Healthy Strokes - Male masturbation

Reader questions about masturbation

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A Young Man's Guide to Masturbation was written for parents to give to their pre-adolescent (and early adolescent) sons. It's not as frank as it could be, but would parents want to use it then?!

These questions and answers are general ones about masturbation and not specifically about TMS.

Many older questions have been moved to one of these topic pages:

HealthyStrokes.com is 10 years old!

HealthyStrokes.com debuted on February 4, 2002. Ever since, it is has been highlighting the problems caused by prone masturbation and helping males and females with their sexual health questions. Thank you to all readers for making HealthyStrokes.com a popular and informative web site.

I think my mom caught me masturbating and she isn't okay with it. She told me I need to stop when I was in my own room and left. What do I do? (age 13)

Either get more of the facts or don't do anything. You don't even know for sure that she caught you or what she wants you to stop doing.

My friends keep going on about how big their penises are and how small mine is and I want to prove them wrong. How do I do that? (age 12)

You learn to ignore them.

I have been masturbating since age 13. Lately I have been having some difficulties. Lately when I want to masturbate, I have a lot of trouble getting my penis fully erect. I can masturbate and ejaculate but it seems that I almost need to watch porn. At age 19 I feel like this shouldn't be a problem that worries me. Could this be because of a break up that happened 8 months ago or because I have never stroked my penis? It has always usually been more of a jerking of the skin. Please help! I miss masturbation!

There is nothing wrong with using visual aids. If you can masturbate to orgasm a couple of times a month without them, then I think you're doing fine. It would be better if you used a conventional stroking method and not a jerking of the skin. Abstaining for a week at a time is apt to make it easier for you to learn to masturbate conventionally.

When I was born my meatus (urethral opening) was at the base of my penis so I had an operation and now it is just under the head. Will this affect masturbation? I was told to go back to the hospital to get it moved to the right place but I said that I wasn't going because I felt embarrassed but now I want to get it in the right place but I'm embarrassed talking to my parents. (age 14)

If the meatus is now under the head and not at the tip, that will affect where you ejaculate and could make masturbation less comfortable than if your penis were normal. I would talk to a doctor about what your options are and pay careful attention to his advice. You ought not be embarrassed talking to your parents because they already know about your situation. Just tell them you want to talk to a doctor about revisiting your birth defect. There is no reason to say anything about masturbation or intercourse.

I've been masturbating since I was about 11, and 2 years later I am still unable to ejaculate. I masturbate once or twice a day. (age 13)

It will probably happen before you are 14. There is no reason to be concerned.

You advise uncircumsised males to stay away from the actual glans of the penis. Is this true, because this action turns me on even further. (age 15)

It is generally circumcised males who have to stay away from the glans unless they use artificial lube. Uncircumcised males have their natural lube to help them.

When I was about 12, I used unconventional ways to masturbate (e.g., hot tub jet stream/massager). I can get hard, but right before sex I can't get it up without oral sex. This happens even when I'm alone masturbating. Any advice on how to reverse ED? (age 18)

I doubt that what you did when you were 12 still affects you. To overcome your dysfunction, only masturbate or have sex when you have a good erection. This might mean doing it less than you do now. Try to find ways to have your partner stimulate you (besides oral sex) that will help.

I'm going to college soon, and after reading some of these masturbating at college stories to prepare myself, I keep seeing people worry they are going to be heard. I live in a house with 3 siblings and share a bunk with my younger brother, and so I learned to stop the noise: I cup my scrotum with the hand I'm not masturbating with. It stops the noise and allows you to keep masturbating without worry. (age 17)

That will stop some but not all of the noise. I think your brother knows you masturbate.

My 26 year old sister just got implants and had a tummy tuck. She has been showing everyone. I can't get the image out of my head, and I masturbate thinking about it. (age 18)

Your sister was indiscreet. The best way to get rid of an unwanted fantasy is to replace it with a different fantasy. I suggest acquiring some images of naked breasts. They will probably be implants too.

I masturbated prone for about a year, and I quit about 2 weeks ago after finding your web site. I have noticed immediate improvement. How long will it be until my penis reaches full recovery? (age 16)

Immediate improvement is good! Most guys don't notice a difference for about three months. After a year, you should be fully recovered. It might be quicker in your case because you didn't masturbate prone for very long.

Almost every time I see a hot girl, I get an erection. Is this normal for someone my age? (age 30)

Not really, but it's a good kind of abnormal.

I'm currrently taking 200 mg of caffeine for weight loss which has the effect of restricting the blood flow down to penis. Will it decrease the size of my penis permenantly if I use caffeine in the long run or for a month? (age 20)

200 mg sounds like a lot, but it's about the same amount of caffeine in two cups of coffee. I doubt it's restricting the blood flow to your penis that you would notice it right now. It will not permanently shrink your penis.

I was wondering where my hand should start/stop when sliding it up and down the shaft. (age 14 1/3)

If uncircumcised or using lube, you can comfortably go all the way to the tip. If circumcised and not using lube, you will probably not want to go past the coronal ridge (the widest part of the penis at the base of the head). It doesn't matter how far down you go. Most guys find that the bottom of it isn't that sensitive so they only go down as far as will help.

I have massive crushes on girls, but there is no sexual attraction. Sexually, I am only attracted to men, but I really like these girls. Am I gay? (age 17)

If you are only sexually attracted to men at your age, I would say you are gay. If you are not sexually attracted to girls, why do you have massive crushes on them?

I just found your site. It is amazing. I use a pillow when I masturbate lying on my stomach. I have a lot of sexual problems. Last week a sexual medicine doctor measured my penile numbness as moderate on a sensation meter. Is this from prone masturbation using a pillow? Do I have nerve damage? Will it heal with time if I change to conventional masturbation? (age 53)

I suspect your lack of sensitivity is caused by prone masturbation. You probably don't have physical damage to your nerves, but you have desensitized them due to the enormous pressure from masturbating prone. I recommend you give up prone masturbation immediately and work at learning to masturbate conventionally. You ought to notice a difference in your erections within three months. I would be very interested to hear about the results of your future penile numbness tests.

I masturbate 1-2 times a day. I can ejaculate fast like 2-5 minutes. Is it possible to be too sensitive? I am afraid to be with someone as I want to have sex for 30 minutes. Sometimes I can go 45-1 hour if I am drinking, and that is not what I want. It feels so god when I am inside a woman that it is like my penis can't take it. I ejaculate soon after (like 20 penetrations). I am sick of this. I am embarrassed to have sex and feel like a letdown. I tried masturbating before sex, used numbing things but to no avail. I am doomed and feel depressed about it because I can't satisfy a woman.

I can pop my penis like cracking knuckles on your hands. It feels good. This is how I can make an erection go away. I get them 10+ times a day. (age 26)

I think your problems are related. There is no possible way popping your penis is good for you. You also have the wrong attitude toward erections. Erections are never bad. Learn to enjoy them. There are techniques you can use to overcome premature ejaculation. Learning to use the squeeze technique is one of them. Also, using a tight condom can help.

I masturbate on my back or sitting down, but one thing I do that I know is atypical is that I prefer to stretch my legs so that they're completely straight and flex my quadriceps. This helps me reach orgasm more quickly. I can reach orgasm without doing this, especially if I haven't masturbated in a few days, but it takes a bit longer (maybe 5 minutes instead of 2-3). Is this practice unhealthy? Should I retrain myself by not using my legs anymore? Also, I recently began sleeping with a girl, and she is my first. The problem is that I hardly feel anything during intercourse with her, with or without a condom. The rubbing sensation simply isn't there, and there's hardly any pressure on my penis. Penetration is easy right from the beginning. She apparently climaxes several times during sex, but the only way that I can reach climax is with her on top, and me using the leg flexing technique. The problem could be psychological I guess, but I come close to orgasm when she uses her hand on me, or performs oral sex (neither of which she seems to know how to do very well). Could it be that she is simply too wide, or has poor muscle tone down there? (age 25)

Your leg flexing technique is not atypical. According to a survey of more than 10,000 males by the web site HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, 19.3 percent of males always stretch out their legs tense while masturbating, another 20.6 percent do it most of the time. So that's almost 40 percent who do it the majority of the time they masturbate. More than half of males -- 50.4 percent -- do it some of the time. Only 9.7 percent of males say they never do it. You also report that you don't have to do it in order to masturbate to orgasm. The second thing is that you're new to sex at a fairly advanced age. It also seems that your partner is relatively inexperienced. I doubt that there is anything atypical with her anatomy. Older virgins frequently report that vaginas seem bigger than they expected. Dr. Eva Margolies calls this "floppy vagina syndrome." I think you just need to change your expectations. It would be a good idea to abstain from masturbating for 5-7 days before a planned sexual encounter. As you get more experienced at intercourse, you can reduce the interval. Practice makes perfect.

I'm 15 and I haven't had sex yet. People I know my age have. Am I normal?

You're more normal than they are. The average age for a male to have sex for the first time is 18.

When I masturbate, I picture my male friend naked and me giving him oral sex, because it makes me excited. Does this mean I'm gay? (age 13)

One fantasy doesn't mean you're gay. Wait a few years and see what the total of all your fantasies is.

I've been sleeping naked since the past summer. Recently my family found out and they're OK with it. Is it OK to sleep naked? It feels better when I get an erection because it's not all contained in my pants. (age 15)

Yes, perfectly OK.

I have been masturbating since I was 13. When I masturbate, I seem to have a pain on my lower left kidney. It doesn't really hurt but it just irritates me. I only masturbate 2-3 times a week and sometimes even less. I don't use lube so I would like to ask if there are any probable causes. (age 17)

Most people don't even know where their kidneys are, much less able to pinpoint feelings in them. If you are really having kidney trouble, you need a doctor. You can show the doctor where the pain is and they can tell you what is under that spot. I highly doubt that masturbating affects your kidneys, although it can certainly affect feelings you get from your abdominal and back muscles.

My mom nurses my little brother in front of me. She will just take her top off and let him feed. I really like seeing her like that. I like looking at her boobs, and I get hard-ons when I watch. Is there a way to not get turned on while watching? (age 13)

Not watching is the best way. Why don't you give your mom some privacy?

Why does it takes longer to orgasm when in water? When I masturbate in the shower, it takes me at least 10 minutes longer and I hardly feel anything as I masturbate. I tried masturbating in the pool and I couldn't orgasm at all. (age 15)

It is definitely a feeling that needs getting used to. In the shower, you are feeling a lot from the water and that makes it harder to focus on the feeling in your privates. In the pool, you are dealing with much colder water that inhibits erections and sexual arousal. This is why males who have a choice prefer to masturbate in bed.

I masturbate daily. My friend masturbates about as much as I do, but he has wet dreams every few nights (or so he says). Am I doing anything wrong? (age 13)

It is normal to not have wet dreams if you masturbate daily. You suspect your friend is not being truthful about how often he has wet dreams; perhaps he is also not being truthful about how often he masturbates.

I am 26 and married. I am more involved in masturbation than intercourse, but I am really getting eager and anxious about sex so I am masturbating too much. I am losing control by watching porn and I can't perform for my wife. Will it be OK to be more anxious?

You are better off being less anxious and focusing more on having sex with your wife. A lot of men give up masturbating altogether when they're in a relationship or at least cut back so it isn't all that often. As you get more experienced with intercourse, you can masturbate more and not have it affect your sexual relations. You seem to be on the low end of the experience scale, so I have to say your masturbatory frequency isn't working for you. I suggest you give it up for a couple of months and see if the sex with your wife gets better.

I live at a boarding school where everyone masturbates openly and somtimes during lectures under the desk. I have joined in sometimes but now some of them are into having oral sex with each other, but I don't want to. But I don't want to feel left out either. What do I do? (age 14)

You are not the only one who doesn't want to take part in this charade of exhibitionism. Take a stand and say you won't do it. Others will be relieved and look up to you. Don't be bullied into being like the most libertine person.

When you say don't masturbate more than twice a day, do you mean physically masturbating and/or reaching orgasm, or masturbating sessions? (age 13)

When did I say not to masturbate more than twice a day? A lot depends on the day. You count masturbating sessions by the ones that end in orgasm.

Is it normal that I want to masturbate and ejaculate up to 7 times a week, fantasizing about this girl I fancy while doing so? (age 16)

That is extremely normal, but you ought to have more than one girl that you fantasize about.

I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months now. Though I have often stimulated her manually and orally I have never been able to give her an orgasm. She writhes about and moans but always stops me. She gets the feeling of needing to wet herself. I've read this is normal. Even though we talk very openly about it, she still stops me saying it`s too nice. This bothers me as I love her and want her to be able to climax. (age 16)

You have to wait until she's ready to go any further. It would help if she masturbates and has orgasms by herself. It would be easier for her to have orgasms with you if she does. If she doesn't, then I think you just do what makes her feel good as much as she allows.

Sometimes I show my mom or dad a video on the Internet. Some have hot girls showing lots of skin. Sometimes they say I'm watching naked girls in front of me to each other. What do they mean by this? Are they proud? They also say it teasingly. (age 15)

They're probably embarrassed to see those videos themselves. I think they're signalling that they'd rather not know about these videos.

I have been masturbating for about 3 years and am now having trouble. Afterward I usually have to urinate but I have a burning sensation in my penis head. Also, my penis head is too sensitive I tried lube but I'm 15 and it isn't readily available.

Assuming you don't have a sexually transmitted disease, the burning sensation is probably a matter of not urinating enough. Drink a lot more water the next few weeks and see if it makes a difference. If you can't get a hold of suitable lube, then I advise not touching the head.

I'm uncircumcised and still can't touch my glans or the tip of my penis because it is too sensitive. What can I do? (age 28)

I suggest using lube.

I feel very bad having to confess after reading this that all I have are wet dreams. I do not know to masturbate. I heard from a friend that masturbation may lead to problems in married life. I don't want wet dreams anymore but I don't want to masturbate. Please help me! (age 20)

Masturbating does not usually cause problems for married life, and for nearly everyone, it helps them be sexually more functional in marriage and otherwise. I highly recommend you learn to masturbate. Please start with the Young Man's Guide to Masturbation.

After I have an orgasm, my penis becomes very sensitive to pressure; sometimes for hours after the orgasm. If I have several orgasms within a few hours, it becomes even more sensitive. I especially feel the sensitivity when I get an erection. Is this normal, and if not, what could be a possible cause? (age 19)

It is normal for the penis to be sensitive after an orgasm. It helps to get it back to its usual state if you urinate soon after ejaculating. I notice your penis is not so sensitive that you are prevented from having more orgasms, at least some of the time.

I've been with my girlfriend for four years, and we've been living together for 6 months. Since then she has been less interested in sex. We used to have sex twice a day and now we have it twice weekly. I work from home and kiss and touch her a lot all day long. Is that making me undesirable? (age 27)

Twice a day is very often and I suspect you did that because of the novelty of being together. Twice a week is not a bad frequency, but most sexually active people your age have intercourse 3.5 times per week, according to a survey of over 10,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, which included 122 males between 25 and 29 inclusive who are currently cohabitating. Married men in that age group (N=182) only have sex 2.9 times per week. It might be that you're making sex less special by being around her so often. A good idea would be to make a point of consciously asking to have sex at certain times.

I masturbated to orgasm but didn't ejaculate. No precum or ejaculation. Then about 10 minutes later, without an erection, the tip of my penis was really wet with a sticky clear fluid. I'm confused. What's happening? (age 13)

That was pre-cum. It comes out when you're aroused for a long time whether you have an erection or not. It sounds like you're making pre-cum but not semen yet. You will be ejaculating soon.

My girlfriend and I have had oral sex. Does that make me a non-virgin? (age 13)

According to a survey of over 5000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in 2008, about 32 percent say you are not a virgin anymore. 68 percent say you oral sex for a male does not make him become a non-virgin.

At the town pool where I swim, I often see a boy who obviously has special needs. He's very friendly and verbal but has odd speech patterns and unusual-looking facial features. He talks to everyone and knows everyone by name! He repeatedly asks me repetitive questions, often, "are you mad at me?" He seems to spend a lot of time there without supervision, usually in the shared boys' and men's locker room and open shower area, and usually he's not wearing trunks in there. I've seen other kids making fun of him for being naked, and calling him retard and the like. I have never seen him with a parent or any supervision, although the staff will sometimes talk to him and tell him to get dressed. My guess is that he has a single mother who dumps him there. My kids are college-aged or older now but the parent in me wants to respond when he asks me things because he clearly needs more parenting than he is getting. Most of the other men ignore him.

I would guess he is in his early teens, and he has recently entered puberty. He has started to grow pubic hair and his genitals are too big for him to be a pre-teen. He openly stares at me and the other men when we are showering or changing. Recently he asked me if I thought his "privates" were normal-sized, and then asked if they would keep getting bigger. I've walked into the locker room or shower room on more than one occasion to find him masturbating. I don't know how to respond. When he asked me about his genitals, I just told him he was normal looking for his age, but I am not confortable being naked in a shower room with a naked adolescent masturbating. Is it OK for me to tell him it's OK to masturbate but only in private? I know it's going to lead to more questions from this kid. What should I say? Nothing? Talk to the staff? And say what? I feel like the kid needs guidance but I don't think it's my place to provide it. But he keeps asking me questions! (age 45)

I think this is a dangerous situation. You should report his behavior to the authorities (perhaps the local police or at least the manager of the pool -- not the counter staff). You would not be as much getting him into trouble as you would be documenting his behavior in case some question should ever arise as to your contact with him. As you point out, he is essentially being neglected by being left at the pool, and it is not the job of the pool staff (or patrons) to act as social workers. I agree that discussing masturbating with him would only lead to greater engagement with him. Let the proper authorities know and let them deal with it. And never, ever touch this kid under any circumstances.

I have masturbated about 15 times over the past year but I have never ejaculated. Could I still get a wet dream? (age 13)

Yes, I think you could get a wet dream in the next year if you stopped masturbating. Keep in mind if you start masturbating to orgasm regularly, you will probably never have a wet dream.

When I masturbate I grip my penis as if I was holding a pen or a pencil, I have since I started masturbating and I was wondering whether this could cause TMS? (age 13)

That is not TMS but a looser grip is probably in order. Your penis is bigger than a pen or pencil.

I've been masturbating for about a year now, and I haven't been seen. I think my parents are suspicious though, as I spend all my time at my computer. I don't usually masturbate there, but sometimes I watch a video. Do you think they know? (age 12)

I don't think they know, but they could probably guess.

Today I finally asked my girlfriend if she masturbates, and she said no and that she thought it was disgusting. Is this weird? (age 17)

No, but I think she protests too much. If she doesn't masturbate, all she had to say was "no." By adding that she thinks it's disgusting, she's trying to convince you that she really doesn't masturbate. And if she truthfully didn't, she would have no reason to try to convince you. However, she obviously didn't enjoy being asked, so I suggest you leave the matter alone.

Can masturbating cause sterility? (age 13)

No. Masturbating is good for your fertility.

I love masturbating. I feel like it's the best thing to do when you're bored and need to have some fun, plus the feeling is great. I'm terribly scared of one of my brothers or my parents walking in on me when I'm masturbating in my bedroom. Usually I do it lying down in the shower but it always feels better in my bed. What should I do? (age 13)

I highly discourage masturbating while lying face down. Maybe that isn't what you meant. Your parents and brothers (if they're older) certainly masturbate too, so I doubt there would be any consequences if they were to walk in on you. I would advise you to do it in bed where it feels better.

I masturbate regularly and I still have wet dreams. Do you think that I will continue to have them or will they fade away? (age 13)

I'm guessing you haven't been experiencing either for very long. The usual experience in your situation is for the wet dreams to stop. I suppose you could prolong them if you only masturbated once a week or so, but most guys your age make masturbation a daily habit fairly quickly once they learn to fire the gun.

Sometimes I have fantasies about raping a girl I know who is 16. Also, my reactions about different things are often over the top (for example, I wish to stab someone who is just annoying). Do I have a serious psychological problem? (age 16)

Lots of males and females have rape fantasies. It is a very common fantasy. It is not illegal to dream about raping someone, only to do it. Thinking about stabbing someone, or shooting them, or killing them, is also not illegal. If you think you are really going to be compelled to do those things, then I think you should seek psychological help. Same if you are constantly being tormented by those thoughts. If it's just occasional fantasies, then I wouldn't let them bother me.

I am virgin and I like girls, and my masturbatory fantasies are exclusively heterosexual, but I get aroused from watching gay porn, and it's becoming a habit. Will this make me gay? I also had a "gay erotic nightmare" (once) and I'm disgusted. Why is this happening to me? (age 22)

A single erotic dream/nightmare is practically meaningless. Watching gay porn will not make someone gay, and watching straight porn will not make someone straight. If it's becoming a habit, then I have to ask why you're not using straight porn, and if that is somehow connected to your preferences. Saying you "like girls" is a fairly weak way of claiming to be heterosexual. Not only are you a virgin, but I also have a feeling that your experience with women is very low. I would suggest a greater engagement with women as a way of testing how high your sexual desire for them is.

I would like to see some pornographic images of people my age, but would that make me a pedophile? (age 15)

According to mental health practitioners, no. Pedophilia is attraction to prepubescent children. But according to the law, pornography of persons under 18 is child pornography whether the person is 3 or 17 3/4. I advise you that being attracted to people your age is very good, but if you must use visual aids, get by with images of adults.

I masturbate by spitting into my hand and then rubbing the head of my circumcised penis. Is that safe/normal? I used to be very careful about where and when I masturbated, but recently I have not been taking much precaution. I sometimes do not care if I am caught. Do you have any advice? I think HealthyStrokes.com is great, and it has realy helped me. (age 15)

Your method is normal. It is also good to be less worried about being discovered as you get older. That all sounds good.

I have found that it is impossible for me to go to sleep without masturbating. When I try, I get an erection and keep having erotic thoughts. I almost always break down and go masturbate, and then come back and find it easier to go to sleep. Lately though, after I masturbate, I start feeling horny again in a matter of minutes! Would this be helped if I tried to stop masturbating for a week or two? (age 14)

Bedtime is the favorite time for males to masturbate. A major part of this is because orgasm is soporific (sleep-inducing). However, it is certainly not "impossible" for you to sleep without masturbating. I don't see how anything would be helped by quitting masturbation for a week or two. You would be better off working at accepting masturbating as normal, healthy, fun, and even necessary for males to do. It is also nature's sleeping pill! If you were more accepting of masturbation, you would not regard yourself as "breaking down" in order to masturbate.

I've been abstaining for 160 days. I've already had 7 wet dreams. You wrote that this will do damage to my body. Can you explain in more detail, because I'm fine. Do I have to stop this? I quit cold turkey 160 days ago and I'm not lying. (age 25)

Male sexual health is helped by frequent and consistent ejaculation. In the short term, sharply reduced (or sharply increased) ejaculatory frequency can lead to prostate pain. In the long term, a team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles found that males who masturbated most often when they were young had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week. Most men your age masturbate a little less than once a day. However, the reason I believe your story is a lie is because you never used the word masturbate in your message. By writing to me about quitting masturbating without mentioning what you quit, I believe you have an issue with masturbation. It's OK if you don't want to say the word out loud, but I urge you to accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun and to at least admit to yourself that you do it frequently.

Follow-up: I started masturbating at 15 (2-3 times daily) but 162 days ago I made a bet with my friend about who could go longer without masturbating or having sex, and he lost almost immediately, but I did go on to see how much I can resist the urge, and now 162 days later I have stopped thinking about masturbation or sex, and my life is much better. I have more energy, my focus is much greater, my sleep improved, my urination is better, and my social life expanded. I know that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun. I did it all the time and I admit it. I only wanted to know the risks.

I think you're better off if you ejaculate frequently. I would really like to know how quitting masturbation changed all those things for you. Anyway, you haven't stopped thinking about masturbation or sex, because you're reading a masturbation web site and are corresponding with the author for the purpose of bragging about how long you've gone without doing it. I kind of think you're thinking about it more often than males who do it at a typical frequency.

I've been masturbating since I was at least 2. I can remember doing it as my earliest memory. All I knew was that I enjoyed it and I only found out at 10 what it was. Is this natural? (age 12)

Yes, that all sounds normal. Now that you know what it is, I hope you enjoy it even more.

For a month last summer, I was wondering whether or not I was gay. I would discreetly see if any of my friends had erections while we were in the pool, to see if my penis compared to theirs in length, and other various things like that. Soon I realized I wasn't gay. Is it normal to have gone through a phase like that? (age 15)

Yes, I think it is. You don't have to be a gay male to appreciate the natural beauty of the penis. Some authors have said that all men -- even if unconsciously -- compare every penis they ever see to theirs. Politeness dictates that you don't stare at your friends'. In the locker room, a good rule is to either look at faces or look at bodies but don't move your eyes up and down between the two.

Every time I masturbate, liquid comes out. It doesn't actually squirt; it just comes out. Would this be considered squirting? (age 13)

You're the one who said it doesn't squirt. I don't know how something that doesn't squirt could be considered squirting. You are ejaculating, and that ought to be good enough. Your pressure will increase with experience.

I have been masturbating for over a year. I don't know if I should tell my parents or not. Do you think it is possible that they know I've been doing it? (age 14)

Someone can know something only if it's impossible for them to be mistaken about it. I've been masturbating for over 25 years, and I've never told my parents. If they don't know -- your parents and mine -- they would be correct to suspect so.

I can keep an erection for a few minutes after I have finished masturbating. Does that mean I am multi-orgasmic? (age 15)

No, but there is no reason you couldn't work at being multi-orgasmic. It more likely means you aren't completely satisfied when you stop masturbating. Keep stroking for a few seconds after you think you're done (if you can stand to) and see if you have a few more waves of orgasm.

My girlfriend and I are trying to be intimate and sexual together but we can't find any privacy. She doesn't have a room at her house and we can't do it at my house or a car and we have little to no money. Do you have any suggestions on what to do? (age 19)

Like the song says, "we'd hide from the lights on the village green when I was seventeen." People in your situation used to "make out" (as it was called then) in the back row of the balcony at the theater or in any unused area of a public building. Keep in mind that you are an adult and ought to be more assertive about your right to privacy.

I have a sister and two brothers ages 12, 14, 16, and we all read and enjoy your web site. (age 18)

That's great! I never knew HealthyStrokes.com was a family thing.

I have a number of adult magazines and I'm not sure what to do with them. Should I hide them? Should I leave them in plain sight? Perhaps put most of them in a drawer in my room and leave one under a different magazine so someone will find it when cleaning and my parents will know I have porn magazines but also know I'm not ashamed/embarrassed by it -- which I am not; I love masturbating!

You don't say how old you are, but if your parents still clean your room, I'm guessing you're under 18. If you have younger siblings, it would be a good idea to hide them from them. When I was young, I was always careful to leave them with the back cover facing out. I could always tell when my little brother had been in my magazines when he left them with the front cover facing out. Anyway, it's to your advantage to be discreet.

What is the earliest age a man should start masturbating? (age 17)

Your question confuses me because almost all males start before they are men. I don't think there is an age that's too early.

Why do some girls fake orgasm to end sex faster? (age 15)

You answered your own question. They don't think they will have an orgasm from coitus so they fake an orgasm so that the man will bring on his own orgasm and the sex can be over.

Every time I masturbate I ejaculate different amounts with different power, from a trickle down my penis to a squirt reaching my face. What is the typical amount and power of ejaculation? After I have finished masturbating and am lying there with semen on my chest, I always feel disgusted with myself. I feel I am abnormal and have done something terrible, and never want to masturbate again or get involved with any sexual acts. I have heard that you can masturbate with a condom on. Is that any more pleasureable/beneficial, or are there any risks involved? I have an aunt who is in her early 20s, and when I was at my grandparents' I slept in her room while she was away. I looked through her cupboards and found lingerie and pink fluffy handcuffs. I then masturbated. Is it normal to masturbate over sexual objects of family members? I think that what you are doing is amazing. (age 15)

You are learning about the varying force of ejaculation. You can train yourself to put more force on it by exercising your PC muscle. You might also notice that the volume of ejaculate varies, and it is influenced heavily by the time since your last ejaculation. You can have a bigger ejaculation by abstaining for a few days. There is nothing abnormal or terrible about masturbating, but it is normal for people to feel guilty about it occasionally. Many (not most) males have tried masturbating with a condom, but according to a survey of over 8000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the first half of 2007, only 9 percent use one regularly and only 1.4 percent use one most of the time. They are useful when you want to go out afterward and not run the risk of smelling like semen. It is normal to get the urge to masturbate when you see a sexual object for the first time, but it is also very good to respect the privacy of your aunt who lets you use her bedroom.

I have masturbated before but never reached an orgasm. I masturbate a few times a month, and I am in a long distance relationship. I've given her oral sex and was very aroused by her, but when I got too aroused I had a lot of pain down there, and it was very frustrating. We have had a lot of physical contact but never sexual intercourse. I have tremendous pain when I am aroused by her for a long time, and I've never had an orgasm by masturbation nor by intercourse. I cannot see a doctor. I have difficult financial problems. (age 19)

I suggest reading my page for males who are just learning to masturbate. When you masturbate and feel very aroused, stroke as hard and fast as you can until you have an orgasm. When you have learned how, work at doing it more slowly and with less force.

I read somewhere that the average male orgasm lasts roughly 6 to 7 seconds, but mine often take 30 seconds or more. Is this normal, even remotely? (age 17)

No, but I hope you're not complaining. Any guy would take a 30-second orgasm over a usual 8-second one any day!

I masturbate about every other day. When I do I like to picture naked girls. But when I have crushes on girls, all I really want is to hug them all the time; I don't get the desire to see them naked or even kiss them at all! It actually seems quite disturbing to me. Is this weird? It seems like it would be more fun to masturbate as a girl. Why is this? Would a girl think the same for a boy? (age 14)

You are young and inexperienced, and it is normal for your interactions with females to be less sexual than would be the case for an older male. It is nice that there are girls who let you hug them! Maybe in the next year you will start kissing them. Just see where it leads. Males and females often believe that the other gender has a better deal when it comes to masturbating. Males do it more and according to surveys by HealthyStrokes.com, give it higher ratings.

What is the normal time for ejaculation in intercourse? How can someone prevent premature ejaculation? (age 20)

According to a survey of over 4800 sexually experienced males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, the average male takes 15.6 minutes to reach orgasm in intercourse. One way to take longer in intercourse is to masturbate to orgasm beforehand.

I'm 19 and have been masturbating for about 3 years now. After masturbating, I need to urinate and afterward, I still feel like urinating. I get horny easily and feel like masturbating more. I now masturbate twice a day.

I suggest drinking more water, especially in the hour before masturbating. A larger volume of urine will make you feel more like you've emptied yourself out. Twice a day is a high frequency at your age, but not particularly unusual. According to a survey of over 10,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, which included 453 men your age, 23.7 percent masturbate 10 times a week or more and 11.4 percent masturbate 14 times a week or more. The average is 7.1 times per week, or just over once a day.

Why do I have a strong urge to eat my load before I come but not afterward? I've done it once because I promised myself I would, but I didn't really enjoy it. (age 18)

According to a survey of over 7000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in 2009-10, more than half of males have eaten their semen. Eight percent do it most of the time when they masturbate. It's a ready way to clean up, but if you don't like it, then don't do it.

I have been timing my self and I take around 15 minutes to masturbate to orgasm. Is this normal? (age 14)

Only 22 percent of guys your age take longer than 10 minutes on average. You will probably get faster with practice. The important thing is how long you want it to last.

I have been masturbating once a day on average for the past 7 years. I am circumcised and never use lube. This has not been a problem before, but now when I have sex and my penis gets lubricated from saliva or other things, I have trouble maintaining an erection. What should I do? (age 21)

You don't say how much experience you have with intercourse. If you are new to it, then you should expect to need to get used to it. I would suggest learning to masturbate with lube as a way of making the feeling of intercourse more normal to you.

My girlfriend really wants me to last longer in bed, but I can't seem to go longer than about 5 minutes. I want to last longer too, but I don't know how to do it. Any tips? (age 25)

I would suggest masturbating to orgasm a few hours before having intercourse.

If I masturbate to orgasm before sex, wouldn't I also have to urinate too to make sure all the semen is out before having sex? (age 23)

It would be a good idea but is not a necessity.

Why do girls never seem to want to do anything sexually with anybody but guys always want to at my age? (age 14)

You are wrong about both. According to a survey of over 10,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, which included 700 14-year-old boys, 51 percent are waiting for a special partner before having sex, and only 32.6 percent are ready to jump at the first opportunity. A survey of over 3000 females by HealthyStrokes.com in 2007-08 found that 57.2 percent of them are waiting for a special partner but 22 percent are looking for an early opportunity. There were 236 girls aged 14 in the survey.

What is K-Y Jelly? (age 13)

K-Y Jelly is a lube made especially for sexual purposes. The jelly form is quite sticky, and males tend to find its sister product K-Y Liquid better for masturbating.

I recently fingered a girl with a cut on my hand. Is it possible to get an STD? (age 18)

It is possible but unlikely to pick up an STD that way. HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) can be spread by both blood and sexual fluids.

Whenever I make out with a girl, I get an erection. Is this a normal occurrence? (age 15)

Yes. That is the most normal thing I've heard all day.

When I masturbate, I get pre-cum, and go on a bit longer, but I don't ejaculate. Is there anything wrong? (age 13)

You sound fine. You are doing what you are supposed to in order to produce orgasm. I suspect your body is just not ready to ejaculate yet. It will soon.

I just bought some tingling jelly in a 6 ounce container. It's not cheap. For $30 I expected a decent product, however, when I tried it out, I felt no tingling. Warming jelly won't work on me either. Is there something I'm doing wrong? (age 15)

I would have suggested starting with something cheaper before you knew what you liked. I suggest taking your time and maybe using the tingling jelly or warming jelly fresh out of the shower and see if you notice a difference. You really ought to feel them doing something. Being relaxed and sensitive to your body is the key.

Follow-up: I took your advice, and I also applied a much more generous amount of the lube. At first I didn't notice anything, however in about 15 or so seconds I noticed a familiar feeling, particularly in my scrotum. It felt like mint tasted! It was a soft spicy feeling. Is this the tingling that is advertised? During orgasm, it was great! It was like my genital area was being stabbed by numerous needles, except they were good needles! It's hard to explain, but I do very much like the product. Thanks for everything.

I don't see how all these people get caught masturbating. I've done it for four years and I've never been caught. I do it in the bathroom with the door locked. (age 14)

You have privacy of the bathroom lock, but you give up the comfort and freedom of motion in your bedroom. If you think it through, you'll understand why some people get caught. Only about half of males ever will be.

I'm back in my hometown after about two years in different places and a girl who I like still lives here. I would definately love to go out with her now that I'm back. However, she recently told me that she hates anybody who drinks or does any drugs. Technically the drinking part makes her a hypocrite, because last halloween, she got drunk. I recently took up smoking pot. I don't want to tell her about it because I'm afraid she'll hate me, but at the same time I want to be honest. I don't want to give her up. If you understand what I'm asking, please help me out. (age 17)

I think you should go for her and then see if those things are really issues. If she is a hypocrite about alcohol, then she would probably not be so rigid. See if she feels differently after going out with you or if she still wants to be firm on her chemical issues.

When I lie on my stomach, sometimes I get an erection, but I don't feel the need to masturbate. Should I turn on to my back anyway? (age 15)

No. There is nothing wrong with having an erection while lying prone.

I'm am 13 and I get erections from both females and males but I'm straight. Is this normal?

Yes, it is.

I masturbate about once a day and am fairly experienced sexually. However, more often than not, when I am about to have sex (particularly on one night stands), I cannot get an erection, and when I do it is difficult to maintain. It has happened enough where I worry about it and I am not sure if it is physical or mental. Am I masturbating too often or could I have a more serious issue? (age 21)

Masturbating once a day is pretty often if you are also having sex. I would suggest abstaining for a few days in advance of an expected sexual encounter. Also keep in mind that you are more likely to get an erection easily with a partner you are experienced and comfortable with than a new partner. I doubt that you have a physical problem. Just keep these pointers in mind and don't worry so much about having an erection.

Is it bad to have sex when you have a cold or flu? (age 20)

Only if your partner is worried about catching it. Having sex might be the most fun way to catch a cold.

I started masturbating about 2 years ago. You say it is better to not watch porn at this age for the sake of developing our imaginations, but I love watching hentai porn vids. Is it better than common porn or is it the same? It really turns me on! I really want to have sex! I can't wait! By the way, your site is wonderful! Thank you! (age 14)

Hentai is animation and not real people, so I say it is better (i.e., less exploitative) than "common porn." I still think you are better off exercising your imagination.

Is porn illegal to watch if you are under 18? I haven't watched it in about a year because of the warnings I have seen. (age 17)

I'm not a lawyer, but my understanding is that it is not illegal to watch it as a minor, even though it might be illegal in some places to sell it to a minor.

I work on cars a lot and get lots of grease and motor oil on my hands, and I have recently read on the back of some motor oil cans that in some lab tests it had caused skin cancer. If I wash my hands well, can I masturbate a couple of hours after the work I do or should I wait a couple of days because there is still oil soaked into my hands? (age 17)

I'm not sure how real that cancer risk is. It could be the manufacturer put the warning there to protect themselves in case of the rare eventuality of someone getting cancer from it. I would be much more worried about having the oil on my hands for a long period of time than any trivial risk from having some residual oil on my hands when I masturbate later. I think the lesson here is to wash your hands frequently while working on cars and not just have a massive scrubbing session at the end.

When I get an erection and get more sexual thoughts, I notice that it gets really wet even when I haven't done any jerking. It's a clear liquid with a slight filmy texture and has no smell and there is a lot. Is this normal? (age 16)

Yes, that is normal. The fluid is known popularly as pre-cum although its correct name is bulbourethral fluid. Males produce it when they are sexually aroused. If a male is aroused for a long period of time without ejaculating, he can produce a large amount of pre-cum. It can even leak through his pants and make a sticky spot.

I am wondering about compulsive masturbation. You state on HealthyStrokes.com that it's probably compulsive if it gets in the way of your daily routine, but what if you don't have school, work, or other appointments to go to? The only thing I could be late for is dinner, and that only happens if I am already busy when I get called for dinner, which then scares me because I'm afraid they'll come up and that causes me to be even later. Would this be considered compulsive?

If you know that dinner is at a certain time and you start masturbating before then knowing you won't be finished and ready for dinner when they call, then it would point toward being compulsive.

The other day my 12-year-old sister admitted to looking up online whether girls can masturbate. I never got a chance to ask her what she found (she had friends over), but now I'm wondering what she found. It would definitely be awkward to ask now because it happened a week ago, so I started thinking about printing out the Young Girl's Guide on HealthyStrokes.com, but she'd definitely go to my parents and I'd get into some trouble. What should I do? (age 16)

I'm having trouble understanding what your question is. You seem to already know that girls can masturbate, and if your sister was researching the topic online, surely she knows too. The only thing you seem genuinely interested in is what your sister knows. Why don't you respect her privacy and leave the matter alone.

My female friend and I have been best friends forever, but one day I walked in on her masturbating. When I apologized and turned to leave, she said to stop and asked me to join her. She convinced me and since then we've had sex A LOT. Is that OK? (age 17)

It's OK with me if it's OK with both of you. You don't say how old she is, but you might check the age of consent for your state to see if it's OK with the law. Also, I don't think she's your "female friend" anymore. You might talk about what word to use when it comes to each other.

I masturbate daily and enjoy it a lot. I found that I enjoy putting a rubber band around my testicles. Can I hurt myself doing this? (age 14)

That is a dangerous practice. Between your scrotum and the rest of your body are some important blood vessels and nerves, to say nothing of the vas deferens -- the tiny tube that carries your sperm into your body. You want to keep all of those delicate parts working correctly for another 80 or 90 years. The rubber band won't help.

I have been masturbating for many years now and I have come to realize that I suffer from premature ejaculation. When I am not horny and masturbate, I usually ejaculate in 1 or 2 minutes. When I watch pornography, I ejaculate in 10 to 30 seconds. I fear that when I have sex with a woman, I will ejaculate before or immediately after penetration. How can I fix this? (age 16)

It is by no means certain that you'll ejaculate prematurely with a female just because you usually masturbate to orgasm in a short time. Still, most males like masturbating sessions to last longer than yours do. When you feel yourself about to orgasm, try to hold off for 10 or 15 seconds. Keep working on this so you can continue masturbating but not ejaculate. Then try going another 10-15 seconds and so on.

I seem to have mixed feelings about masturbation. Some days I'll just do it without thought and other days I'll do it and feel terrible afterward, like it's disrespectful to the girls I fantasize about. Is this normal? (age 16)

I think a lot of people have conflicted feelings like that. Just remember it's normal, healthy, and fun to masturbate. It's also normal to fantasize. Whatever or whomever you fantasize about, remember it's only happening in your head.

If it takes the average woman longer than the average man to reach orgasm, how do women reach orgasm in intercourse?

There are different strategies couples use to get both partners to orgasm. Sometimes the man reaches orgasm first and then brings the woman to orgasm manually or orally. Sometimes the man holds off his orgasm until the woman has hers. Sometimes the man brings the woman to orgasm orally or manually before having vaginal intercourse. And sometimes one or both don't have orgasms.

I plan to donate blood when I'm older; does donating blood affect sperm count? (age 13)

I've never heard that it does.

I'll be 16 soon. I'm still attracted to younger girls (12 and 13) and I've read that 16 is the minimum age to be considered a pedophile. Is this normal or am I going to outgrow it? (age 15)

It doesn't make you a pedophile to like girls who are 2-3 years younger than you, but be aware of the laws pertaining to age of consent in your state before doing anything sexual. I hope you will still be interested in those girls when they are of legal age, but in the meantime, why not work on being attracted to girls your own age.

Recently I took to a new way to masturbate and I really love it. I sit down and take long slow and soft BACKHANDED strokes up the entire penis. I also rub it softly on my stomach and sometimes inner thighs. Is this a form of TMS? (age 18)

There is nothing wrong with using a backhanded stroke. I think it is one of the more popular ways to do it. I don't see the harm in rubbing softly on your stomach as an accompaniment, but be careful you're not bending your erect penis to reach your inner thighs.

I have had sex with two women when they are on top but when I get on top I don't know where to put my legs. I need help. (age 22)

I really find it hard to believe you don't know where to put your legs. Usually the woman spreads her legs and the man lies in between them.

If I break both wrists, how do I masturbate? (age 17)

That could be a bad situation. Be sure to try extra hard not to break both wrists at the same time. If you are really in this situation, sometimes the hospital or rehab center will use a masturbation machine, but I'm only familiar with this happening with permanently paralyzed men (e.g., veterans) and not with short-term cases.

I masturbate nearly once per day. Is it healthy for me to stop unexpectedly or will something bad happen to me? (age 14)

Masturbating and ejaculating are good for your body. It is better to do them than to stop. Even so, I doubt anything bad would happen to you if you stopped unexpectedly. However, I doubt you could stop unexpectedly, or at all, once you're at the frequency of masturbating daily.

I am a 22 year old male virgin. You say that men who remain virgins past the age of 21 are much more likely to develop "severe sexual dysfunctions." Like what?

Specifically I mean erectile and orgasmic dysfunctions, particularly anorgasmia. I suggest that you read Undressing the American Male by Eva Margolies.

Does pornography make masturbation better? Would you recommend it for someone my age? (age 14)

Pornography tends to make masturbating go faster. I'm not certain it's better. At your age, you ought to be learning to exercise your imagination, and therefore I think porn is not good for you.

Your site is really cool. I really feel better for finding this site for info. When someone has a wet dream, does ejaculation during the night mean that I had a wet dream? What if I had a "good" dream and nothing happened? (age 17)

A wet dream means ejaculating in one's sleep. If you wake up and find you ejaculated during the night, it means you had a wet dream or possibly masturbated in your sleep. Most "good" dreams are dry. Strangely enough, wet dreams are not usually sexual in nature.

I have been masturbating prone for 2 years. It horrifies me when I do it the conventional way and I've never tried it that way for long, but usually when I try it, when I go to urinate afterward, my penis hurts like fire burning inside. What is the problem? Also, can I just masturbate using a vibrator? (age 14)

I think you have larger issues with masturbation that you might need to work through with a mental health practitioner. You fail to accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun. You masturbate prone (which you now know is dysfunctional) because it lets you avoid what you describe as the horror of the conventional method. You also express an interest in using a vibrator to avoid having to masturbate conventionally. I suspect the burning is caused by not urinating soon enough after ejaculating. I also think reading HealthyStrokes.com more regularly will help you adjust to the idea of masturbating. Good luck.

I have been masturbating for about two years now and usually twice a day. My glans looks like it has little lines on it as if it were dry and cracked. I assume this was caused by overly rough masturbation. Is there is a way to get rid of them? (age 16)

Using lube when you masturbate will do the job. Lube can also function as a moisturizer. If you don't want to use lube, just apply a regular moisturizer to the penile head twice a day.

I have been having a serious sexual attraction to my uncle's wife. She has a very large chest and I masturbate thinking of her. Is this normal? (age 17)

Yes, but it would be a good idea if you decided never to act on this attraction and also a good idea to pursue girls your age who aren't married.

I am thinking of asking my mom for some lube. I think I will ask her tomorrow straightforwardly. I honestly don't think she'll mind because she already knows I masturbate. Do you think I should? (age 12)

Yes, go for it.

I masturbate approximately 8 times a week and I seem to not enjoy focusing on the vulva of a woman. I seem to only like the breasts and posterior of females although I am not attracted to males in any way. What are your thoughts on this? (age 15)

You are pretty young and are developing your sexual interests. It is OK to like breasts and posteriors, but I hope you appreciate that women have other parts too. It's good if you can be attracted to the whole person instead of just parts. Keep working on it.

Why is it a problem to masturbate to anime and cartoons? I've been doing it for 9 years and I don't feel any less different. In fact, I can switch between 2D and 3D. (age 21)

It isn't a problem, but it's good if you can masturbate at least some of the time without visual aids. What does it mean to not feel "less different"?

Is it true that if you have a bigger penis you can last longer during sex? (age 17)

A survey of over 5000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in 2008 found that males with longer penises tend to take longer in sex, but I don't understand the mechanism. I think more study is needed before we can say for sure.

Often I hear that the head of the penis is the most sensitive part. (On mine, it's the little bump on the underside about an inch down from the cleft.) however, ANY stimulation of the head gives me no pleasure. Rather, I feel the immediate need to urinate. This happened recently when my new girlfriend gave me oral sex and then vaginal sex. (age 21)

Yes, the head is most sensitive. It's too sensitive for most males to touch without lubrication. If you already know what the best spot to touch is, then work on that one. There is nothing wrong with your penis head.

Can a 17 year old do Kegel exercises?

Yes. They are healthy at any age.

Is it a sin to have a wet dream? (age 14)

I don't know any religion that thinks so. Even the pioneering sex researcher Alfred Kinsey remarked that wet dreams were the form of sexual expression that attracted the least amount of moral condemnation.

I recently started going out with a girl I've liked for a while; she is my first girlfriend. Whenever we sit next to each other or we kiss or something, I get erect. I'm worried that she will find out and it would be really embarrassing. Will I stop getting hard or will it always be like this? I don't want her to think I am dating her just for sex. (age 16)

Erections are a good thing. You want to have them. If it really bothers you, you can align your bodies so that she won't be aware you're erect. It helps if you're wearing heavier clothing, like heavy pants on top of underwear. (Wearing sweats makes it harder to hide.) You are also assuming she will be shocked that you have an erection; I think it's more likely she'd be impressed or maybe even flattered. She is probably getting aroused herself and her nipples might be erecting too. I doubt she would think you're only after sex if she noticed an erection. Your other behavior would provide more information on that point.

I masturbate kind of in a prone position. I lie on my stomach and massage my penis against the bed and massage my stomach with my hands. I would like to know what physical problems can come from this? (age 16)

Prone masturbation is bad for your sexual health. It can lead to erectile dysfunction and orgasmic dysfunction. I've never heard of a case of physical damage from masturbating prone, but it's possible that some males who masturbate prone have caused physical damage. I would advise you strongly to use your hands for your daily massages.

I have a slight sexual fetish, which I'm fine with. It works for me. But I find that when girls I know do this thing that turns me on (unknowingly, of course), I find myself masturbating to them. Is it healthy psychologically and socially to be masturbating over girls I know? It hasn't impacted my social life and I've been doing it for about 4 years, but I just wanted to get your opinion. (age 20)

Whatever you fantasize about is up to you. It's only happening in your head. I would suggest that you work at developing other things that turn you on besides the slight sexual fetish.

I've been worried about having premature ejaculation ever since I heard of it. I usually last about 5 minutes while masturbating WITHOUT lube, although when I use lube, I rub the head of my penis a lot and I reach orgasm very quickly (about 30 seconds). Can you give me some tips on how to last longer? (age 15)

There is no good reason to worry in advance about premature ejaculation. Five minutes is pretty good. I suspect you don't use lube as often, and that makes it a novelty. As you get more experienced using lube, you will regress to the mean (a scientific phrase meaning lubed will start taking you as long as non-lubed). You can also work at consciously making it take longer, but my best advice is to enjoy what you're doing and not worry about it.

I started masturbating around 12, usually sitting down. I recently started doing it lying down. When I orgasm it doesn't feel quite as good as when I do it sitting. Is this because I'm just not used to it or what? Does lube make masturbating feel better? I am uncircumcised. Thanks again for making such a great site! (age 14)

Most males can masturbate either sitting or lying down. Males usually do it sitting either for privacy reasons (toilet) or because they're doing it at the computer. Most males find it more comfortable to do lying down. This leads me to believe lying down is simply not what you're used to. You should notice a difference after a while. Of course, sitting is a perfectly good position so there's no reason to give it up. Most males say lube makes masturbating a better experience, but this is more true for circumcised than uncircumcised males.

I like my cousin. I really want her to see me masturbating, and it makes me horny just thinking about it. Any ideas? (age 13)

I think you should enjoy the horniness and decide to really show your cousin how much you like her by never, ever letting her see you masturbating.

Thanks to your site, yesterday I ejaculated for the first time. I've always had clear stuff come out of my penis. But yesterday, the clear stuff came out first, then later this yellowy liquid came out of my penis. What is that? Is it bad? (age 13)

The clear liquid is bulbourethral fluid, also called pre-cum. The yellowy liquid is semen. It is very, very good. As you start to ejaculate more often, the semen will be more white than yellow.

Do you think a masturbation sleeve is a good way to make my penis more sensitive to a woman's vagina? I feel that my normal tight-grip and fast masturbation may be the culprit. (age 19)

No. A masturbation sleeve is a dysfunctional way of masturbating. If you already know your grip is too tight and your stroke is too fast, then work at loosening your grip and reducing your stroke speed. It might be necessary to masturbate less often for a while in order to learn that. Also, keep in mind that nearly all males reduce their masturbation frequency (some nearly give it up) when they're working at being sexual with a partner. If you think your masturbating is dysfunctional, you want to make it more functional and not simply switch to a different dysfunctional method.

When I have particularly enjoyed sex or masturbation, my erection doesn't go away after ejaculating. It lingers for about ten extra minutes, as hard as it was before. Is this a cause for concern, and (though I can't do it yet) do you think I should try to learn to orgasm twice? (age 21)

There is nothing wrong with having a lingering erection. Is it too sensitive to touch after orgasm? (Most men can't touch their penis after orgasm.) You might be a candidate for learning how to achieve multiple orgasms as described in the book Any Man Can by Hartmann & Fithian.

I used to masturbate about 2 or 3 times a week when my parents were out on scheduled things, but recently they are staying in, and I'm afraid that I might get caught. I know my mom hates masturbation because my 13 year old cousin got caught by her accidentally when we were staying there and he got in real trouble for it. I get the urge because sometimes my erection is uncomfortable and it takes quite a while for it to go back down, and now the only time I get to masturbate is when I'm in the shower or bath. What should I do if I get caught? (age 15)

I highly doubt that your mom chewed your cousin out for masturbating. Although you didn't provide details, I suspect he was doing it in a place where his privacy was compromised. Ultimately you will have to accept that it's your body and there's nothing your parents can do about it even if they are opposed to masturbation. I would suggest talking to your dad about the situation.

I'm a lacrosse player and I want to know if masturbation will affect my speed, power, and stamina during a game. If it does, how much time in advance should I stop masturbating before a game? (age 14)

I've never seen any proof that masturbating is bad for athletic performance. We know that some of the greatest professional athletes in history were sexually compulsive. I am always startled to hear how many condoms Olympic athletes go through -- they were supplied with more than 14 each at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver -- and they still ran out and had to order more. And that doesn't count any condoms the athletes brought with them. I would say to be your own judge. You can decide how well you are holding up at each game or practice. You can evaluate what you've done in the past 24 hours that might affect your performance: diet, exercise, study, sleep, video games, masturbation. Maybe you'll be like most males and decide masturbating doesn't hurt. Or maybe you'll be one of about 20 percent of athletes who thinks masturbating hurts their performance.

I know that lying on my stomach is TMS. Is it safe if I can do it both ways and it takes the same amount of time? (age 21)

No. Even males who masturbate prone as little as 3 percent of the time have a higher than average rate of sexual dysfunction.

How do you know if a girl masturbates to you? (age 18)

I don't think you do unless she tells you.

About a year ago, I started playing with my nipples before I masturbate because it made my penis harder. Now, I like playing with my nipples so much, I generally do that instead of playing with my penis. Is this unhealthy? (age 14)

It's healthy to masturbate to orgasm frequently. There's nothing wrong with stimulating your nipples, but if it's keeping you from healthy masturbation, then it's not good.

I'm 14 and I don't masturbate, and I don't want to talk to my parents about it. I don't feel the need to masturbate, even though I get erections frequently. I've considered trying it after I get home from school, but I just don't feel right about it, like I'd be going against my parents' trust. Should I just try one day?

You're assuming that your parents are against it. But you don't know that, and you don't want to talk to them about it. I very much think you should try it. It might only take one experience to convince yourself that you've been worrying over nothing. Have you read my Young Man's Guide?

I'm sexually experienced, but when I masturbate within 24 hours before I engage in intercourse, I cannot finish or it takes hours to do so. What might be causing this? (age 16)

You just said it: Masturbating within 24 hours keeps you from orgasm in intercourse. This is not true for every male, but you know to abstain from masturbating a day or so before intercourse.

I have recently developed premature ejaculation. I have been with my girlfriend for the past 4 months. Everything is great except I finish within minutes. She doesn't like it which is obvious. I'm seeking some tips on what I can do to last longer. She's the first girl I have this problem with. Every other woman I lasted over an hour.

Technically, lasting for minutes isn't premature ejaculation (that's reaching orgasm within seconds) but I understand that you and she both want to last longer. Most males engage in mental distraction when they're nearing orgasm. Some also modify their intercourse so that they're less likely to reach orgasm. Another solution, although less obvious, is for you to take as much or little time as you need to in order to reach orgasm and to satisfy her either manually or orally before or after your vaginal intercourse. Personally, if I were used to lasting an hour, I think finishing within minutes would be nice!

In the past, I've often capped my meatus (penile opening) with my thumb upon climax to contain my ejaculate (until I could find a proper burial ground). I realize this isn't healthy and have almost completely stopped the practice, but I've never been able to find out if doing that is dangerous or not.I am sexually inactive for the past 6 year and have no interest in becoming a father. Should I be concerned about lasting health effects? I had epididymitis a few years back. Is it possible my capping could have led to that condition? (age 25)

I can't say with authority that it didn't cause epididymitis. Epididymitis is usually caused by bacteria, and it seems possible for bacteria to be introduced into your genitals through the force of capping. It is a dangerous sexual practice that you should give up altogether. Your ejaculate is designed to flow freely. Let it out! Let it flow! And I wish you wouldn't give up on being a father at such a young age.

In my school they were showing a video. In the video it said women produce only one egg. Is this true? (age 14)

One egg per month.

I've been friends with this girl since we were 3. Whenever I say the word "masturbate," no matter how it should come up in conversation, she always ends up saying it back to me somehow. Why does she have to repeat the word "masturbate" to me? (age 17)

Why do you have to utter it to her in the first place? I can only conclude it's a word you both like to say. Why not find a private time and space for sharing it together?

Why does it take longer to reach orgasm in intercourse than masturbating? It's so much easier to masturbate to orgasm. If you prefer sex, shouldn't you like it more? Shouldn't you orgasm faster when you like something more? (age 14)

Intercourse complicates masturbation by adding an additional person with his or her own sexual wants and desires to be satisfied or at least addressed. With masturbation it's just you. Plan on intercourse taking 50 percent longer than a comparable act of masturbation.

Even after reading your page, I am really guilty of masturbation. Should I quit? If yes, how? (age 15)

You can be guilty of masturbating (having committed it) but not feel guilty about it. That is what you should work on. You should work at accepting masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for a male to do. Reading HealthyStrokes.com is apt to help a lot.

I've noticed that when I masturbate that the more intense the orgasm the more I ejaculate. And if I have a less intense one I ejaculate very little. What is the reasoning behind this? (age 21)

I think you're on the right track, but there isn't a perfect correlation between intensity of orgasm and ejaculate volume. There is also no consensus as to the mechanism for that. Some might say that orgasming more intensely (longer?) will cause a greater volume of ejaculation; others would say that ejaculating a greater volume will cause more intensity and a longer duration. Most males say they have a more intense orgasm when they go longer than usual without ejaculating, but most also say it is better to have several average orgasms instead of waiting for one big one.

What are the side effects of a wet dream? (age 13)

None, really. Most males are only aware they're having one for 10 seconds before they ejaculate and then immediately go back to sleep afterward. Some males don't even have that level of awareness and only know they had one when they find their semen when they wake up.

I am saving it for marriage so I won't be having sex for a while. I have always wanted to know, what does it feel like for a girl when a guy ejaculates inside her vagina? (age 21)

Keep in mind I'm male, but females can feel the semen being ejaculated and the buildup before it. A female who really knows her partner can tell when he's about to ejaculate, about the same moment he's aware. It feels like something warm being squirted insider her. Many females dislike what happens next: the semen running out.

Follow-up: Why don't they like the semen running out? When I stop masturbating for a few days then start again, I notice my orgasms are a lot more intense and I ejaculate a lot more and for longer. It is a lot more intense and pleasurable.

It's an uncomfortable feeling to have fluid running out, and it makes a mess. I guess you have to balance your need for quality orgasms vs. your need for quantity.

I go the washroom 2 or 3 times a day to masturbate. I wonder what my mom thinks about it. (age 15)

She probably doesn't have a problem with it.

I masturbate about once a day. I want to quit for a while because it seems that the longer I wait the, better it feels, but I can't seem to stop. What do I do? (age 14)

I suggest waiting only after you can stop.

I masturbate twice a day on average. Depending on the circumstances and how private I am during the day, I can sometimes do it 6 to 8 times. Is this healthy? How often should I do it so that I'm still meeting my needs but still keeping it healthy sexually? (age 15)

You ask a forked question. I don't think 6-8 times in one day is healthy. Once a day is healthy sexually, and perhaps a little more than that. However, you're the only one who can decide if you're meeting your needs. If twice a day isn't often enough for you, then I have the feeling that your needs are too high. You might want to figure out why you're feeling compelled to do it so often some days.

I started masturbating at 18. I think it's kind of late. At what age do most boys start masturbating? (age 20)

You're right about 18 being late. According to a survey of over 10,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007 that asked for ages in whole years, the average male started masturbating at age 12 1/4. According to a survey of over 5,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in 2008 that asked for ages in years and months, the average male started masturbating at age 12 1/3. Either way, you and I (15 3/4) were well above average. But there's no changing the past. Just be glad that you can do it now.

When I finish masturbating, I feel I don't want to do it again. Is there hope for me to stop later in life (before I get married)? (age 15)

I don't think you're ever going to stop. Masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for a male to do. You ought to work on your attitude and learn to accept that. There is a small chance you will stop masturbating for a time after you are sexually active, but I don't think there's any chance of you stopping before you're sexually active. Until then, masturbation is your sexual activity.

In a lot of your answers, you state that if you masturbate, you won't be able to have a wet dream. I'm 15 and I'm determined to get one. What are some tips to get one faster or how to stop the need for masturbation?

I don't think you'll ever have one, and I think trying to quit masturbating is a waste of time. Ejaculation is a basic need for a male past puberty. Males whose first ejaculation is from masturbating tend to never have wet dreams. Males whose first ejaculation is from a wet dream tend to stop having wet dreams once they make masturbation a daily habit. I wish you would instead work on accepting masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and necessary for a male to do.

Sometimes my friend and I go on a photo share messenger session and share pics of girls (models, actors, etc.) and we masturbate and at times mention what we're doing and discuss how we would have sex with these women. Is it normal to masturbate looking at the same pictures with your friend on the other end and talking about it? (age 18)

I think in this high-tech world a lot of males (and females) do that. It's certainly less involved than watching a video with another male in the room with you and each masturbating.

I used to masturbate every day several times a day. Some years ago, there were just a couple of occasions where I did it more than 3 times a day. Now I have a girlfriend and masturbate less frequently, like once or twice a week. The problem is when I am receiving oral sex, or doing any foreplay, I cannot reach orgasm. I think it is weird that I cannot orgasm during foreplay because I am a virgin and before this girl I never had oral sex or any stimulation other than my own. I masturbate conventionally with my hand.

Just a technical thing here: Foreplay is what you call genital play before having sex. If you don't have vaginal intercourse, then what you call foreplay is really manual intercourse. Since you are sexually inexperienced, it is not unusual that you are not reaching orgasm. I suggest relaxing more and not being so worried about having an orgasm. Just try to show your partner what you like and let her know you're having a good time. Orgasms are apt to happen soon. It might also help to stop masturbating for a week before your next encounter.

I seem to remember you saying that pornography can be harmful because it is made by people who do not have our interests in mind and yet I see you recommending it to several of your readers. What gives? Did I misread something? (age 20)

Generally I discourage pornography but I understand that the majority of males are going to use it in some form. I personally don't consider simple nudity to be pornography. Tasteful nude photos are excluded from any recommendation I make against porn. For males (and females) who are going to use less tasteful material anyway, I advise they take into consideration how necessary it is and to be able to masturbate to orgasm at least twice a month without it.

Can I have multiple orgasms while masturbating? (age 16)

Most males don't, but according to two authors, "Any Man Can." I suggest reading that book and giving it a try.

I masturbate 2-3 times a week. Should I try to do it more often? (age 13)

I would if I were you.

My girlfriend went to give me oral sex and she said that she had never seen a penis like mine before. I am uncircumcised and during an erection the head of my penis does not come out of the foreskin. Is this normal? She's been with a lot of guys and has never encountered it before. (age 17)

Yes, that looks normal. I hope your girlfriend is willing to learn about different kinds of penises.

What do you mean by eating your semen? (age 19)

Putting your ejaculate in your mouth and swallowing.

My friend says that if you masturbate, then you're not normal, and he doesn't do it. He's 14. What should I tell him, because I know that that's not true. I suggested HealthyStrokes.com to him.

You're already doing what I would have suggested. As you already know, masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for sexual health. There is a very high chance that he masturbates, and if he really doesn't, he will soon.

When I masturbate, at the time of ejaculation, I pinch the head of my penis to not let the fluids out so that I won't mess my bed. I then go to the bathroom so I can release the fluids and flush them down the drain. Is this unhealthy or could it be harmful or cause problems? (age 14)

That is a very dangerous practice. It is bad for the delicate blood vessels in your penis and worse for your internal organs that send your ejaculate shooting out of your body. You can pretty much point where the ejaculate goes and then clean up with tissue or a rag (an old shirt works well).

I've noticed that I get a better, harder erection after I've masturbated earlier the same day. How does that work? (age 20)

Masturbating to orgasm is better for the penis than when the erection simply subsides on its own. With an orgasm, the blood vessels in your genitalia drain more thoroughly than they do otherwise. That might be part of it.

My girlfriend's sister has made it very obvious she likes me. Two nights ago I was staying over at their house and I had gone a few days without masturbating because my girlfriend had told me that she was going to perform manual intercourse on me for the first time. It turned out she was still afraid so that night I slept in the spare room. I masturbated before bed. Just as I was about to ejaculate, her sister opened the door and smiled. I stopped masturbating and was trying to cover up and she said, "don't stop just for me, I don't mind." She left after I didn't say anything and just rolled over onto my stomach. I don't know if I should tell my girlfriend about this or not. Can you tell me what I should do? Thanks in advance. (age 17)

She is probably going to tell your girlfriend, so I think it is better if your girlfriend hears about it from you. Just tell her what you told me, and your girlfriend will be pleased to know that you resisted temptation and thwarted your sister. Her sister is apt to tell a different version that puts you in a less favorable light.

I started masturbating when I was 12 and I do it once or twice every other day, but I'm deathly afraid of being caught by my mom who has made it crystal clear that she doesn't want me to do it. She also doesn't like me spending too much time in the bathroom or locking my door, and she's almost always at home and so is my sister who shares similar views. What can I do? (age 17)

What you can do and ought to do is masturbate as often as you want and be damned proud of it. There is nothing your mom or sister can do about it. You get to vote next year, remember.

Is there any way a girl can get pregnant by you giving her oral sex? (age 16)

That is extremely unlikely, although I won't call it impossible. You would have to have semen with live sperm in your mouth. Sperm couldn't live in your mouth for more than a few minutes. You would also have to get the sperm into her vagina. When performing cunnilingus on a female, a male doesn't usually introduce fluid into her vagina, let alone expel them far enough into the vagina that they could cause pregnancy.

Can masturbation or sex hurt the frenulum? I remember feeling a lot of discomfort there when I first started masturbating when I was 14, but now I rarely feel anything there. (age 20)

The frenulum is skin, and any human skin can be hurt by something. You obviously learned how not to irritate your frenulum while masturbating. It is even less likely to be irritated by sexual intercourse.

Dear you, I want to say I find some stuff on HealthyStrokes.com very strange. Like you saying to a 16 year old girl that it's unusual for her age to masturbate on lesbian pictures. I know girls who knew they were gay by age 13. You seem to be rather old fashioned. Sex during puberty is rather normal. In fact, it has always been normal, untill the puritans took over after the 1860s. (age 23)

If she has already decided she's a lesbian, then it is not unusual for her to masturbate to lesbian pictures at age 16. However, most 16-year-old females don't masturbate to lesbian pictures -- only 16 percent masturbate to pictures at all most of the time -- and that makes it unusual. Sex during puberty is not normal. Only 12 percent of my non-virgin male readers had sex before their 15th birthdays, and only 13 percent of my non-virgin female readers had sex before their 14th birthdays (puberty generally happens a year earlier for girls). Thanks for calling me old fashioned. That was the only thing in your message that I liked.

Is it bad to hold your breath and masturbate? (age 20)

I have to say it is. The average 20-year-old male takes 11 minutes to masturbate to orgasm. It's bad to hold your breath for 11 minutes, and it's even worse to be able to masturbate to orgasm in the time you can hold your breath.

My girlfriend takes her birth control regularly. When we have sex, she still wants me to pull out. I have no problem doing that because it gives her peace of mind. Does ejaculating inside her increase the chance of pregnancy? (age 20)

The withdrawal method does about nothing to reduce the chance of pregnancy. If she is taking her birth control properly, you shouldn't need that, but if you want to truly reduce your chances of pregnancy, use a condom.

I had to tell my parents that I am sexually active. Do you think they know I masturbate? (age 16)

If your parents know that every sexually active male masturbates, then they have absolutely no doubt.

I find myself unable to hold an erection to masturbate. I can do it for a few seconds, but I become bored and lose the erection. I'm not able to masturbate at all because I cannot hold an erection. I have wet dreams every few weeks, but I'm starting to worry about possible ED, or something similar. What should I do about this? (age 20)

You don't need an erection to masturbate, but it is better if you are erect. I suggest seeing a doctor and working on this. He might prescribe an erection aid for a brief time to help you get better erections. He will also do tests to rule out physical causes of your erectile dysfunction. If boredom is the only cause, then I suggest being less bored when you masturbate.

My girlfriend told me that her ex "forced her" to give him oral sex. I have confided in a very close friend about this, and he thinks it is a load of crap. Thoughts? (age 16)

Your girlfriend's version of the event is that she was forced. Your friend believes she consented. Taking a prosecutorial approach to your girlfriend will not bring her any closer to you. Since you can't change the past, I suggest letting this matter drop.

I'm going on a month long trip about with about ten other kids my age that will include backpacking and camping. What are your suggestions concerning masturbation? Should I abstain for a month? What are other options? (age 15)

I don't think you can or should abstain for a month. Therefore, you will be masturbating on the trip. The questions are when and where. You say the trip "will include backpacking and camping," telling me the whole month will not be backpacking and camping. Presumably you will have more freedom to masturbate on days other than on the camping days. In which case you might just abstain on the camping days. But even so, you will have some private or semi-private latrine, and maybe you could do it there. I also suspect some people will be masturbating in their sleeping bags after dark. So I don't think the situation is as grim as you foresee. It might help if you could discuss it with some of the other males you will be traveling with. Reading my page about masturbating in college dorms might help you.

I'd like to be a sex therapist. Will a degree in Pre Physical Therapy be sufficient to get me into a sexual therapy graduate program? (age 18)

Please read this page from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) about the process of becoming a sex therapist: http://www.aasect.org/profession.asp You might want to contact one or more of the graduate programs that you would apply to and find out what they suggest for you to study in college. You're doing well by inquiring this early.

I woke up at about 3 AM after a very sexual dream. I had a raging erection. I've never had a wet dream, but do you think that I would've had one had I not woken up? If so, do you think I might be able to have one ever? (age 16)

If you haven't had a wet dream by your age, I doubt you ever will. I'm also inclined to believe you would not have had a wet dream if you had remained asleep. Males ejaculate in wet dreams at the point where their penis touches something in the dream. If your penis touched anything in the dream, that is where you would have ejaculated if you were able to have wet dreams.

Almost every night, I suffer from a wet dream, which is called nightfall in India. How can I stop this? (age 23)

Males who masturbate more than four times a week can generally put an end to wet dreams forever. I'm sorry you think of it as suffering. Most males who have wet dreams think they're fun and pleasant.

I LOVE this site. I'm a strong believer in God. I started masturbating early, and I used to enjoy it, and I would always look forward to the next session. Will this affect my sexuality in the future? My parents have caught me masturbating (they just made wisecracks) and I'm always nervous about doing it again. I also have the urge to do it at my friends, grandparents, and others' houses, but I am afraid I will get caught. Is this natural?

God is also a strong believer in you. Masturbation is a gift from God. You should continue to enjoy it. Masturbating is good for your future sexuality. It keeps your sexual organs in good functioning condition. You should not have to worry about being discovered masturbating at home, since both your parents have seen you already. They are OK with it. However, I strongly believe that if you masturbate at other people's houses (where the occupants don't regard you as having much privacy, as opposed to a place you live), you will eventually get caught. Their reaction might be less positive than your parents'. I think your concerns are all natural. You seem to be on your way to accepting masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun.

I like to masturbate while imagining pretty girls masturbating themselves. It feels good while I masturbate, but after I ejaculate, I feel like I did something wrong. Is this wrong to do? (age 13)

No. What you fantasize about is completely up to you. There is nothing wrong with it. Unlike a lot of fantasies that people share, you will almost certainly get to see yours for real someday.

I live in Wisconsin and I WANK!!! (age 15)

Thanks. Always nice to hear from people in Wisconsin.

I've just started to get sexually active, and I'm having a hard time having sex with my partner because I'm having a hard time finding her vaginal opening and pressing myself in. (age 20)

That's not your job. When you're ready to enter her vagina, let her take your penis and guide it in herself. That's how men and women have sex. It's the female's vagina, so she is the one who decides what goes in.

I have a girlfriend, and she tells me she used to masturbate, but she says she stopped doing it because it feels "fake" and that only I can make her feel not fake. Why is this? (age 18)

Sometimes people quit masturbating when they become sexually active. Many people don't quit altogether but masturbate less than they did before. Your girlfriend seems to have a negative attitude toward masturbating. You should be glad that you please her more fully than she does herself, but you might also encourage her to be more positive about the sexual pleasure she can give herself.

What advice do you give to people who do not intend to marry or even have sexual relations with women? Is it OK for them to keep masturbating prone if that is what they like doing? What drawbacks would TMS have for such people? (age 25)

Masturbating prone is harmful to a male's erectile function, and even if all you're going to do is masturbate, it helps to have an erection. Some males sought help for TMS not because they were having trouble with partners, but because they noticed it was getting harder for them to erect before masturbating. Also, I make the obvious point that you cannot know at age 25 what your sexual future will be.

Does putting off masturbation for a short period of time make your next masturbation more enjoyable? If I skip two days and masturbate on the third, will it be feel better than if I had masturbated each day?

According to a survey by HealthyStrokes.com, 86 percent say they have a better orgasm when they haven't had one in an extra-long time. The most frequently cited answer for how many days make a difference is three. However, only a slim majority, 55 percent, say it's worth it to abstain from orgasms in order to have a better one; 44 percent would rather have a bunch of ordinary orgasms than a single superior one. Try it yourself and see.

I masturbate once or twice a day, and I don't usually use lube. I have not developed bruises, but dark spots on the places where I grip the penis. I have started to use lube and I'm wondering how to fix this problem? (age 15)

Skin will heal soon. Using lube will make a difference.

I have at least 6 wet dreams a month. Have I lost my health or will it have any effect on my health? (age 21)

There is nothing unhealthy about wet dreams. They are just unusual for males who have learned other ways of ejaculating. If you want to be done with the wet dreams, all you have to do is masturbate more often. For most males, getting into the habit of masturbating daily or nearly so will put an end to the wet dreams forever.

I read on here that a 16 year old male masturbates about 8 times a week. I masturbate about 14 times a week, in other words twice a day. Is this bad?

It's not bad, but it's just higher than average. At your age, 15 percent of males masturbate more than 10 times a week. You're a long way from being the only one.

Yesterday I dry-humped my girlfriend and squirted semen on her panties. Then she put her hand down in her soggy underwear and masturbated. Can she get pregnant this way? (age 14)

Yes. The way to avoid pregnancy is to keep semen out of her vagina.

I masturbate around 6 to 8 times a week. I have only one testis. Will I have any problem becoming a father and will I have less sex pleasure than others? (age 19)

Many men have become fathers with only one testicle. Your masturbatory frequency is right on the average for your age, meaning that your one testicle delivers enough testosterone for you to have the most common sex drive for your age. I think you will be just fine.

In my whole life I have masturbated only twice. I am suffering from wet dreams for three years now, but at the age of 16, I suffered wet dreams twice a week. I am not taking a lot of water in the evening and I have hot milk before bed. How can I stop having wet dreams? (age 17)

The key is that you have only masturbated twice. If you masturbate at least four times a week, your wet dreams will stop forever.

How many married men use pornography and masturbate? (age 22)

According to a survey of over 8000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the first half of 2007, 86 percent of males use pictures when they masturbate at least some of the time. According to a survey of over 10,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, only 1.5 percent of married men claim to not currently masturbate. Although neither of these surveys asked both about being married and using pictures, it is fairly safe to assume that an overwhelming majority of married men use pictures when they masturbate.

I have been masturbating for over a year now and it only takes me 1 minute to ejaculate. Does this mean I have premature ejaculation? (age 13)

No. Premature ejaculation refers to intercourse. I hope you won't be having intercourse for many years. You will have plenty of time to learn to take longer while masturbating. And just because you can masturbate to orgasm quickly doesn't mean you will reach orgasm quickly in intercourse.

I masturbate prone. Is it enough to stop or must I immediately learn to do it correctly to be cured? (age 14)

As a practical matter, they are one and the same. Since you have to have orgasms, the only way you will be able to give up prone masturbation is by learning to masturbate a different way.

I just started masturbating a couple days ago, and I have trouble masturbating. If you could be kind to tell me some tips that would be great. (age 12)

I don't think you have trouble. I think you're just learning. This site is full of information about masturbating. Please start with my Young Man's Guide to Masturbation.

What's the ideal masturbation frequency in 1 week? (age 20)

I doubt there is an ideal, but the most common answer around your age is seven times.

I'm straight, but sometimes while masturbating (depending on the girl I'm fantasizing about) I get a strong desire to consume my own semen after I ejaculate, but when I do I can't bring myself to do it. I feel guilty for trying to do it but I actually want to try. Is it normal even for a straight guy? How can I bring myself to try? (age 18)

More than half of males have eaten their own semen. About 11 percent of males do so regularly as their way of cleaning up. However, this means that a little less than half of males have never eaten their own semen. There is no reason for you to do it if you don't want to. And if you want to try it, don't think about it so much. Just do it.

Recently I have noticed that I am not ejaculating my norm. It has decreased. Any suggestions? (age 14)

I find it marvelous and mildly amusing that you think you have a norm at your age. Norms are in great flux at age 14. In fact, many boys start out by masturbating 2-3 times a day and then drop to once a day or so at age 14 or 15. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

How many orgasms will a girl have before she is satisfied in bed and before the man reaches his orgasm? (age 19)

That is a very complicated question and one that sex therapists and experts don't agree on. It is usually understood that in a coital session, the man will have exactly one orgasm. The woman might have none, or 10. If you had merely asked how many she would have, I still couldn't answer that precisely. Your question makes it even more difficult by asking how many she will need to be satisfied. It will vary a lot from woman to woman. It generally takes females longer to reach orgasm than males. Some sex therapists suggest this be addressed by the male performing cunnilingus or finger stimulation on the woman as foreplay, thus getting her closer to orgasm before penile intercourse begins. Other sex therapists suggest the man engage in penile intercourse until he is satisfied and then work on the woman orally or manually. As you can see, there are a lot of variables here and no clear answers. It is something all sex partners have to work out according to their own needs.

My mom thinks masturbation is bad and is always asking what I'm doing if I go up to my room. (age 15)

Make sure you have a lot of things to do in your room. Read, work on models, do homework, study, clean your dresser, play games, listen to music, listen to talk radio, perform weather experiments. Then you can tell your mom you're doing one of those things. And you're not going to quit masturbating because your mother doesn't like it, so what does it matter what she thinks?

I just attempted to have sex for the 2nd time. Both girls have been very attractive, but each time I have only been able to get partially up and never enough to penetrate. I masturbate once a day, or every other day. What's going on? (age 16)

I suggest taking 3-4 days off from masturbating in advance of your next intercourse. Once you get used to it, you can try to reduce the interval.

I have been masturbating quite regularly for the past few years. I have had intercourse a few times. I had a rough patch in my life for about a year where I engaged in excessive masturbation and my erections lost their hardness and rigidity. I have done Kegel exercises to regain the hardness. Lately I have had many wet dreams due to less masturbation, I suppose. I sense that the pelvic muscles are worked out. I would like to know the sexual health implications of this and if possible, tips on how to avoid it and regain the erections I had when I was 18. (age 23)

Your erections might never be as strong or frequent as when you were 18. That's normal aging. You don't say what excessive masturbation is, but even if you were doing such a thing, your erections would go back to normal when you reduce your masturbatory frequency. Masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun. Wet dreams won't hurt anything. If you don't like them, then masturbate more and your wet dreams will go away.

I don�t have access to any lubes but I masturbate often. I�m also too afraid to talk to my dad about it. Is it OK to masturbate without lube? (age 13)

Yes, fine. Why not get one on your own? You can buy them in drug and discount stores and even some grocery stores.

I've been masturbating and ejaculating since I was 12 but the night before my 13th birthday I had a wet dream. My whole back was soaked. I haven't had any wet dreams since so is that normal? (age 13)

I don't think you know what a wet dream is. Your back doesn't get soaked. It doesn't get wet at all. It's just an ejaculation of semen, less than when you masturbate. It's normal to never have wet dreams again once you start masturbating.

How can I ask my dad or mom to buy me masturbation lube? (age 12)

Next time you're at a store that sells them (CVS, Target, etc.), get a small bottle of Astroglide and say, "would it be OK if we got this?" If they ask what for, mumble something about it being good for skateboard injuries.

I just ejaculated for the first time yesterday and my penis is swollen. I have ejaculated 5 times in a row since then. When will the swelling go down? (age 12)

At that rate, never. It sounds like a pretty good first day, but why not give it a rest for a few days. Most boys your age only masturbate once or twice a day. If you kept up that rate, you will have masturbated over 30,000 times before you're 30.

Is it OK if I ask a girl about her breast when texting? (age 13)

That is a very bad idea. She probably won't like that question. Does she have pets? Ask about them. Girls with pets always want to talk about them.

I am pretty familiar with TMS, but do you think that the pressure on the penis can be correlated to Peyronie's disease, affecting the penis curvature? (age 15)

I've never heard of an epidemic of TMS males having Peyronie's disease. I recently talked to an expert on Peyronie's who wasn't aware of a co-morbidity with TMS. I think it's a good thing that one doesn't cause the other.

I started masturbating by humping my bed when I was around 9. I started to orgasm at this time but didn't ejaculate until I was 11. Starting then I had a wet dream if I didn't ejaculate at least once a week. To this day, over 14 years later, if I skip masturbating for a week, I have a wet dream. So during those family vacations or trip to Grandma's, I have to take care of myself once or twice. I thought I would share my side of having wet dreams if I skip just a week's worth of fun. (age 24)

I hope you read what wrote about masturbating by humping the bed. It would be useful to know how often you have masturbated over the years. Once a week? Twice a week? Daily?

I masturbate twice a week and sometimes I have wet dreams as often as twice a week. Now I work out in a gym. How does ejaculating affect my muscles and stamina, weight and height? (age 18)

Ejaculating, whether by masturbating, intercourse, or wet dreams, will not harm any of those things and is good for your sexual health.

I teach English in China, and today while tutoring 2 students (a boy and a girl, both about 12 years old) the boy put his hand down his pants and started masturbating. We were sitting at a table and I was reading to them while they were following along, and maybe the boy thought I was too focused on reading to notice. But I'm absolutely positive that's what he was doing as I do the same thing, only in private. Thankfully the girl didn't notice, but I don't know how to handle it. The language barrier prevents me from talking to him or his parents about it. Should I just try to redirect his attention if he does it again? (age 25)

Are you saying he's studying English but doesn't understand "NO!" I think that would be a good word to teach him.

After masturbation, something that seems to be pre-ejaculate comes out for 30 or 40 minutes. I know this is not normal. Please help me! (age 14)

Are you masturbating to orgasm? Are you sure? If not, you could easily have drainage of pre-ejaculate for that long. If you are masturbating to ejaculation, some of it could be semen that didn't get ejaculated, but I wouldn't expect that to last a half hour. Perhaps it would be a good idea to urinate right after you finish masturbating.

I really like my best friend's sister, and for many unexplainable reasons, that I don't even know why, I just feel right when I'm with her, like I've never felt before, just right. But she's only 14 and that's why I'm having reservations. I realize that I must wait until she is 18 to try to do anything, but I also don't want to lose my friendship. I text her from time to time and one day my best friend found out that I was texting her and started asking questions about it. They were just regular texts between friends. I have no intention of doing a thing until she's of age, because I care for her enough to not take advantage of her. I really really like her, and when the time comes, how should I handle this situation? Am I a perv since she's only 14 and I'm 18?

I don't think you're a perv. I also don't think you have to wait until she's 18. You could start dating now -- just go to the movies or something -- and sexual things can happen later. It might also be an option for you to not date her exclusively. Just take her out from time to time to make sure you're both still interested, and meanwhile date other females that you may or may not be sexually involved with. If you and she decide to go out, it is something your friend will just have to live with. He doesn't get a vote.

I know you studied sex since you were my age, but how did you do that? Did you read books and articles or ask people questions? Also, how rewarding is this site? (age 13)

When I was your age, I read about sex in medical books (the kind written for consumers that you find in any library). I always found them useful and full of good information. I started reading professional articles about sexuality (at a medical library) when I was 20 or 21. I didn't start asking people questions (other than a few close friends) until after I started HealthyStrokes.com almost 10 years ago. The site is very rewarding to me.

I have trouble with girls. I'm 18 and haven't had a girlfriend yet. I'm afraid to go for it or be aggressive with girls, becasue I feel that I might be seen as a sexual deviant. I'm very outspoken and a powerful public speaker, but when it comes to girls, I just clam up. I've tried to go out with some girls but never got to the point to ask one out. I also always feel like no girls find me attractive or like me. What should I do? Why am I only shy about girls? (age 18)

I think part of it is that you're aiming for a special type of girl, like a seriously good-looking girl or one who will go on to be a doctor or astronaut. If you look around, you will find lots of girls available, many of whom would be interested in getting to know you better and go out with you. You are probably not noticing those girls because you've got your sights set on the knockouts and future astronauts.

Another part of it is that you take possible rejection from girls more personally than that which you encounter as an outspoken public speaker. When people are negative toward you as a speaker or activist, you can rationalize that they're not rejecting you, just your ideas. When it comes from girls, you have to understand that they are rejecting you. But it's not the end of the world. Just as you might have to speak to a large number of people before you can get your ideas accepted by anyone, you have to talk to a lot of girls and ask some out before you can expect one to go out with you. But just work on it every day. You miss all of the shots you don't take.

I am circumcised, so when I masturbate, should I avoid touching my glans? (age 14)

A circumcised male typically avoids touching the head (glans) of his penis because it is so sensitive, but that doesn't mean you have to if it doesn't hurt. Also, you can easily stroke the glans when you use lube.

Is it normal to masturbate to pics of naked girls? (age 13)

Yes, that might be the most normal thing you ever do.

How do I tell my best friend I masturbate, and then ask to masturbate together? I am not gay, though, because I have a girlfriend. (age 13)

If you have to ask me how to tell him, then you're not comfortable telling him you masturbate. If you can't tell him you masturbate, then you're not going to be able to ask him to masturbate with you. I think you should forget the whole thing. Having a girlfriend (or a wife) doesn't mean that a male isn't gay.

I'm 15 and I've never had a girlfriend, been to a party or had any kind of sexual relationship. I know for a fact that a few of my friends of my age have lost their virginity and it kinda weirds me out. Although I would like to have sex, parties and things do not interest me in the slightest. I'm happy, but it is in the back of my mind that I'm a bit strange. Being in a boy's school doesn't help either! Any advice?

You are not strange. Most of the males your age have never done those things, and nearly all of them will grow up sexually healthy. Many of the guys in your school are involved with girls. Learn what you can about what their social life is like. Try to connect with girls and go out with them. I don't think you should be having sex right now.

I masturbate every single night before bed. I usually get on my knees and sit on my heels. Is that normal? Every time I've masturbated, it's women in bikinis. Does this make me creepy? (age 13)

Not the least bit creepy. Sitting on the heels is a masturbatory variation for a lot of males, but most find it more comfortable to lie back and stroke.

What are your thoughts on a male masturbating with a child's toy, like a female doll? As long as the male is keeping the female doll secret, is there any harm in it? (age 44)

What you use to masturbate is up to you. Most men your age masturbate with photos or videos featuring adult women.

One of my housemates used to live in a naturist community, and his birthday is coming up, so the rest of us have been planning a (non-sexual) clothes-free surprise party for him. I'm not being forced to participate -- I want to be naked to support my friend -- and I am not uncomfortable with the idea of being naked around my friends. What I am concerned about is potentially getting an erection while naked (the party is mixed, so there will be several naked women attending), which would likely clash with the explicitly non-sexual nature of the party. Do you have any advice on preventing that from happening? Do you think the other partygoers might take offense? (age 20)

Your question indicates that you are, in fact, uncomfortable being naked around your friends. If your friend is the only one who used to be a naturist, then he is the only one who is used to it. I suspect that experienced naturists would have seen their share of erections, and they would not take offense, but I am unsure about what the others would think or do. I highly doubt that a mixed party of 20-year-old non-naturists will be non-sexual. I remember reading in the book Summerhill (about a radical private boarding school) that even though the school had a clothing-optional policy for recreational time, the post-pubescent boys tended to wear shorts due to their uncontrollable reactions. (I'm writing this at a supermarket, but if I were home, I would look up the exact quote.)

I have been masturbating in the prone postion for many years now and do it at least once a day. I have started the abstaning process and I was wondering how long it would take for me to be cured, and once I am cured, can I masturbate sitting down in my bathroom with a visual aid, or do I have to lie down? (age 15)

Congratulations on deciding to get over prone masturbation. It is perfectly fine to masturbate sitting in your bathroom, although you will probably find it easier to do the first time lying down.

I'm 13 and recently found the joy of masturbating. I have been doing it for quite some time now and was noticing I urinate much more frequently. Is this normal? How do I control it? I feel the problem less and less the longer I go without masturbation (a week, or even a few days).

I highly doubt you are having prostate trouble that would affect your urinating at age 13. If it really bothers you, start urinating into a measuring cup (a special one used only for this purpose!) and see if your volume is reduced at these times of frequent urination. It's more likely just because of the weather. Things will be different once school starts.

I have never had a wet dream but I'm kind of curious about what one feels like. I read about a person who after reading about Pavlov masturbated while listening to a song for 3 months to see if they would have an orgasm when they heard the song without stimulation. I have been curious if I listen to this song while sleeping if it will cause a wet dream. Do you have any thoughts on this? I love what you're doing with this site and how you provide good information to people who need it. (age 14)

You don't say what happened to the person you read about (who read about Pavlov). I am inclined to doubt that listening to that song would bring on a wet dream. Hypnosis doesn't bring on wet dreams. A wet dream is just an ejaculation that happens in your sleep. Ejaculation is much more fun when you're awake.

Occasionally, I hold off masturbating for three or four days so that I can have a more powerful ejaculation when I do. After I do this, I have an ache in my scrotum that lasts for several hours. After looking at the illustrations on your site, I think that the little tubes that carry sperm from the testes to the prostate have been stretched or overloaded, and have become sore. Is this possible? (age 15)

I have never heard of that happening. The pain you describe is called epididymitis, and it is a condition you don't want to have. If abstaining for 3-4 days is really causing epididymitis, then you want to ejaculate more often.

Why do you think is it that once we start masturbation we will likely never have wet dreams again? (age 25)

My theory is that the body gets used to a particular level of physical stimulation and then doesn't respond to whatever (inside the brain) causes a wet dream. Some boys can keep having wet dreams even after they masturbate if they don't make masturbation a daily habit. If they only do it twice or three times a week in some cases, the wet dreams can continue for years.

I have never been caught, but I want my brother's girlfriend to catch me. Is this normal? (age 13)

I don't care; it's a bad idea either way.

I copied the source code of your main page and pasted it into my text editor. When I opened the file in Firefox, I saw a deformed version. The area on the left is a tad too big and the background color isn't there. I don't expect you to respond to this but did you code this site youself? (age 18)

Yes, I did. The site uses cascading style sheets, and if you opened it without them, then you didn't see the formatting contained in them.

I've been masturbating for 2 years and I have had orgasms where it shoots out my penis, but usually it just leaks out and I don't have that shooting ejaculation. Is there something wrong with me? (age 16)

No, it's all about timing. To get the shooting ejaculation, you need to use your PC muscle to hold it in for about one second before you ejaculate. In that one second, force will build up and when you release it, it will shoot your semen out.

I had epididymitis 5 months ago and took the antibiotic treatment. During the treatment I masturbated once; after the treatment, the pain decreased every week but a little pain persists after ejaculation. It is normal? Will it disappear eventually or there is some damage left? (My urologist told me that recovery was long and that I didn't need more antibiotics 2 weeks after the initial treatment.) (age 25)

Antibiotics will only kill bacteria; they will not address any inflammation. You should have been taking ibuprofen along with the antibiotics. They will help with any pain or swelling.

Follow-up: I DID take ibuprofen as part of the treatment along with Ciprofloxacin. Although the pain still decreases every week, a little pain persists before and after ejaculation. Since I was cured, I've had intercourse with my girlfriend once every week. But the pain is still there and my urologist keeps saying that I don't need another course of treatment. After the infection was treated, is there still some damage left enough to have "chronic pain" every time I have intercourse or masturbate? Does it take a long time to recover fully?

Yes, it can take a while for your epididymis to feel completely normal after epididymitis. The antibiotics were to kill a bacterial infection that might have caused the epididymitis. You might continue with a small dose of ibuprofen when you feel the pain. Your doctor should have told you that. Also, at your age, you should be ejaculating more than once a week. Ejaculating too infrequently causes more problems than ejaculating too much.

Follow-up: It's true that the recovery is long. The urologist said that it took 2 months but the pain hasn't dissapeared as he told me. So you recommend to me to ejaculate more than once every week? (How many times?) That's good because one single intercourse each week was causing strains in my relationship, but my girlfriend understands. We're planning to have kids in the future. Does this infection cause enough damage to cause me sterility or flawed sperm? The urologist told us that it doesn't. But another opinion is always welcome.

I don't see the harm in ejaculating three times a week. Epididymitis will not affect your fertility if it is unilateral and there is only a small chance it will if it's bilateral.

It's wrong for you to convince people that getting help from a therapist is unnecessary. TMS is potentially addicting, and most people cannot quit an addiction alone. (age 17)

I don't try to convince people not to hire a therapist. Overwhelmingly, males overcome TMS on their own. A few hire therapists, which may be helpful, but is certainly not necessary for the vast majority of males who masturbate prone. Prone masturbation is not an addiction. It is simply a dysfunction.

Since I have been reading HealthyStrokes.com, I have thought that I should masturbate even more since you said it's healthy. Sometimes I try to get myself horny and masturbate. Is this OK? (age 13)

It's a lot better than OK.

Just want to say thanks for helping me give up prone masturbation! (age 14)

You are welcome!

I usually masturbate by rubbing my penis head on my right leg since I'm left handed. Is this considered TMS? (age 15)

It is not TMS, but it is an atypical form of masturbating that might cause the same sexual dysfunctions that TMS does. Make a point of giving that habit up.

I have retarded ejaculation. I can reach orgasm masturbating (which I do non-TMS) but I cannot reach orgasm inside my girlfriend. What could be causing this problem? We have a great relationship and she is on birth control so it shouldn't be from any worries. (age 16)

Are you taking anti-depressants? They are a frequent cause of retarded ejaculation. If so, ask your doctor to prescribe one that doesn't have sexual side effects. If it isn't the anti-depressants, then I would advise abstaining from masturbation for 3-5 days before having sex.

I'm trying to change my life and move away from sex because my ex was a sex addict. I'm a guy and I'm really religious now and go to church 8 hours a week. I'm 16 and the thing is I've been addicted to porn for years and I want to get away from it but I need it for masturbation and if I don't masturbate for one day, I get aggressive. I need the release of tension but even the lustful thoughts of sex are sin so I don't know how I can masturbate anymore. I'm really Christian. I really need to know what to do. Please help. I'm scared.

Masturbating is good for you. It is a gift from God. Christians and Jews and Hindus and the non-religious all do it. I don't know what kind of porn you're talking about, but maybe if you used simple nude photos instead of videos of sex acts, you would feel less guilty about it.

I have not been erecting well lately. It might be because of the stress I'm having in business. What advice can you give? (age 24)

Unfortunately, stress works against sexual excitement. You are apt to enjoy sex more when you can put some of the stress out of your life. Sex and masturbation can also reduce stress. Maybe you can put that to work for you.

I dont think I have hit puberty but I have lots of pubic hair and semen comes when I masturbate. (age 13)

If you have either pubic hair or semen, you've reached puberty. If you have both, you're well into it.

I am suffering from wet dreams. (age 22)

Wet dreams are not a form of suffering. Anyway, if you really don't want them, just masturbate at least four times a week. That will put an end to them forever.

Do females masturbate more frequently than males? (age 19)

Definitely not. Most research on the subject find that females who masturbate do it about as many times in a month as a male the same age does in a week. Furthermore, all males masturbate by age 18, while only about three fourths of females do. Although masturbation has been observed in all species of mammal, there is no species in which the females masturbate more than the males.

One of my testicles is probably 2 or 3 times the size of the other. Is this normal, or should I see a doctor? How do I go about telling my parents if I need to go the doctor? (age 13)

They are not always the same size, but if they are as different as you say, it should be checked out by a doctor. Do you have your own health insurance card? If so, just go to the doctor by yourself. Or you could tell your parents the truth.

I started masturbating 6 months ago about 7 times a week. If I stop will I get wet dreams? (age 13)

No, I don't think you will. It seems that once you make masturbation a daily habit, it puts an end to your wet dreams forever.

First of all I want to thank you! I love HealthyStrokes.com! It removed my guilt of masturbation completely! Great Job :-)! Yesterday I cleaned my penis with Dettol diluted in water with my foreskin pulled down. Will Dettol affect my penis in any way? (age 14)

Did you have tar on your penis? Whyever would you need something as strong as Dettol (Lysol)? I don't suppose it will hurt your penis, but repeated use of that could present a problem. Next time use a product designed to be used on skin. The most sensitive skin on your body.

Is it possible to desensitize the penis using a sock for masturbation? I always masturbate with a sock. I find a soft one and slide it on, find something online to get aroused to and I masturbate. The few times I've had sex I wasn't able to ejaculate. (age 24)

I always point out that males who masturbate conventionally have the easiest time having orgasms in intercourse. If you're stroking with the sock and not thrusting into it, then I would expect you to be OK, but it makes me wonder why you prefer the sock to your hand. Your hand has muscles and soft skin and flexible fingers. The sock can't compete with that. In your case, I would urge giving up the sock and working at masturbating using only your hand. Try to use as light a touch as you can.

I usually masturbate once or twice a day. I am having school exams these days and feel the urge to masturbate more. (age 14)

That is very typical. Stress causes most guys to masturbate more. Good luck with your exams.

This girl was wearing short shorts and I think she may have noticed I got an erection. It popped up and went down in one twitch. I feel embarrassed to go back to class. (age 19)

One twitch is not very long for a girl to notice. Instead of being embarrassed, you should be proud that you can erect so readily. Go back to class and smile.

My girlfriend recently asked me to "take her." What does she mean? I think I may know but I'm not sure and she isn't telling me. (age 15)

If you don't know, then you're definitely too young to take her.

Is it possible to have wet dreams again after masturbating for about 3 years? (age 15)

It's possible but not likely. I wouldn't waste time and orgasms by abstaining from masturbating in order to find out. The most likely case is that you had your last orgasm three years ago.

I was away for two weeks at a camp and couldn't masturbate as there was no privacy. When I came back, I masturbated, but afterward my penis almost swelled up, but then the swelling went away the next day. What could it have been? (age 17)

I suspect you were too rough handling your penis while pursuing your first orgasm in over two weeks. Since it was normal again the next day, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'll bet some of the males (and females) who were with you at camp masturbated during that time.

HealthyStrokes.com basically saved me. Since I started masturbating, I always thought that masturbating prone was completely normal, but now, only a few weeks later, I'm doing it properly. Thank you so, so much for this site. (age 16)

I have been bringing myself to orgasm in the shower almost every day for the past month. I have been using shampoo, body wash, soap, and shaving cream. Could this possibly be bad for my penis? Will masturbating in the shower make me have more endurance? (age 15)

Your long list of lubricants leads me to believe you're not enjoying shower masturbating all that much. None of those are bad for your penis if you wash them off thoroughly. It often takes males longer to masturbate in the shower, so if that's what you mean by endurance, then maybe.

Recently I have become a lot hornier than usual. I used to masturbate 3 times a month and now I am at 5. Why is this? (age 17)

The difference between 3 and 5 times a month is so small that I doubt it means anything. Most males your age masturbate about once a day.

My friend has aked me if I want to masturbate with him sometime. I am straight but I don't know what to say. I've been masturbating for about two years now. (age 15)

If you don't know what to say, then your answer is no. Just tell him you're not interested and you hope it won't affect your friendship.

I usually lie on my side and masturbate using a soft cloth wrapped around my penis. Is anything dangerous in my method for masturbating?

That is an atypical method of masturbating that won't help you become habituated to having sex with a partner. I would advise masturbating with a water-based or silicon-based lube, which would have some of the same effect the soft cloth is giving you but without being an atypical way to masturbate.

I currently have a giant red thing on my penis which has a dot of pus, so I'm very sure it's a huge pimple. How should I deal with it? It hurts if I touch hard, and I masturbate with lube almost always. Should I stop masturbating until it's healed? Thanks for all your help in the past. You're great! (age 14)

I would keep it clean and avoid touching that spot until it's healed. There's no reason to stop masturbating altogether. That will not help it heal faster but will make you very cranky.

I don't have much privacy and I share a room with my brother (16) so where else can I masturbate? (age 14)

Certainly your older brother is in the same situation you are. Why not offer to set aside some time where he can be alone inyour bedroom, if he will do the same for you. You need not mention masturbation specifically.

Is there anything wrong with a 58 year old man still having wet dreams? I have masturbated before, but not for over two years. I have sex weekly and have an orgasm, but I just started having wet dreams again. Is there anything wrong?

No, there is nothing wrong with having wet dreams. If they really bother you, then masturbating or having sex more often would make them go away.

My mom was in my room and asked me about all the little specks on my sheets.She said my brother always had them too. Was she right to be sarcastic? (age 16)

Do you know she was being sarcastic? Maybe she doesn't recognize the specks. If she was being sarcastic, she knows you masturbate in bed, and you don't have to worry about it anymore. If she wasn't being sarcastic, she doesn't know you masturbate in bed, and you don't have to worry about it anymore. Either way, you don't have to worry about it anymore. Oh, and light colored sheets are better at disguising those little specks.

I am going to join the military soon. Will it be possible to masturbate in the barracks or during boot camp? (age 19)

Possible, yes. Likely, no. Comfortable, no. Frequently, no. Some of the restrictions they put on you during boot camp are specifically to keep you from masturbating. They make you use toilets without partitions and showers without curtains. At night, they keep the lights on in the barracks. Some men manage to masturbate in these conditions, but many make it all the way through basic training without an orgasm. During basic training, they want you to understand that you have no control over your life and that includes not being able to masturbate when you want. When basic training is over and you're assigned to a regular unit, you'll have much more ability to masturbate.

This photo of a bathroom (latrine) at an Army training camp shows that recruits have no privacy in the bathroom.

I am curious as to whether frequency of masturbation for males can have have any adverse effects? I usually masturbate once every other day, but sometimes I do once or twice a day. Is there any reason I should do it less frequently at my age? (age 26)

Once every other day is on the low side for your age. Most males your age masturbate daily. I don't think you should do it less frequently. If anything, you should do it more.

Does masturbation with or without porn lead to problems with arousal? (age 20)

You have asked a tricky question, because all men masturbate and some have problems with arousal. In general, masturbating is healthy and good for a male to develop normal arousal habits. Some males will have trouble getting aroused, and for them, using visual aids (pictures or videos) will help them get aroused. Some males will also get so used to using visual aids that they can't get aroused without them. I suppose a more specific question would get at more of what you want, but I should point out that according to a survey of over 8000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the first half of 2007, which included 1582 males age 18-21, inclusive, 69 percent used pictures most of the time when they masturbate.

Why is it so hard to masturbate when you are in love? I have been in love with a girl for a couple of weeks now, and even though we kiss regularly, we haven't had sex yet. However, in those 3 weeks, I've only masturbated thrice. I know you have to masturbate at least once every week or so for health reasons, but I'm used to doing it a lot more often. I found even porn can't get me excited anymore, and it's requiring a lot of effort on my part to get myself to ejaculate. I also don't want to force my girlfriend into sex too early. What do I do? (age 19)

I don't agree with your contention that it's hard to masturbate when you're in love. Most males masturbate frequently even when they're having sexual intercourse. Especially at your age. I agree that you shouldn't ever force someone into sex. I think you're better off accepting masturbation as something normal, healthy, and fun, that you do whether or not you're in a relationship. Just do it often and enjoy it.

I am 14 and have been masturbating for a few months. I can get a clear liquid to come out after a few minutes but I'm not sure if that is semen or just pre-cum. Is there something wrong with me or what?

You are fine. That is pre-cum. If you keep masturbating when the clear liquid comes out, you ought to be able to ejaculate within 3-5 minutes.

After I ejaculated in my most recent masturbating session, my penis didn't shrink to normal size but stayed stiff though not fully erect. However, I don't feel like masturbating again. Is this normal? (age 14)

Yes, an erect penis doesn't always go back to its detumescent size immediately after ejaculation.

I masturbate almost five times a day. I have been doing this for a year. Now I am an addict. I want to get rid of masturbation. I masturbate even when I look at actresses' pictures in newspapers. Please help me. (age 21)

I don't think you'll ever stop masturbating, but that doesn't make you an addict. Most males your age only do it once a day, perhaps twice. I suggest cutting down to 1-2 times a day and seeing if you are still upset. I think it's a good think that newspaper photos turn you on.

I seem to ejaculate more when I masturbate lying on my back rather than standing. Is there an explanation for this? (age 14)

I suspect you're more relaxed on your back and better able to get those last drops out.

Recently, I feel that my sexual desires have been relatively high compared to the past few months. Is it normal or is it because of the fact that I'm in an all-boys school? How can I suppress this desire? I've been masturbating almost a day. (age 14)

Almost once a day is quite normal, perhaps even on the low end of normal, at your age. You are pretty young and really don't have a good baseline on which to measure your sexual desires. Anyway, a lot can happen over the space of a few months. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Most boys your age masturbate often whether they go to a co-ed school or a boys' school.

I'm circumcised but I notice the area under the head of my penis where the foreskin would cover is much more soft and almost sticky than the rest of my penis. Is this normal? (age 19)

If you are talking about the area below your glans, right at the top of the shaft, then yes, that's normal.

I have masturbated about 3 times in the past 2 months. I'm not sure I've started puberty yet. Is this infrequent enough for me to have a wet dream? (age 13)

I would expect if you've only masturbated three times in two months that you could still have a wet dream. Most guys lose their wet dreams when they get up to masturbating to orgasm four times a week or more.

I used to masturbate since puberty but I decided to stop at 15 for religious purposes and I abstained without difficulty for a year, but then I started masturbating again once a month for three months then once each week then every other day to deal with an extreme urge. Is this completely normal? (age 17)

It is very normal to masturbate daily at your age. Masturbating once a month might be in the normal range for a girl your age but not a boy. I am guessing you weren't masturbating very often between puberty and age 15. If you said you were masturbating daily and then decided to quit, I wouldn't believe you.

I woke up one day with red spots on my glans penis. Later that day while I was masturbating, these red spots became more red. After some days, I realized that whenever I wake up and I don't masturbate, these dots are barely visible, but when I masturbate, they get really reddish. I'm still a virgin so it can't be an STD. I masturbate 3-5 times every day. My penis isn't itchy at all. I'm worried because if I have a sexual intercourse in the future my partner may think I'm sick or something. (age 18) (age 18)

I strongly suggest having a doctor examine them. If you really don't want to tell a doctor what you told me, then you might try self-help by cutting your masturbation frequency down to once a day and see if it gets better. Don't be embarrassed to tell the doctor you masturbate. He masturbates too.

I first discovered masturbating when I was 7 years old and have been masturbating ever since. But whenever I masturbate, I always hold my breath and tighten my muscles. I find it hard to reach climax when I don't hold my breath or tighten my muscles. Is that bad? Should I change my masturbating techniques? (age 17)

Most guys hold their bodies tense while they masturbate; it keeps the legs from acting up and interfering with the pleasurable feeling. But you should not have to do it every time. Sometimes the most intense orgasms can happen when a male is kneeling, in which case the legs are not tense at all. I would suggest working on both of those things. They are making your masturbation more ritualized and stereotyped than it needs to be. Work on enjoying different kinds of sensations.

Is it normal for me to be sexually attracted to younger kids of the opposite sex? (age 15)

If they're reached puberty, sure. But I would hesitate to tell you that attraction to prepubescent girls is normal. Nearly all guys your age are attracted to others their age.

I've been dating this girl for 1 1/2 years now and I was wondering when's a good time to ask her to give me oral sex. She already told me that she is willing to, but we are both skeptical about whether it should be before or after high school graduation. (age 17)

If you're both skeptical, then you shouldn't be doing it. I think a better question to ask yourself is if you're ready to give her oral sex? If you aren't ready to do it to her, why would you ask her to do it to you?

When I have a wet dream (about once a week if I don't masturbate) what looks like 1/2 a cup comes out, but when I masturbate, nothing will come out. Is that normal? (age 14)

I'm certain it isn't anywhere near half a cup. Why don't you go measure out a half cup of water in your kitchen and then pour it in your hand? With more practice, you will ejaculate more when you masturbate (and probably lose your wet dreams completely).

Will masturbation affect my muscles? I am a bodybuilder and when I masturbate before exercise, I feel very tired for the gym. (age 18)

It probably doesn't affect your muscles, but masturbating might use up energy that you would otherwise burn at the gym. I also know of men who like to masturbate before an exercise session before it relaxes them. Different people will experience it differently.

To this day I haven't been caught. I am a paranoid person and do it when I am alone. Is this normal to be so paranoid? (age 17)

Since you couldn't bring yourself to say what it is you're afraid of being caught doing, I believe you're more embarrassed than paranoid. Most males who start out embarrassed become less so at age 18. I think you will be less afraid of being caught soon. Also, at your age, only 35 percent of males have been discovered. Not until age 29 has it happened to a majority of males.

I turned 19 and realized that I'm not masturbating as often as I used to when I was 17 or 18. Is it normal for people to masturbate less often when they get older?

Yes, but it's only very slightly less at 19 compared to 17-18. Usually men cut back at that age because they're having more intercourse.

When I am ejaculating, sometimes I pinch the end of my penis to avoid the mess until I can get a tissue. Can this be damaging? (age 22)

Yes, that is bad. When you do that, you cause your ejaculate to be redirected into your urinary bladder. The force you use to stop it can damage your nerves and blood vessels. Don't do that.

Is it normal to sometimes have weak feeling orgasms? (age 14)

Yes, orgasms come with a range of feelings. They will not all feel strong and powerful. The weak ones are also fun.

I want to tell my mom that I masturbate. I also want ask her or my brother (who's 22) to get me condoms, nude mags, and some lube. How do I ask either one of them? And how can I tell my mom that I masturbate? I think she would be OK with it. (age 13)

Your mom is probably OK with masturbating, but she assuredly doesn't want you to tell her you masturbate, so there is no reason to figure out how to tell her. If you can talk to your brother about those kinds of things, I think it would be better. If you want condoms, he will definitely assume you are having sex. Why not ask him how he dealt with these issues and what, if anything, he told your mother.

I have a female friend who told me she masturbates. However, she thinks that it is disgusting and she seems to be ashamed of it. I want to tell her that she shouldn't be ashamed and it's perfectly normal. How should I go about doing this? (age 17)

You're lucky to have a friend you can share that kind of thing with. Maybe she would be interested in being more than a friend. You could start by telling her, "you know that thing you told me about that you thought was disgusting? Well, I happen to know it's normal, healthy, and fun for both males and females. You can learn more at HealthyStrokes.com, which has over a million words of information about masturbation for both males and females."

I have had wet dreams over the past 2 weeks and I don't know if that is any good or not. I masturbate daily. (age 30)

It's unusual to have wet dreams at your age, especially if you masturbate daily, but that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Just enjoy them and don't let them keep you from anything else you want to do.

I masturbate about once a day. Most days I look at swimsuit pictures of girls while I masturbate. About once a week I masturbate while watching a porn move. Is this OK or normal? (age 14)

Yes, I think that's all OK and normal, but I wish you would just use your imagination at least some of the time. It's good to exercise your imagination when you're young and learning.

I have a pantyhose fetish and I like to masturbate wearing it. When I see girls or even just pictures of girls in pantyhose, I get aroused. Is there something wrong with me? (age 19)

I think that's a fairly common fetish. Whatever you fantasize about is OK, but keep in mind that wearing women's pantyhose is going beyond fantasy. I think it would be better if you worked on being aroused by the girls instead of just their pantyhose.

I really like your site. It's helping me a lot with the whole puberty thing. (age 12)

That's good news! Keep reading!

I recently tried to penetrate my girlfriend but I couldn't find the opening of her vagina. But I realized my mistake and I stopped trying to penetrate her. Both of us are virgins. I would like to know if she can get pregnant from my penis touching the outer part of her vulva? I am unsure if I had precum on my penis. (age 21)

I suspect you are not virgins anymore even if you haven't had full vaginal penetration. Next time try to get her to relax and help you get in. Even experienced partners help each other.

Is it OK to masturbate with the stop and go technique? Does the stop and go technique make it feel better to masturbate? Are there any reasons why it would feel better? (age 24)

The stop and go technique is to help men who experience premature ejaculation learn better control of their orgasms. It does not make the orgasm or the masturbation session feel better. If a male is not experiencing PE, it would probably be counterproductive for him to practice stop and go. By using stop and go when you don't need it to cure PE, you are teaching your body to not respond to sexual stimulation. Of course, all males sometimes stop in the middle of a masturbation session for one reason or another, but regularly stopping will not help you learn proper sexual response.

Would you say soft porn is OK to masturbate to because I sometimes have trouble trying to visualize? (age 14)

I think by soft you mean simple nudity with no sex acts. I'm only OK with that kind of material if it is tasteful and the models are properly compensated. However, I also think it is better for you to learn to exercise your sexual imagination at your age and to only use visual aids (photos, videos) occasionally.

I like to touch myself but I do not like to ejaculate. Is this normal? (age 14)

You make me wonder if you know what ejaculating is. Nearly all males enjoy ejaculating more than anything else they do. If you don't like ejaculating, I suspect you've never ejaculated; and if you really have ejaculated, then no, that is not normal. Try to find out why you don't like it and see how you can fix it.

I really like to masturbate as it is nice and stuff, but I'm so worried my mom is going to walk in on me. I'm so worried. I read so many of your advice articles and they helped but I still feel worried. Why is this? (age 14)

No one wants to be discovered while masturbating, but if it happens (as it eventually does to about half of males), it won't be the end of the world. Your mom (or whoever) is not going to be bothered by knowing you masturbate. It might be she already thinks you do. Most males who are discovered are only ever walked in on once, so it shouldn't affect your enjoyment of all the times that you go undisturbed. I assume you've already read my page about being caught masturbating.

When I masturbated when I was younger, I would shoot a lot more and higher than I do now. I used to regularly hit my chest/face but now I rarely shoot past my belly button. Is this normal? (age 19)

You've probably gotten better at controlling your ejaculation than you used to be. If you really let it fly uncontrolled, you would probably find it really can go farther than your belly button.

Is it normal to have difficulty ejaculating? I have had sex over 10 times with the same person but I was only able to ejaculate once. I masturbate once a day and do it while facing sideways in bed. (age 19)

Orgasmic dysfunction is rare and not common at your age. I've never known the sideways position to be cause of sexual dysfunction (as the prone position is), but most guys masturbate either lying on their backs or sitting up (like at the computer). I would recommend working on one of those positions. Also, masturbating daily makes it more difficult for you to ejaculate in intercourse. I recommend abstaining from masturbation for 3-4 days before having intercourse.

I experience pre-cum but rarely actual cum. I masturbate up and down with my hand. My penis is always a little bit sore after the pre-cum and doesn't feel like I will get any more out. Is there something wrong with me and how can I improve? (age 16)

If your penis is sore, I suspect you're using too much force. I suggest abstaining from masturbating for 5-7 days and then using a very gentle hand pressure when you next masturbate. Try to realize the power of gentle touch.

As far as I know, my friends don't masturbate. Is that a bad thing? (age 13)

Most of your friends masturbate. That's a fact. Masturbating is not a bad thing, and neither is being uncertain about whether your friends masturbate.

I'm from Minnesota and I keep my monkey well polished. (age 17)

So do nearly all males your age in the other 49 states.

Thanks for your interesting and informative web site. I never knew that it was called masturbating. I thought I was weird when I did it. What's the age limit? (age 13)

There isn't one. About three of four males your age have already started masturbating.

I masturbate frequently and ejaculate into my boxers, and then I throw them into my dirty clothes hamper. The few times my mom walks into my room she comments on how it's "stuffy." Is it because she can smell my semen? (age 13)

No, and maybe she'd come into your room more often if you opened a window for a few minutes every day.

I've been masturbating for around a decade now, but my frequency has varied. Some years ago, I began getting hemorrhoids and they most often coincided with my masturbation sessions. I tried Kegels to improve my sexual stamina, but they tended to agitate them so I stopped. My urination, ejaculation, and sexual performance are perfectly normal, but could the pain and hemorrhoids be a sign that I permanently damaged my prostate? (age 22)

I have never heard of hemorrhoids being linked to masturbation. Assuming you've tried the conventional remedies (witch hazel, etc.), you might see a doctor about them. He would assuredly tell you that masturbating is not to blame.

I have OCD/anxiety disorder and due to this my doctor prescribed me an SSRI. However, I have read the possible side effects online and one of the major ones is decreased libido or a total lack of libido. How am I possibly going to have a girlfriend while in college if I have to take an SSRI that causes sexual dysfunction? I don't know any women that would put up with this. It's irritating that I have to sacrifice either one thing for another. I am still a virgin; should I say goodbye to having any chances of getting a girlfriend and having sex in the future now that I'm going to take this med? (age 20)

You don't even know that the pill will cause that. Side effects are by no means universal. Why not give the pill a try and see if it causes sexual dysfunction? If so, ask the doctor to change your prescription to a different SSRI, such as Wellbutrin, that doesn't cause sexual side effects. Keep track of how often you're masturbating before and after starting the pill for a few months so you can prove to yourself that there is a difference.

Masturbation was created by man. How do you know it is not sinful? (age 14)

According to both evolution theory and the account of the creation in the Bible, humans were among the last animals to appear. Masturbation has been documented in every species of mammal. Therefore, other animals were masturbating before the first humans appeared on earth. So, masturbation was not created by man.

I am 26 and previously masturbated twice a day and I got pain in my low back and I stopped masturbating at that frequency, but I still am suffering from low back pain. How can I overcome this?

Low back pain can sometimes be caused by excessive masturbation, because pain originating in the prostate gland can radiate outward and be felt throughout the region. If this is the cause of your pain, then I suggest cutting back on your masturbating to no more than three times a week until the pain goes away; also cut out caffeine, and soak in a tub for 30 minutes nightly.

Sometimes when I masturbate, semen goes everywhere and stains my sheets. What is the best way to clean up the semen? (age 15)

Semen washes easily out of sheets. If you don't want to wash them in a washing machine, you might get the affected area wet and dissolve the semen. You might also learn to use your other hand to deflect the semen.

I use saliva as lube for masturbation! Is anything wrong in doing so? One night, I had a wet dream about my aunt! What should I do? (age 14 1/3)

There is no harm in using saliva as lube, but most males prefer something slicker. If the dream is unappealing to you, just don't think about it, and it will soon be forgotten. You will probably not have wet dreams much longer anyway.

I have experienced masturbation since I was 11 and now that I am 17, I have gone for a week not masturbating. Is it possible to achieve a wet dream or should I just masturbate it?

I am concerned that you want wet dreams because you are ashamed of masturbating. You reveal this by saying you "have experienced masturbation" since you were 11, which is a passive and awkward way of saying you masturbate. Masturbation is not something that happens to you; you do it yourself. I find it very unlikely that you will have a wet dream at your age, after 6 years of masturbating, so I suggest that you masturbate, and enjoy it. Masturbating is not only fun, it is normal and healthy, and even necessary for male sexual health.

I have orgasms but I am sometimes still hard. Is that normal. (age 18)

Yes, that happens to a lot of males at your age. As you get older, you will probably deflate immediately after ejaculating.

Is there anything that can affect sperm count? (age 15)

That is a vague question. A lot of things can affect sperm count. If you're looking to improve your sperm count (which is unusual for your age), you might read about male fertility, and avoid carrying your cell phone near your testes. In the long run, masturbating frequently is good for your sperm production.

My penis is swollen after I masturbate. Is this normal? (age 12)

It is normal in younger males for the penis to remain erect for a while after ejaculation. If you mean the skin is affected, then that is not normal, and you are probably using too much force.

I'm 20 and I didn't masturbate at all in my life because I don't like it. I'm having wet dreams from the age of 16 or 17 about once or twice a month. When I masturbate, I'm not able to produce that fluid. Would it be better to have sex to produce it by myself rather than having wet dreams? (age 20)

Your question is full of contradictions. You say you didn't masturbate at all (which I don't believe) and then add that you don't like it. How do you know if you never did it? Then you say "when I masturbate..." indicating that you do, in fact, masturbate. It would be better to produce the fluid by yourself by masturbating frequently rather than either having wet dreams or using a sex partner to do what you should be doing (and I believe you are doing) yourself.

I have been masturbating for 3 years but my penis is still the same size it has been for as long as I can remember. Is this normal? (age 15)

Most guys say their penis has grown between 12 and 15, but if yours hasn't, it isn't because of masturbating. Males of all ages and all penis sizes enjoy masturbating.

Is it weird that pictures showing female private parts do not turn me on that much (I am straight) but swimsuit photos do more OFTEN? (age 15)

No, I don't think that's weird at all. You're used to seeing attractive girls in swimsuits and you're unfamiliar with naked women. Keep enjoying those swimsuit photos. I suspect you'll be wanting to see more soon.

I have been masturbating lately with the use of porn and I found myself ejaculating in around 5 minutes. I tried to masturbate without porn in hot shower but found trouble even achieving an erection. Do I need to seek medical attention? (age 17)

You don't need medical attention. It is normal to masturbate to orgasm at your age in about 5 minutes. It is normal for a male who ordinarily uses visual aids to take longer to masturbate to orgasm without them. And many males who don't often masturbate in the shower have trouble masturbating there.

Are wet dreams good or bad? (age 26)

Wet dreams are neither good nor bad. They're a sign of healthy sexual functioning, but at the same time, they reveal that the person who has them isn't ejaculating often enough. At your age, I would say they are more bad than good and if you have them, you should masturbate frequently and the wet dreams will probably stop forever.

I am 25, I have wet dreams about 3-4 times in a month, I never masturbate. On several occasions I have tried to masturbate, I thought about something sexy and my penis erected, then I pushed and pulled my penis for 3-4 mins but I didn't enter into orgasm! Is there any problem with me?

I am inclined to disbelieve you, but taking what you wrote at face value, the only problem I see is that you are unable to masturbate to orgasm. Nearly all males stroke the penis by loosely holding it with one hand. Most of the time it takes 5-10 minutes of stroking to have an orgasm. Why not work on learning to masturbate?

I am projected to be a late bloomer. How long do you think it will be before I can ejaculate when I masturbate? (age 12)

That would be a good question to ask whoever made this projection. My projection is that you will be ejaculating before age 14.

I am 22 and I have been masturbating for about 7 years. I'm left-handed so by now my penis curves a bit to the left. If I start using my right hand, how long should it take to get my penis more symmetrical? Or is it stuck this way by this point? Any help is greatly appreciated.

I would urge you not to worry about this. It is unlikely to have been curved by masturbating with one hand. Most males masturbate with only one hand. Few are perfectly straight. Not all curve with the angle your theory would predict.

I masturbate at least once a day and I am afraid of getting caught. I haven't got a lock on my door or any privacy. What should I do? (age 12)

Most guys in your situation either masturbate in the bathroom or do most of their masturbating at bedtime, when it's dark. I think as you get experienced, you'll become less worried about being caught. Your chances of getting discovered during any one masturbation session are pretty small.

I have been masturbating since I was 12. I was at a friend's house with 10 guys and only I and another guy admitted to masturbating. Were they telling the truth? Or were they busy lying? (age 14)

You don't say how old the guys were, but I'll assume they were all 14 too. According to a survey of over 10,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, 78 percent of males started masturbating by their 14th birthdays, and another 12 percent started at age 14. This means that out of 11 guys, it is most likely that nine masturbate and only two don't. What you report is the exact opposite. So I'm inclined to believe that most of them were lying.

If I go from masturbating every day for the past several years to suddenly going cold turkey on masturbation, will there be any medical risk to my health? (age 17)

I don't think you could quit masturbating if you wanted to, but if you did, you would be putting your prostate at risk. Most prostatitis is caused by not ejaculating often enough. If your prostate has gotten used to emptying every day, then going a few weeks without it will make it quite unhappy. It is better if you accepted masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

I have like bumps around my meatus. I'm a 14 year old virgin. What could it be and are there any cures?

They could be pearly penile papules, but it would be a good idea to have a doctor check them out. Any unexplained growth could be a sign of something bad.

I gave my boyfriend a hand job for the first time the other day and I couldn't get him to ejaculate. He had to finish himself. I feel so badly about it. Do you think he minds my inexperience? (age 17)

I doubt he minds your inexperience, but it would be good if you could learn how he likes it. I hope you were watching while he finished himself. Perhaps he could take your hand and move it up and down the way he likes it.

Older questions from males

ANNOUNCEMENT

It will be a while before there is a long survey for males. In the meantime, I have posted some quick surveys (no more than 4-5 questions) and these will be changed every few days. Click the link on the male survey page and come back frequently to take new quick surveys.

This page updated January 31, 2012. The author has a large backlog of older questions that are not yet answered.

New quick survey questions for males!

Attention guys!

If the question you asked isn't answered here, it might be on the TMS comments page

Many older questions have been moved to one of these topic pages:

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HealthyStrokes.com is not designed to provide medical advice and does not provide medical advice. All material is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on HealthyStrokes.com carefully and confer with your doctor, psychologist, or other health care professional as needed.