... a site about masturbation and you!

Some people don't like

I saw your page for Christians and I would like you to buy a tape from a church group that will set you right. (age 20)

I looked at the site for that tape and I notice its position on masturbation is completely contrary to mine. You might have noticed that most of the quotes on my page are from Lutheran theologians and other mainline protestants and not from pentecostals?

I am a Christian. Most Christians say masturbation is a sin and they give reasons why it is and very good reasons at that. You are acting as if masturbation is not a sin and you are practically saying that lust isn't a sin because you are telling these children to use whatever triggers their need for masturbation to masturbate, and you probably mean lust. I think you are very confusing because you are saying youre a good christian but in another way you're also saying you lust after women and masturbate which is a sin. If I am wrong about something please let me know. Because I think you have to be either uneducated to actually think that lust is OK or just reaching the point of insanity. (age 16)

I doubt that most Christians believe masturbation is a sin. I and the Christians I quote on my Christian masturbation page say it isn't. I don't advocate using whatever triggers one's sexual urge for fantasy if doing so would cause problems. I tell people who are concerned about fantasy that they can probably masturbate without fantasy if they do it only once a week.

Hi, great site! Your info on prone masturbation was interesting, as I have often wondered why the sensation is different if I masturbate on my knees facing forward or standing up into a sink. It bothers me though to see two things: 1.) this constant reference to every guy masturbates. This is just wrong/untrue. Just because the majority of people do it and they think everyone else does it, is not a fact that everyone does it. I didn't start until I was 19. Now I am compulsive and answered yes to a number of your questions in particular being late and feeling like I missed an opportunity. This has been a major issue between my girlfriend and me, but one that I am growing more control over. It is not so much the masturbation that is the issue, but looking at porn. Anyway, for other young men this statement is untrue especially for really devout Mormons who are explicitly forbidden to masturbate. 2.) In response to someone else you say that no one maintains an erection for 3-6 hours. On a binge I can easily masturbate for 6 or more hours before orgasm. The orgasm is very strong and the only reason I have one is usually needing to finish because of needing to do something else. (age 25)

  1. Many authorities on male sexuality assert that every male masturbates, and some say there are no exceptions. You (and I) started later than average, but you note that you are trying to make up for lost time. I suspect that the prohibition by certain religions doesn't lead to less masturbation but rather to more guilt. Mormons (and Baptists and Catholics and Muslims) are biologically the same as other males and have the same sexual fluids that need to be emptied and the same urge to release their semen as Methodists (and Lutherans and Jews and atheists.)
  2. I suspect you did not have an erection during that entire 6 hour binge.

I think that you should not say that there is nothing in the Bible about masturbation because there is a scripture about God not wanting us to spill semen. Your site gives out awesome information, but you should know your facts before telling them. I have been going through a time to stop this habit because it's getting out of control. I have checked many sites and they keep saying it is good but it's not, and if you don't believe in God, than you can say it's OK, but I think you all need to stop, just as well as I'm going to. (age 16)

If you read my Christian page, you know that I do believe in God, and that the Bible says nothing about masturbation. The example you cite is the story of Onan, whom God ordered to impregnate his sister-in-law. Onan withdrew before ejaculation and "spilled his seed on the ground." For this, God struck him dead. (Gen. 38) God did not kill Onan because he "spilled his seed," but because he disobeyed God's order. I don't think you can quit masturbating, because the surveys I've done for this site found that 30-40 percent of men have tried to quit at some point. All of them failed. I wish you luck anyway, but I hope after trying to quit, you'll accept that masturbation is something normal, even necessary, and a fun gift from God.

You shouldn't have told that guy not to tell the girl he thinks about her when he masturbates. Of course, you shouldn't go around telling people you fantasize about them, but that goes out the window if somebody asks you. If they ask, and you want them to know, you should tell them. Maybe they fantasize about you too and want to experiment. (age 15)

Never, ever tell a female you fantasize about her when you masturbate. The chances are extremely low that she will find this appealing, and the chances are extremely high that she'll regard you as a pervert and tell a lot of her friends, acquaintences, and enemies what you said.

From my personal experience, I know that when you stop masturbating, you don't see people in a lustful manner anymore and you aren't as tempted in a sexual manner. Your life seems more satisfying to God. I think the guilt that many children experience after masturbating is their concience, which is sometimes the Holy Ghost telling you that masturbating is wrong. The old definition of masturbating was self-abuse, and the Bible tells you not to abuse yourself. (age 14)

My personal experience extends well past the age of 14. I don't know how you can tell what you are doing is satisfying to God or not. You've made a fun play on words, but the fact remains that the Bible says nothing about masturbation. You don't need to feel guilty.

Generally speaking your site is educational and informative, providing a good forum for frank questions and answers, especially to younger readers. However, some of your answers are contrary to medical and psychological studies. For instance, you told a 37-year-old man that he should seek psychological help since he masturbates twice a day. According to conventional wisdom, the number of times a person masturbates in a day does not matter unless it interferes with daily activities. Regarding oral sex you say that a majority of women disdain it and prefer that a man not come in her mouth. My experience with the 10+ women I've had sex with over the last 25 years is the exact opposite. They got very turned on by the act of fellatio and loved it when I came in their mouths and always swallowed. Finally, you seem to discourage anal sex as an alternative to vaginal sex. Anal sex is steadily becoming part of a normal couple's repertoire. You should change the advice you give about anal sex. (age 40)

Perhaps you should start your own site and give that advice there. The man in question was masturbating three times a day, and I recommended professional help not because of his frequency but because he was convinced that not masturbating that often would cause migraine headaches and baldness. Three times a day is indeed extreme for a married man. "Conventional wisdom" in this area is too often dominated by people I call IIFGDIs. ("If it feels good, do it.") An IIFGDI would be in denial about any sexual practice being unhealthful, and wouldn't say so if they thought so anyway. I said many (not most) women refuse to perform fellatio, and that many (perhaps most) won't swallow. I told this to a 14-year-old girl in letting her know she wasn't alone in her distaste for semen, but advised she might change her mind later. Anal sex is a patently unhealthy activity, and this site's mission is based on sexual health.

I don't like your site. I read through every question and response on your site and I disagree with many of your answers. I have been reading another site I find much more useful than yours. You seem to be completely unwilling to accept anything other than "normal" masturbation. I understand the risks of prone masturbation and anal stimulation but what is wrong with using a toy or pornography? You don't seem to answer these questions anywhere in your site and I think your readers are getting the wrong message. (age 20)

I'm sure I have, but I'll answer them again now. I don't know that there's anything wrong with using a toy as long as it doesn't hurt the user or make him or her habituated to it. I caution younger readers about using visual aids too often too early but other than that only recommend that people be able to masturbate without visual aids once or twice a month. "Normal" masturbation provides the easiest transition to intercourse. I can't explain why, but guys who masturbate the conventional way have the fewest problems adjusting to sex with a partner. Also, most guys find it perfectly satisfying. If you truly understand the risks of prone masturbation and anal stimulation, why don't you write that to the author of that other site, which promotes both.

I am so angry at the Webmaster now, scaring everybody half to death like this. Everyone, consider the source! This is a guy who majored in sexual psychology, (Not what I majored in. -Ed.) and is probably still studying for an M.D. (I never was. -Ed.) He read a few articles, misinterpreted them, and put this bogus info on a site, asking you to buy sexual items at the same time. (Nothing is sold on this web site. -Ed.) Hey Webmaster, go back to school! (Already back. -Ed.) Get a few more diplomas! (Working on them. -Ed.) Become a REAL psychologist, then you can talk. To put it simply, a flashlight which is low on batteries still works, you just can't see much light. (All the darkness in the world isn't powerful enough to hide the light from a single flashlight low on batteries. -Ed.) A battery recharger (girlfriend, lover, fiance, or wife) will allow you to see again, especially with a special "adapter" if you know what I mean. (No, what do you mean? -Ed.)

This is to the guy who masturbates with his penis between two pillows. I was shocked and disgusted at him for saying that to you. You were concerned if what you were doing was wrong, so you gathered up your courage to say something very personal in a place that's so public, seeking comfort for your concerns (probably from your peers), and what does he tell you? He comes right out and tells you that you are "abnormal" and should only masturbate the way HE tells you to. I haven't taken any psych classes or anything, but I have done some extensive research surfing the Web, and just about everywhere I went to, there were at least two people on each site who do the exact same procedure, although it's usually not done face down. The 2 pillows represent female breasts. This might be an unconscious fantasy, or a conscious fetish, but nothing is wrong with you if you do this. It is perfectly natural and healthy (recommened substitute for fetish) to substitute pillows for breasts; however, actually massaging your penis between two breasts is not healthy if it must be repeated to get sexually aroused. It's also not very sanitary for either partner. If you aren't sexually satisfied with what he told you to do, go back to the pillow technique, but don't use it as a crutch, in moderation only.

To that other guy who's done it "prone" for 40 some years and jacks off several times a day, if you have a lifestyle that promotes a healthy sex drive, and a wife or fiance to boot, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I would, however, recommend that you drink hot cocoa just to be safe. I on the other hand, have no partner in any sense of the word, but I don't intend to have sex anyway.

Wow, it really warms my heart to know I have readers like you. I didn't see a question in there, so I guess I have nothing to say.

I? about to finish up my Ph.D. program with University of Leeds, England. I don? know how the states work but with your lack of knowledge and obvious lack of research and fake or poor statistics, you should be taken off the web. You take serious disorders and give horrible advice that could damage them and claim the truth with your answer. Doubting this will be displayed, stop your adolescent psychotherapy because you sound like a 60-year-old puritanical pedophile that does this to get off. Because if you had a degree, you would realize your ignorance. You know nothing, stop acting like you do. If you don? know an answer, don? use "incest" for places of typical adolescent development. Or prone masturbation for children in the discovery aging. Or modification of religion based on your own puritanical ways and history. So my question is this, what is you motivation? And tell the truth, not what you want the children to hear. (age 27)

Is there really such a person as a "puritanical pedophile"? It's funny that you call me one since pedophiles call me a pedophobe. I think you might be jealous because over 4500 people read my web site every day, whereas no one is interested in your dissertation. I bet there are parts of it even your advisor hasn't read.

I read through your responses and was unpleasantly surprised to see you presenting some of your opinions as facts. I appluad you on expressing your opinions, but think it is wrong for you to call exhibitionism not normal. I ask you if you are going to be giving advice to try harder in separating your opinions from facts. (age 16)

Exhibitionism is not normal. In most circumstances, it's against the law.

Your site is very obviously a hoax, dude. Your faith is very apparent (if you're being serious) but it's clear you really have no evidence. What is "FULLY HALF"? It's oxymoronic and makes absolutely no sense. And your answer to the question "is this a joke" is a laugh if I ever saw one. Not to mention the convenience of not being able to affiliate yourself with your major research institution. Also, if you're such an important figure on the subject, why don't you have an e-mail more befitting of your position than the ever-so-prestigious

Not a bad joke to try to pull on the minority of people who get themselves off differently, but you need to make it more foolproof. By the way, your statistics really suck. Any idiot who knows anything about statistics isn't going to be fooled by that fabricated load of crap.

The only "trauma" comes from the people who practice such a method and actually are stupid enough to believe you.

Well, if Yahoo! is not your speed, you can always write me at And "fully half" means "at least 50 percent." It is a commonly used phrase, commanding 84,600 hits on Google, including such exemplary users as the Washington Post and one of the Bush brothers.

Why did you reply that the Washington Post and the Bush Brothers used that phrase, as if that would justify the phrase being oxymoronic? So what, that makes three of you. I can't stand the way you try to justify things, and make it something it's not. Your accuser was right. Your site is a hoax. And you never did answer his question regarding your affiliation with a major research institution. You're probably lying about that too. (age 30)

I think my problem is that I answered him. And you.

I have never heard of prone masturbation. The use of such terms as correct, abnormal or unhealthy, especially when addressing impressionable and fearful youngsters is unprofessional and dangerous. Remembering my own experiences as a young boy, the unhealthy position you describe was a way to stimulate a broader range of sensations. I first discovered it by chance while wrestling. I remember masturbating by straddling a cushion to recreate the pleaasure. I find it puzzling that in most of the diagrams, anal parts of the anatomy are omitted. Those who fear homosexuality, deny any form of pleasure in the anal region as they deem it exclusively homosexual. And people like you attaching so much baggage to it serve to enstill fears and contribute to neurotic disorders in both heterosexual and homosexual men, or drive an otherwise heterosexual man to regard himself as homosexual. I think this site is part of your homophobic agenda in a bid for redemption. (age 60)

You will never again be able to say you have never heard of prone masturbation. You might also read Dr. Sank's article, in which he calls prone masturbation incorrect, and a bunch of other words. The diagrams are quite old and were not created especially for I encourage young people to keep an open mind about their sexual orientation and avoid potentially dangerous practices until they are old enough to deal with the consequences.

I don't believe what you have to say and I think that you are causing people unnecessary anxiety. I've been masturbating prone for more than 25 years about 3-6 times a day when I'm not in a relationship and up to three times a day when I'm in a relationship. Usually, the first and sometimes the second time in a night that I have sex with a girl, I orgasm fairly quickly (2-10 minutes). If we do it more than twice in a 6 hour period, I don't orgasm unless I really try, but I've always thought that was a good thing. The only caveat being that I've never orgasmed while a girl was on top, but that has never bothered me either. Also, contrary to your statistics and with the exception of my the last couple years of my marriage, I have had intercourse with my partners on average about twice a day during the week and about three times per day on the weekend. As I've gotten older, I find that I do it somewhat less, but combined intercourse and masturbation, I orgasm at least twice a day every day. I think that my experiences are fairly typical. If you truly obtained your statistics from a survey, I suggest that you scrutinize the demographics of your sample. I should say that during the periods when my two children were conceived, I managed to restrict my masturbation to a couple times a week (always prone), but otherwise I wouldn't suggest worrying about masturbating too much or the wrong way unless you're chafing, which has happened to me a few times. (age 41)

My site says that 61 percent of males who masturbate prone have one or more severe sexual dysfunctions, and that means that 39 percent don't. Consider yourself lucky. However, your orgasmic frequency is extreme. How can you compare your "sample" (number of cases: 1) to mine (number of cases: thousands)?

I haven't laughed so hard since I went to a Steven Wright comedy show. Great information you give. You must laugh a lot during the day which is even better for your health. I really like the way you deal with those who seem to hate this site and try to trash it. (age 27)

Steven Wright? The last time I heard anyone talking about him was four years ago ... no wait, it was yesterday.

You claimed to be a Christian, yet you recommend some acts that are sin like adultery, homosexuality, premarital sex and pornography. Even if there is such a thing as modest pornography, it leads to pornography with sexual acts which is wrong! Even looking models with underwear leads to lusting more. You can't support these behaviors and still have a relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord. (age 15)

I have never recommended adultery or homosexuality. I don't condemn people who practice them in every case. I don't think mere nudity (with no sex acts) is pornography and I don't think it's wrong as long as the models are consenting and compensated. Many Christian theologians approve of premarital sex under certain circumstances. You are not my conscience.

You are wrong about nearly 100% male masturbation. I am 25 and don't do it. You say it is healthy and males need to do it? That is what wet dreams are for. Just because you enjoy it, you make young people think that they should be doing it too. Masturbation leads to porn which is the leading cause of sex crimes. Do you enjoy promoting rape, incest and pedophilia? Your site enables grown men to read about little girls and their private endeavors.

I don't see how your claim of non-masturbation (if true) falsifies my claim on nearly 100%. Not very many people who use porn commit sex crimes. I oppose rape, incest, and pedophilia whenever I am asked about them. I think the possible harm of letting sex freaks read about what young people do is outweighed by the good that comes from helping those young people with their problems.

I can't believe what you're telling these young girls. Ask your mom for a vibrator? Telling them to use candles and vegetables! This is very unhygienic and unsafe, as the wall of the vagina can be damaged. I am a Christian and am saving myself for a lifelong partner. I think that the use of sex toys is not a good idea, as you are training you body to react in a certain way, and it can be harder for your partner to please you. No offense, but your male opinion is not especially helpful to these young girls, as you have no frame of reference. I suggest you refrain from answering questions you cannot know the answer to. (age 17)

Most of the girls who write me have no one else to ask about masturbation. Their friends don't know anything, the schools don't teach anything about it, and they can't ask their mothers. I think it would be a very positive step if a girl could ask her mother for a vibrator, and that's why I suggest it. I advise against the use of candles and vegetables, but females continue to use them. I always say to clean them before and after use and to be gentle. I applaud your decision to wait, but you might read the letter not too far above this from a newlywed woman whose abstaining from masturbation has caused her honeymoon to be underhappy. Masturbation is healthy, fun, and very beneficial. It does not detract from saving yourself for a partner.

I have female correspondents to whom I refer especially challenging questions. I will cease giving advice to women when Dear Abby, Dr. Laura, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Dr. Ruth, and their ilk stop giving advice to men.

You give some really bad advice. Like that question about the 4 friends that like to have oral sex with each other. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's not what you say. They're 14 years old and that's plenty old enough to experiment. That's what you should be telling them. (age 18)

That question was probably fake anyway, but 14 is much too young to be having any kind of sex. Any reasonable person would believe that. That's why the age of consent for sex is higher than 14 in most places.

I do not think you are in any way qualified to be making statements and giving advice as you are. The way that you phrase your answers and the type of advice you give, in my opinion, are very dangerous to the sexual health, self esteem and confidence of many young men and women. I think that it is entirely inappropriate to be telling young people about "correct" ways to masturbate, highlighting how "most" people do things, and what they are "too young for." I believe most real experts (e.g. Dodson, Ruth, etc) would certainly agree with me. Please stop negatively affecting the minds of our young people -- what you are doing is entirely irresponsible. (age 25)

What I think is irresponsible is sending a pubescent child into the world with no sex education, which is what most parents and schools do these days. The mere fact that anyone asks me questions at all is ipso facto proof that they have no parent they can ask. Admittedly, an e-mail exchange is not a substitute for a personal relationship with a sexually knowledgeable superior, but it's better than flying blindly.

Do you have a degree in psychology? I would not object to your obsession with masturbation if you were dealing only with adults. Imparting wisdom from your twisted psyche to children is as inappropriate as the incest you describe. MOST homosexuals realize they are gay at very young ages and they are just as wonderful as straight children. Most women fantasize about a penis that is large, not small, and it feels good! Humans do not commit to a sexual preference as you suggest. Our daughter asked for permission to access this site (apparently considered a hoot with her friends) and after reading your potentially devastating replies to impressionable and sometimes troubled kids, we declined and directed her toward more balanced research. My husband and I have medical degrees and just want to point out that your motives for operating this site are suspect at best. Calm reason and understanding in the stead of threatening institutionalization would be in order if you were serious about helping young people. We can't help wondering if you are or were a priest of the Catholic faith? (age 31)

My degrees are not in psychology and I am not a cleric.

You need to change information that you are telling young ladies here. I am a mother of a 17 year old daughter, and I have studied many articles about teen sexual matters to be prepared when she asks questions. Men do not have to "eliminate fluids" from their bodies. I asked my husband about this and he says it's complete nonsense. What would become of priests or people who are born with no hands or lost their hands or ability to use them in an accident? Will their testicles simply expand until they look like softballs and eventually explode? I think not. (age 55)

I suspect you have been reading articles that focus on the female and not the male sexual experience. Every boy your daughter's age knows that his sexual fluids have to be eliminated frequently, and that it is great fun to do so. I think it is better if they masturbate and not ask your daughter for help. The average adolescent male finds it hard to think about anything else after five or six days without an orgasm. Testicles won't expand to the size of softballs, but they will start to ache when they haven't been relieved at the interval they are accustomed to. The main source of congestion is actually the prostate gland. Some early studies have found that men who masturbate most frequently in their teens and 20s have the least incidence of prostate cancer later. I hope you are not making fun of people without hands. Some of them masturbate prone to adapt, and for others, their doctors or therapists use a masturbation machine to do what they can't. I think most priests masturbate often. Men who manage to give up ejaculating -- those few men who succeed often take years to quit -- find their sweat starts to smell like semen because they are eliminating their sexual fluids through their lymphatic system. I don't think this is good for them, and it would be better if they ejaculated.

I think it is wrong to supply closed answers like you are. Who are you to tell someone that they are "too young" to be experimenting with another girl? If it feels right for them and it is not going to cause harm or a dangerous situation then what is the problem? You do not know the girls personally, or the situation so how can you tell them that it is wrong? People should be encouraged to explore their sexuality and their bodies in the ways that best suits them, as long as it's safe. They should not have it put down by you. I do not believe that your answers on masturbation are correct at all. Many people may be hurt, feeling guilty or even depressed by your closed minded answers. (age 18)

I encourage young people to wait. There are lots of ways to be hurt by exploring sexuality at a young age. If these young people don't want my advice, then why do they ask me?

Follow-up: Who are you to be concerned with the people asking this man for advice? You do not know the girls personally either so why are being so rigid? I ask this man questions a lot and he has helped me avoid hurting myself. You remind me of Fred Phelps, the anti-gay preacher. You are a pro-gay version of him. (age 14)

I am absolutely horrified by the "advice" given on this site. Horrified.

There is a negative response to pretty much any question that hints at homosexuality or any kind of early experimentation (either heterosexual or homosexual). Many of the responses given are so judgemental (i.e., "you are not normal for doing this," "I don't approve of that").

It really worries me to think that pre-teens and teens might be using this site as a resource. Young people need a non-judgmental atmosphere in which to discover and experiment with their sexuality. These experimentations happen at a younger and younger age.

Not once is therapy suggested for any of these situations that you apparently see as "problems," nor is talking to a trusted adult or older sibling. You are spreading misinformation and in the process (mostly through your tone), making teens feel ashamed about their sexuality...that they are masturbating too much, or in the wrong way, or while thinking about the wrong things. There is no right or wrong when it comes to your own sexuality, except in the situation of non-consent.

I will be spreading the message to anyone and everyone I can that your site is filled with a judgemental tone and a ton of misinformation. I am in school to become a sex educator/therapist, so I feel like I can reach a lot of people.

I appreciate your efforts to spread the word about my site. Remember, there's no such thing as bad publicity.

If you are studying to become a sex educator, then surely you have encountered many libertine people. I call them IIFGDIs (pronounced i-FIG-dees), which stands for "if it feels good, do it." There are people in sex promotion who are so hell-bent on defending particular lifestyles that they will not denounce any sexual practice, no matter how extreme and no matter how much medicine and science have informed that these practices are harmful to sexual and general health. I see the effects of IIFGDI indoctrination in your statement, "There is no right or wrong when it comes to your own sexuality..."

My site is contrary to IIFGDI dogma. I write it from a standpoint of sexual health. While I do not support the abstinence movement, which ill-advisedly urges waiting until marriage, I see a lot of sense in young people (e.g., under 18) waiting longer. Thus, I frequently advise people 16 and under to wait. Sexual experimentation at a young age is not a good thing and leads to pregnancy and illegitimacy, STDs, emotional distress, and distraction from things young people ought to be working on.

I have suggested professional help to correspondents many, many times, and I frequently refer questions beyond my knowledge to one or more active mental health professionals. My guides for young people (Young Man's Guide, Young Woman's Guide) both conclude with the suggestion that young people talk to a parent, sibling, other relative, or friend they trust if they have more questions.

I hope you will choose health over libertinism as the philosophy that guides what you instruct as a sex educator.

This is a HORRIBLE website. The "advice" you are offering these people is shameful. I'm not talking about the fact that you are talking about masturbation. I think that is wonderful, being a safer sex advocate myself. But you constantly use the term "normal" and put people down for their decisions to make unharmful sexual choices. And the suggestion to the young man questioning his sexuality was despicable. You obviously have NO conception of what sexuality really means. I just hope to whatever forces might be out there that you don't scar these youths for life. (age 22)

I'm concerned about some of the advice you give - you would appear to be either very young, or very religious, or both. Or perhaps simply inexperienced. A: Being older than you, I'm very, very flattered if someone describes me as young. I go to church regularly but make no effort to convert others.

You seem particularly judgmental, ill-informed and personally influenced over issues of sexuality. You should not simply state that something is a fact when in actuality it is simply your own opinion. You are not speaking to your own children. As a pseudo-professional, you do not have the right to influence your readers' opinions on normal heterosexual/homosexual behavior in this way. A: Oh, but I do. See here.

Freud said that the only abnormal sexual behavior is a total lack of it, although admittedly, he was a total pervert. (age 37)

It's interesting that you're citing a total pervert to counter my way of addressing healthy sexuality. Pictured below is the central tool of what I do: the normal distribution curve. When people write to me from the head of the bell, I tell them they're normal. When people write to me from one of the tails, I tell them they're on the tail.

Suppose for a moment that you have a 9 year-old daughter. Your 9 year-old daughter accidentally discovers that it feels good when she touches herself. Curious about this new feeling, she goes up to an adult man that she hears knows a lot about these types of things. The adult isn't a medical or psychological doctor, nor a relative, friend of the family, or even anyone she knows personally. Just an adult male who claims and advertises an in-depth knowledge of the subject. She says to this adult, "Sometimes when I touch my privates it feels kind of good. What does that mean?" The adult then explains the intricacies of female masturbation to your 9 year-old daughter and then segues to a number of other issues of sexuality.

As the parent of this 9 year-old girl, how would you feel about this exchange taking place? My example is in my opinion an accurate representation of what your site accomplishes, with only one detail changed: It's face-to-face, in "real life," instead of online, via a web site. If a 9 year-old girl had that same question quoted above and came upon your site, by chance or by referral, she would not only be told to masturbate by a complete stranger, but also happen upon a wealth of information that has little relevance to her original question. There's a reason that kind of exchange would be considered inappropriate in a real-life face-to-face situation. It is just as wrong to do it online.

I understand that kids' embarrassment about the subject is a problem, and you seem to have found a solution in creating an anonymous forum to field such questions. I just don't think it's a viable solution. It solves one problem while creating another. You shouldn't take it upon yourself to take decisions about when children should be exposed to sex information out of the hands of parents. You might believe it's good for kids to know these things now. Even the experts might think so. But that doesn't necessarily mean that the parents agree, and it's still their decision. And it should remain their decision. Not yours.

I understand your concern. But it is the parents' responsibility to screen what their children read on the Internet, not mine. I have no way of knowing if the people who write me are the age they say. I know there are a lot of people who lie in both directions. I also have no way of knowing if people's questions are legitimate. I rationalized years ago that if they are fake, they are only wasting a few seconds of my time and their question is probably something that someone else has as a genuine concern anyway.

In my Young Man's and Young Woman's guides, I advise them to ask someone they know and trust if they have further questions. I do not advise them to write me in those guides. But they still do, by the dozen, every day.

If it were my child, I would be very concerned if they were having face-to-face conversations about these things, but I would not be very concerned about largely non-interactive messaging where the recipient knows nothing about the child, where he lives, or even his name.

I get positive comments from parents all the time about this site. Many young people have written me that they showed their parents the site and the parents approve.

I may be young but I know a lot about sexuality and sexual health because my father is an OB/GYN and I'm planning to be an OB/GYN and sex therapist. My concern is that you tell young girls that they should use vibrators or shower heads as they produce sensations that a partner cannot duplicate and it might make it harder for them to achieve orgasm with a partner. Many sexuality experts say this is a negative thing to tell girls, as most women have extreme guilt when they cannot orgasm during sex. A woman's sexual experience should be based on doing things that feel good, NOT focusing on partner sex. (age 18)

Many sex experts spend a lot of their time helping women get over "vibrator fatigue" and teaching them to reach orgasm on their own. I see the value of a vibrator for a woman who has gotten to be in her 20s or later and cannot reach orgasm with her hands, but I do not see this same need for a girl of 13 or 14 who is merely bored with masturbating by hand. I don't think anyone needs to be guilty about not orgasming in sex, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't work at doing things that facilitate that kind of orgasm rather than impede it. Good luck at becoming an OB/GYN eight years from now.

I have been masturbating for more than 30 years. While I believe that most of the information on this site is good and accurate, there seems to be very little scientific data regarding prone masturbation. I have masturbated prone many times over the years and don't believe that it caused any problems for me. A true scientific study would find many people who have masturbated this way without developing problems. I think that telling young boys emphatically to stop this practice and could cause worse sexual hangups for them.

I believe that a lot of sexual concerns are developed early in life, but they can happen any time. It seems odd to me to focus on one particular issue, prone masturbation, which may cause problems for some people and not others. Some of the problems that your case studies reveal could also have been caused by something other than prone masturbation. I'm just concerned that your effort to discuss healthy masturbation includes recommendations not based on scientific fact. (age 42)

Ah, but I state clearly on the site that "only" 61 percent of prone males are currently suffering from a sexual dysfunction. That means that 39 percent are not, yet. 61 percent is very high. It is much higher than the 33 percent of smokers who will die from it. It is much, much higher than the 12 percent of women who will have breast cancer. Certainly it is worth mentioning when males in their teens and 20s are already suffering because of it. I use all of the scientific facts available to me and hope more will be uncovered soon.

The site which is taking about this masturbation is the dirtiest site I have ever seen in my life. Thanks Allah that I am Muslim and Islam protect Muslims from these dirties and filthy. I can not believe myself how these dirty habits the European and other societies who say we are open societies do. I can not deny there are some Muslims who make these dirties but the defect is in theirs not in Islam.

I also not deny that there are Muslims Leaders who give permissions for adults to masturbate only to prevent them from adultery or engage in sin relations.

The crises is that all your advises regarding the masturbations are destructive. How can you advise a child to have sex or even encourage them to do that. Your thinking is really very ruddy. The healthy stroke site is the worst site I have ever never seen in my life.

How you encourage people to have sex from anus which is the basis for AIDS and most common diseases. How can you encourage people to have sex during the period of the women? It is completely immoral. All people who work in this site are diseased people.

I am not surprised to see such dirty people because we already learnt this in our holy book Qur`an and I know quite well that this dirties are normal for dirties people like you.

Finally, I have only one thing to tell you: - all the European sex life and their life in general looks as it fantastic to others but in fact it is exactly like THE ANIMALS LIFE. I mean they appear to be clean, intelligent, clear, cleaver?tc but vices verse is the correct definitely.

Although my English may have some language mistakes, I hope you got my idea and my hate, detest, loathe????????..YOU.


What do you call a 37 yo somewhat homophobic male who is not an M.D. or psychologist who enjoys spending an inordinate amount of time corresponding with adolescent males about their masturbatory habits? At least you are not a priest or a coach (I hope). Please leave this business to those who are experts in the field or who are at least willing to be identified by full name. Your surveys and science are self-selected junk, and your motivations are far from pure.


It's rare that people like me are called that name...

I seem to have stumbled across your web site in my travels and I must say that I'm horrified at the judgmental advice you are giving such young adolescents, especially to the girls. Masturbation is a completely normal healthy act no matter how you choose to do it. What authority do you have to tell a 13 year old girl that it's not OK that she looks at porn? Who are you to say when one is "too young" to experiment in homosexual situations? You state in your disclaimer that this web site does not provide medical advice, however only a medical professional would have license to declare what is normal and healthy. You are preaching to young people at a very awkward stage of development; giving them a complex about their bodies and sexual urges could be extremely harmful. I suggest that unless you believe that there is a health risk in their behaviors, that you advise those to come to you for guidance to be free to explore.

What is your basis for declaring it "a normal, healthy act no matter how" it is done? With a power drill? I make it very clear on my site that I believe there is a health risk in prone masturbation and other behaviors. Why do you believe you have more of a right to preach than I do?

You make it sound like masturbation is a necessary habit for one to be normal. In every response you give, you encourage readers to masturbate, giving the strong argument (a totally false one, however) that everyone they know does it. Your surveys say that 100% of men who are potent masturbate regularly. How false can that be. I started masturbating when I was about 11. When I was about 14 I had an Internet connection. It didn't take long before I became a porn addict and spent hours in front of the PC searching for more porn. My relationship with others soon deteriorated. It was the darkest period of my entire life. About two years ago, after I made a bond with God, and I succeded in overcoming my addiction. It was easier to stop looking at porn, but it took a great exercise of strong will to stop masturbating. But I was soon over with it. It took me about two weeks to completely stop masturbating. I've been clear for two years now and everything is going just great. I have excellent school results, lots of friends, and so much spare time to spend on useful activities. Also, medically speaking, I'm OK. Nothing happened with me after I stopped masturbating. I still have regular erections, every morning, and I have a wet dream about every 2 months. That's something I can't control. If I could, I would. So please tell me, what's abnormal with me, if I don't masturbate at all? (age 19)

I think your whole story is a bunch of lies. A male can't quit masturbating in two weeks. I've heard stories of monks who said it took them years, and it required basically a full-time effort. Anyway, if you've put masturbation behind you, why are you reading But to answer your question, a 19-year-old male who doesn't masturbate is abnormal in a statistical sense because all the other males that age masturbate and also abnormal in the medical sense because most prostate trouble at that age is caused by not ejaculating often enough.

How old are you? What makes you think you can provide advice on these matters? Especially for the women?? Your responses to legitimate questions about masturbation and fantasies, experiencing and coming of age are so judgmental and possibly damaging. It pains me to think what must be going through the minds of some of the people that ask questions only to here your terrible uneducated and thoughtless reply. Just who do you think you are? Put a disclaimer with ever answer that says "I'm an idiot. Don't listen to what I have to say." (age 32, male)

I guess that phrase just comes naturally to you.

Does your mother know you have this site!?

She does not spend much time on the Internet.

I have been reading through this page a little and noticed something that you do that is incredibly wrong. I dont think it is any of your business to be giving any advice on morals or ethics. If their parents are OK with whatever they are doing, then it is not up to you to tell them that they are bad or wrong. All you should be giving any advice on is whether or not it will hurt them physically not if YOU think it is OK to have a threesome at 14 or whatever. You are following the way of politics. Let them make their own decisions on promiscuity. (age 26)

I believe in right and wrong, and if someone asks my advice, I will share my beliefs with them.

I really would like to know what your credentials are. I think that your advice is that of a teenage boy. They don't hit upon the actual questions at hand. This site is misleading and only seems to reflect your opinion and not fact. You really shouldn't be allowed to give advice to anyone. (age 21)

I have a masters degree from a large midwestern university and am working on a Ph.D. from one of the leading research institutions in the world. I have been writing this site for almost four years and have also been leading an online support group for males who masturbate prone which now has over 750 members. Most of the people who write me are grateful for the advice I give.

I was astounded that so many ridiculous questions were asked. I understand that you must take into account that each entry may very well be a confused individual whom is in need of guidance however you MUST get the suspicion that some of these questions are being manufactured by Internet vandals whose deviant thoughts should not be spread to places where young people come for advice. A child or teen can be very impressionable. I am just disheartened to read this. Maybe a screening process is a good idea. (age 39)

And those are only the ones I publish. You should see the ones I delete without a second glance. When I post a suspected fake, I generally think that if it's a legitimate question, then it's from someone who really needs my help. Sometimes I delete these suspected fakes after a couple of days so the questioner has a chance to see it but it doesn't become a permanent part of the site. You could help me by telling specifically which ones you think are fakes.

Do you have a degree in psychology? I would not object to your obsession with masturbation if you were dealing only with adults. Imparting wisdom from your twisted psyche to children is as inappropriate as the incest you describe. MOST homosexuals realize they are gay at very young ages and they are just as wonderful as straight children. Most women fantasize about a penis that is large, not small, and it feels good! Humans do not commit to a sexual preference as you suggest. Our daughter asked for permission to access this site (apparently considered a hoot with her friends) and after reading your potentially devastating replies to impressionable and sometimes troubled kids, we declined and directed her toward more balanced research. My husband and I have medical degrees and just want to point out that your motives for operating this site are suspect at best. Calm reason and understanding in the stead of threatening institutionalization would be in order if you were serious about helping young people. We can't help wondering if you are or were a priest of the Catholic faith? (age 31)

My degrees are not in psychology and I am not a cleric.

Follow-up: I have written here before and just wanted to say thank you so much for your advice. I have definitely calmed down a bit since talking to you and I have learned a lot by reading your site. To the 31 year old asking if you were a Catholic priest and accused you of being obsessed with masturbation, I say I hope you didn't get down about that rude comment. This site is actually educational and the kids who write these things here obviously have no other resource. Reading comments like that will not help those kids to continue asking questions to this site if it is the only thing they trust when it comes to questions on sexuality-based material. Thirteen is kind of young to decide if you are homosexual or hetero, because your sexual hormones are just developing. This is a really good site. (age 15)


How did you find out about it? Probably from a search engine. Girls that age can find it just by entering a word like "masturbation" or "hymen."

As much as I think that your intention is good, your conduct is less than appropriate. Your opinions sway girls and boys in ways have a lasting effect. You give them your opinion which may not be the question asked or their stance. You are over general, deciding as you will when people can have sex, 16 okay, 14, wait till college. You send mixed messages. Change, get a standpoint and shape up. You are similar to the sex doctors on TV. They also talk to young girls and boys without a degree. You're either a concerned parent with no merit or a pedophile. I'm sure you won't respond, but which of the two are you? (age 27)

I'm neither.

You have to be the worst person to give advice to anyone!!! I know you have a disclamer on the site, but still you are an idiot and should not have a site that tells what is right and wrong about masterbaition. Masterbation is an individual experience, and you have no ground to say what is "normal" get a life you goof. (age 20)

I wish to express my dismay at certain aspects of your site. I feel that they are most offensive. By this I am referring to the way you discuss homosexuals in your question about group masturbation. Just because a male may wish to engage in activities of a sexual nature with another male, does not mean that they have any pedophilic tendencies or the will to hurt another. I strongly suggest that you revise this wording. (age 18)

What I say in the Young Man's Guide to Masturbation:

You should not engage in sexual behaviors with other people until you've been masturbating for a few years and are comfortable with your body. If another guy asks you to masturbate with him, tell him that it's a private activity. If he's not your friend, or if he's older and more experienced then you, it's possible that he wants to hurt you in some way, and you should tell a parent or another authority.

I simply say that group masturbation, or masturbation with another male, should not be done by males who are inexperienced at masturbating. I raise the perfectly sensible point that if the person who wants you to masturbate with him is not your friend or is older and more experienced, that it's possible -- not inevitable -- that he wants to hurt you. What could be better advice than that?

This web site is a joke, right? It seems like you put in a few of your personal opinions regarding masturbation, and then made up some silly argument against "masturbating prone" with only a survey of a small number of people to back up your argument. Masturbating in the prone position could only be harmful to the knees or back due to the stress placed on it. (age 27)

I haven't gotten a message like that in a long time. I don't think anyone would believe the site is a joke after they see how large it is. The original survey had only 119 men in it, which was apparently good enough that it was cited in an article in the Journal of Sex Research in 2007. The last two surveys of males I've done on this site had 8911 and 10,642 males in them, respectively. Those are huge numbers of respondents.

I am writing because I disagree with many of your views on masturbation. Many of the answers you give to these boys writing in are misleading and simply untrue. I will say before I begin, however, that much of the information you provide is helpful and accurate. As to your claim about avoiding sexual contact with other males, but not females (with regard to masturbation), I have to disagree with you here. Every statement you make about mutual masturbation with other males is aimed at discouraging homosexual activity. So what if these boys are or turn out to be gay? You make it seem like they should resist being gay until they can't take it any longer - "innocent until proven guilty," if you will. Your responses and claims make it seem like they shouldn't "give into" the being gay until they KNOW they are, when in fact many young males may have their sexuality clarified earlier by experimenting - whether they turn out to be gay or straight. Please be more careful with what you tell young boys about sexuality and masturbation. (age 20)

Are you also writing to other masturbation web sites, including libertine ones, and telling them the same thing?

Your site has so much false information that it's ridiculous. You need to really read up on some of your sex information. Let's give an example:

I understand why I feel like urinating when I masturbate internally, but why is it the same when I masturbate externally? (age 15)

Does this person really understand why they feel like they have to urinate when they masturbate internally? It's because she's hitting her G spot. Your answer didn't reflect that and you mentioned about men feeling the same way. You give false information about pregnancy. Maybe you need to do some more sex research? (age 19)

It does not follow with necessity that because she feels like urinating that she's found her G spot. In fact, that is contradicted because she gets the same feeling while masturbating internally. I can't help but feel my answer is better than yours.

Your site provides a lot of advice, but I think you should leave it to professionals. Dr. Drew is great. I'm in college. There is a class called human sexuality, and you should take it. I don't know what your motivation for having this site is, but it shouldn't be up. (age 21)

Actually, Dr. Drew has mentioned this site on his show. There is a class called civil rights and liberties, and I think you should take it. You get to learn about the First Amendment and free speech. For an alternate view, read this:

I'd like to thank you for providing practical advice in this area. In rigidly conservative backgrounds, many of these questions cannot be asked, so you are helping many people who would otherwise go on "in the dark." Keep up the good work. (age 22)

You have no business answering questions the way you do. You are frequently condescending and judgmental which does more harm in promoting healthy masturbation habits and views than good. Your interest is in pontificating. (age 32)

I think you provide insubstantial and vague advice mostly consisting of "I think so" or "I don't think so" without backing anything up with any sort of evidence. You're no more useful than a person with common sense, which these fools seem to lack. (age 22)

I often cite survey research and experts. Saying "I think so" is better than shoving my opinion down someone's throat and merely helps to guide them in shaping their own sexual philosophy. Sometimes guidance from someone with common sense is all a person needs.

I read your article on prone masturbation. One journal article postulates this theory and you're printing it as fact? This is VERY irresponsible reporting. Learn your subject.

I know a hell of a lot more about prone masturbation than the doctor who wrote that original article. He isn't the only one. See the articles page on for some other experts who have come to the same conclusion about the perils of prone masturbation.

I think it's disgusting how you discreetly promote uncircumcision on your web site. It is not your place but YOUR OPINION. I do hope you are aware that circumcision decreases the risk of getting infected with HIV 60% vs. uncirc. It is also sometimes a necesarry surgery do to the fact some men cannot retract their forsekin and if not cleaned regularly can cause a severe bacterial infection. I BELIEVE CIRCUMCISION WAS created initially to make it easier on the dude himself though out life, less work, less hassle, and much much cleaner. I personally am CUT and have the most amazing orgasms and do it bare handed I love doing it. Most guys/girls I know say cut looks better. I have a friend who isn't circumcised and he's always complaining about how he sometimes can't jack off because of his foreskin. STOP TRYING TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF NOT BEING CUT LIKE ALMOST EVERY ONE ELSE IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY and go get cut OR AT LEAST post the factual HEALTH PROS about circumcision THAT IS ALL. (age 22)

It really does seem as though you have your own issues with masturbation, and to be honest, I'm not convinced that the advice you are giving is sound. Telling people that they should be making masturbation schedules, or arranging for alone time in their rooms is simply ludicrous! And then to insist that someone has a problem because they masturbate more frequently than someone else. Your disclaimer states that this is not medical advice, so how can you possibly give a psychological explanation of a person's masturbation ritual, and tell them they are spending too much time masturbating. Quite frankly, I am offended by your web site, simply because you are in no way qualified to give this advice. I think that you have a very serious problem. (age 27)

I am a guide for an information resource web site and I stumbled across your site. I was about to use the site as a source for a reply to a customer when I realized what kind of information you provided. I can't believe the complete nonsense you're telling young people! I have some crazy fetishes and NEVER masturbate conventionally and I'm also in a sexually mature and fulfilling relationship. I've been in sexually satisfying relationships all my teen and adult life so far and I'm appalled at the completely baseless material you're posting. Do you have ANY medical, sexual, psychological or other behavioral expertise or are you just some nut who posts totally subjective OPINIONS? I'm shocked. I wish you would stop but I know you won't. I am having my employer ban your web site from our resource list. Peace out. (age 23)

I wouldn't want my site on the resource list of any employer that would hire you.

You're an ***hole. All of your information is completely biased. When a 13 year old tells you they are thinking of having sex, you tell them that they are "too young." Any person with common sense would know that is biased, and what you SHOULD be doing is giving them the cold, hard facts about sex, and leave the decision to THEM. I agree, 13 is too young to have sex, but I don't go around saying that, because the reality is that 13 year olds are GOING to have sex, and the best we can do is keep them informed. A lot of your responses are also rude. One guy said that him and his girlfriend had sex "3-4 times" and you said you "marveled at his inability to distinguish between 3 and 4 times." People don't come on here to get ridiculed by your ridiculous attitude. They come here for INFORMATION. So stick to the FACTS and leave your opinion OUT of it.

After reading a few pages on your site and doing all the polls, I'm starting to smell religious fanatic. One of your most questionable comments was:

"Keep in mind that if you choose to practice anal sex with males, you won't get to be the inserter every time. You'll have to take turns being the inserter and the receiver."

Perhaps you are just ignorant on this topic, but this is flatly untrue. In addition, your word choice implies that guys who are [receiving] would rather be doing the [other thing] ... this is also not true.

But the big issue is that you seem to be saying that 90% of people masturbate "the right way," and the other 10% are therefore obviously "wrong"; but that is sloppy thinking. Just because a majority of people do a thing a certain way doesn't mean they are right. So you need more evidence to support your conclusions rather than a simple 90/10. 90% of people in America probably go to McDonald's, but the food at McD's is still [awful] no matter how many people find it "normal" to engage in that practice. And in order to link a particular practice to a harmful effect of that practice, you need to link causation -- correlation vs causation. You have stated a correlation of (for instance) delayed ejaculation with prone masturbation, but what is the rate of delayed ejaculation in the population? Are your observations statistically significant? I have seen nothing on your site to suggest that it is.

If you looked at other species and were able to show that humans are the only species that masturbates in a prone position, well I suppose that might be interesting; except that it's not true. I have seen more than one dog walk across a room rubbing his [penis] on the carpet and enjoying it. So it occurs elsewhere in nature, and not just in humans.

Perhaps you are a teacher at Liberty University? I just can't imagine a REAL scientist, academic, or doctor having a site like this ... too much sloppy thinking here. (age 41)

I really enjoy posts like this one. I am religious but by no means a fanatic. Many people I know offline are surprised to learn I'm religious. When 90 percent of people do a thing, it is normal. That is what normal means. You are correct -- it doesn't make them right. From my surveys, there is no question that prone masturbation is a statistically significant cause of orgasmic disorder. From the survey of over 10,000 males in the second half of 2007, in which 4075 sexually experienced males answered both the anorgasmia and prone question, the odds ratio of having anorgasmia for someone who masturbates prone is 2.69, with log odds of 0.99. It doesn't get much more significant than that. The Yates and Pearson chi-square coefficients are 32.19 and 33.58, respectively, both significant P<.0001. This site isn't about animals. Anyway, if you can imagine a sexual practice, it exists in the animal kingdom. And Liberty University? That school isn't even on my radar. They don't even give Ph.Ds. From where I am in the academic food chain, we look down on just about everything, including every public university. (I don't mean to be elitist. It's just the way it is.)

Last break three girlfriends and I went to beach. One of us who's a wild virgin disappeared for three days, said she was in love with a 24-year-old man who picked her up, and she could barely move, walked funny, and said she was sore from all the sex. He said he did her 6 times on the beach the first night, then they went his motel, and stayed naked in bed 2 days and nights and he kept making love for 3 days. She says it was 30 times, and he took Cialis. I'm not a virgin, had much sex with three boys my age since I was 14. I think she's lying. What do you think? Can men do it more times than boys? Does the size of an erection determine how many times? Could a man taking Cialis or Viagra do a girl 30 times in 3 days? Do ED drugs work on boys my age? If so, which is best? (age 16)

Research has found that the number three tends to appear disproportionately in the statements of liars. That doesn't mean three can't be a correct answer; merely that when someone makes up a number for something they don't know, they will often choose three. There are a lot of threes in your story: three girlfriends, disappeared for three days, six times (2*3) on the beach, making love for three days, 30 times, sex with three boys your age. I think your story is fishy. Sexually experienced men can have intercourse more than boys, to a point. The size of an erection does not affect how many times he can have intercourse. 30 times in three days is hard to believe even with an ED drug. ED drugs work on boys your age. I don't recommend one over another. A doctor would have to prescribe it anyway. One more thing... if your friend's story is true, she's no longer a wild virgin.

Follow-up: YOU WEREN'T VERY NICE & YOU MAKE ME MAD!!! Yes, we are "4" very close GFs, all our lives we have done and we do EVERYTHING TOGETHER. The "4" of us went ON HS BREAK TOGETHER TO PADRE ISLAND, SHARED 1 ROOM WITH 2 DOUBLE BEDS, you know 2 girls to a bed, WE TRAVEL CHEAP. The "wild virgin" left us, let's see, 1 from 4 leaves "3." Yes, SHE was gone "3" days, would you prefer that I report only "2" days or "4" days? FACT is she was gone "3" days, and I said "3" days. SHE SAID they had sex "6" times on the beach, which you sarcastically arranged to be "2x3." YOU HAVE A WARPED MIND! SHE SAID he did her "30" times - again your evil mind thought that was "3x10." WHAT IS WITH YOU???? All I did was REPORT FACTS + WHAT WILD GF REPORTED. ME? Based on my limited sex with "3" "BOYS," remember, I have NO SEX EXPERIENCE WITH "MEN," but I DON'T FOR A SECOND BELIEVE 1 "MAN" DID HER "6" TIMES ON THE BEACH DURING "1" NITE. AND I SURE DON'T BELIEVE "1," even a "MAN" not a "BOY," "1 MAN" DID HER "30" TIMES IN "3" DAYS - EVEN IF HE WERE TAKING "CIALIS," which I know absolutely nothing about. I WAS ASKING FOR YOU TO SHARE YOUR KNOWLEDGE, YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ME. INSTEAD, YOU RIDICULE ME. I DON'T LIKE YOU. YOU AREN'T NICE. YES, I AM 16 - and YES, I HAVE HAD SEX WITH "3" "BOYS," so I said "3" boys, not "2" not "4" not "15," and I don't claim to be a virgin that I'm not. I haven't been since I was 13. DON'T YOU BELIEVE IN TELLING IT LIKE IT IS? I DON'T MAKE UP STORIES. I WROTE YOU BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO KNOW IF A "MAN" - NOT A "BOY" [1] COULD A "MAN" PERFORM "6" TIMES IN "1" NITE? [2] COULD A "MAN" HAVE SEX "30" TIMES IN "3" DAYS? [3] COULD "CIALIS OR VIAGRA" CAUSE A "MAN" TO BE SO HORNY, TO ACTUALLY HAVE SEX SO MANY TIMES IN SUCH A SHORT TIME? [4] COULD CIALIS OR VIAGRA COULD CAUSE MY PRESENT BF "#3" TO WANT SEX WITH ME MORE THAN HE DOES NOW? TRUTH? I MAY ONLY BE 16 BUT MY BODY WANTS MORE SEX THAN HE IS GIVING ME. HE ONLY DOES ME 1 TIME EVERY 2 WEEKS. You add in my period, and I'm get sex only 2-3 times a month. I WANT LOTS MORE SEX THAN THAT. I WANT TO KNOW IF I GAVE HIM CIALIS WOULD HE DO ME MORE OFTEN, LIKE "3" OR 4 OR 5 TIMES A WEEK? COULD HE DO ME EVERY DAY? ALL WEEKEND? WHAT I'M GETTING NOW IS NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE SEX FROM "3." IS CIALIS THE ANSWER? [5] COULD IT BE THAT I'M DOING SOMETHING THAT IS TURNING "3" OFF? I SURE NEVER TURNED OFF "2" OR "1." [6] MAYBE I SHOULD MOVE ON TO "4"? SHARE YOUR KNOWLEDGE WITH ME. DON'T RIDICULE ME. I'M A 16 YEAR OLD SEX HUNGRY GIRL NEEDING SOME GUIDANCE WITH "#3" TO DO ME MORE OFTEN. [7] IS CIALIS MY ANSWER?

I have a feeling you're not happy with my previous answer. Even if you were telling the truth, the girl who told you all the 3's could have been lying. [1] Yes, he could. [2] I think it is unlikely but I won't call it impossible. [3] Erection pills help a man who is sexually aroused get an erection, but they won't make a man sexually aroused. [4] No. [5] I don't know. He seems to keep coming back for sex. Why don't you tell him you'd like to have sex more often and see what he does about it? [6] Not until you've talked it out with number 3. [7] No.

Follow-up from another reader: Your response to the young woman talking about her friend who claims to have had sex 30 times is extremely amusing. Liars tend to shout a lot when doubted. (age 23)

I was amused by my response also.

I think your website and research are utter rubbish. If your university is so prestigious and your statistical analysis so good, why do absolutely no health care professionals consider prone masturbation to be a genuine condition? It is unrecognized throughout academia and this is unlikely to change. Your survey has shortcomings and would not be considered conclusive by any statistician, considering the participants are recruited clinically, not randomly. I think you should spend your time elsewhere and not try to indoctrinate people with your narrow view of how masturbation must proceed. Does it occur to you that some people might be perfectly happy to masturbate prone, even if there is some chance of sexual dysfunction? Significant numbers of people will never have sex, but may enjoy prone masturbation nonetheless. They should not be sent on some wild goose chase for a cure for prone masturbation. (age 50)

I am only the author of a web site. I have not written scholarly articles about prone masturbation. So chastising me is equivalent to chastising a journalist for writing about a topic you don't like. Many health care professionals recognize prone masturbation as a cause of sexual dysfunction. A new article about it was just published in the July 2014 issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine: Gila Bronner, MPH, MSW, and Itzhak Z. Ben-Zion, MD, MHS, FECHM, "Unusual Masturbatory Practice as an Etiological Factor in the Diagnosis and Treatment of Sexual Dysfunction in Young Men," Journal of Sexual Medicine, 11(7): 1798-1806. See more here: Let me rewrite your final lines and see how you like them: "Does it occur to you that some people might be perfectly happy to smoke, even if there is some chance of dying from cancer? Significant numbers of people will never have cancer, but may enjoy smoking nonetheless. They should not be sent on some wild goose chase for a cure for smoking."

You state that bed is the most comfortable place to masturbate, and I find that very strange. Why? Because it's not. How do I know it's not? Because everyone is different, and masturbation preferences are entirely subjective. If you want to say that most people find the bed the most comfortable place, fine.(age 34)

You are quibbling about words. According to a survey of over 8000 males by this web site in the first half of 2007, 49 percent of males do 50 percent or more of their masturbating in bed. This is far more than any other place. I suspect that percentage has risen since 2007 because of the decline of desktop computers and the rise of smaller portable devices (even phones) that are easier to use in bed. I have absolutely no doubt that bed is the most comfortable place to masturbate. And have intercourse. And sleep. Zzzzzzz.

I'm currently a medical student in college and you are incorrect about the statement that males must eliminate sexual fluids. Those fluids, primarily seman, aren't produced until just before the point of orgasm. They don't reside in the reproductive system 24/7 building up and threatening to just explode under pressure in the organs and cause all sorts of damage. Regular ejaculation may have health benefits for men, but nowhere that I know of does it say that ejaculation is a necessity. The statement that males need to eliminate sexual fluids is a lame excuse that teenage boys and guys in their 20's use to fool girls into sleeping with them by trying to make them think that if they don't get their guy to ejaculate through sex that they'll have problems. (age 23)

I don't believe you're a medical student and am wondering if you're even a male. Med students don't describe themselves as being "in college"; and you spelled semen incorrectly. The body produces semen and other sexual fluids continuously, just like it produces saliva, tears, stomach acid, and bile and stores them before they are needed. I really can't believe someone could believe that these fluids are manufactured the instant they are needed. A male really becomes aware of it when more of these fluids are on hand than usual. The organs will not explode if not relieved, but the feeling causes stress for the male. Needing to eliminate sexual fluids is a fact of life and not an excuse, but I agree that a female should not agree to intercourse solely because a male complains of needing to eliminate sexual fluids. He can do that on his own, as I discuss on every page of

Are you a medical professional? PhD my (expletive deleted)! Why in the (expletive deleted) are you advising MINORS on masturbation? Telling how to insert objects, and not to masturbate in ways that don't replicate intercourse with a partner some day? What in the actual (expletive deleted)? I'm reporting your (expletive deleted) to the FBI you sick pedophile (expletive deleted). (age 36)

I have said many times I have a Ph.D. and am not a medical professional. I only give advice to those who ask me, like you. I'm reporting you to the filthy language police.

Just letting you know more than “more than a few females” masturbate on a regular basis. Just as much as men do, if not more. Acknowledging this would be nice since girls are often shamed for masturbating while guys get to do it all the time and talk about it. Girls masturbate just as much. I wish people would realize this. (age 18)

No matter how much you wish it were so, it isn't. Masturbating is a universal experience for males over 16 (probably younger), and most younger males practice it daily or nearly so. Among women the same age, anywhere from 25 to 40 percent claim to not practice it at all, and among those who do, the frequency can vary wildly. There are women who claim they masturbate but only do it a few times a year. It is not unusual for a woman to say she masturbates often, but when asked how often, says once every two weeks. Women masturbate much more often than they once did, but nowhere near the frequency of men.

I took the "how much masturbating is too much" survey. This is what was said at the end of the survey: "Risks: Injury to the genitals, lack of energy, lack of motivation, [...] ." I suggest you should read what is said on the site you send people to before giving advice. (age 39)

I did not post that, and I do not agree with those views. Those comments were left by one of over 15,000 people who answered that survey. In over 10 years of my doing those surveys, you're the only person who has written me about what someone said in the comments.

When you suspect a story is fake, you either don't publish it or talk about how or why you think it's fake. Why do you do that? (age 26)

I am the author of this site, and I do as I please with the questions and stories that are submitted. If I suspect something is fake, I usually just delete it, often without reading past the first sentence. Sometimes I share something that I suspect is fake with my readers because I think it has something in it that I want to illustrate. I often mention that I think it's fake because I don't want my readers to think I'm an idiot who didn't notice something that's obviously fake.

I see that you have a Christian section on your site, and that you claim to be a Christian yourself. But you're not a true Christian. You're a sinner, and a liar who is misleading everybody down the wrong path in the guise of Christianity. And that is because you say that men should lose their virginity by the age of 21. A TRUE Christian knows that it is evil and a sin to lose your virginity before marriage, and marriage doesn't usually happen until you are in your 30's. You should be shamed of yourself that you are misleading mass amounts of children down into Hell with SATAN while pretending to be a Christian. (age 60)

It would be nice if everyone got married at around 19 as was once the case, but that is not the world we live in. Very few Christians of my acquaintance were virgins when they got married.

I have serious doubts about most of the claims you make on I rarely see you cite sources for anything you say. How are you qualified to answer questions on this web site? The most questionable thing I've ever seen on this web site is this claim you made on the discontents page: "Men who manage to give up ejaculating -- those few men who succeed often take years to quit -- find their sweat starts to smell like semen because they are eliminating their sexual fluids through their lymphatic system. I don't think this is good for them, and it would be better if they ejaculated..." You have no sources for this. I don't know what your motives are for having this site, but I believe they're questionable. I believe you're spreading harmful misinformation. (age 20)

I don't know what your motives are for writing to me. The story about components of semen leaching into sweat through the lymphatic system came from John Gray, a former monk and best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. He claims he gave up ejaculation for a period of years while he was a monk. To this day, he argues for the benefits of "semen retention," which is something I reject. I think (although am not certain) that Gray said that in an interview in the May 1997 issue of Playboy. See if you can find a copy of that issue.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality and am a published author. I have been studying sex since before you were born. I have been authoring this site for over 18 years, and I was formerly a consulting expert in six sexuality categories on a now-defunct web site. is not designed to provide medical advice and does not provide medical advice. All material is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on carefully and confer with your doctor, psychologist, or other health care professional as needed. Copyright © 2002-2020 by