toilet, my stepmom opened the door and came in to take a shower completely naked! I couldn't stop and ejaculated anyway. She stood there for a second, said sorry and went out. I was mortified. Since then, she hasn't talked to me. This thing really turns me on and I have masturbated thinking about it twice after the incident. I am scared that she might tell my dad. What should I do? (age 17)

I find it unlikely that she will tell your dad, and I find it even more unlikely that your dad would frown on your masturbating. Just tell him you didn't lock the door and she didn't know you were in there.

I have had a whole bunch of close calls but I've never been caught. The closest I've been was when I was at my grandparents' house and I had a porno on and was masturbating under my covers in the living room and just as I came, I looked over and realized my grandma was in the kitchen the whole time. I was so embarrassed but she didn't say anything. Later I approached her and we talked about masturbation and how it was normal and that she would get me anything I needed and would let me have my privacy when I needed to. This was so awesome because this is first time I had heard masturbation was okay and actually encouraged. Other than that my two female cousins have almost caught me but not as close as my grandma. (age 17)

I'm glad you're happy with how it turned out, but I would try harder to not be caught. Most people only masturbate when they have some assurance of privacy.

I went to my girlfriend's house to drop something off before I went out hunting. I knocked on the door and thought I heard "come in," so I entered the room to find her masturbating with a vibrator. She asked me to join in and I just fainted. Now I'm too embarrassed to talk to her, or even look at her. What should I do? (age 17)

If seeing a girl masturbating causes you to faint, then you're definitely in no shape to be walking around the woods with a gun. Masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun, and girls do it too.

I was masturbating late at night and I heard footsteps so I pulled a blanket over me and pretended I was sleeping but my sock was right next to me. Do you think my dad knew what I was doing when he walked in? (age 14)

No. I think you got away with it.

One weekend while I was staying at my older sister's apartment, I got the sudden urge to touch myself. Since my sister and her roommate weren't home, I masturbated vigorously. When I was just about to orgasm, my sister's roommate walked in. I'm not sure if she saw me or not because I was in the TV room. But the door was open. And now every time I see her, she looks at me like she knows something. Do you think that she saw me? (age 18)

Yes, I think she did.

At school I get really bad urges to masturbate, so I will encourage the erection or put my hand in my pocket and masturbate that way, until I orgasm. I do it about every other day and a lot of other guys do too, more noticeably. I'm wondering if people can notice this and it's a habit I should drop. I find it much hotter to orgasm in the presence of real girls, rather than pictures or thoughts of girls. (age 14)

You and those other guys are being unbelievably bold. Yes, others can see you masturbate through your pockets. It is suspicious when you put your hand in your pocket for very long. I suggest you stop this before you get in serious trouble.

I am so scared of getting caught from my older brother but not my mom or dad. He will do anything just to be a jerk so I only masturbate at night with the door locked. I got caught by my mom and she said it was OK. Then the next time we went to the bookstore she got me a Playboy mag. (age 12)

You have a cool mom, to be sure, but you don't need to worry about your older brother, especially if your mom knows. If he picks on you for masturbating, just remind him that he's done it HUNDREDS of times more than you for each year older. So if he's 15, he's probably done it 1200 times more than you have.

I have had a few close calls in the past, but one time I was caught masturbating. My mom went in my room while I was having an orgasm. She just walked out and didn't say anything. I still feel embarrassed about this. I just can't forget about that incident. (female, age 12)

It might help to talk about it with a friend. It's easier to forget something after you've shared about it. Maybe even writing to me helped.

I was caught masturbating in my room by my 18-year-old cousin. I had my door locked but there are keys for the doors to open them easily. How do I face her now if she saw me masturbating? I don't know if she told my parents or not. (age 14)

I doubt she told your parents, and she has probably been masturbating a lot longer than you have. Just be normal around her.

I was recently at a 2-week long event with another girl and the leader of our 4-H group. Every time I went in our hotel room, I made sure to knock on the door and wait three seconds before entering just in case. On the 12th day, I made a U-turn because I had forgotten my towel before swimming. Since I had just been there a couple of minutes earlier, I didn't think to knock before entering and I walked in on my leader masturbating. I wasn't due back for another two hours. She freaked out, I freaked out, and it was crazy. She ultimately ended up apologizing and saying it was wrong of her. It was my fault because I didn't knock and wasn't expected back. I know masturbating is a normal thing to do. I do it too, but I never really thought about her doing it. I was weirded out, but she's one of my favorite people, so I'm trying to keep it from affecting the way I look at her. I told her I wouldn't mention it to anybody and I haven't. Last week, we had a meeting that she didn't even tell me about so I missed it. Do you think she's trying to avoid me? (age 14)

Hard to say, since she had to deal with you for two more days on the trip, and then there was the drive back. I would suggest you tell her you expected to be invited to the meeting and not say anything about the hotel room incident. I don't think it was entirely your fault. She should have chained or deadbolted the hotel room door when she decided to masturbate. I do those things automatically when I go into a hotel room. Now you know that adults masturbate too, especially when they've been away from home for 12 days.

I haven't been caught yet but I have been masturbating since I was about 13 and one day I was masturbating and when I finished my mom got home and my door was closed just in case. When she came inside, she asked me why my door was closed and I didn't answer. Do you think she knows what I was doing? (age 13)

I don't think she knows, but I suspect she could guess correctly. If you want to have an answer ready for next time, say it's safer to keep doors closed in case of fire.

I'm so thankful for your page!! I just realized my parents have been giving me extra privacy. This happened after I almost got caught. I got into a really good masturbation session when my mom came in! She came in to see if I was asleep but I put the covers over quickly. She didn't say anything and left after watching me pull the covers over my body. Do you think she knows what I was doing? (age 15)

I suspect she does. Be glad it has worked in your favor.

I like to masturbate on my bed, but not under the covers, so it's hard to find the privacy to masturbate. I've tried in the shower but it doesn't seem to work. Where and when should I masturbate without being caught? (age 13)

Do it where you like to do it. I suggest a lock for your door. If that won't work, try to establish a culture of people knocking. Keep in mind that your parents probably assume you masturbate and this assumption will get stronger as you get older. So you probably don't have to worry about them. So don't be obsessed about getting caught and instead concentrate on enjoying it.

I want to clear the air that I masturbate, so I can do it without worrying about being caught. I'd like to tell my parents but I don't think that's cool. What would be cool is if I could walk in on my 17-year-old brother masturbating or him walk in on me. Is it natural to be cool with your brother about masturbating? (age 13)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. There is no reason to tell your parents. It would be embarrassing for all of you if you told them. Why don't you talk about it with your brother. That is very normal. Until not very long ago, most brothers shared bedrooms and knew everything that was going on. He has been through the same thing as you and understands. Don't plan on barging in on him or letting him barge in on you. That isn't fair or nice. Treat him with the same respect you would want. Maybe you could start by saying to him, "Trevor, I'd like to talk about changes that happen when a boy gets to puberty." (Be sure to change the first word if his name is Sam or Martin.) Keep in mind that he might still be embarrassed about masturbating himself, so don't ask questions about his activity. It's more likely he'll volunteer some information about his own habits.

I finished masturbating after bedtime like I normally do, but I fell asleep before I put my clothes back on. In the morning, when my dad told me to wake up for school, I saw that I was still naked. I was so nervous that when I talked to him, he asked if something was wrong. I said no, but then he started smiling, and then he backed away from my room. Do you think he knows what I did or saw me naked? (age 13)

You should have been able to tell if he could see you naked. If he saw you sleeping naked, he would probably guess that you masturbate, although this is not correct in every case. It is, however, correct in yours, so if your dad assumes that you masturbate, he assumes correctly.

I was masturbating the other day and my mom walked in. I don't have locks as they are frowned upon by my single mom. She gave my a talk about how masturbation is wrong and that it is very dirty and is and only should be done by dirty men. But I love to masturbate! What's the best way to hide ejaculation from sheets and boxers? I can't masturbate in the bathroom because privacy is worse there than in my bedroom. What do I do? Where do I masturbate (if at all)? (age 14)

Like a lot of single mothers, your mom has little concept of male sexuality. Which is too bad, because she has two sons. If you want to be really bold about it, you could print out some material from HealthyStrokes.com and show her that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. You couldn't give up masturbating if you wanted to (anyway, you love it), but if you want to humor your mom, if the subject ever comes up again, you can tell her you're working on not masturbating (which is true 23 1/2 hours a day). And you can avoid stains on your sheets and underwear by containing your ejaculate in a tissue or rag.

I have never been caught masturbating, but only because I can rarely do it. My parents won't let me have locks on my doors, and although I've asked that they knock, they insist on coming in so quickly that sometimes I think they're TRYING to catch me doing something. My father wants me to keep my door open all the time, so it's impossible to get any privacy, and the one time I slept naked he ran in and tore the covers off and yelled at me to get dressed. I've never orgasmed because trying to masturbate is really stressful. I don't know if my parents will be receptive because they're Catholic, so I'm not sure if I can talk about it with them. What can I do? (age 16)

You want to masturbate, and it's good for you and fun, so it is better to do it whether or not you think your parents approve. Most people masturbate at bedtime because that's when they have the most privacy. You might tell them you want your door closed at night for fire safety reasons. A closed door can keep a fire out for 10 minutes and can keep smoke out until the smoke alarm wakes you. When you're more comfortable being able to masturbate in private, I think that will lead to orgasms for you.

I kinda want to be caught so I can get over it but I want to use lube. I don't know how I will get it and my skin is sensitive. (age 12)

There is no reason to want to be caught. It is not inevitable. Not until they are almost 30 have the majority of males been caught. Next time you are at a store, pick out a bottle of lube and ask if you can get it. If they ask you what you want it for and you don't have an answer ready, you have been "caught"!

Do you think it's odd or weird that when I'm masturbating and my cat walks in, I just continue with what I'm doing? (age 13).

Not at all. When is the last time the cat stopped doing something it enjoys because you walked in?

I had just finished masturbating when my mom got home. I quickly buttoned and zipped my pants, but I forgot to do my belt. She walked in and when she saw my belt undone, she looked awkwardly at my pants and said, "you forgot to do your belt after you went to the bathroom." I acted like nothing was wrong and just quickly did my belt saying "oh, yeah." This is the closest she's gotten to catching me, so do you think she knows I masturbate? (age 15)

No, but I think she could guess correctly.

I was masturbating with my eyes closed thinking about my girlfriend when I thought nobody was home. Suddenly I heard somebody say "oh my!" It was my girlfriend. I was so embarrassed until she said "can I join you?" This led to sex and a good night's sleep. (age 16)

That's the happiest story of getting caught masturbating that I've ever heard!

I love the site! I've never been caught masturbating, but when I'm done, I wipe my semen off with a shirt or something. Do you think my mom suspects anything? What should I use to wipe it off without her noticing? (age 14)

If they're your regular shirts, she might look as they're going into the laundry. Many guys use a hank rag, which is an old shirt or piece of cloth used especially for that purpose and kept in a drawer or someplace between uses.

I masturbate about once or twice a day usually. A few weeks ago I woke up and of course had a hard on, so I decided to masturbate. While masturbating, my sister walked in. I quickly covered up. She is only 11, and it does not seem like she knows anything at all about what masturbation is, so I think I might have gotten away with saying that I was "just changing." What do you think? (age 15)

I think your sister will not say anything about what she saw, and she bought your "just changing" line for now. I also think that within a few years, she will be masturbating herself, and she will remember walking in on you and finally realize what you were doing.

I just started masturbating a week ago and it was awesome until yesterday when my brother came in while I was ejaculating. Luckily I finished just before he came in. (age 13)

I'm sure it will still be awesome.

I was 15 when I went to the restroom while at church and I decided to masturbate before going back in. It was a downstairs restroom in the back that hardly anyone uses, I thought. It had a little bench where I decided to do the deed. I started by reaching under my skirt then as I got into massaging my clit, I removed my clothes and I started orgasming. Just then I looked up to see an older lady looking at me. I just froze and she did her business and told me to clean up and get back to church. It took me a minute before I took off like a rocket. I don't know if she ever told anyone but looked at me weird after that. (age 26)

Always be careful of secluded restrooms. You'd be surprised about the number of people who know about them.

I just read like all of these stories and I'm amazed by some of them. I just found this site yesterday and even masturbated while reading some of them. This site is awesome and I always feared of being caught. After reading these stories I'm not so worried since it seems 90% of moms are OK with it. With my mom playing both roles of mom and dad and me being a teenager, I think she already knows I masturbate but I'm not sure and I'm definitly not going to ask about it. When I was 7, she found me looking at my dad's magazine and took it away but didn't say anything, I was lucky and I only masturbate during the night after my mom goes to bed. (age 15)

Hooray for you!

I woke up at about 5:30 a.m. about an hour before I usally get ready for school so I had some time to lie in bed and watch TV. About ten minutes before I had to get up, I decided to start masturbating. I was watching porn on my cell phone while I was doing this. Right when I was about to ejaculate, my auntie walked in. As she walked in, it was right before ejaculation and I couldn't stop it, so I shot a load all over my chest. She just walked out. (age 14)

She will never come in without knocking again.

I live with my grandmother and dad, and I was masturbating when my grandmother walked in without knocking. She said it's OK and then walked out. I am so embarrassed. She hasn't said anything about it. Does that mean something? (female, age 12)

Both what she said and what she hasn't said mean she is OK with your masturbating.

I'm not sure what my parents would do If they caught me masturbating. I used to lock my room or door to the bathroom even before I started masturbating so I think they already know or at least suspect, but I'm still extremely cautious about it. If I'm caught, what do you think I should do and what would they do? I love your site and I think it's great that people can learn about this so easily! (age 15)

If you have read this page, you will find that nearly all parents are OK with masturbating, and if a boy or girl gets caught, there are usually no consequences.

Once I went to an indoor swimming pool. As I entered the dressing room, I noticed two boys naked facing the opposite direction. I said hello, and they both turned around, and I could see they both had erections. I think they were masturbating. They got dressed and one left while the other kept pressing the front of his pants probably worrying that if he went out someone would notice he was still erect. (age 74)

It's good you said hello to alert them that you were there.

I love your site! My strategy is to masturbate immediately after showering, so if a relative is about to enter my room or needs something, I can just tell them that I'm "getting ready." (age 13)

I think you should masturbate when you want to and not only after showering.

I thought I would be home alone today for a while after school, so I thought it would be a good time to masturbate. I cranked up my stereo and lay on my bed completely naked. I had my door shut but I didn't lock the door. Just as I was about to ejaculate, my door whipped open and my dad stood there and just kind of smiled and shut the door. I finished and was mortified. I later went downstairs and my dad sat me down, he told me that I don't have to be embarrassed because we are both men and it is natural for us to masturbate, and to not feel guilty. He also said that I could go to him if I ever needed some "man to man" talking. I said OK, thanks, and I went to my room. I am just a little weirded out but also grateful of the way he reacted. I feel awkward looking at him now and still feel embarrassed. (age 18)

You shouldn't be. He admitted that he masturbates too. You have every reason to be cool.

I had been watching porn a decent ammount recently, and although I liked it, I was ashamed. My parents are very nice and forgiving, and they also usually forgive me for things I do that I feel sorry about. One night I had a talk with my mom. I told her that I had been masturbating with porn, but that I had quit entirely after a couple of days. She was OK with it, and told me it was just curiosity and completely natural. I know she told my dad, but he seems really cool about it. I'm especially happy that my parents were OK with what happened. I have not been caught masturbating yet, but I think when it happens it will be similar to this story, and that she will be open and accepting of it. (age 12)

They probably won't say anything if it does.

I was masturbating and watching porn and my grandma came walking in. I quickly pulled up my pants. She just asked me if I wanted chicken with rice and I just said no. I'm scared she will tell people because she is quite a gossiper. What should I do? (age 13)

Well, I would have said yes to the chicken with rice. I think you should forget the masturbating incident because your grandma has.

Once I walked in on my brother when we shared rooms. At the time, we were both quite flustered and he was mad at me for a day or so, mostly for not knocking. The next day, we were both laughing about it. Additionally, next time I walked into the room without knocking (even though he wasn't doing anything), he simply quoted a guilty-pleasure film and said: "Go away, I'm 'batin'." (age 22)


I was going over to a guy's house to work on a project for school and his mom let me in and told me he was in his room and to go on up. I knocked and said his name but I guess he didn't hear me. The door was cracked already so I walked in and he was having an orgasm, fully naked on his bed. The most awkward part, he has a girlfriend and I'm seeing someone else so we aren't interested in each other so it's just weird. (age 17)

It isn't weird at all; it's only awkward. Males who have girlfriends masturbate too, even if they're having sex. If he didn't hear you knock, you obviously didn't hear him tell you to come in, so you shouldn't have.

I have walked in not only on my brother who was masturbating in the computer room (which doesn't even have a door) but also on my mom who was using a dildo. Both of those are burned into my brain for life. My mom now asks me questions about if I use a vibrator or dildo or my hands and what brand of toys. (age 16)

You should really tell your mom you're not going to discuss any of that.

I had the flu for about 5 days so no desire to masturbate. My first time afterward was a real "sprayer" all over my black t-shirt. My mom thought I was sleeping and walked in and said "oops, I guess you're feeling better," and backed out. (age 17)

I'm glad your mom has a positive attitude toward masturbation.

I have a really hot P.E teacher and one time getting changed I got an erection over her. I waited for everyone else to leave for P.E and started to masturbate. Unfortunately, one of the male P.E teachers came into the changing rooms. As I ejaculated, I opened my eyes and saw him there. I was mortified. The school told my parents who gave me the masturbation talk. I can never look at the teacher who caught me because he laughs at me all the time.

Don't worry about it. That teacher has masturbated a lot more than you have and has spent a lot more time in locker rooms.

I had only recently discovered masturbating. I did it whenever I was alone and there was nobody to check on me. One day I was doing it sitting on my bed with my shorts down to my knees and I got so engrossed in jerking my erection that I didn't even notice the curtains were not drawn properly. That's when I noticed my neighbor girl, about 13 or 14, watching me stunned and wide eyed. I was terribly embarrassed thinking she would freak out and report to my mom but thankfully she just smiled and walked on. Later when we met she never mentioned the topic but she always had a smile on her face when she saw me. Do you think she understood what I was doing? (age 18)

Yes, probably.

One night my friend walked in on me sleep masturbating and woke me up to ask if I needed help. I said no. Was this right to say? (female, age 13)

Since you didn't need help, it was definitely right to say, but I wouldn't have woken you up and would have just left quietly.

As I woke up early on my 16th birthday, I started masturbating and was thinking about stuff and then decided to use my vibrator which was under my bed. I started pleasuring and all of a sudden I heard my brother running up the stairs. He opened the door so I sat up and he was singing happy birthday to me and then my mom and dad came up the stairs and wished me a happy birthday and I could hear the sound of my vibrator so I shuffled the bed covers and tried to blend the noise and I felt shocked and tingling so I wasn't acting normal. I said I want to be left alone and they left but I felt that my dad somehow knew and I'm weirded out looking at him. I think he knew I was masturbating but I don't know how to react around him thinking he knew and my mom knowing too. I feel really embarrassed and mortified. (age 16)

They probably didn't know you were masturbating, and if they did, they've done it thousands of times themselves. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Be glad you have a family that started celebrating your birthday first thing in the morning and then left when you asked without a bunch of questions.

My mother doesn't work, my sister is 5 and always barges in every room of the house, and my dad is a web designer and works from the house, so I never ever stay home alone. I have a physical urge to masturbate daily, and even though I have the door closed, I always think that someone is going to catch me with my hand on my clit, so I stop before reaching climax. This has been going on for about a year now. What can I do about it? (age 14)

Please read this page for strategies. Putting something heavy in front of your door would help, because it would make a loud BANG! if someone burst in and give you a second or so to cover up.

My situation was a lot like the video at the top of this page. Only it was my dad. He just said it's OK, you can do it as often as you like. After that my mom always makes sure I have Kleenex by my bed. (age 12)

Hurray?

I usually lock my bedroom door when I masturbate, but a few weeks ago I was masturbating and I finished by ejaculating all over my chest. When I opened the door to go clean up (the bathroom is across the hall from me), my stepsister had her ear pressed against it, and then she was just staring at my chest. We both never talked about it but she would face the floor a bit but keep her eyes on me and smile, and I keep finding her at the door or when I'm about to cum (I groan a lot at that point), the door handle rattles and I find her there after. Is she trying to catch me or something? Should I let her catch me maybe to stop her? (age 16)

I really think you should tell her you don't appreciate her lurking in your doorway. There is no reason to tell her what you're doing in bed.

A month ago I was at school in a one-person toilet (we have unisex toilets). I was masturbating and one of the girls walked in and looked at me and left quickly. When I came out, she told me everyone does it. She didn't tell anyone that I know of. Is this OK? (male, age 12)

It's a lot better than OK. Be glad it wasn't some loudmouth who walked in on you. Masturbating at school is a bad idea even in a one-person toilet.

I don't like to be in my bedroom when I masturbate, because I usually don't like to be in there for too long except for when I go to sleep. Now I feel a stronger urge to lie down when I masturbate, but I feel it would be too awkward if I just started going to my room for 15 minutes every day. If I did, my mom would joke about it, asking me what I was doing in my room or something. Also, my brother always is needing me for something, and he never thinks if he opens a door or something. Can you give me a tip on how to make it easier? (age 13)

You seem like you're making excuses. Your parents gave you a bedroom for your own comfort and privacy. It is where it is most comfortable and private to masturbate. Your mother will not joke about you going to your room. And you can use strategies on this page to deal with your brother. The best advice I have is to go to your room often, not only to masturbate, and it will seem less revealing when you do.

I was caught jerking off last week by my sister. I started puberty during the past winter and discovered masturbating on my own when I would wake up in the middle of a wet dream. I've been having erections all the time during the day.

Last week I got off the school bus with a really intense erection. I ran to get home. I was always the first one home. My sister who is a year older has after-school activities and doesn't usually get home for 2 more hours. I went into my bedroom, pulled off all my clothes and lay down on my bed and started masturbating. Then, as I looked down at my erection, I wondered how it might look to someone else. So I went into my parents' bedroom where there is a full length mirror. I stood in front of the mirror slowly sliding my hand on my penis, looking at myself in the mirror. It really turned me on even more. It was sooo cool to watch myself masturbate in the big mirror. I tried to do it slowly to make it all last longer. I came and squirted all over the mirror and floor. When I was done squirting I almost fell on the floor, it was so good. I was just standing there breathing really hard, slowly rubbing my erection, when I turned and saw my sister peeking in the doorway. I yelled and went into the bathroom. She said she stayed home from school because she puked during the night. She said, "That was a great show you just gave me. Maybe I will invite friends tomorrow or would you like to do it again for me now?" I yelled for her to get out. I wrapped a towel around myself and got back to my bedroom when she was gone. Whenever she looks at me, she giggles, and I feel so embarrassed. (age 15)

She should not have watched, but I don't think you need to be embarrassed. She has more reason to be than you.

For the past few nights I've been sleeping in the same room with my 10 year old brother. One night I was sure he was asleep so I started to masturbate. Just as I was reaching orgasm, he said, "Why are you shaking? Does it feel good?" I said yes and goodnight. Yesterday everything was normal but last night I heard him masturbating or doing something close to it. Did he know what I was doing? (age 15)

Yes, I think he did.

I discovered masturbation when I was really young, 7. When I was 9, one night I was rubbing myself on my clitoris and I guess I made some noise because my dad came up to my room to check on me. I didn't hear him and he knocked and came in my room before I knew it while I was still masturbating with my panties down on my ankles. I grabbed for them but could not get them up. My dad froze then said sorry and turned to leave. I was so upset I grabbed the blanket and pulled it over my head and started to cry. He left the room. I cried for a while and about 20 minutes later he knocked on my door and I said come in and he sat on my bed and said everything was all right. He said he was sorry he didn't wait for me to say it was OK to come in my room and that he would do that now that I was "growing up." This was really nice because our church discourages masturbation so my dad was being really understanding.

I think my dad knows I still masturbate because last Saturday I was doing it in my room (I have a door lock now) and after I was done, about 5 minutes later, my dad knocked on the door and asked if I was ready to go now. I had forgotten about something and we were really late but he didn't come to get me until then, so I think he knew I was masturbating.

Once I got up late at night and went to get something from the office of our house and the door was closed so I knocked. Dad said just a minute and I heard like a zip sound and then a bit later he unlocked and opened the door. The computer was on but he had put the lid down so I could not see the screen. I think I know what he was doing but I didn't say anything and asked for what I wanted and went back to my room. My mom doesn't like masturbation. In our sex talk, she said it was wrong and that big girls shouldn't have to do it. Thanks for your site! (age 14)

What a nice story of communicating with your dad!

One time I was masturbating when I was 10 and my big brother walked in on me and said, "What are you doing?!" I felt so different, then a few months later, my sister walked in on me masturbating and she gave me a weird look and told our mom. Both of my siblings were at least 15. It made me cry and feel depressed for weeks! I'm so glad you made this site!!! I am one of those girls who says I love you to anybody, so I love you!!!!

I'm glad I made this site too. If your siblings were at least 15, then it is a safe bet that they had each masturbated more than you had. You are not 10 anymore and have no reason to be depressed. Enjoy what you can do.

Seven years ago, we lived in a small house with one bedroom, a living room and a kitchen. I live with my mom, dad, and younger brother. My father was away for work. The rest of us slept together on a double bed. At night I wanted to masturbate. I was doing it on the bed, lying on my stomach. The bed was moving a little. I was moaning and trying to keep it down. I was reaching my climax when my mother woke up and asked what I was doing. I told her I had a stomach ache. She went back to sleep and I completed the orgasm. I think she suspected what I was up to. Some days later we had a sex talk. (age 20)

I also think she suspected.

When I was at school, I got seen by a pal who was sitting near me in the history/geography room as we watched a film. I was a 15 year old virgin as horny as hell and I couldn't help looking at the teacher's crotch where her three quarter length trousers divided her labia quite clearly, and her panties must have been pushed right up into her groove. I hadn't masturbated for about four days, and I suddenly needed to do so quite badly. I'm ashamed to say I couldn't take my eyes off her. Tipping back on my chair in the back of the classroom, I could touch myself through my pocket lining. Just a gentle movement of my thumb discretely on the frenulum, my need for relief built up and up. The pleasure was incredible, and with such gentle rubbing I didn't even think about anyone spotting my discreet movements in my pocket. My saliva felt thick, and my sexual tension was rising, but I started to think if others could see me, how embarrassing, I'd never live it down! Even though at this rate, the buildup was slow, I had to come, I couldn't stop now, on and on I went until I felt I was at the point of no return. I sort of shuddered as I felt the ecstasy rush over me. I felt tremendous relief as my penis pulsed and I ejaculated spurts of semen into my underpants. When I moved slightly as I came, my friend noticed it, and he was looking straight at me, knowing what I was doing. He never said a word to anyone, and for that I totally respect him. I have never shared this story with anyone in the 33 years since. (age 48)

Risky.

One day I had two of my friends over for the night, and while one of them was using the bathroom, the other just randomly said something to do with him masturbating. I can't remember what it was exactly. I looked at him all horrified but then said that I masturbated too and that I love it. All three of us ended up talking about masturbating that night, not in an erotic way or anything. Now it is just a normal subject of conversation. Pretty much everyone in my year at school says that they masturbate. (age 13)

Good deal.

About three days ago, one of my best buddies caught me masturbating. We both are part of a school football team and every day after practice we go to the locker room to shower and change. That day the coach extended my practice for an extra 10 minutes, so by the time I returned, nobody was there. I thought I was alone and I started masturbating. Suddenly my friend entered. I was jerking off completely nude. He laughed at me and I stood there expressionless. He too stripped and started masturbating, it was really fun. I think he did it so I wouldn't feel dejected. Now I feel different and awkward jerking off with him. I just can't stop thinking about it. (age 15)

Don't worry about it. Your friend didn't. You don't need to speak of it again.

I got caught masturbating at 15 by my mom one morning before school. She got mad at me. Is that normal? I still masturbate but I make sure to do it when no one is home. Do you think that experience has anything to do with why I am still a virgin? (age 22)

I hope not. I don't know why your mom got mad. It could have been for any number of reasons, but I think the episode was forgotten by her within a few days. You are an adult and can masturbate whenever and wherever you have privacy. If you don't want to be a virgin anymore, don't let what happened seven years ago stop you from pursuing sexual partners.

My brother caught me masturbating in his room. I didn't think he was in and I was getting turned on. When he walked in on me, I was sitting in his chair and facing him. I was really upset and I begged him not to tell anyone. He said if I finished for him he wouldn't say anything. I did, but now I feel so bad for doing it. What can I do? (female, age 16)

I think it's awful that he blackmailed you into masturbating for him. He wouldn't have had that leverage if you hadn't been in his room.

Last year I went to London to stay for 2 weeks. I stayed with a host family with a 16 year old daughter. When they showed me their house, the bathroom was 2 doors away from my room, but on my first night, I mixed up the doors and entered their daughter's room. What luck, I saw her masturbating on her bed. I said sorry and went out. The next night I had a plan for her, that she could see me masturbating, then we could have sex. I left the door open and music loud so she would get mad and rush in to my room. And it happened, but she yelled at me to not masturbate in her house. She said she was disgusted by me, and she would never want see me again. (age 18)

I think that plan was wrong from the start.

When I was 15, working part-time for a judge in a school program, I got bored, and a cute secretary caught my attention. I went to the bathroom, entered one of the stalls, and masturbated vigorously. The judge came in, used the urinal right next to the stall I was in, so he could see through the crack. His reply, "not really" really FREAKED me out. I could not look at him for the rest of the semester. He never said anything but his initial reaction (he was about 50-55 years old) freaked a 15-yr-old kid out. He should not have responded the way he did and I would never have that type of reaction if I walked in on someone. I am now in my 40s and remember how painful that experience was.

You don't even know for sure he was commenting on your masturbating. I always tell people, only masturbate where you have privacy.

I wasn't caught. I never have been but I did catch a friend, at least I THINK I did. We were watching TV but then I got tired and was trying to sleep on his bed. He decided to tidy up his room. I couldn't sleep so I faced the TV but I guess he thought I was sleeping. He had his back facing me. He was doing something suspicious with his hands and his motions looked like he was stroking himself. I didn't know what to do because I wasn't sure if he was masturbating and if he was, what was I supposed to do? Anyway, he did a double take on me since I resumed watching TV and he started cleaning again. I'm shocked that if he masturbated, he would do it with me in the room, but I'm starting to understand from reading HealthyStrokes.com that men have to do it quite often. I'm also disappointed that I didn't ask him about it since I have no problem with my own masturbating but I'm not sure if he does and also because of the "happy endings" I've read on this page. (age 20)

He might have been touching his privates but not masturbating. Males tend to touch their genitals a lot when they're comfortable, even when they're not trying to bring about sexual arousal. So if you're interested in this guy, you can take heart that he's comfortable around you. And to answer your rhetorical question about what to do, you could have said, "What are you doing?"

One day I was at my best friend's house. I hadn't masturbated in days so I was really aching to do it. She went upstairs to take a shower, so I figured it would be a good time to masturbate. I took off all my clothes, lay on her bed and began masturbating. I was very much into it, when she walked in. I quickly sat up and covered myself with her blanket. She said, "it's all right, I do it too, and I could really stand to do it right now." Then she lay down next to me and we masturbated to orgasm together. Is this wrong, or natural to do with a friend? (age 19)

I don't think it's either wrong or natural. I think she should have excused herself and apologized for walking in on you (even though it was her house) instead of inviting herself to join in, but I wouldn't say it's wrong.

I was masturbating in a bathroom, watching porn on my laptop when someone that was over at my house came in and said "Oh!" I said, "Can you not tell anyone?" He said OK and I just walked away. (age 16)

Good.

I noticed my son taking extra-long showers, so rather than yell at him about using too much water like my dad did, I decided to bite the bullet and talk to him about it. I searched about masturbation and HealthyStrokes.com seemed the most down to earth. After he read your Young Man's Guide to Masturbation, I provided him with lubrication and a lock on his door.He was surprised to know his dad still enjoys masturbating as well! (age 31)

Thank you for helping your son and sharing the story with me.

My 10 year old kid brother is into masturbation pretty regularly. I was the first one to catch him doing it two years back and since then we had an open talk about it. Everything was fine between us but for the last couple of months, he has started indulging in it without proper precautions like bolting the door or only masturbating when he is alone. He has suffered a few close shaves as our parents somehow didn't get to know and I caught him few times in the act. I told him to lock his room or use the bathroom but somehow he doesn't seem to take it very seriously. Two days ago, a friend of mine was visiting me and she happened to walk into his room. She came out of the room and laughing pointing out what he was doing then. Now she has told a few of my other classmates too and they all tease me about my brother. How can I explain this to my brother as talking to our parents would be very difficult since they are very strict and too conservative. (female, age 15)

Telling him that your friend has told about his masturbating all over school would probably be devastating to him. Since your casual talking doesn't seem to have made any difference, I would suggest telling him that it's a rule in the house that the door has to be locked during masturbation.

One day at school I got a very persistent erection in math class. After class, I covered my genitals with my backpack and went to the single, unisex bathroom. I started to masterbate, when a girl from my class walked in! I was shocked and embarrassed, but she just stared at my penis, and smiled. She closed and locked the door, and asked, "Do you need some help with that?" I was so confused, shocked, scared, aroused and completally dumbfounded, that all I managed to say was "ughh hhuuhh." Then she laughed and ran out. I always make sure the door is locked now. I prefer the toilets that have bolt-locks.

Who wouldn't?

A couple months ago, I told my older sister that I masturbate. She just asked a questions about where I did it and I told her and she seemed to take it OK. We never talked about it again but today she brought it up saying that I'm gross and weird and was just laughing at me. I told her that it was normal just like you say on HealthyStrokes.com but she continued to make fun of me. Now she's threatening to tell our older sister whom I know will judge me even more. I don't know what to tell her or do, so any advice? Please help. (female, age 14)

I think it's pretty likely that both of your older sisters masturbate. They have probably each done it a lot more than you have. I don't think you need to do anything. You already did your sister some good by pointing her to HealthyStrokes.com. Just stand your ground in case your other sister picks on you. If you are lucky, she will set the middle sister straight.

In 1972, our scout troop had our summer camp at a state park on the end of Long Island. I was a normal boy of 12 who masturbated daily so trying to take care of sexual tension with two other boys in the tent at night was a problem and I held off doing it. By the end of a full week, I couldn't stand it any longer. The sun was just rising when I went to the outhouse to take things in hand. The door had a hook and eye latch which I locked and I settled down to business. Just as I reached orgasm, the door flung open and the assistant scoutmaster was standing there! He had a full view of what I was doing, and he quickly closed the door. It was embarrassing and I worried that he might tell my dad who was on the troop committee, but I don't think he ever did and nothing was ever said. He was a good man and continued to treat me like all the other boys, probably understanding the urges we felt at that age. This was one of my first "notes to self": Never trust a "hook & eye" latch! (age 53)


I was caught when I was 13 by my older stepsister. I was stupid for masturbating in the living room after everyone had gone to bed. I should have been somewere private. She walked into the living room right just as I ejaculated, and she saw EVERYTHING. She is really open and kept her cool. She just started laughing and said don't worry about it. She handed me a tissue and went about her business. She never said anything to anyone! I really respect her for that. Later in life she caught me again in my bedroom, but she said sorry and that she should have knocked and left. Due to laziness I've been caught more than the average guy but everyone has been really cool about it. (age 23)

Aren't we a quick study?

Today I was at home and I needed to masturbate really badly but couldn't orgasm; I've only done it once before. My friend walked in and I tried to cover up, telling her it was rude to barge into someone's house. She then asked me how to orgasm because she has never been able to do it. I'm really embarrassed by the whole thing and I'm trying to decide what to tell her if she brings it up again. (female, age 13)

Your friend seems more genuinely curious than embarrassed, and I think whatever you want to tell her is OK. I also understand if you're too embarrassed because she saw you masturbating to talk about it.

Last year I was naked on my bed in my room and I was masturbating. My door wasn't quite closed, and my little brother, who is two years younger than me, walked in. Of course, he was kind of surprised and asked what I was doing, so I told him. He didn't know what masturbating was, so I told him what to do. He told me he tried it after he went back to his own room. Now it's something we talk about ... a lot. (age 15)

I think a lot of males who read this page will wish they had an older brother like you.

About a week ago my stepsister who is very attractive walked in on me while I was masturbating naked. She laughed and said she was going to tell her dad. I feel this is not right because I know that she masturbates too because I've heard her. What should I do? (age 17)

Do nothing. Her dad will think she's immature if she tattles on you for masturbating. If the topic comes up anyway, make no mention about her masturbating or the same people who think she's immature will think the same about you. And I'm not sure what her being very attractive has to do with anything.

A few hours ago when I was masturbating in my room, my brainless friend entered without knocking and caught me. Before he could get a better glance of me, I tore my bedclothes back. Initially he made fun of me, but later, as I avoided the topic, he pretended to be ignorant.

Then we started doing our homework when he suddenly told me about the masturbation club that he had been running. I had never heard of it before. He said that most of the boys and girls of my school were members of this club and all these members met regularly and masturbated together! I know it sounds very weird and awkward but it does exist! He invited me to be of this club. I said yes and after he left I talked about it with my sister and she suggested that I read your site, HealthyStrokes.com. Is it common? Are these kind of clubs common and a cool thing to join or I should avoid joining them and jerk off alone? (age 15)

I think your friend was putting you on. Some boys gather to masturbate together; I think it was more common 100 years ago, especially among city boys who lived in apartments and didn't have much privacy. Group masturbation is much less common among females, and I've never heard of boys and girls your age gathering to masturbate together. I think you should just forget about it. Your friend will probably not mention it again, and you should enjoy private masturbation.

I haven't actually caught her yet, but I know my older sister has been masturbating. I know this because I have been surprised to discover my vibrator being misplaced. I keep it in one spot in my room, and more than once I have found it underneath her bed, or the couch. I only find it moved when she has been home alone. I know that she knows that I know that she does this, and I know that she knows I do it to. have We never said anything though, we just know. (age 14)

I don't see a question in there, but maybe just knowing is all you need. There is no reason to say something unless you are upset about her borrowing your vibrator.

The other day my 12-year-old little sister was reading on the top bunk of our bed and I was on the bottom. I know it was foolish and I shouldn't have done it, but I really wanted an orgasm, so I started masturbating really quietly. I normally do it quietly so I figured I could get away with it fine. I must have lost control because the bed started shaking and my sister heard my heavy breathing. She asked me what I was doing and looked down just as I finished my orgasm. My hand was on my vulva and my mouth was open. I eventually (and I believe successfully) convinced her that I just had an itch and I was yawning and the creaking and breathing was because I was doing sit-ups. (I exercise a lot.) I felt like she was too young to fully understand what I was doing. Should I have told her and not have lied? I didn't start masturbating until about a year or so ago and I found out on my own. Should I just let her do the same and figure it out for herself? (age 17)

Your three choices were to tell the truth, lie, or avoid answering. You chose to lie. A lot of people would have done the same. I don't think your answer was believable because it had so many parts. You don't owe her any explanation for what you were doing, but I think her antennae are now up and she will be looking for more clues as to what was going on. And I really don't think you should be masturbating when she's in there and the lights are on.

My brother walked in on me masturbating the other day. I was embarrassed at first but then he asked me to finish what I was doing. I giggled at this suggestion but I just couldn't stop stroking my clit. It felt so good. Do you think I made a mistake? I'm worried he might tell people now. Please give me some advice. (age 15)

He should have just left and not given you directions or stayed to watch. And you should have stopped at least until he was gone.

I was rubbing my vulva the other night and loudly moaning, which was stupid. My mom walked in but she didn't say anything and went back out. Should I talk to her about it. I really don't know what to say? (age 14)

Don't say anything. Your mom didn't, and neither should you.

I was masturbating on my bed in a house which I share with 2 male roommates and a female roommate. I forgot to lock my door. My friends were all out so I started masturbating. It felt great so I started doing it faster and it began to hurt but I did not stop. I was making loud noises, when suddenly one of my male friends came in. He smiled and said "it's normal." He offered me a vibrator and asked me if I want to have sex. What should I say? (age 18)

Hmm... I'm guessing if you wanted to have sex, you would know what to say, so that means you don't. Just tell him you don't want to have sex with him. If you're not going to have sex with him, it would be a good idea to not accept the vibrator from him either. You could also stand to chastize him for barging into your room uninvited.

I was recently hospitalized with shortness of breath, and all testing came back normal. The third night I was much improved. I knew I had three hours between nurse visits to do some catching up. I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I got fully naked with the exception of my IV line, various EKG pads, and a cardiac halter monitor. Within 5 minutes I had worked up to a very intense arousal when I heard pounding on the door. A nurse asked if I'm there and OK. I was about at the point of orgasm when I moaned, "I'm just going to the bathroom." She said, "you sound short of breath and your heart monitor is showing an attack," and they opened the door with a key, right as my orgasm happened. I was caught by a code team of 5 (1 doc, 4 nurses). Three left immediately, but after a brief pause, the other two adjusted the monitor, reattached a wire that was tangled at the IV, and changed two semen-coated pads, despite my still-erect state. As she was changing the pads, the nurse glanced down and said, "Sure looks like you passed THAT stress test." We all laughed. Just a note to anyone in similar situation: DON'T masturbate when on a cardiac monitor!!! Should I send the staff another apology, but of a more formal nature? (age 49)

You don't need to apologize to anyone for masturbating in the privacy of your own bathroom.

My older sister went in my room to use my computer because hers wasn't working, and many times I had watched porn and read masturbation sites like HealthyStrokes.com. So when she was typing the web site she wanted to go to, she scrolled down and saw the sites I had previously visited. She called me up from downstairs, and came to my room with me and told me what she saw, and asked if my friends told me to look at it or I just wanted to. And she told me to delete my history on my computer from now on. I also told her not to tell our mom. This is THE most embarrasing moment of my life, and I will never forget it. (female, age 14)

Just relax and follow her advice about deleting the search history.

The other night, I was masturbating under the covers when my mom walked in, and I quickly stopped and pretended to be drowsy. She came in anyway and gave me a kiss goodnight and left. My door was closed and it was late at night, and I was under several layers of blankets. Do you think she knows? She hasn't said anything about it and she acted like she didn't see. (female, age 13)

I don't think she knows or saw.

My best friend - who's a guy - knows where the spare key is hidden to get into my house, and he came over unnanounced the other day and let himself in to get out of the rain. He sneaked up to my room because he wanted to scare me, but I had actually just finished masturbating. I was toweling myself off when he came in and he said that he thought I'd just gotten out of the shower. He started apologizing for intruding, but since I'm always very honest with him, I told him that I'd been masturbating and his whole demeanor changed. He wanted to talk about it, and he wanted me to show him and let him watch (of course I said no) and then an hour or two later I left my room for like 15 minutes, and when I got back to my room, my entire laptop history had been cleared, there were tissues that I hadn't put in my trash bin, and a pair of panties were missing. I know that some of this is natural behavior, but why does he have to be a weirdo about it? It's a good pair of panties too. How do I ask for it back? (age 16)

Your story seems very fishy, but if he's really your best friend, he will have no problem returning your underwear if you ask.

I was so close to getting caught 2 minutes ago. I was masturbating and I started to ejculate and my mom came in and I was in the middle of ejaculating and I think I was twitching. Do you think she just caught me? (age 14)

Yes, she did. Welcome to the club!

I think my mom or dad will catch me masturbating one day but I was very very close to being caught a week ago. I thought they were in bed so I was masturbating and heard footsteps thinking it's my sister going to the washroom. Then I heard my doorknob rattling and I panicked, pulled up my pants, grabbed my blanket over me and I am assuming I had a red face and looked scared, but do you think she caught me? I know they probably assume that I masturbate because of my age but I just don't want to get caught. If I ever do I would hope it's my dad so he can buy me lube (if he understands) but back to the topic, I hope she did not see me. It was just so fast. (age 14)

You did not say whether it was your mom or sister who came in, but if it happened so fast, she might not have seen. If you want your dad to get you lube, why don't you just ask him?

I usually have the house to myself on Wednesday afternoons, so I'll usually only masturbate then and on the weekends when my parents are out. It's always worked out great. However, last week my cousins stayed over at the house and were given a key to come and go as they pleased. The older of the two is 20 and has a car, so when it was out of the driveway I assumed that he was going to be gone for some time. I started my normal masturbation routine. I have a dildo that my friend who is 19 bought me and I stripped down and walked down to my basement like that. About halfway through (I like to take things very slowly) I decided I needed a glass of water so I just ran upstairs to get one but kept one hand on my clit while I did so I wouldn't have to start over again. I hadn't heard a car pull in or the door open and I am used to the privacy on Wednesdays to more or less run around the house naked, so when I reached the kitchen I was standing there stark naked, quite obviously masturbating and my 20-year-old cousin was sitting at the table eating a Hot Pocket! I got totally freaked out and ran up to my room. He came up and knocked in after 10 minutes and apologized and said he wouldn't mention it to anyone and said it was 'cool' and that he did it too and that he'd caught his little brother, my other cousin, masturbating a few days before when they were staying at my house. (age 17)

Yow. It's always a good idea to chain the door or whatever so that even someone who has a key can't come in without knocking. It's good that your cousin was cool about it.

It took until spring semester of my junior year, but I was finally caught by my roommate last night. I was going at it with my vibrator pretty hard and I heard my roommate stick her key in the lock but I was at a place where I just didn't want to stop. She came in and saw everything and said "oh..." and then left very quietly. As soon as she was gone, I exploded in the most furious orgasm ever. When she came back, I asked if she was having a good night and she just nodded. It's a thrill to know I can masturbate and not worry if she knows. (age 20)

What a memorable night. I think it would have been better if you had arranged in advance to signal that you wanted to be left alone by putting a hair tie on the doorknob. Now that the encounter is fresh in your roommate's mind, why not suggest that for both your benefit?

Do you know if more boys or girls get caught masturbating and why? (age 16)

Through surveys done here on HealthyStrokes.com, I can provide part of an answer. In surveys done in 2007 and 2008, males and females were asked their age and if they had ever been caught masturbating. The graph below shows the answers. Ages are by year from 12 to 24 and then in 5-year groups from 25 to 44. I have reservations about the quality of the female data but the male data looks exactly as I would expect. Among males (the blue line), the result is almost what is called a cumulative distribution: the percent gets higher almost every year. Among females (the red line), the percent goes up and down between 40 and 50 percent at most ages and doesn't end up any higher than at age 12.

Since more females than males masturbate in childhood (the only time in life this true), I suspect that a lot of the getting caught happened to females before they knew exactly what they were doing but most of the getting caught for males happened after puberty. The way I asked the question, I can't state this more precisely. But not until age 29 have a majority of males been caught. Thanks for giving me an idea for a future survey question!

I was maybe 16 and I was in Mexico with my mom her friends and one of my friends and everyone was going to go to the beach. My mom's friend Becky and I were the last ones to leave and on our way out I got the sudden urge to masturbate. I told Becky to go ahead because I forgot something and I'd be at the beach in a minute. She said OK, and I walked away without shutting the front door and into the bedroom and began to masturbate. Since I hadn't done it in a couple of days, I was enjoying it very much and making noises. I decided I wanted some lube so I walked to the other side of the hotel room where the bathroom was to get some and I walked past the front door and saw that I forgot to close it. I saw that Becky was still there in the hall waiting for me! I stared at her awkwardly then scrambled into the bathroom. She never said a word about it but I'm pretty sure she heard and saw what I was doing. (age 20)

Wow. Just wow.

I've been masturbating since I was 12. But I was never caught. Just now, my mom walked in on me asleep with my laptop in front of me (and a porno web site up) and I was naked. I fell asleep and forgot to close the tabs! She woke me up and asked me "Why are you naked?" then looked at the screen and pointed "What is this?" then just went to sleep in her bedroom. What should I do? I'm so embarrassed. I think my mom is very open minded but i just didn't want her to know. It's too weird. I'm afraid of what she'll say in the morning. (female, age 14)

Your mom won't say anything in the morning and you won't have to either. Even if she objects to the porn, she won't say anything about you masturbating.

I was 14 and had only recently started masturbating. I was masturbating prone (yes, I know it's bad and have since quit, thank you for HealthyStrokes.com) and had my head turned to one side so I couldn't see and hear my bedroom door so well. My dad suddenly burst in without knocking and was all excited because he'd gotten chocolate pudding for dessert. I turned around and annoyedly said "OK, fine!" and he looked shocked by what he was seeing. I turned beet red (I think) and he shut the door in a hurry. I finished what I was doing and came out for dinner. Nothing was ever said about that incident again. (age 26)

That's a good story! I especially like how you went back to masturbating after your dad left. Most people don't say that in their reports about being caught. And since when is store-bought chocolate pudding something to get excited about?

I was 14 and it was a Saturday morning, around ten o'clock. I had just woken up and was lying in bed, still undressed with my usual morning erection and decided to masturbate. I put on my headphones and cranked up the volume, pulled the sheets back and started to go at it. My back was arched, my butt raised off the bed, my eyes were shut and I was stroking furiously when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to find my mother standing over my bed. I quickly pulled up the sheet and ripped off my headphones. She had come into my room to collect my dirty laundry. She said, "Next time lock your door," and walked out. That afternoon when my father came home from work, he walked into my bedroom, sat at the foot of my bed and said, "Your mother wants me to talk to you," then he started to laugh uncontrollably. I couldn't help but start laughing too. The entire talk was, "Every guy does it and if they say they don't they are lying through their teeth. Keep your door locked." (age 25)

I agree that every guy will be doing it eventually, but not every guy has started at 14. I'm glad your parents were cool, but you mother should really have left and come back for the laundry later.

I was staying at my uncle's place last weekend. I felt very restless and wanted to relieve myself. I had just reached the point of no return when my 13 year old cousin walked in. I tried to cover up but my semen had already started to spurt out. She was completely wide-eyed and gave me a big smile and walked out saying sorry. I felt like kicking myself since the door latch was loose. Since that she has been normal with me and has not reported to anyone what she saw that day. Is it OK with her or do I need to apologize to her and clear the matter? (age 19)

I really think all's well that ends well. You don't need to say anything.

Every time, my brother passes my room, he shouts, "stop wanking!" But I know he masturbates too. It especially bothers me when I really am masturbating and then I have to wonder if he saw. What should I do? (age 13)

If your brother is older, you can shame him by acting more grown-up than he does. And if he's younger, you might try yelling back, "I know you do, but what about me?"

I started masturbating recently. I live alone with my mom and her sleeping habits are irregular. Some nights she'll get into bed and for half an hour and then go get up for water, some nights she stays up until she thinks I'm asleep and then she'll go and some nights she will just be out like a light. This is a pain because I don't get a lot of time in the day to masturbate because of school so I end up doing it for an hour or so when I go to bed. The problem is I don't know when she's awake or if she can hear me or whatever and when I'm done and use the bathroom she might get mad that I'm up so late if she can hear me.

She doesn't know about I'm masturbating and I don't want to tell her because she will tell all of her close friends who will tell their sons (my friends).

This web site is brilliant! (age 13)

I think your problem is that you're taking too long to masturbate. There is really no reason to be doing it for an hour, especially when you have severe privacy issues. Most males your age masturbate to orgasm in 5-10 minutes, sometimes longer, sometimes less. That is especially true of routine daily masturbation sessions. Some guys like to take a little longer with a slow, relaxing session when they have extra time, but for quotidian masturbation, most just get it over with.

I don't think you should tell your mom you masturbate, but I think you should tell her you don't like that you share all your private business with her friends.

When I'm home alone I go on the computer and look at erotic pictures but I am always worried about someone walking in on me so I have to keep getting up every few minutes to check that nobody is about to walk in on me. I can't relax and my masturbation sessions may last for a couple of hours which I enjoy but a couple of times people have walked in and I've just had enough time to pull up my pants before they notice what I'm doing. I'm just worried that one day someone might find me halfway through orgasm and I won't be able to cover up. (age 16)

When it happens, it won't be as bad as you imagine.

I was helping clean the home of my mom's best friend who is 30. I discovered some old Playboy magazines in a closet, and started to look, and I touched myself a little through my pants until I had a small wet spot. This was the first time I had actually seen a nude girl in a magazine. All I had seen before was online. She saw me rubbing myself through my pants, and to my surprise, she asked me if I needed to stop working and masturbate. I was stunned, but she said she masturbated often. Before I could answer, she handed me some lube, and said she would give me privacy. I masturbated for the first time with someone knowing it. (age 18)

I think your story is fake. Anyone who read the parts of the story I edited out would also believe it is fake. But anyhow, I will answer you at face value. At least the parts I didn't delete. The story had a happy ending for you, but it could have gone very terribly bad. You are always taking a chance by masturbating in someplace other than your private space, even if you're only rubbing yourself through your pants. Your story suggests you were alone with her cleaning her house. Be especially careful when you're alone with a woman in a situation like that. I also think the woman was being too intrusive by suggesting that you masturbate and offering lube.

When I was 13, I was staying late at school and all the kids were called into the computer room to do their homework until their parents came. I couldn't study because everyone was making too much noise, so I asked if I could do so in the classroom down the hall. I was alone in a desk and started to fantasize about a boy in my class. I put my hand down my pants and started flicking my switch when the teacher on homework duty walked in and asked if everything was all right. I froze and said yes, but that I didn't feel very well and that my leg was really sore. She just asked if I needed to call my mom and I said no, so she walked out again. I was so embarrassed, especially because I've never gotten along very well with that particular teacher! (female, age 15)

I can't stress enough that it is a bad idea to masturbate in a place where you don't have privacy. That teacher could have caused you a lot of trouble.

A years ago, there was a week when both my parents were away for holiday and I was all alone at home. One afternoon, I had a sudden urge to masturbate. As I knew the whole house was mine, I decided to do it on the couch in the living room. I was not informed that my cousin was coming over to keep me company while my parents were away.

When I was about to ejaculate, the door flung open. My cousin said hi. She was stunned but stood there till I finished ejaculating! I ran to the bathroom to clean up. I went back to the living room where she was watching television. She looked at me and smiled, asking me to sit beside her. She asked, "Was that how boys masturbate? I have not seen one before." She sounded so curious. Finally she added, in a soft voice, "Can I help you with the fun the next time around?" I didn't answer her.

The following day, while I was in my room, she knocked on my door and entered. I was shocked the moment I saw her! She was wearing only a bathrobe with pink panties underneath and no bra! She was very well endowed and had a very exciting body shape! I got the biggest boner ever! She asked, "So are you ready for my hand now?" I was lost and kept quiet. She pulled down my boxers. She rubbed some lotion on her palm and slowly stroked me. Her hand was so smooth on my penis that I had the most wonderful orgasm ever. When it was over, she said, "That was an awesome experience for me! Thanks." and left the room.

I can't get my mind off that day because that was the first and the only time I had a hand job from someone else! I fantasize about it often. It was not so bad being caught masturbating after all. But was that incest? (age 22)

I think your story was fake, but most people say that cousins being sexual together is not incest.

During the summer my cousins, my sister and I spend a lot of time at our grandfather's house. All of us play in the pool together and spend most of our days in our swimsuits. My male cousin often gets out before the rest of us and I used to think nothing of it. Once I also got out and went to the loft we all sleep in. I walked in on him masturbating on the couch naked. I understand that masturbation is normal, but I feel very embarrassed that I caught him and saw his penis. Now he avoids me and doesn't talk to me. I want to tell him something like "It's OK," or "I understand." At the same time I don't want to embarrass him more. I just want this awkwardness to end! (age 14)

I suggest you ask him how the cousins could signal to each other when they want to have privacy in the loft. If there is no locked door, maybe you could hang something next to the entrance that means don't come in.

During an overnight retreat with a group of my friends last week, I was fascinated by one of my female friends who was wearing a tight mini-skirt that day. In the middle of the night, my mind was still full of her sexy body in that tight mini-skirt. Since everyone else in the men's cabin was asleep, I went to the bathroom to masturbate. I was so engrossed in my fantasy that I forgot to lock the bathroom! That same woman burst in to use the bathroom. She opened the door just as I ejaculated, and some of my semen landed on her clothes!

I was stunned silent. She gave me a shocked look, staring at me for a second, and then at my rapidly shrinking penis. She then quickly went out of the bathroom and closed the door waiting for me to finish cleaning myself.

We are still friends, but I am completely embarrassed! (age 25)

I have a suspicion that your story is fake, but I am short of stories for this page lately.

I like masturbating every chance I get. A few months ago in a class with only a few students I caught a male classmate masturbating. We were both in the back and he didn't know I saw him. He had his fly open and he was stroking his penis pretty steadily while he was staring at a girl in front of us. He was large for our age and I had never seen another guy stroke his penis before. A month later, used the bathroom at school. When I used the urinal, I had a huge erection so I had to bend forward to go. I couldn't go back to class like that or everyone would laugh at the bulge in my pants. Since I was the only one in the bathroom, I pulled my pants to the floor and lifted my shirt up and masturbated. It felt so good being almost naked in there stroking myself. I was close to orgasm when another boy came in to use the urinal next to me. I couldn't stop even to pick up my pants and I ejaculated all over the urinal and wall. I was pretty embarrassed after but he just watched and said "good one, dude." At least I learned that he masturbates too. (age 15)

Those were both extremely dangerous stories where you each could have gotten in trouble. He had his penis out in class? The teacher could have seen that. You had your pants all the way down at the urinal? What if the assistant principal or hall monitor had come in? I always advise against masturbating where you don't have privacy.

I grew up an only child of a divorced mother and we always talked openly about all things, including sex. At age 14, she walked in just as I ejaculated and she saw everything. At first she was startled but then she sat down on the edge of the bed and we had a discussion about it. She even told me that she did the same thing and that she would give me a tube of lube and magazines and tell me to be sure to lock the door always. My mother was amazing about being open and always truthful. I could talk to her about anything and she always told me the unvarnished truth and she still does. She is what mothers should be! (age 21)


When I was in a hostel last year, I was masturbating naked. When I was about to ejaculate, my 20-year-old cousin who was staying in the same room came in and stared at me for while. I was shocked and stopped. Later he told me I should use the hostel bathroom where generally all males masturbate. He also gave a condom packet to use. It was a nice one. So I learned to use condoms when I masturbate. Being caught is not always painful. (age 19)

Hostels (where people sleep in same-sex bunkrooms with anywhere from 2-50 beds in them) are tricky because the people staying in them are often sleeping in shared accomodation for weeks at a time. So obviously they're going to be doing some masturbating in the hostel. Be glad it was your own cousin. I think there are some stories about hostels on the page about masturbating in college dorms.

My brother was on the top bunk and I was on the bottom. All of a sudden I got an urge to masturbate. I did it slowly as I knew he was awake. He said, "what are you doing?" I said, "just moving my leg." Do you think he knows? My mom says, "you were in the bathroom for a long time." I look really suspicious because I'm all red and sweaty. (age 13)

It is worth believing that your brother knows. I think you would enjoy masturbating more if you had answered "masturbating" instead of "just moving my leg." Next time your mother says you're spending a long time in there, ask her if she wants a full report on your bathroom activities.

My twin cousins (age 12) and I were under a tent that my younger brothers had set up in their room. It didn't take long before we started talking about puberty and masturbation. They told me they were too scared to try it, because they knew that once you start, you can't stop. Eventually we started to compare our penises and I got an erection, as did each of them. I started masturbating and so did one of my cousins, but he chickened out and quit because he said it burned. Right when I started getting into it, I saw my 6-year-old cousin watching through a crack in the tent. I'm not sure if she saw my erection, because I had my boxers on with my penis hanging out the opening and my knees lifted so it blocked her view. The shock of seeing her watching made me orgasm right then. I don't know how long she watched, but she never mentioned it. (age 13)

She almost certainly didn't know what you were doing, but you should have stopped as soon as you realized she was watching. I suspect your twin cousins will each start masturbating frequently sometime in the next six months.

I have a big stomach. My aunt teases me about size and says, "can you see your penis when you pee?" and that always makes me blush. Two months ago, she came to stay at our house as she recently sold her apartment. Last Friday afternoon, I was home alone. I had a sudden urge to masturbate. As no one was home, I dropped my pants and masturbated on the couch in the living room. When I reached the peak of my orgasm, the door opened and my aunt came in. She stood there for a moment as I ejaculated.

I was mortified not knowing what to do next. My aunt told me that it's OK but I should be doing it in private. I was embarrassed but also excited that she had seen me.

Later that evening, my aunt came to my room and gave me a bottle of lube telling me to use it to enhance my fun. Then she teased me again saying, "for having a huge penis, you shouldn't have a problem looking at your penis while peeing, even though you have a big belly" and left my room giggling. (age 20)

I don't think that's a happy story. You are the one who lives there and she is a guest but she is criticizing your choice of masturbation venue when SHE invaded YOUR privacy. It was nice that she gave you lube, but it is not nice at all that she makes fun of you for your weight.

My mom and older sister came home early and caught me masturbating nude in our family room. They were both understanding. Mom has four younger brothers, whom she helped raise, the youngest only five years older than me. She said my uncles were always playing with their peters, and not to worry. My sister said her boyfriend told her that between him and his four younger brothers, there was always somebody masturbating in their house. She said I was bigger than her boyfriend. (age 18)

I can see a mother and older sister saying that to a 13 year old, but you are an adult and shouldn't need all this reassurance that masturbation is normal. How interesting that neither of them said that she masturbates. If they were so understanding, what you should have told them was that you won't masturbate in public areas of the house anymore.

I was effectively caught masturbating once when I was 14. I lived with my mother and brother. My mother owned a few porn tapes. When no one else was home, I would borrow the tapes one at a time. One day they left and came back earlier than I expected because they forgot something. I was caught with one of the tapes, but at least I had my pants on. A few minutes later things would have been much more awkward. It was obvious that I was about to masturbate. My mother broke the tape and threw it away, which was shocking. Beyond apologies, no words were said. I think she wasn't angrier or more surprised because I have several older brothers. Borrowing the tapes was a stupid thing to do as it was an invasion of her privacy. If there is a lesson to this story, it is to get your own materials and remember that being caught with something you aren't supposed to have is the same as being caught in the act. (age 24)

You weren't caught. Being seen with a video tape is not the same as being caught half naked with your hand vigorously stroking away. Read the rest of the stories here if you're not sure.

Follow-up: You're right. I should not have said being caught with porn is the same as being caught with penis in hand. It is still being 'caught' though. When evidence that you've been masturbating becomes known to someone else it does cause embarrassment and potential shame. If you were in the middle of something, even if you manage to stop in time you still face many of the consequences of being caught completely unaware. In that sense the two events are the same. I don't think my story loses validity because I managed to pull my pants up before she entered the room. I haven't read all of the stories here, but I was halfway down the page before I got around to adding mine.

Thanks for sharing your story of something that I don't think anyone would want happening to them.

My mom walked in without knocking and saw me masturbating at my computer. I have a cold so she said, "how do you expect get better if you stay up late wanking?" Then she blamed me for keeping her up. Then she slammed the door angrily. I believe she's a control freak! I feel so embarrassed. (age 21)

You should be embarrassed, but not because of masturbating. You should be embarrassed that you're an adult and you let your mom tell you how to do things and have at least some expectation that she will help you when you have a cold. A grown man doesn't need his mom to get through a cold. And he lets people know when they barge in without knocking.

The first time I was caught was by my girlfriend. We had spoken about masturbation. She said that she had only done it a few times but not regularly. I told her the truth, that I used to do it a lot before I was with her. She was my first steady girlfriend. She was 16 and I was 18 and we had been dating for a year when she moved in with me. I had already had my own place for about 2 months. She was still in school and I had Fridays off work so that was the day I tried to get stuff done at home. I wanted to have sex before she left for school that day, but we didn't have enough time. I slept in late and woke up about noon and was feeling horny so I started stroking myself. She usually didnt get home from school until after 3 so I thought I had plenty of time. I went to the living room where the TV is. I was taking my time and trying to masturbate as long as I could.

With the TV on and the A/C going, I couldn't hear anyone pulling up. It was around 1 when the door opened and I was in the recliner lying back with nothing on. I didn't worry about my girlfriend catching me much but she wasn't the first person to walk in. She had her friend with her that I had only met a couple of times. My girlfriend walked in right after her. Her friend didn't notice me until they were both in. They both looked over and saw me trying to stand up. I had K-Y all over. It caught them both by surprise, her friend turned and hide her eyes, and my girl just looked surprised. They had never seen a man masturbating before. I went straight to the bedroom and wanted to masturbate to orgasm because I would be hard until I did. My girlfriend walked back to the room and said they were both sorry and she was gonna call but wanted to surprise me. I told her she did and to tell her friend I was sorry and that I needed to masturbate to finish.

She had another idea. My girlfriend and I had sex in the bedroom to get me finished. When we came out her friend just looked at me and grinned and after we all started talking, her friend asked if it felt good beating off. I told her yes, I know how to please myself.

A few months later the three of us were drinking and masturbation got brought up. My girlfriend had already seen me masturbate to orgasm by then. Her friend said she wanted to see a man do it. I was surprised when my girlfriend said, "why dont you beat off right now for us." I had masturbated thinking about them catching me before, but I didn't think her friend would bring it up again. Apparently my girl and her friend had spoken about it a few times. I hesitated for a while when my girl pulled me to the bedroom and stripped me down. She started giving me oral and jerking me off and asked me to do it myself and show her friend. I didn't hesitate after she had got me going and her friend walked in the room and watched as I masturbated in front of both of them. I could tell she liked it. I've always wondered why women would not do the same and rarely admitted to masturbating at all? (age 29)

Your girlfriend admitted it to you. You could have said that if you were going to masturbate for the group, everyone would have to masturbate. But you didn't. Next time put a chain on the front door before you masturbate in the living room.

I usually masturbate in my room and for that I lock my room. Today I forgot to lock my room and my younger sister who is 13 saw me naked and masturbating. What should I do? Will she tell my mom? (female, age 16)

I doubt your mom is needed to mediate this. Your sister is old enough that she probably masturbates herself. If you say anything at all, you can apologize for not locking your door like you usually do.

When I get the urge to masturbate, I close my bedroom door and either pull a magazine out or put a video on my computer. My mom knows I masturbate as she knows I purchase girlie mags, and I leave them in a magazine rack under a table. Sometimes I come home to find that my mom has been through my magazines. Once I found that some of the pages that had stuck together had been pulled apart. Is it odd that my mom does this, especially at my age, and should I do anything about it? When masturbating in my room with my door shut in the afternoon, if I hear footsteps outside my door, should I hurry and make myself presentable, or should I just carry on and if I get caught, so be it? My mom never knocks when she wants to come in. (age 19)

Does anyone else live with you? It might be them and not your mom who is going through your magazines. You would be within your rights to ask her why she has been in your magazines. You should also insist that she knock before opening your closed door. I think you should buy a lock for your bedroom door. If you don't do that, then don't rush your masturbating because you're worried about being caught.

Yesterday was the first day of school and I caught a ride home with my best friend and his mom. I got home and was changing out of my uniform into my shorts and t shirt and decided to masturbate before getting dressed. I was on my bed naked doing it when my best friend barged in the door to give me my backpack, which I left in his mom's car. He stood there for like a second with this look on his face then said I'm sorry and ran out. I had to get up and close the door and when I did, I think my mom saw me naked and erect. I don't know what to say to my friend now. (age 15)

Your friend almost certainly masturbates too, so he can relate to your situation. He didn't say anything except to apologize, and you don't need to say anything either. Just be as you usually are around him.

I had just started masturbating when suddenly my door opened and my mother walked in with my baby brother in her arms. She closed the door and said, "What are you doing?" I thought it would be easier on both of us if we talked about it. So I pulled my shorts up, went into the living room to tell her what I was doing. She just said "whatever." (age 18)

When she closed the door, she knew what you were doing, so saying "what are you doing?" was probably a nervous reflex. There was no need to tell her what you were doing, and you only made her uncomfortable (hence the "whatever" response.) But if you're going to be living in the same house with a baby, it would protect both of you to have a lock on the door. You can ask her or your dad for one and mention that you don't want the baby walking in on anything (once it starts walking).

I was caught twice in my younger days of masturbating. The first time wasn't in the act. It was after my very first time masturbating. I didn't know anything was going to shoot out, and I was standing at the edge of my bed rubbing a sock up and down my penis. I ejaculated all over the blankets. I got really scared (because I had no idea that would happen) and slipped over to the bathroom to clean myself off. My mom went in my room to put clothes away and found the fresh mess! When I came back I was horrified! She wasn't mad. She just said, "what happened?" I was really scared and said I didn't know it was going to happen and that it has never happened before. She just started laughing and said it was normal. She said to have fun with it as much as I wanted.

We never talked about it again. She always knocked after that or asked if I needed more time. She never told me she was doing this, but I started noticing more lotion around the house, and she would make sure I always had tissues for "allergies."

The second time was by my stepmother. She didn't know I masturbated because I was 11 so maybe she just wasn't sure. She poked her head in the shower to be sure I had washed my hair just in time to see me ejaculate. She backed out quickly and kept saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry. She later said she wouldn't do that anymore, and that she didn't know I had started masturbating. (age 19)

Thank you for illustrating that most parents are either pro-masturbation or are more embarrassed for intruding than they are upset that their offspring is masturbating.

Do you have a story to tell about being discovered masturbating?

You may contact the author via e-mail or if you wish to be anonymous, enter your questions and comments in the box below. Your question may be also answered on the male or female or TMS pages.


What is your age? Male Female


HealthyStrokes.com is not designed to provide medical advice and does not provide medical advice. All material is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on HealthyStrokes.com carefully and confer with your doctor, psychologist, or other health care professional as needed.