... a site about masturbation and you!

Many older questions from female readers have been moved to one of these topic pages:

When I'm in the bathtub, I love the feeling of the water hitting my clit, but it hurts when I do it for a long time. How can stay in the tub for a long time and masturbate? (age 12)

The clitoris is very sensitive. It hurts after too much stimulation. That's why I advise girls (and guys) to touch the area around it. When it hurts, that's when your fun has to come to an end.

I've masturbated only once but I was afraid because I though I could get pregnant. I was afraid I would have something on my fingers that would make me pregnant. I also avoid doing it after I have my period because I was afraid I could get pregnant can this happen? (age 14)

Masturbating by yourself cannot make you pregnant, no matter what time of the month it is. The danger comes when you are with a male and his sexual fluids get on your fingers or his and then come in contact with your genitals.

Do you have tips on how to masturbate around the clit? (age 16)

Not having one myself, I rely on what I hear from women. Many avoid touching the clitoris directly, preferring to stimulate the area around it and only brush lightly against the clitoris. It's analogous to what I tell males to stimulate the shaft and frenulum and stay away from the head of the penis.

I have been doing Kegal exercises for a year now and they are helping relieve pressure when I urinate. Web sites say the earlier you start doing these exercises the better. Should my 11 year old daughter start? (age 46)

No. I've never heard of anyone that young needing them. Most women don't start until they're over 30. It might be inadvisable to bring it up until she's older.

I've been masturbating for a long time now but only externally. Could external masturbation break my hymen? Do all women bleed when they break their hymens? (age 18)

External masturbation is unlikely to break the hymen, but by your age a lot of things that could have broken it. Bleeding is a necessary consequence of the destruction of the hymen, but it could happen over such a long time that one might not notice.

I have been masturbating for about 3 or 4 years. I got my period when I was 11, and have been using tampons since I was 12 or 13. How do I know if my hymen is still intact? I have inserted things into my vagina. Could you tell me if my hymen is still intact or not? (age 14)

You could look with a mirror to see how big the opening is. If you are using tampons and masturbating with objects, your hymen has broken at least enough to accommodate the tampons and objects. It could be there is only a little left. But part of your hymen is apt to remain until you have delivered your first baby. Of course, you are a virgin until you have intercourse regardless of how much of your hymen is left.

I bleed heavily when I masturbate. After that, I take a shower and the bleeding stops. Is something wrong? I'm too embarrassed to tell my parents. What should I do? (age 16)

It sounds like you're eroding your hymen little by little, which is no problem. Or, you could be doing something to permanent tissue that's causing the bleeding. You might take it a little easier until the situation is under control.

Why does it hurt so much when I masturbate even if I only insert one finger? Am I even doing it in the right place? (age 13)

You might work on your external genitalia until your vagina loosens up. If you go inside, make sure you're going for the vagina, not the urethra (where urine comes out, above the vagina).

Can female masturbation cause hair loss? I've masturbated most every day for the past year, and I'm losing hair strands. Can you please tell me if its from over masturbation? (age 17)

No, it's not due to masturbation.

I've found that every time I masturbate or am having oral with a guy I feel like I need to go to the toilet but nothing actually comes out. Is this normal?

I've been masturbating for quite a while but I'm still technically a virgin I haven't had vaginal penetration. I masturbate with objects and I don't know if my hymen's broken. But how thick is the average penis - I just need to know this so I don't go overboard. (age 19)

It's normal for males to have to urinate after ejaculating, but I've never heard this from a female. It might be a conditioned response. Just stay away from the toilet for a while and you can un-condition yourself. If you've been masturbating with objects for a long time, there's probably not much left of your hymen. The average penis is about four inches in circumference.

When I masturbate I have a gap in my periods for about 2 or 3 months and after masturbating I feel weak. I am doing this for years. Is the period gap due to masturbating? (age 24)


I am so tight I cannot fit even a super-slim tampon in my vagina. I also love to masturbate and I want to try internal masturbation but I can't even get one finger in without it hurting. What can I do? (age 14)

It might be a condition called vaginismus, but it might be just your youthfulness. Just relax and work on the vaginal opening. Don't try to insert anything completely. Simply try to relax the opening and make progress a little at a time.

Does masturbation tear the hymen? I don't insert things, only scrub and stimulate with fingers. (age 21)

Yes, it does. Masturbating will erode the hymen over a period of time, even if objects are not used. Very few women your age have much left of their hymens.

How is that even possible to insert BOTH hands into the vagina. Mine is just too small. (age 14)

You shouldn't believe everything readers write. I don't.

I'm really concerned if a doctor can tell if I've had sex or not. PLEASE HELP!!! (age 17)

When a doctor examines a female's genitals, he or she can estimate whether she's had sex or not. The more sex she's had, the easier it is for the doctor. If she's only had sex once or twice, the doctor might not know. The genitals of a virgin female who masturbates with objects might look like those of a sexually experienced female in some ways.

My boyfriend performed manual intercourse on me and everything felt good but I started to bleed and I didn't even notice until I saw it. What could this be? (age 18)

It's probably erosion of your hymen. That's normal.

Like the overwhelming majority of women, my clitoral hood has never been amputated. So when I masturbate by rubbing my clitoris through its hood, I don't need any lube because I'm not directly rubbing my very, very sensitive clitoral head. Is it more common for circumcised males to use lube when they masturbate than uncircumcised males (because they still have the "hood" that protects the very sensitive head of their penis)? (age 19)

I think your theory is correct. The head of the penis is supposed to be an internal organ. For the uncircumcised male, masturbation frequently consists of rolling the foreskin back and forth over the head. Uncircumcised males have a natural lube on their head most of the time.

I recently started masturbating and massaging my clitoris. It gets bigger sometimes. Is this normal? Also, is it normal for me to have trouble putting my finger into my vagina? (age 13)

Yes, those are both normal, especially at your age.

I wake up in the morning and I have this wet stuff in my panties. It has a yellowish tint to it. It's kinda sticky. What is it?

It's vaginal discharge. It might be normal, or the result of a sexually transmitted disease. If you've been sexually active, you should see a doctor.

I masturbate about once every month. Recently I noticed that I bleed after masturbation. What should I do? It only hurt a bit and just went off after a while. (age 15)

You're probably eroding your hymen a little each time. It's nothing to worry about. You'd be done with the bleeding sooner if you masturbated more often.

How can I stretch my anus so that I can have sex with my b/f anally? Will it hurt more than vaginal sex and will I bleed? (age 16)

I recommend against anal sex highly. Yes, it will hurt, and you will probably bleed profusely. The anus and rectum are tight for a reason: To compact feces and hold them in place until it is convenient to expel them.

Does pubic hair continue to grow throughout life? I have been considering shaving just to see what it would be like and how it would feel. If I were to shave, would it all grow back? (age 14)


I have been masturbating since I was 11 and the other day while masturbating I started to bleed. I wasn't on my period so I might have broken my hymen because I just started to do internal masturbating. Is this even possible? Please help, I'm freaking out. (age 14)

Breaking your hymen would cause bleeding, and it's very possible you broke it if you just started to masturbate internally. Don't freak, this is very normal.

Is it OK to masturbate while having your period? (age 16)

Yes. A lot of females find masturbating helps relieve menstrual cramps.

If I have been masturbating externally, and haven't tried internal masturbation, do you think my hymen was already destroyed? (age 18)

If you haven't masturbated with objects or had intercourse, there is probably a lot left of your hymen. Tampons and vaginal exams can also erode it.

I'm always wet in my pubis, even when I am only the slightest bit aroused. It makes me self-conscious and I can't talk to anyone about it. What should I do? (age 15)

The overlubrication might go away as you mature. Most women with the problem wear a thin pad.

Can I check for myself if my hymen is still intact by using a mirror? And if I can see it, what does it look like? (age 20)

Yes, you would need to spread your legs frog style to get a clear view past your two sets of labia. A pre-teen girl would probably see a small hole and a shadowy area beyond. An older female would see a bigger hole and less shadow beyond. In an intact hymen, the hole would be smooth and regular, almost round. As you get older and your hymen experiences more, um, activity, the hole would be more jagged and irreglar. And if the hymen were gone or nearly so, all you'd see is the inside of the vagina.

How big is the average vagina? Would my boyfriend's 10 inch penis be too big? Will it rupture anything? (age 18)

If you're new to intercourse, 10 inches would be quite a shock. It's important that your boyfriend be very gentle when penetrating you. The average vagina is three inches long and four-fifths of an inch in diameter when not aroused. Like the penis, it expands during arousal. Then the average is about four inches long and close to two and a half inches in diameter.

I started masturbating a few years ago and about a month ago I inserted an object in my vagina. A few days later I started bleeding. Was it the start of my periods or my hymen? (age 14)

If you cut your hymen, it would bleed immediately.

I was sexually abused when I was about 3 or 4 and I went to counseling for it. I have been masturbating since then, and I was wondering if that is OK and if I would have lost my hymen? (age 14)

The hymen is not very important. Most girls lose theirs through masturbation or non-sexual activity. Until you've given birth, you probably have some left. I think it's very OK to masturbate.

How can I use my fingers to masturbate without hurting my hymen? (age 14)

If you insert anything into your vagina, it will inevitably erode your hymen. Masturbating externally will not damage your hymen, and that's how most girls masturbate anyway.

I want to know how to finger myself. I usually just rub my vagina with my hand or objects, but I want to take a step up. How do I finger myself and where is the clitoris? (age 14)

Most girls start with the clitoris and then start masturbating internally like you already do. The clitoris is just above the vaginal opening. If you part your outer labia, you should be able to see it at the top.

When I reach orgasm, sometimes it hurts and I should stop, but I don't want to. What is wrong? (age 14)

When you're about to have an orgasm, it's normal not to care if something hurts, or if the phone starts ringing, or if an alarm goes off. About the only thing people care about then is if someone comes into the room! It's not normal to hurt. You should figure out what's causing the pain and alter your masturbation so it doesn't hurt.

I am very worried because one of my labia is considerably longer than the other one and hangs down. I am worried that this is groos and will put guys off. I am also worried because when I insert my fingers into my vagina it feels extremely small and there is a large thing in it that I worry will prevent penatration. Should I also be worried that I am 18 and have never had any form of sexual contact?

Don't worry about any of that. By the time a male sees you naked, he won't change his mind about wanting sex with you because of your labia. Most people's pairs of things (ears, arms, kidneys) don't match perfectly. Your vagina will stretch to accomodate a partner, and even a baby's head. Most men would find your lack of sexual experience appealing.

I can orgasm through my hands and a vibrator, but it hurts to finger myself. What can I do to stop the pain? (I can do one finger but not two.) Also, where is the G spot exactly? (age 13)

Keep up with your hands, and maybe in a year or so it won't hurt to insert more fingers. I don't think you'll be exploring your G spot for a while. It's halfway up the vagina on the upper side.

Can a girl's vagina become "loose" due to frequent sex?

If by loose you mean not as tight, yes, I think the vaginas of virgins are tighter than those of sexually experienced women.

Follow-up: Then does that mean that the more sexual intercourse a female has, the more "loose" her vagina? And are there any ways to make it tight like a virgin again?

A woman who is experiencing intercourse frequently may notice that her vagina has become a little "looser." The vagina is an elastic organ. It can stretch to accomodate a baby's head and then return to very near it's original shape. But it will probably never be as tight as it was to begin with. Kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor and the surrounding muscles can help women be able to tighten the vaginal muscles and regain some of the elasticity that's been lost.

I have had my period for 3 years now. I have tried inserting a tampon, and it hurts. It also hurts when someone tries to finger me. I have to stop them. Could there be something wrong? (age 17)

That's fairly normal. Masturbating internally might help you learn to relax.

I am having problems masturbating externally. Any tips on how to find your clit? I went to many sites and some say its below the urethra, some say it's above. (age 12)

I wouldn't trust a site that says it's below the urethra, because it's above it. Of course, the clitoris is much easier to find than the urethra, except when you're urinating.

I've tried to masturbate but I can't find my clitoris. Can you help me? (age 12)

It's at the top of your vulva just underneath where the outer labia come together. You'll know when you've found it because it's very sensitive to touch. Most girls start by stroking the inner labia and the skin around the clitoris rather than touching it directly.

How do I know if my hymen has broken? Can I see it? I masturbate but only by rubbing. I never insert anything. (age 16)

Yes, you need a hand-held mirror. Sit frog style and part your labia as fully as you can and you should be able to see your hymen. If you don't insert objects while masturbating there's a good chance your hymen is fairly intact.

My vagina is so tight I don't get any sexual pleasure when I masturbate and I don't have my period yet! What's wrong with me? Where can I masturbate without my parents noticing me? They are very overprotective and would explode if they even knew I was thinking about masturbation. (age 15)

Try to obtain pleasure without going inside your vagina. That's what most girls do at your age. You should be able to masturbate in your bedroom privately. If not, how about the bathroom? You should ask your mother about your period.

I'm really scared to have sex when I'm older because I've heard that it hurts really bad when you break your hymen. Does it hurt? Will I bleed? Do all women have a hymen? How do I know if I have one? (age 13)

I think you should wait several years before you are ready to have sex and you will be less concerned about breaking your hymen. Many women say it hurts, but they also think it's worth it. You will definitely bleed, and you might bleed more than once as it often takes many incidents to get rid of your hymen completely. All females are born with hymens but most erode theirs through masturbation and other activity; relatively few break theirs by sexual intercourse. If you've never inserted anything into your vagina, you probably have an intact hymen. You can tell by looking in a mirror.

I was wondering if it is normal to have your period near the end of the month not the beginning. (age 14)

It's ordinarily a 28-day cycle -- often irregular in young females -- but it has little to do with the calendar.

When I was about 7, a family "friend" raped and fingered me. Can I get infected from just that? Now I'm scared. What if I can't have a baby? (age 18)

It's possible, but unlikely, to be infected from that. You can be tested for diseases and somewhat for fertility. You shouldn't worry about it so much. Think about nicer things.

If I masturbate during pregnancy, would there be something wrong with the baby?

Masturbation during pregnancy will not harm the baby. Masturbation during pregnancy is perfectly fine. In fact, many women find that they are quite easily aroused while, pregnant, due to the hormonal changes and the increased blood flow to the female pelvic region that occurs naturally during pregnancy. It's not uncommon for women to want sex more often, especially in the second trimester, and this, of course, includes masturbation. A healthy woman should feel free to enjoy all aspects of sexual activity while pregnant, unless told otherwise by her physician.

Is it true that some girls have naturally bigger and looser vaginal openings and can have sexual intercourse for the first time without feeling pain at all? I have a friend who's 15 and she said that her first sexual intercourse wasn't painful at all and that she did not experience any bleeding. Why is this so?

Females vary in the size and shape of all their parts. Some have bigger ears, etc. It's possible your friend was also an avid practitioner of masturbating with objects and using tampons, and other activities that would make her vagina more pliable for first-time sex and also erode her hymen so that there would be no bleeding. Or maybe she's just lying.

If I drink semen, will I get pregnant? (age 12)

No. The semen has to be introduced to your vagina for that to happen. Always wash your hands before touching your privates after handling semen.

I've just started masturbating, and I want to stretch my hymen before I have sex with my boyfriend. How long will it take for my hymen to stretch so when I have sex for the first time it won't hurt as much? (age 18)

Hymens don't stretch as much as they just tear and erode away. Masturbating with an object is apt to destroy your hymen fastest. The pain on first intercourse isn't principally caused by the hymen; it's a matter of your vagina not being used to penetration. Masturbating with an object can help with that too.

I can only masturbate in the shower. Anyplace else, I bleed. I know the bleeding is from tearing my hymen but I can't masturbate without inserting fingers. Could I be tearing my vaginal walls? What should I do? (age 14)

The shower isn't keeping you from bleeding; it's only keeping blood from accumulating on your fingers. Tearing your vagina would be quite painful and bring more than just a little blood. I don't think you'll have a hymen much longer. I would advise you to learn to masturbate without going inside. Then you'll have two ways to masturbate.

When I remove a tampon, there is a thin strand of skin wrapped around it and it is difficult to get out. Is this part of my hymen? (age 14)

It sounds like it.

When I was ten, I fell on the side of a wagon and hit the area between my legs hard enough that I started bleeding. When I get turned on now, I try to masturbate, but stroking my clit doesn't have much of an effect . I worry I may have damaged something, but my mom wouldn't let me switch doctors to an OB/GYN when I asked her, and I didn't really explain to her why I wanted to switch. Is it possible that I irreparably damaged something and will never have an orgasm? (age 17)

Possible but extremely unlikely. You're old enough to meet privately with the doctor and tell him or her your problem. Your doctor might refer you to an OB/GYN, but I think it's more likely you just need to relax more and enjoy masturbating without worrying about that old injury.

I got so horny when I first started waxing my whole pubic area. I could barely finish. I wanted to finger myself so bad. Being smooth turns me on so much! It feels so good! Is this normal? Is waxing everything off good or bad? (age 15)

Some girls do, and some girls don't. At least you know why you do.

I masturbate almost every day and lately I've noticed that when I first stick my finger in, there is white stuff around my clit. When I rub it off, it sticks together. When I stick my finger inside my vagina, it comes out and sticks together but it's wet. Is that normal and what is it? (age 13)

It's your own fluids that have dried there. If you shower or bathe daily, you might not ever get it accumulated like that.

I have been masturbating since age 16 and haven't stopped. When I masturbate, I don't leak urine. But I do almost every time I have intercourse. My partner is OK with it, but it has been happening since we first had intercourse, sometimes at orgasm or as soon as we start intercourse. I have had three bladder infections this year. (age 23)

You seem to be losing control during intercourse that you are able to retain while masturbating. It would help to become aware of how this is happening. It might also help to do Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles.

I have tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times and every time I have bled. My hymen should be stretched out, but I checked and it's still intact. I really want it to be gone so that sex won't hurt any more. Is this normal or should I have it looked at? (age 21)

It's very abnormal for you to have any hymen at all at your age, to say nothing of an intact one. Some women need to have theirs surgically removed. You should see a gynecologist.

My vulva hangs down. It looks gross. Can I make it any smaller? I'm really tight. Is there any way I can loosen myself up for when I'm ready for sex? (age 15)

I think you have to live with how your labia hang. I've never heard a guy express a preference. You're apt to be less tight as you get more experienced. I don't think either is a problem worth worrying about.

I recently tried to finger myself. While I had no problem getting two fingers inside, I had no orgasm and it seems like ever since my vagina has been itching and burning when I scratch it. Is it because I didn't use a lubricant or wet my fingers? Can it be because my hands might not have been clean? I want to have an orgasm through fingering myself, and it seems the only way I can is if I "hump" a pillow. (age 15)

It looks like you introduced something your vagina wasn't expecting by not cleaning your hands first. Most girls learn to masturbate by rubbing their external genitalia first and then move to the vagina. The stimulation you get from the pillow also is on your external parts.

I am able to fit a soda bottle into my vagina. Is this bad? My boyfriend can also fit his foot into my vagina. I am also worried about this. (age 18)

I'm worried about you now too. There's no reason to try to stretch your vagina out.

When I stick objects into my vagina I worry that I might damage my hymen. Will they damage it? I can stick a 14 inch cucumber into my vagina. Is this ok? (age 13)

I don't think there's anything left of your hymen after a cucumber that large. So you can stop worrying about that.

When I masturbate, I only rub my clit. I get a sensation, but I want more. I'm scared to finger myself. I want to do it but I'm scared I'll break my hymen. Any idea what I can do? (age 15)

The hymen will have to go sooner or later. You'll just have to decide how much longer you want to put off experimenting with internal masturbation.

I have been masturbating by rubbing and pushing my labia together and pushing them inward very hard. I have been doing this ever since I can remember and only found out four years ago that I was masturbating. I don't know if it is making me loose. I don't want to lose my hymen, will I? Is it unhealthy to be pushing my labia in so hard? I don't insert things into my vagina. (age 14)

Your hymen might already be gone if you have been doing this all these years. You don't need a hymen. Don't worry about it. I don't know if the pushing is unhealthy, but it's not how girls usually masturbate. You'd be better off learning to masturbate a conventional way.

Ever since I started masturbating, I have become increasingly wet and odorous when I'm NOT masturbating. I haven't masturbated for a few days, but I'm still wet. I'm only wet when I'm NOT masturbating. This is kind of strange, don't you think? (age 13)

It might not be a permanent pattern. Your body is going through a lot of changes and what you have noticed in your vagina might not be related to masturbating at all. It would be a good idea to bathe or shower daily to deal with the odor problem. You should only masturbate when you really want to and not merely to deal with the wetness.

This is a great site! I think my clit is too big. When I'm not excited it's not that visible but when I am excited it sticks out about 2 cm. Sometimes I like it though because if I'm wearing tight jeans, my clit rubs on the inside of my pants and I can have orgasms just by walking. (age 16)

I don't think you should worry that it's too big. You're able to be sexual in a way other females can't.

Is it OK to masturbate in the same room as a 1-month-old baby because when I babysit I masturbate in the same room because I figure she doesn't know what I'm doing. (age 16)

Much as I'd like to tell you it's OK, I think it's not. While you're correct that a newborn has no idea what you're doing, there will come a point when a child will realize that something is going on. In order to spare yourself from having to study the development of the children in your care, it's better if you make a rule that you won't masturbate (or expose yourself) in front of them at any age.

Can external masturbation hurt my hymen? (age 13)


I'm embarrassed to say this, but I'm afraid to put my fingers up there let alone touch around there, should I start slowly or something? Also, I can't ask my mom for a vibrator because she would freak! I want to try this stuff but I'm a little scared. Also, during sex, should it hurt once the penis is inside you? Please help me! (age 15)

You don't have to masturbate internally until you're comfortable with it. Slow is very good. You don't need a vibrator to enjoy yourself. The first few acts of intercourse hurt for a lot of females. Masturbating internally for a few years beforehand makes it easier.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year . We just started having sex. Everytime I get excited or moist this funny smell comes from me. The smell is very embarrassing and uncomfortable. I mantain myself clean but that doesn't seem to be enough. What can I do? (age 16)

Could you be more specific about what you mean by a funny smell? If you are maintaining good hygiene, you shouldn't have any strong odors. A fishy smell, along with a thin, greenish-yellow discharge can indicate a vaginal infection like vaginitis or chlamydia. Though some people find the smell of normal vaginal discharge unpleasant, it shouldn't be highly offensive. You may want to talk to your doctor.

I masturbate at least every day. I've been reading what people put on your web site, and a lot of girls stick objects into their vaginas. I've masturbated for a long time, but I have never tried this. Will it hurt me if I do? Could I get an infection from sticking an object up there (such as a marker or my finger)? (age 13)

It might hurt at first, but your vagina should get used to the sensation of a finger or an object inside. Your vagina has very good defenses, but it's not impossible for an infection to happen. It's a good idea to clean your hands and the objects before and after each use.

If someone were to stick an object into her vagina, where would she insert it? (age 13)

If you're not sure, perhaps you shouldn't be contemplating that act now. The vagina is the larger orifice at the lower end inside the vulva.

Does masturbation affect the vagina? Make it looser? (female, age 24)

For the most part, no, but in the case of a sexually inexperienced female, the vagina would accomodate sexual intercourse more readily if she's frequently masturbated using her vagina. Masturbating using implements larger than a penis are apt to make the vagina looser than if one were having penile intercourse alone. This might be a very subtle effect, as the vagina is designed to stretch and retract to accomodate what is put inside.

Should I shave my vulva? (age 13)

Some girls do, and some girls don't. One thing to consider is that if you shave, when the hair grows back, it's apt to be darker and thicker.

Is it safe to masturbate when I have my period? (age 13)


This is a follow-up to the question about where the word vagina came from. Vagina is a Latin word which means scabbard. (male, age 16)

But I said it meant sheath, or a holster, which is what a scabbard is. I stand uncorrected.

I am petite and when I put my fingers all the way into my vagina, I can touch my cervix. Is this normal? Does this mean that when I have sex the man's penis will be too long or hurt me when thrusting? (age 17)

The vagina can usually stretch to accomodate the penis, but you might find men with large penises uncomfortable. A careful lover is aware of his partner's depth and doesn't thrust as hard when he knows he might hurt her. Your best bet would be a man with an average or even small sized penis whom you can trust to be gentle. It sounds like you're a virgin and don't need to worry about this so much yet.

My boyfriend tried to enter me one day and he got a little bit in but all of a sudden I started to bleed really badly and after he stopped, it didnt bleed anymore. When I came home I looked down at my vulva in a mirror and I can't really say what I saw. Did I break my hymen? (age 16)

Probably. An unbroken hymen would look like a smooth ring. As it gets broken, it would appear more jagged. And when it's gone, you can see straight into your vagina.

I lost my virginity last week and had sex twice after that. The first time I bled a lot, but I also bled a little the last 2 times. Is there something wrong with me for bleeding again? Also, I got fingered last night and started bleeding. What's wrong with me and why do I keep bleeding after I lost my virginity? It's not my period so I dont know what it can be.

It's because your hymen was broken and keeps getting broken. There will probably be some bleeding every time until your hymen is completely gone.

Can masturbation affect hormonal changes? (age 25)


Recently my clitoris has been hurting. It's bigger than normal, and when I touch the side of it, it hurts. I haven't had any type of sex, so it can't be an STD or anything. I'm to afraid to ask my mom, because I don't want her to know that I masturbate.

It's too bad you can't talk to your mom, because she could be a good resource. You might just treat it like any other body part that hurts: Try to leave it alone for a few days and see if it gets better.

I am 15 I recently started masturbating almost on a daily basis, and I noticed that my menstrual period came about 5 days early every month for the past 3 months. Do you think masturbating often may have caused this? I heard that orgasms make your period come sooner. (age 15)

No. Masturbating and orgasms will have no effect on your period, although some females believe masturbation and orgasms relieve menstrual cramps. You should expect your period to be irregular at your age.

I masturbated for the first time today. When I pulled my fingers out, they had blood on them. It was just a little though and it didn't hurt at all. My fingernails are also kind of long. I'm wondering if I broke my hymen or was it something else? (age 18)

Congratulations! June 17 is now a memorable day for you! It was probably from your hymen, but sharp (not necessarily long) nails could also scratch something else.

I can't fit anything in my vagina. The largest thing I can fit is one finger. When I get very aroused, I can't fit a penis in. The entrance of my vagina just hurts. I've looked at my vagina in a mirror and there is a bit of flesh that covers half my vagina and hurts when I apply pressure on it. What is wrong with me? (age 17)

It might be you have an especially strong hymen that refuses to break. You should see your doctor about it.

I have never had sex, and if I masturbate with a vibrator, will my hymen break and bleed? (age 21)

If you insert it into your vagina, yes. If you use the vibrator externally, probably not.

Can masturbating externally cause your vagina to become loose or can masturbating internally cause you to become loose? (age 18)

External masturbation has little or no effect on your vagina. If by loose you mean more easily pliable, then I suppose a woman who masturbates internally regularly has a looser vagina than one who doesn't. But this same effect might be had by engaging in sexual intercourse.

At the weekend my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. We were both virgins and it hurt both of us. He didn't wear a condom and didn't fully penetrate me. I then bled very heavily into my bed covers. In the evening I went to his house and without warning I gushed blood onto the chair and floor. I sat on bath towels on the way home and the blood seeped through a sanitary towel, my knickers, the bath towels and into the car seat. I cleaned up, went to bed and in the morning the bleeding had stopped. My mum has accused me of having a miscarriage. I can't tell her that we only had sex for the first time on Saturday, because my boyfriend will be in trouble. Can you tell me what might have happened? I cannot talk to anyone. (age 16)

You might have ruptured something inside you. It would be a good idea to tell the truth so your mother can help you get the medical help you might need.

When I am on my period, I never do anything because my boyfriend doesn't want blood on his fingers, but I heard that when a girl is sexually aroused, her period stops. Is this true? If I got turned on first and then my boyfriend fingered me, would he not get blood on his fingers? (age 17)

Not true, and even if it were, the flow wouldn't stop instantly the minute you became aroused. Women have dried blood in their vaginas for a day or so after the flow stops.

How can you tell if you broke your hymen? I have been having sex for a while but I never bleed. Is cherry another word for hymen? (age 17)

If you've been having sex for a while, you've certainly broken it. You can verify by looking with a mirror. Yes, cherry means hymen.

What exactly is the G spot that everyone talks about? And why can't I get an orgasm from internal masturbation? (age 13)

I think it's because you're young and inexperienced. You might work on external masturbation first and only move on to internal when you've mastered masturbation externally. The G spot is a sensitive area on the upper surface of your vagina.

I masturbate and haven't had my period yet. Is this affecting my period? (age 13)


Just a comment about masturbating during menstruation. (I didn't see this mentioned.) I have always had really bad cramping during my period. Masturbating does relieve cramping. It's best to do it in the shower or over the toilet (or it could get messy.) I've done this forever and I read something just a few months ago in a medical book that orgasm helps with cramping because it helps move menstrual fluids, and the contractions involved are soothing. (age 23)

Thank you for your insight.

When I look at my genitals, I can see where my vaginal opening should be, but there doesn't seem to be any hole. Is my hymen covering it? I want to try internal masturbation but I'm not sure how because I can't see where to put my fingers. (age 17)

An intact hymen would tend to block the opening, but you ought to be able to figure it out. Perhaps feel around while looking with a mirror.

I had my period and wanted to go swimming so I tried a tampon. It hurt very badly! I took it out and that hurt too. Then I bled a little heavier. Have I broken my hymen? Is the hymen visible? How do you know if you broke it? (age 13)

The heavier bleeding isn't necessarily from the hymen. You can look at your hymen with a mirror. If it's unbroken, the opening in it will look like a ring.

First I would just like to say thank you because I think this site is brilliant. Before I read this site, I was somewhat reluctant to masturbate. I'm not sure why, but once I read your site, I felt more comfortable doing so. When my boyfriend gave me pleasure with his hand for the first time, I bled a bit, and I am wondering if I will bleed when I first have sex? (age 15)

There's a good chance you will.

I have masturbated internally quite a lot before but I have never bled from it. I have obviously broken my hymen, but will I definitely bleed from breaking it? (age 13)

Yes, but simple breakage might result in just a trace of bleeding. As the hymen erodes, it will continue to bleed.

I masturbate rubbing my clitoris and I always get an orgasm, but I'm scared that I wont be able to fit a penis up there. I've started my periods but I haven't tried a tampon yet because I'm too scared it won't fit because once I gently pushed my finger up there and it didn't go far and it felt like there was a lot of skin and muscle blocking it. I know what the hymen is but I'm worried that I may have somthing wrong up there. (age 13)

I don't think you need to worry. You don't need to use tampons at your age. In fact, most authorities would prefer you didn't. When the time comes to "fit a penis up there," which I hope will be a long time from now, it will fit OK. If you can masturbate to orgasm every time at your age, you're doing very well in that department. Congratulations!

This site is wonderful! I masturbate 2 or 3 times in a week and I'm too skinny. Is masturbating the reason why? (age 20)

No. Masturbating burns a few calories, but I doubt it makes a difference in your weight. Enjoy your thinness while you can. There is apt to come a time in your life when you won't be so thin.

Is it true we masturbate so we can lose our eggs? (age 18)

No. Masturbation has no impact on ovulation.

In a question about anal sex, you said this: "Anal sex is very bad for the anus and rectum and can lead to their non-functioning. " When people rely on you for a source of information, it's wrong to say something like that that's just not true. When both parties are careful, there is nothing bad about anal sex and no risk of damage. There is only a risk of damage when they're not careful, but that is also the case for vaginal sex and oral sex. (age 18)

I stand by my answer. You can hurt yourself in other kinds of sex, or in what is often perfectly healthy activity. My position on anal sex is that it is contrary to what the anus and rectum are designed to do (i.e., retain feces). Chronic anal sex does indeed lead to the non-functioning of those organs. Many gay men choose not to participate in anal sex for exactly that reason. The gay community is more aware of the risks of anal sex because so many more people in that community have been malaffected by anal sex than straight people.

I am just flat as a board. My hormones never developed. I am so flat that I am using the same bras that I used when I was 11. What should I do? (age 19)

You need to see a doctor. He or she will probably refer you to an endocrinologist for a full hormonal screening. If your hormones are OK, you can consider whether plastic surgery would be right for you. Does it help to tell you that some men like small chests?

Your site has really been educational. I have always been told that masturbating feels really good, but whenever I touch myself, I get a mildly good feeling at first, but if I continue, it goes away very quickly. Should I masturbate? Is it good for me in any way? I feel like by this age I should masturbate and should have had an orgasm by now. Also, I get clear liquid in my underwear all the time, but I really don't think it's from being aroused, because I don't think about sex or masturbating very often. Do you know what it is or what it's from? (age 15)

It's probably either Bartholin's gland fluid or vaginal lubricant, which have to be discharged periodically whether you're aroused or not. I think you just need to focus more on the feelings you get while you're masturbating. If one spot doesn't feel good for very long, try to find another spot that does. Whether you masturbate is up to you, but I think orgasms are good for you, and many females claim masturbating reduces menstrual cramps. Lots of girls your age haven't started masturbating yet, and many who have don't have orgasms. You shouldn't worry about that, and instead just try to find out what pleases you.

Does it hurt when you lose your virginity? (age 12)

For some females, it does. It helps to have a gentle partner who cares about what you're feeling.

Is having a septate hymen bad? Will it hurt more when I am ready to have sex? (age 14)

Why do you think you have a septate hymen? It shouldn't hurt any more than a regular one. It might even hurt less.

I have masturbated in the past almost every day or every other day, and it was getting to the point where I was feeling gross and didn't want to do it anymore, so I would stop for about 2 or 3 months and then want to do it again. I would never stick anything in my vagina. I just rubbed around the clit and stuff. But my periods are becoming irregular and I am worried that something is wrong with my female organs or something. Is it normal for you to have irregular periods, and can masturbation lead to harm of the female anatomy? Please help! I'm really scared! (age 16)

Irregular periods are quite normal for your age. You might be 20 before your periods become regular. And some women always have occasional irregular periods. Extremes in masturbation or anything else can harm the body, but the masturbation you describe is very unlikely to cause damage. I don't think you have anything to worry about. And masturbation isn't gross. You should enjoy it.

I've been masturbating for several years now, but in the last few months or so I've been getting a throbbing sensation in the outer vaginal area after I reach orgasm. It's not painful or anything, but it's a little strange to me. Could this have anything to do with having a baby recently? Is it even normal? (age 19)

It could be a change in nerves or blood drainage as a result of the birth. It might go away after a while. If it's not painful, it probably doesn't need immediate attention, but it might be something to mention to your OB/GYN at your next visit.

How do I know if I need surgery on my hymen? I find it very hard to put in tampons. (age 16)

I've never heard of someone having hymen surgery to make tampons easier to use. You might grin and bear it until you become sexually experienced. If you have trouble then, that's when females seek a surgical solution.

I am pregnant and am wondering if masturbating will hurt the baby.

External masturbation could not hurt the baby. Even masturbating internally, you'd have to be thrusting objects in hard enough to hurt yourself to harm the baby.

I have a separate hymen, and though I lost my virginity when I was 11, my hymen broke in the middle, but the two pieces that were created are still there, and sometimes get in the way. Is this normal and is there anything I can do about it? (age 17)

Do you mean a septate hymen? The remnants of the hymen will go away as you become more sexually experienced. If it really bothers you, a doctor can surgically remove the hymen.

When I finger myself, I can touch my cervix. My finger is 4 inches long. Does this mean I will only be able to accomodate small penises? (age 16)

No. The average vagina is about 4 inches deep.

I want to commend you on your knowledge of female anatomy and the like, being that you're male. My inner labia hang out and are especially visible when I'm aroused. Do they hang out because I've been masturbating for so long (since age 9)? I only started internally masturbating in the past year. Is this why it hangs out? Are you sure that it doesn't look repulsive? I'm afraid to be seen naked mostly because of this. (age 16)

It's not caused by masturbating. By having labia that become more visible when you're aroused, you actually have a way of showing a partner how aroused you are that many other women can't. I've never heard of a man rejecting a woman because of her labia. Don't worry about it.

You said using a shower head for orgasm is not the same as in intercourse, but could it hurt you? I started masturbating last year and figured out where my vagina was. I tried using things such as a hairbrush handle, hair curler (not on of course), ice cream scoop, etc. I was wondering if that would make my vagina significantly bigger because I use tampons when I go swimming and my mom got me the ultra-thin ones, and I'm worried my vagina got bigger so that I'll need a thicker tampon, but of course, I don't want my mom to find out because she'd wonder how it got bigger?

I doubt that masturbating with objects would stretch your vagina to the point that a tampon, even a small one, wouldn't fit. Of course, most women use conventional sized ones anyway, so I don't think anyone would think it strange you're switching to those. When you keep things from people, they tend to assume the reasons are worse than you are. If your mom did learn that you need bigger tampons, she'd probably be relieved to know it's because you're masturbating and not because you're having sex. A shower head is capable of delivering a lot of force, and it can indeed hurt a sensitive body part. Always be careful.

Sometimes after I masturbate, I get an achy feeling just below my bikini line. Is this normal? I also get a weird reddish splotchy rash for a few minutes after I reach orgasm. Is this normal? (age 14)

The rash is called sex flush. It is normal. Be mindful that some people might be able to figure out what you've been doing by the color of your face. The ache is probably due to blood congestion in your pelvic region and means that you didn't have the kind of orgasm that would cause the blood to drain efficiently. It might help to masturbate again.

According to an Internet rumor, men have fantasies about watching women masturbate. In real life, isn't it incredibly boring? (age 17)

No. I think that rumor got started by men who enjoy watching women masturbate.

I lost my virginity to my ex-boyfriend when I was 18. It took a lot for me to have sex with him; all of my friends had lost their virginity, and I got laughed at for being a virgin when truthfully, I was scared of catching some weirdo disease. Anyway, we broke up a year ago, and I haven't had sex since then. He's the only person I've slept with. I feel so stupid for sleeping with him, because now I wish I had just waited for marriage. I am now chaste, and I am going to wait until I'm married to have sex again (it's just a personal preference). Do you thing it's wrong for me to pretend that I'm a virgin, considering I'll probably be about as tight as one? Also, is there any ay to tighten the vagina? What is your opinion of women who aren't virgins when they get married? (age 22)

I think it's wrong to lie about being or not being a virgin. Not very many men are going to be looking for a virgin. Having surgery to tighten your vagina is not something you should want, if it can be done. You should just be honest and open with your next prospective partner about what you want in terms of a sexual timetable.

I haven't started my period yet, but today while I was masturbating, I started bleeding. How do I tell if my hymen broke or if I've finally started my period? (age 13)

Bleeding that results from masturbation is apt to be very sparse and only last for a little bit. Menstrual bleeding lasts several days and can be quite copious.

How can a doctor, just by viewing female genitalia, tell if she's had sex or not? Does the vagina look any different? I never have been able to understand how someone can estimate whether or not you've had sex just by looking in your vagina. (age 22)

Doctors look at a lot of body parts and can make judgments about what the person does with them. In the case of a woman who's given birth, the doctor would have no doubt. In the case of a woman who's been sexually active for 10 years, I think the doctor could tell she's had sex. In the case of a female who's only had a little bit of sex, maybe, maybe not. If part of the hymen is left, doctors can make estimates based on how much wear there is to it and in what position on the hymen. It isn't an exact science, but most doctors could estimate reasonably correctly with most females they examine.

I just had my second child and with both I had vaginal delivery and had to be cut. I was wondering if you could tell me if it is normal at the end of the labia to have a pinkish looking tissue that hangs out. When I masturbate, it's fine, but it dries up while having intercourse. Do you think they didn't sew me up all the way after delivery? (age 22)

There shouldn't be anything new hanging out. You should have that checked by your OB/GYN.

My girlfriend is a virgin and she has never had a sexual relationship, but she masturbates, and days ago she first put her finger into her vagina, but she didn't feel hurt and she didn't bleed. We were both surprised. She said she didn't think her hymen was already broken. Is there a possibility that her middle finger could enter deeply into her vagina without breaking her hymen? Because we really hope the hymen can be broken at the wedding night even we both know hymen is not a proof of virginity. (age 21)

The hymen does not completely cover the vaginal opening. But most women that age have already had major reduction in their hymens for non-sexual reasons. You ought not be disappointed or suspect your girlfriend of infidelity if she does not bleed the first time you have sex.

Last night I was masturbating internally and I started to bleed. It wasn't my period. It lasted for a while but then it stopped. What happened? (age 14)

You probably tore your hymen. That's normal when you start masturbating internally.

I have masturbated before and I have a bump on the bone above my genitals and is that because of sanitary reasons or could it be a tumor from cancer? I just got my period for the first time this week. It hurts when I press on it and I'm just very scared. (age 14)

It's probably just normal, but if it hurts, it would be a good idea to show it to a doctor or nurse practitioner.

I had sex for the first time last night and when I woke up, I was super dry, even on the inside. (age 19)

Vaginal dryness is best remedied with an over the counter lube. It's too soon to know if this will be a recurrent problem for you.

I masturbate externally, so I was wondering if I still have any hymen left and if I do, how exactly is it supposed to look. Can it be smooth with an oval shape or should it only be round in shape? I am getting married very soon and my fiance puts a lot of importance on this. He probably wants me to bleed the first time we have sex. (age 18)

If you masturbate externally, the wear to your hymen is probably minimal. You can take a look at the hymen gallery on this site for an idea. Be sure your fiance understands he's marrying a woman and not a hymen.

As I have a septate hymen, I find masturbating to be a chore. I am able to insert my smallest finger into my vagina, and sometimes another finger. Although with such a small space to work in, I rarely gain any pleasure and constantly have to revert to clitoral stimulation for a source of pleasure. As my hymen is considerably thick, I feel wearing it down will take several months, perhaps years to achieve. Is there any possible method to speed up this process, or at least make vaginal stimulation more pleasurable for me? (age 14)

The doctor who diagnosed your septate hymen could remove it. A septate hymen isn't necessarily a sclerotic (rigid) one. Most women get more pleasure from clitoral stimulation anyway. Don't give up at your age.

I have had sex with two guys, who had average sized penises for about a year and a half to two years. However, the other day I wanted to see what was left of my hymen. So I took a mirror and looked at it, only to find a lot of it still intact. There was a tiny hole at the bottom surface, and the rest was covered with a pink, fleshy tissue looking thing. Was this actually my hymen? If so, why is it that I have so much left, after all the sex I've had? (age 21)

You're probably seeing more than hymen. You might not have had your inner labia all the way apart, in which case you could easily be fooled about what you're seeing.

The water from a water pump in the toilet hit my vagina hard, but I found only one drop of blood. My period was over 4 days before this. Did I pierce my hymen, and if so, would blood come out if I had intercourse, or it is the period left over? (age 23)

It is kind of farfetched to believe that water from a toilet could damage your hymen. I think it was some stray blood from your period.

Before I started dating my current boyfriend, I was a virgin. I hadn't even been fingered and I never used tampons. My vagina was extremely tight. Now I can get three fingers in, but with a lot of pain. No matter what my boyfriend does, we can't get my hymen to tear. The opening is just too small and my boyfriend is way too large. I feel like someone is stabbing me. Also, every time I masturbate I feel like I have to urinate. I can't orgasm sometimes unless I urinate before I masturbate. (age 19)

I think you need surgery to remove your hymen. It's normal to have to urinate after you masturbate, and it sometimes help to do so beforehand, because having a full bladder can make one very distracted and unable to orgasm.

I just masturbated with a vibrator externally, and afterward a little blood came out. It's nowhere near my period. Is it possible that I could have damaged my hymen just from external masturbation? (age 20)

It's unlikely. There are other parts that can bleed too. If it's just a little, it's probably nothing to worry about.

I think I've damaged my nipples permanently. I like to rub them with my hands or other objects while I masturbate, but now they're cracked and a little red. I've stopped masturbating for about 2 months but they're still the same. What can I do? (age 21)

You didn't damage them permanently. There's no reason to quit masturbating. If they get irritated, you can put lotion on them. There's even a brand called Udder Cream that's great for nipples.

When I massage my clitoris, my right inner thigh and leg twitch in conjunction. Have you heard of other women who have this problem? I have studied anatomy, and I know there are similiar nerve roots that serve both. It's a problem because it's fatiguing for me to use clitoral stimulation, and I usually give up before reaching orgasm. Is there anything I can do about it? (age 24)

My female correspondent advises: "You need a really good medical specialist. I recommend you go online and check out the nearest university hospital and do a search in the obstetrics/gynecologic departments, and look for someone who specializes in pelvic pain, or desire disorders. They would be the most informed, or at the very least, know where to refer you. It's important you follow through on this so you don't live a nonorgasmic life."

I fell off my bike onto the bar when I was 6 years old and bled at that time. In later years through sexual experience I never had any pain or bleeding. I understand that I may have broken my hymen when I was younger, but what does that mean?

The hymen is a thin fold of skin that partially covers the vaginal entrance. Breaking the hymen is the first step in this piece of skin disappearing forever.

I masturbate a lot, too much I guess, about once every day, sometimes twice. I was using a fingertip massager as a vibrator and I shot out some liquid. Can you tell me what the liquid is? (age 16)

It was probably some fluid from your Bartholin's gland. Some people think this is the rumored female ejaculation. And I don't think you masturbate too much.

I got my period last Wednesday and it ended on Friday. It normally lasts 3 days. I am virgin and I always masturbate externally but today after masturbating I bled a bit. I fear I've broken my hymen. I am very disturbed. (age 22)

It might have been from your period. You shouldn't be so upset about a broken hymen. Few women your age have unbroken ones. Not having a hymen doesn't mean you're not still a virgin.

I have hair coming up to my navel. Is that from masturbating? (age 14)

No. That's just your pattern of hair growth. Most girls remove any hair they don't want.

I had a lot of difficulty with tampons when I was younger because I had a septate hymen. When I was 22, I decided to have sex for the first time. I decided to break the hymen myself. Now I have the ends still remaining. I am able to have sex, but the ends are still an issue. I do not have sex regularly (every 6-12 months) and they are random. The other night when I did (after 9 months of nothing) I was in so much pain, it was horrible. I think that I still have a problem with the hymen. Is this possible? Also, I cannot give myself an orgasm, nor can any male. The only way I get one is with a vibrator. Any advice? (age 28)

You ought to start by going to an OB/GYN and explaining the hymen problem. He or she can examine your vagina and determine if your hymen is causing problems, and if so, remove it. I suggest taking your time while masturbating to find out what you can do with your hands to bring on an orgasm. Although I am generally opposed to vibrators, I would never tell you to stop using one if that's the only way you can have an orgasm.

I am a virgin and I want to see my hymen in a mirror. Could you please describe what color it is? My friends say it is white! (age 21)

You might look through the hymen gallery on this site. It's more likely to be light pink than white.

I was wondering how to actually determine the number of days between your period and ovulation and the ovulating days. I learned in school that if you run on a 28-day cycle with a 5-day period, you count 14 days from the first day of your period and that is that exact ovulating day. Then you say that the two days before and after are just as unsafe as the actual day of supposed ovulation. If you are using a (unsafe) calendar method, how do you determine this if number of menstruating days changes? (age 16)

The calendar and rhythm methods are very unsafe, especially when you're young and your menstrual periods can be erratic. Efforts to calibrate them more precisely are apt to lead to as much failure as merely counting 14. If you're sexually active, you need to use more reliable birth control.

I have not been a virgin since February of last year. Around the third time I had sex with my boyfriend, I bled, and I thought this to be my "cherry popping." We broke up and over a year later, I started going out with my current boyfriend. We never really have sex. He fingers me a lot. The first few months of this, I didn't bleed and things felt fine. But, about a month ago, he fingered me and the next day, I had some spotting. Every time he fingers me now, I bleed n the outside and the spot where he enters swell up. I went to my doctor and he did an examination and ran tests and he said everything was fine and that it was probably just my ovulation. But, it happens every time he fingers me. So, I was wondering if it could still be my hymen being eroded away every time he fingers me now and if so, why didn't I bleed all of the other times when he fingered me? (age 18)

If your doctor says you're fine, there's not much else I can add. But fingering doesn't do that much to the hymen, so it might be he's eroding it very slowly every time he goes in.

What happens to the lubrication that enters a woman's body and remains in there? (age 26)

It will run out eventually. The vagina is good at cleaning itself.

I really enjoy your site! I have been having a white liquid out of my vaginal area. This happens more often when I am cold, or when I wear tight pants. Why is this happening? (age 13)

I think it's normal. It's just more noticeable when it's cold or you wear tight pants.

I get extremely wet during foreplay. Every guy has commented on how wet I get! If they are commenting on it, I feel embarrassed. What is a normal amount of wetness, and is there anything I can do to limit how wet I can get without decreasing my pleasure? (age 20)

It's better to be too wet than not wet enough. I think it's a good thing. You might try keeping a rag handy for mopping up.

Does "popping the cherry" mean to break the hymen? (age 14)

It means to lose one's virginity regardless of whether or not the hymen was unbroken.

How do you know if you ripped your hymen or started your period? How much bleeding is involved with a ripped hymen? (age 16)

Bleeding from the hymen can vary. Some females have more vascular structure (blood vessels) in their hymens than others. It is likely to only be a small amount of bleeding and only bleed for a short time. By your age, you should have an idea of how much bleeding to expect with your period. The best solution might be to examine your hymen with a mirror or two.

Is it possible for a man's penis to be so big that it can get stuck in a full grown woman's vagina?

I don't think "stuck" is the correct word, but some vaginas are so small that many penises would make them uncomfortable in penetration. However, the vagina is designed to stretch to accomodate a baby's head, so any penis ought to fit any vagina if the male is patient and the female is willing to work at expanding her limits.

I love your site. During sex, I seem to lose my own natural lubrication pretty quickly. I can only stay wet for about 15 minutes before I turn completely dry. We've tried K-Y Jelly and it didn't help. We've tried saliva and it didn't help. What can I do about this? (age 21)

There are other lubes you could try, such as Astroglide or K-Y Liquid. There are other lubes made by K-Y that are specifically for vaginal dryness. Don't give up on lubes after you've only tried one.

I have masturbated perhaps twice a year since my teens but only externally. Does that mean I have broken my hymen? Is there any way I can check it myself? This is very important for me to know because I have to make sure my hymen is intact! (age 20)

If you have only masturbated externally, then there is probably no damage to your hymen. You can examine it yourself with a mirror or two.

I have recently discovered that I can have very strong orgasms if I insert a dildo into my vagina as far as I can, to the point where it touches my cervix and I feel a slight pain (strong pain if I push harder). I move it rhythmically on the cervix while holding a vibrator against my clitoris. When I come I feel very strong contractions deep inside and it is the most pleasurable feeling I have ever experienced. I enjoy this about 2-3 times a week but I worry that there is some danger in pressing the cervix hard like this. Do you think it is OK? Do many women do it like this? (age 21)

My female correspondent advises: "I'm not a medical doctor so I can't address the question of cervical damage. It does sound like you're stimulating your G Spot, which is probably more likely the cause of the intense orgasms -- not the roughness of stimulating the cervix. I suggest you bring this up with your doctor during your next annual exam. Be assertive in getting an answer. Many OB/GYNs are not comfortable discussing sexual matters. They're getting better but they aren't where they need to be on this."

I masturbate with water, using the shower head. I only do it about once a month. But the inside of my vulvar lips have turned a really light pink, like white, and the outside of the lips got a little darker. Is this because of the pressure of the water? Is this maybe something from my pads? I am not very open with my mother so I would perfer not to ask her. Thanks, Jessica (age 13)

Jessica, It might be a change related to puberty. I doubt doing something once a month would cause your vulvar lips to change color.

After examining myself with a mirror, I discovered that I have a septate hymen. Recently I decided to try internal masturbation, but as yet, I have not. Is there anything I should be concerned about? (age 17)

No. Just try to enjoy yourself. If the hymen causes problems, just work around it, and you can deal with it with a doctor before you have intercourse.

I read from somewhere that a clitoris can get desensitized from overstimulation by masturbation or dildos. They say it damages the nerves, which then decreases its sensitivity. Do you believe in this? (age 22)

I don't think it is really nerve damage, but there is definitely a connection to sexual responsiveness and recency of orgasm. It's kind of like how ears get "worn out" from listening to too much music; after a while, you just don't feel like it anymore. You will be more sensitive after a period of abstinence.

Your site is so great! I've got to hand it to you, you've done a good thing. This site helps a lot of people with their problems. Why do girls get "wet" when aroused, even when there is no man nearby? My friends are beginning to use dildos and have asked me if I want to try. I said no, because I don't want anything inside me. I'll stick with my fingers externally, but would a dildo be better? (age 13)

Wetness is the body's way of lubricating the vagina for what might be coming, even when it isn't, just as a boy getting hard is the body's way of preparing him for what might be happening, even when it isn't. Fingers are much better for you than dildos.

I've been externally masturbating for a long time, and I've read this whole site through, and I'm concerned that I'm never going to be able to have sex, or that there's something wrong because my hymen is completley closed and there is no opening at all. When I tried to put a tampon in once, I was too chicken to do it because I thought I would break it, but all that's there is flat skin and a raised area in the middle. Is there something wrong with me? (age 14)

You're a little young to have decided something is always going to be a particular way. The chances that you have an imperforate hymen are exceedingly rare; the doctor looks for that as soon as you're born. Just wait a year or so and then try to give tampons another chance.

I have a septate hymen and I think it might be hard. I looks exactly the same as the rest of the skin around it and is quite thick. I don't masturbate internally because I don't like it and I don't use tampons. I find sex far too painful to try for long, although the only times I have had sex have been when I really didn't want to. Will I have to have surgery to remove my hymen if it is tissue? Please help me as I can't ask anyone about this and I'm worried I'll never be able to have sex properly. (age 20)

It is not a big deal to have a sclerotic hymen removed. Your gynecologist can do it in her office. Before going that route, you might try to find a gentle and caring partner who will only want to have sex with you when you want to. It might be your hymen will be broken through normal intercourse and you won't need surgery.

If you want to break your hymen yourself, do you have to be turned on and lubricated first? Will it minimize the pain? I think I have a microperforate hymen which is proving difficult to break. When my boyfriend and I tried sex for the first time, I could feel it stretch and the pain was excruciating, but it didn't break. I really want it broken so that we can have sex properly. I feel ready and am in a good relationship. Can you tell me how to break it myself without having to visit the doctor? I have ridden my bike regularly for years, but it has never caused any damage to my hymen. (age 15)

Entry to the vagina might be easier if you are aroused and lubricated, but I don't think that has anything to do with the sensation of breaking the hymen. Riding a bike is unlikely to break your hymen. If you're having trouble with the hymen, it would be best to see a doctor, who can remove it as an in-office procedure.

Can painkillers be used beforehand when trying to break a tough hymen to reduce the pain? (age 15)

Painkillers can never prevent pain. If penetration is painful, you should see a doctor, who can remove the hymen surgically.

I am a 19 year old female and have been masturbating since 9. I have had hemorrhoids for some years now and I am quite convinced that it is because of masturbation. When I masturbate, it seems to be worse. I don't have any bleeding but I can't stand the hemorrhoids. I have no diet problems that may cause hemorrhoids however I would appreciate if you could tell me if masturbation could be blamed for this.

Vulvar masturbation obviously cannot cause hemorrhoids. If you are having hemorrhoid flareups, any movement in the anal region can cause them to be irritated. Orgasm causes anal contractions. The thing to do, obviously, is to eliminate the hemorrhoids. Barring that, you can consciously try to avoid the anal contractions when you have an orgasm.

I'm really concerned that I'm flat as a board! I've been like this since I was 12 and I really haven't grown much since! My chest still hurts a bit when being pressed! Is there any problem? (age 21)

You might have to live with being the size you are. The chest is supposed to be sensitive to pressure. If you're very self-conscious about your size, you might experiment with bra inserts ("falsies") and see how you like the sensation of being bigger.

When a clitoris is so sensitive to the touch and it feels numb even after 12 hours, what does that mean? (age 25)

I think you overdid it. Just be more careful in the future and perhaps give it some extra rest.

I wanted to see if my hymen was still intact after dance one night where I did the splits numerous times and had a stingy sensation around my vaginal area. I did not find any blood or a clear view into my vaginal opening, but merely some tissue covering where I insert my tampons. This tissue did not at all resemble the diagram of a hymen I saw. I used a mirror to look for my hymen so I know I was looking in the right place. Every other part of my anatomy was like the ones in diagrams. Is something wrong with me? Awesome site too!

The tissue you saw is probably your hymen. It doesn't always look like what you see in the hymen drawing on this site. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

I started masturbating when I was very young, but I have noticed a large lump about an inch inside my vagina that is like a marble. I couldnt bear to go to a doctor because he would want to know how I noticed. I'm really worried and I've started to get a stabbing pain in my stomach. (age 14)

I think you should see a doctor ASAP. Any lump should be taken with extreme seriousness. The doctor will not ask how you noticed it. Even if he does, you don't have to tell him you were masturbating. There is no reason to be embarrassed; the doctor masturbates too.

I'm a very scared and confused 14-year-old. I wasn't really sure what a hymen looked like, so I looked at some pictures. I took a mirror and searched myself but my vaginal entrance was not similar to the pictures. My clitoris was similar, but I have some weird membrane with a small hole but did not at all resemble the hymen in the drawing. I have been using large-ish tampons for a while but I am sure I have never ruptured my hymen. I don't masturbate, I am a virgin and have never been fingered. Should I get checked out by a doctor?

There is a lot of variation in hymen appearance, even at your age. Some look like weird membranes with small holes. The illustrations on this site mostly show rare varieties of hymens, while actual photographs are generally of women much older than you with little or no hymen left. I doubt there's anything wrong with you that a doctor could diagnose.

When I was about 9 I fell on a piece of climbing apparatus which caused some bleeding down below. Could this have been part of my hymen breaking? Also, since I have read this site and heard about prone masturbation, I think that when I was younger I may have masturbated in that way. I remember squeezing my legs together hard and pushing the labia together hard. I remember thinking it felt nice but am fairly certain I never went as far as having an orgasm. I occasionally get the urge to masturbate like that, so can you please tell me if this is dangerous? I masturbate a little, just touching, and not inserting anything. I think this site is fab! (age 13)

It is extremely unlikely that an external trauma could tear your hymen. We're just starting to learn about prone masturbation in females. Many women who have quit masturbating prone have found their orgasmic capacity in intercourse increases. I can't say with certainty that what you describe is dangerous, but you are apt to have a better sex life (years from now, I hope) if you don't do that. Why not see what else you can do using your hands while lying on your back.

I am 18 years old and my boyfriend likes to stimulate my vagina by sticking his fingers in and it usually feels awesome. We have been doing this for a while and lately we have been doing it a lot. But it stopped feeling good and occasionaly it kinda hurts. What is causing this and should we take it easy for a while? Is my vagina tired out?

Women like a variety of feelings. Stimulating the same place repeatedly might cause a kind of vaginal fatigue. It would be good if your boyfriend could learn several ways to touch you and alternate among them.

I like to masturbate but my vagina seems very loose. It's going to be very embarrassing when I have to go to the gynecologist. It's loose internally as well. I don't know what to do about it. Am I masturbating too much?

I don't think so. It's probably just the way your vagina is. It might help to do some PC muscle exercises.

I'm afraid of using tampons, because I don't understand where my vaginal opening is! I can see my urethra, but my vagina is so difficult to find, and I'm afraid that I'll try to put a tampon inside the wrong place! (age 17)

The urethra is much harder to find than the vagina. When urine isn't coming out, the urethra can be almost invisible. If you know where the urethra is, you ought to be able to find the vagina, which is just below it. You couldn't stick a tampon in the urethra if you wanted to.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and we've been performing oral sex on each other for about a year. We aren't ready for vaginal intercourse, but I've noticed that the biggest tampon is a tight squeeze. My boyfriend's penis is approximately 2.5-3 times bigger around than the tampon. I often joke with him, "how are you ever going to fit?!", but in reality, I wonder. Will going slowly really work? Will I stretch that much? Thank you for any advice. (age 20)

Yes, it will stretch to the point of accomodating a baby's head. Going slowly is a very good idea the first time. You're also not sexually aroused when you insert those tampons, and they're less rigid than a penis, and all of that makes a difference. Don't worry so much about it and you're apt to enjoy it more.

I love to masturbate. After I am done masturbating, I have a yellow/white liquid that comes out. It has a really different smell. and it never goes away. What is that? (age 15)

It seems to be Bartholin's gland fluid. Some females produce more of it than others when they are aroused.

If a doctor checks on your private parts/genitals, is there a way to tell if he is taking his job seriously or just enjoying himself by touching you? Is it OK to take my older sister's pills to prevent me from getting pregnant? (age 17)

It is too bad that there is such abuse of women in society that women have to think about something like that before going to the doctor. Most doctors are honest professionals and will try to touch you as little as necessary to find out what they need to know. They can usually be done with your privates before you think. If you're very uncomfortable, you can request that an assistant be present during the exam (some doctors have one present to guard against false allegations), or you could simply pick out a woman doctor, if that would make you more comfortable. Taking your sister's pills is a very bad idea. You could hurt yourself because of some reaction that could come from the pills not being formulated specially for your needs. The doctor takes into account your allergies and past experience with medications, and especially what else you're taking now in order to find the ideal prescription for you. Also, birth control pills come in just the right number, so if you were taking your sister's then she wouldn't have the right number and could get pregnant. Don't be afraid of the doctor. You're being proactive by talking to me and coming up with a strategy for maximizing your comfort.

I'm a 14 year old girl and I don't think I have a hymen. I am a virgin in all 3 ways. I've started my periods, but when I masturbate, I'm able to stick 3 fingers inside of me. It doesn't hurt at all. Nothing is broken and I've never bled down there for any reason beside my period. Could my hymen be gone? I started to masturbate when I was 12 or 13. I don't remember ever having a hymen. I looked at your hymen gallery but I'm not sure which hymen I have or if I have one at all. The little hole down there looks like a diamond and I can't really compare it to the ones in your hymen gallery. Could I have been raped when I was young and not even remember it? I'm extremely upset because when I have sex, I want to be able to experience the pain as well as the pleasure. I heard about my friends doing it and they said the pain feels great because later on the pleasure comes. I've always dreamed about my first time and I want to experience everything.

The hymen gallery is mostly illustrations of rare hymens. Few girls have hymens that look like most of those. If there were a tonsil gallery, you or I or anyone else might not have tonsils that looked like those, but that wouldn't mean there is anything wrong with ours necessarily. There is no reason to assume you had been raped. Some girls are born without hymens, others have small ones, and still others have so little blood flow in theirs that there is no bleeding when they are broken. If you can get three fingers inside without hurting, I doubt you will have much pain upon your first intercourse, which I hope won't be until the U.S. has a different president. Most people do not want to experience pain during intercourse or any other time, and the girls you heard about probably had only a small amount of pain their first time. You are ahead of the game if you can have initial intercourse without pain. You aren't missing anything desirable if you don't feel pain.

I was looking at the hymen page and noticed I have a septate hymen. Do I need surgery? Will it wear away the more I masturbate? If I can fit a hairbrush inside, does this mean it won't break when my husband penetrates me one day? (age 14)

A septate hymen is simply a rare variation and probably won't need surgical removal. Like any other hymen, vigorous internal masturbation (especially with objects) will wear it away. I suspect there will not be much of it left by the time you have a husband.

I had sex for the first time recently but my hymen didn't break. It hurt a lot. I have done it a total of 5 times since. The hymen still hasn't broken and it still hurts every time; the last time it hurt the most. I have never masturbated internally for the same reason. It hurts even if I just touch it. I'm getting worried... Shouldn't it have at least stretched by now? We have used lubrication, stimulation, massage etc. to "get me ready" but it's still difficult and painful. I'm starting to want to avoid sex now. (age 22)

You might have a sclerotic hymen that needs to be removed surgically. It can be done in a doctor's office without too much trouble. If not, the doctor might have some other solution available.

I recently heard about douching. What's the point of it? My teacher said that the vagina cleans itself out regularly every time a girl has her period, so why are there douche products out there? (age 15)

Your teacher is right. Most doctors discourage douching. The products exist because there is a market for them. Many women douche for inappropriate reasons. The douche can actually aggravate what the women are trying to relieve.

Does external masturbation break your hymen? (age 21)


Sometimes after I am done masturbating I feel a bit of discomfort in my abdomen, like pressure on either side. Could this have something to do with my period? I usually masturbate most often when I'm close to my period. (age 16)

At your age, it's hard to tell. Some women can feel when they're ovulating, but this is not connected to masturbation at all. You might pay attention to times when you are pretty sure you're neither ovulating nor getting your period. Females are urged to keep a calendar of when they get their period (so they can tell when they're late), and you might note when you feel discomfort on the same calendar.

I was discussing sex the other day with my girlfriend. She mentioned not being able to wear tampons and that she has to finger herself to correct the issue. I'm 16 and she's 15, and both of us are virgins. We have been dating for about five months and are terribly in love with one another. We probably won't have sex for a while (until we're a little bit more mature and comfortable with it), but I was wondering what her condition might be and what implications this could have on sex?

It doesn't sound like a familiar problem. She obviously doesn't like tampons for some reason, or her mother doesn't want her to use them. It's entirely a personal choice that every girl has to make. It probably won't make any difference in her sexuality when she gets to that point.

A few days ago I lost my virginity. Afterward, I noticed I had something hanging out of my vagina, which I guess is my hymen that had broken? I'm sure this also isn't normal. What should I do about this? (age 16)

If it doesn't hurt, you can pull the excess away. I don't think it's necessarily unusual, because that tissue has to go someplace.

I have tried to have sex several times and the penis would either not go in, or would go in but would hurt too much and they had to pull out. The time it went in, I bled very little. Is my hymen still there? Will I bleed more when I have sex again? I've heard that girls with small hips have smaller vaginas. Is it possible that my problem is my vaginal size and not my hymen? (age 18)

There is probably not much left of your hymen. There is no point in worrying about it. Some more bleeding is possible at your next sexual experiences. Even females with small hips can pass a baby's head through their vaginas, so yours is not too small. With experience, it will become more comfortable. P>I have some small red bumps that have developed on my clitoris and around my labia minora. They are sensitive to touch and uncomfortable. They seemed to have come on suddently after I masturbated in the shower. I think these have happened before after masturbating. They are not herpes. More like little cysts. (age 30)

For your own peace of mind, you ought to have them checked out by a doctor. It might be just an allergic reaction to chemicals from the shower or something more serious.

I've been masturbating internally with my fingers for a while. I know my hymen is pretty much gone, but, there seems to be strand still intact that I'm afraid to mess with. It kind of creates two entry points out of one. I'm afraid that if it stays, by the time I decide to engage in sexual activity something bad could happen. Is there something wrong with me or was it just the way my hymen decided to erode/break? (age 17)

If your description is correct, you have a septate hymen. There is nothing wrong if the bridge breaks. There is also nothing that will go wrong if it doesn't.

Follow-up: After you answered my question I did some research, that backed up this answer, but I have another question. If I go to a gynecologist for it, can he just remove it and that be the end of it? (This site is wonderful.)


The entrance to my vagina isn't smooth but has lots of lumpy things. I'm not at all sure what they are. I don't know if they have always been there as I have only started paying attention to them recently as I have become more sexually interested. I am really scared. Is this normal? (age 17)

My first instinct is to say they are genital warts. These should definitely be examined by a doctor.

I've broke my hymen by accident during masturbation. Am I no longer a virgin? (age 16)

Not having a hymen, or a broken one, doesn't make you not a virgin. To become a non-virgin, you have to engage in sexual intercourse.

I am really tight, and I have a septate hymen. How can I stretch it so it won't hurt so much when I have sex? I really want it to be torn before sex. (age 17)

Masturbating with objects will tend to stretch it or erode it altogether. If you really want it out, the best thing to do is ask your doctor to remove it.

I'm 5'1", about 110 lbs. and have pretty small hips, and my boyfriend is 6'2". We tried to have sex the other day (the first time for both of us), and it just did not work. His penis did not fit in my vagina as far as we could tell. We tried for over 2 hours, using fingers and his penis and it still didn't seem to fit. He ended up being able to stick his forefinger and thumb in me at the same time without too much difficulty or pain, but somehow even his flaccid penis didn't fit. Were we doing something wrong? My vagina seems hard to locate by just seeing and I guess is pretty small, but I can't even tell if I have a hymen or what kind it is. I'm seeing a gynecologist in a few days and asking her about it, but what do you think we should do? (age 17)

The vagina can stretch to accomodate a baby's head, so you can definitely fit any penis in. It will just take some time and patience since you are inexperienced. Your doctor might be able to give you some advice. If you try again, it would be a good idea for him to warm you up with his hands first, and to use a lot of lube when you attempt intercourse.

I started my period when I was 13. I'm very small, but I have very heavy periods. I have been using super plus tampons ever since I started. I have NEVER felt any pain inserting any tampons though. But I read that using tampons can erode the hymen. I regularly masturbate externally, but I've never had sex. Have I eroded most of my hymen through tampons? (age 16)

It's doubtful that the tampons, even large ones, have completely eroded your hymen, but it is likely there is less left than that of a girl who never uses tampons. Even so, tampon use wears the hymen less than internal masturbation.

I don't understand the whole hymen thing. I tried looking in the mirror but I don't know what I'm looking at because all I see is a pink sheet, no hole or anything. Am I looking in the wrong place? I'm very confused because I have masturbated internally. (age 16)

With or without a hymen, there would be an opening. That is your vagina. If you still have a hymen, it would be outside the entrance to your vagina.

I'm pretty sure I have a septate hymen but when I masturbate internally with my fingers it won't go. I've asked my mom to go to the gyno but she just ignores me! Can't I just cut it myself? (age 14)

There's no reason to do that. The hymen is harmless where it is, and it will disappear over time.

Before when I used to masturbate and/or be pleasured by another with the finger, I never bled and now I find blood on my fingers. I don't masturbate often. Only every few months or longer. Should I be worried? (age 26)

Probably not. It might be residue from your period. If you masturbated more often, I would expect you'd see less blood.

When I was younger I fell on a pole and broke my hymen. It is hard for me to get sexually aroused and my vagina isn't very sensitive. Could this be because of that and could I have damaged anything? (age 14)

A lot of girls your age are just learning to get aroused. Don't be discouraged. Just keep working at it. I assume if you had damaged anything, your doctor would have noticed it by now.

When I rub my clitoris it hurts. This can't be normal, can it? How do I get it to feel good when I rub it? (age 15)

The clitoris is a lot of fun to stimulate, but it is also very sensitive. Most girls find a way to rub the area around it or the shaft of it which manages to transmit the feeling to the clitoral head without stimulating it directly. Males do the same thing, rubbing the shaft of their penises and avoiding the head, unless they use a lot of lube on the head.

I went to your page and saw hymen pictures. I wanted to check my own and I think I have the one called a septate hymen. I felt something like that "bridge." I tried to push it a little and it hurt! I really don`t know if it`s that. I`m 16 years old and I haven`t had sex. I`m afraid it will hurt a lot so I would like some advice.

A septate hymen is no more painful in breaking than a regular one. There is probably no reason to worry about your hymen.

Can I masturbate while I'm on my period? (age 12)

Certainly. That's when some females have the greatest urge to masturbate

Today I was fingering myself and noticed after some pain that I was bleeding. I think I already broke my hymen before, and it wasn't too far in. I looked at the finger and there was a sharp nail. I was wondering if I might have cut the tissue? If so, should I go to the doctor? (age 15)

The chances of needing a doctor for a small amount of bleeding are quite small. If you broke your hymen, that doesn't mean it was completely gone. A sharp nail could have torn something. It might have been a good idea to stop when you felt pain.

I masturbate on a fairly regular basis, sometimes more than once a day. I am a virgin and not planning on becoming sexually active soon (thus not on birth control). For the past month I have been bleeding vaginally as if on a month-long period. I mentioned this to a friend who told me that it could be cervical cancer (which my grandmother had), or that I am simply masturbating too often. I've made an appointment with my gynecologist for a little over two months from now but I am wondering if I should move it up? Sometimes there are gelatinous red globs in my urine. I wondered if perhaps that could be my hymen breaking up. Please tell me if I should be worried. (age 24)

It's odd that your hymen would be suddenly breaking up now. I assume you're not new to masturbation. Unexplained bleeding can be a warning sign of cancer. I would suggest going to a doctor ASAP (not necessarily a gynecologist). It's probably not cancer, but what is the point of waiting two months to have it examined?

I masturbate with a candle. When I get it in as far as it will go, what am I touching? My intestines? (age 12)

That is your cervix.

I have masturbated for about four years now, and during one of my first sessions, there was a thin stream of blood following masturbation. Do I still have a hymen,or is it gone by now? (age 19)

If you have been masturbating internally for four years, there is probably not much left of your hymen. But external masturbation has probably not affected your hymen much. You can look in the mirror or use several mirrors to see for yourself.

My boyfriend and I recently started to experiment with manual intercourse. When he took his hand out, it was bloody. It didn't stop bleeding until this morning and even now I'm still not sure it has stopped. Did he scratch me or is my hymen broken? (age 17)

It is probably from your hymen. If he had scratched you, there would have been pain.

I just wanted to know whether the labia minora have something to do with virginity? Do they only appear after intercourse? (age 17)

All women are born with their labia minora. The only thing they have to do with virginity is that if a penis has passed through them, the people are no longer virgins.

I've been masturbating internally for about a year now. Usually when I put my fingers in, it's very warm, but the past two times, it hasn't been warm at all. Is this normal? (age 15)

Yes. It is normal for your body temperature to fluctuate, and perhaps it just warmer where you are this time of year.

I'd like to know what could damage the hymen other than sexual intercourse. (age 18)

Masturbating internally, especially with objects could do it. So could tampon use and some kinds of strenuous athletic activity.

I am trying to conceive a child. If I masturbate every night, will it affect my chances of conception? (age 30)


I masturbate almost every night, since I was 9 or so. Recently I've noticed the skin around my vulva is getting dry and rough and sometimes itchy and irritated. I put some lotion on it, but it's not going away. (age 12)

Perhaps try an advanced lotion. It might be the result of hair starting to grow.

I've been masturbating for two to three years. Less than most of the females on here, it seems. But I have a very high sex drive On days when I masturbate, I often do it two or three times. A few days after masturbating, I will have some vaginal fluid leakage. It isn't a constant flow but a sudden escape of fluid which isn't urine. It doesn't happen after sexual intercourse. Is this normal in females who masturbate? If not, what could it be from? (age 19)

Your problem isn't familiar to me. Some discharge of vaginal fluid is normal, but I don't know how it could be related to masturbating two or three days earlier. I suggest you abstain from masturbating and sexual intercourse for a week or so and see if you have the discharges anyway. That ought to convince you that it isn't related to your sexual activity.

Is there any possibility that the first penetration of the penis into the vagina can cause no bleeding?

Yes. There is a rare condition in which the hymen contains no blood vessels. Also, the hymen can be eroded through masturbation or other activity and there is only a small amount of it left by the time of first sexual intercourse.

What is vaginismus? Will I be able to have orgasm in intercourse if I have vaginismus? (age 16)

Vaginismus is a disorder of the vagina where it closes by muscular contractions. It makes it nearly impossible to have intercourse, let alone for the man or woman to reach orgasm that way. Vaginismus can have either physical or psychological causes. Psychological ones are more common and easier to treat. The main thing the sufferer needs to learn to do is relax the PC muscle so that she can have intercourse.

Is there a link between more frequent masturbation in women due to higher testosterone levels? I've been masturbating ever since I was 8 or 9, and I've always stimulated myself face down on my bed, rubbing my hands against my clitoris, above my clothing. Is this considered prone masturbating? And if so, can it be corrected and does it have any long term effects? This site is filled with very helpful information! Thank you for taking the time to answer everybody's personal questions! (age 15)

Women only have a tiny amount of testosterone. Men have a lot of testosterone, which is part of the answer for why men masturbate more than women. (Men also have bodily fluids to eliminate through masturbation and a biological urge to keep their sperm in good condition for fertilization.) Yes, masturbating face down is what is meant by prone masturbation. You can usually train yourself to avoid prone and learn to masturbate conventionally within a few weeks, and it would not then have any long-term effects.

I am sexually active and have masturbated since age 6. I noticed on the males page you said it was normal to get zits around the penis if semen is not cleaned up. Is it normal for a girl to get zits (similar to whiteheads) around the genital area? (age 18)

Yes, that can happen too, but if you are sexually active it would be worth getting tested for STDs if only to rule them out.

Your site is AMAZING!!! I love it to pieces!!! After learning from your site that semen leaves a stain and being completely blown away by it, it has bothered me. WHY does it stain? Do female sexual fluids stain too? I MUST know! Thanks! I think you rock. (age 20)

Pretty much all bodily fluids can stain fabric. The distinctive coloring of semen (and also its scent) are because of prostate fluid, which is slightly yellowish. Actually, the longer a male has gone since ejaculating, the yellower his semen is apt to be. Some female sexual fluids also stain, although they are more likely to be faintly whitish.

I've been masturbating since I turned 18 and it's such a good feeling. After a couple of months, my vagina started hurting and I don't know why. I've never had sex. My mom said if I stick objects or my hand up there, I can get pregnant. I don't bleed but it stings when I touch there. Can you help me out? Your site is incredibly amazing!!! Without it I would be in shock and all worried about myself and what's happening to me so thanks for making this site! MWAHH AND SMOOCHES TO YOU :} (age 18)

Right back at ya! You can't get pregnant by masturbating. Your mother probably meant if you were fooling around with a male. It might be all in your head, or it might be a reaction to your touches. It might help to wash your hands before you masturbate. It might also help to take a break from masturbating for a week or so and see if it makes any difference.

Ever since I started my period last year I realized I have a septate hymen. It really bugs me so I masturbate constantly to try and rid myself of this problem. I usually use 2 or 3 fingers, even objects, but it never hurts and the hole never seems to get any bigger. Any way I can get rid of my problem? (age 14)

Septate hymens are rare, and there is really nothing wrong with having one. You are probably all upset over nothing. If you are masturbating frequently internally, your hymen will become reduced gradually. There is probably no reason to do anything.

If your hymen is still there can you get pregnant? (age 15)

Yes. The hymen offers no contraceptive power.

I'm a 17 year old girl and I've been having sex for about a year now. Sometimes during sex I get a really sharp pain under my belly button. Is that normal? Is my boyfriend going up inside my uterus? Is that even possible? I probably should have asked my gynecologist at my last appointment but I was too embarrassed.

The penis cannot penetrate the uterus. You might call your gynecologist's nurse about this. She and the doctor might want you to come in for a special exam.

Until very recently, I have been worried because I have a strip of skin covering the entrance to my vagina. I'm really lucky to have discovered this site, as it has informed me that it is only my hymen and that it is nothing to worry about. I don't yet know whether or not I wish to have a small operation to remove it, as my hymen is very thick and very intrusive, but thank you for putting my mind at ease! (age 16)

Thank you too! There is probably no reason to have the operation. The hymen is apt to disappear eventually without the need for surgery.

I haven't tried masturbating yet, but I read on this site that masturbation helps stop periods from hurting. Why does that work? I haven't had my period yet, but I'm scared it'll hurt a lot. Should I start masturbating to keep it from hurting? (age 12)

Like a lot of my readers, you worry too much. You shouldn't worry in advance about menstrual cramps. Some females get them and some don't. Some find that masturbating eases them, but I don't know why this would be so. Perhaps orgasm helps muscles that are tense relax. Perhaps some of these women are using the cramps to justify masturbating. I don't think you need justification like that. Masturbating is fun and healthy, and if you want to do it, you should.

I have no hymen. I am still a virgin but my boyfriend believes he should be able to feel it pop. How should I explain this to him? (age 17)

Tell him that it is normal for some girls to be born without hymens, and it is also normal for girls to have eroded their hymens even without having intercourse by your age.

I haven't started my period yet and I have masturbated about 5 times. My mom says she got her period at my age. My birthday just passed. Can the fact that I have masturbated affect when my period starts? (age 13)

Masturbation will not affect your menstrual cycle. You are only barely 13. You will probably be menstruating by age 14. Just enjoy your masturbation and don't worry about your period.

My boyfriend is several years older and has engaged in sexual intercourse before, but I have a septate hymen and am afraid to get involved in intercourse until I get it removed. What is the proper way for a female to help a male simulate orgasm without vaginal intercourse? (age 18)

I'm inclined to believe you're quite anxious about intercourse and are using the hymen as an excuse. Intercourse is the easiest way to get a septate hymen removed. I don't think your boyfriend wants to simulate orgasm. He wants to have them. It would probably be difficult for him, as a sexually experienced man, to go back to holding hands exclusively. Many men consider oral sex to be the next best thing.

I got drunk one night and had sex for the first time. I don't remember if it hurt or not but I did bleed at least a little. When I look inside my vagina, it has a nickel sized hole near the bottom. Do I have my hymen? Will it hurt next time? (age 15)

Your hymen is no longer intact. I think if it had hurt, you would remember. I don't think you need to worry about it hurting in the future.

I masturbate once or twice per week and my clitoris is starting to hurt. Is this bad? (age 17)

It would be a good idea to find a way that doesn't hurt or perhaps start using lubricant.

I have tried to have sex a few times with my boyfriend whom I've been with for almost 2 years. I am a virgin. My vagina seems to be too tight to penetrate. What should I do?

He should try to get you relaxed and aroused some other way before he tried to penetrate you next time. The important thing is to be relaxed. Don't fret and tense up if it isn't going perfectly. Also, I don't think you're still a virgin if you've tried to have sex.

I think my hymen broke while I was internally masturbating but it could also be my period. How would I know? (age 15)

Menstrual bleeding lasts for days. Hymen bleeding would only last for an hour or so.

In your responses to females experiencing pain during and after masturbation, you never mention dyspareunia, which includes vaginismus, which you also never mention. I belive that if you really wish to assist and guide some of these girls, you need to inform them of these conditions. Other than this I thought your site is helpful and informative. I came here looking for proof that it's unhealthy for men to abstain from masturbation for months at a time, and I found it. Do you think my early masturbation (age 5 or 6) has something to do with my being molested by a family member? I still speak with her all the time and I'm not scared of her or angry with her or anything, and I never was. I believe she was just experimenting, and although I don't condone it, I don't hold it against her. (age 16)

Children who are molested tend to start masturbating earlier, but this does not mean that all children who masturbate young were molested. I mention vaginismus on at least three different pages of this site.

I have heard that a guy's penis can be too big. I'm afraid in the future the guy I want to have sex will be too big to fit in my vagina. Is this true? If not, where did it all start? I REALLY love this site! I like to know I'm not the only one out there my age who masturbates. (age 15)

Don't worry about that. A woman's vagina can stretch to accomodate any size penis or a baby's head. The only time this is an issue is when the female is both very small and inexperienced and the male is both very large and clumsy.

I'm still a virgin and I masturbate quite often. Within the past few months, I've started inserting objects while masturbating, mostly candles. Two weeks ago I purchased my first dildo. I've used it twice, and after each use, I've bled. Is this normal? I would think that by now my hymen would be gone. (age 33)

Hymens don't disappear completely until a woman gives birth. Doing anything different is apt to stimulate a different area, which is why that area is bleeding.

I almost always get my period the day after I masturbate. Why is this and how can I fix this? (age 15)

Masturbation does not bring your period on, but it might be your period coming on gives you the urge to masturbate. One way to fix it would be to masturbate more than once a month.

I don't have my period yet. My mom wants to take me to a gynecologist to see whats wrong but I am afraid he will tell my mom that my hymen is broken. I probably broke it masturbating and I don't want her thinking I am not a virgin.. I am scared. (age 14)

A lot of girls your age don't have their periods yet. I don't think you need to panic. Also, anything you tell the doctor is confidential. You can tell him not to tell your mom anything about your exam.

I'm a virgin and I have been masturbating with running water for a long time. Does this mean a guy will never be able to please me? I really want to feel good the first time I do it with a boy. What can I do? (age 18)

Relax. Not everyone who masturbates that way has trouble with orgasm in intercourse. Also, relatively few women have orgasm during their first intercourse. It is something to be learned. I think you are better off if you don't masturbate with running water. You can always quit that and learn to do it with your hands.

I am worried that I might lose my hymen by masturbating. I like to masturbate, but I don't want my mother to think that I've had sex after I'm examined at the doctor's office when really I just masturbate. Is there anything to worry about? (age 14)

No. The doctor is required to keep the results of your exam confidential. The hymen is going to go away eventually anyway. Masturbating internally is apt to erode it some, but masturbating externally will keep it pretty intact.

I discovered masturbating with my fingers last week, and now I masturbate at least 2-3 times a day. I'm concerned that this will make my hymen go away more quickly than it should. What's the average age that young girls lose their hymen? (age 14)

Females have remnants of their hymens left until they give birth. Most hymen experts say they are usually not intact much past the age of 12. I think you're worrying about your hymen too much.

Can a doctor tell if you have been masturbating, internally or externally? Can he tell if you are missing your hymen or have been having sex? (age 12)

External masturbation would be nearly impossible to detect. The doctor can see the condition your hymen is in and might be able to make a guess as to what you have been doing with it with 50 percent accuracy, which diminishes as you get older.

Is it true that if you don't have sex for a year, your vagina will be as tight as it was before you had sex? Is there a chance you can bleed again?

The tightness of an inexperienced vagina is due mostly to the inability to relax of the woman to relax. Abstaining from sex for a year will not make a difference. Bleeding can be an ongoing thing as it can take a long time for the hymen to erode completely.

I have a bump on my vulva. Does this mean I have genital herpes? I am a virgin but I shave. Can I get herpes even though I don't have a partner? How do you know if you have clitoral dysfunction? I only have vaginal orgasms after 20 minutes of masturbating. (age 24)

You can't get herpes from masturbating. If the bump isn't from shaving, it should be examined by a doctor. 20 minutes isn't so long. Try to relax and concentrate a little more and I think you'll be able to come sooner.

Is it true that the longer you wait to have sex or masturbate internally, the thicker your hymen gets? (age 16)

No, that is not true.

My inner lips are so loose it's embarrassing. I don't even think I can ever be with a guy because I am so self-conscious. Is there any possible way to help it?

I've never heard of a male rejecting a female because he didn't like how her vulva looked. He isn't going to worry about it, so why should you?

Does the hymen have nerve endings in it or is the pain I feel when I try to break it coming from my vaginal walls? (age 20)

The hymen has no nerve endings. It is not apt to be a source of pain. When you try to have sex for the first time, the main cause of pain is not relaxing your vaginal walls enough. If your hymen is not breaking readily, you can have it removed in the doctor's office.

Why do some girls have an Adam's apple? I have one, and I find it unfair because not many girls have one. Since you're a male, would you dislike a girl that had one? Are there males that lack an Adam's apple? (age 16)

Everyone has one, but they are usually more noticeable on males than females. I don't think it would bother me if someone had one. When you get older, they are even less noticeable. I don't think you should worry about it.

I am nearly 16 and I have masturbating since I was around 11. I have been in a relationship with a guy and we had oral sex. I orgasmed plenty of times, but only today when I was masturbating was there a lot of blood, and it's not my period. What could have caused this? Could my nail have cut me? (age 15)

Yes, that is possible. It is also possible you have a lot of hymen left if you've never been fully penetrated. I don't know that you need to worry about it if it was only this once.

Recently when I get fingered by a guy it really hurts. It doesn't hurt when masturbate or put things in my vagina but I recently looked at your hymen gallery and compared my hymen to it. My hymen doesn't have a completely circular hole. It looks very dangly and gets in the way. When I look through the os of my vagina, it isn't shadowy. I can see a big piece of flesh in my vagina and I don't think its normal. (age 17)

If you haven't had actual penis-in-vagina intercourse or masturbated with large objects, there is probably a lot of your hymen left. The condition you describe is normal. Also, the illustrations in the hymen gallery of this site aren't supposed to be perfect representations of what's past the hymen. If you looked at actual photographs of hymens and vaginas, you would probably see something closer to your own. I'm sure if there were anything anatomically abnormal about you, your doctor would have noticed on a pelvic exam.

Can a person's weight determine how their vulva looks? I have what I have been told is a "camel toe," so can losing weight change the way it looks? (age 17)

Perhaps you should not associate with someone who would point that out to you. People have all sorts of parts that look different, and the vulva is no exception. Some of them are affected by your weight and some are not. For example, if you have attached earlobes, losing or gaining weight would not make them not be attached. I would not recommend a weight loss program solely to change how your vulva looks. Also, consider that there are probably as many people who find the kind of vulva you describe desirable as who don't. There's no point in getting worried by it.

My cousin ran up onto a diving board and slipped and hit her vagina on the side of the board and started bleeding heavily. They gave her stitches. Should we be worried that her sex life in the years to come will not be the same? She is only 8. (age 17)

The trauma was almost certainly to her outside and not her vagina, which is an internal organ. The doctors would be able to give you a better answer, but it seems unlikely to me her sex life (which I hope she won't have for 10 years) will be affected.

Will I break my hymen if I masturbate? I'm scared. (age 14)

If you masturbate externally, probably not. If you masturbate internally, almost definitely. But you should not be hung up on a nerveless piece of skin that will go away completely sooner or later.

I have been masturbating by rubbing myself with a blanket since I was at least 12. It's a habit. Today I was in pain and I realized that my vagina was kind of tornish and weird. I don't know what to do. If I tell anyone, then they will know I've been masturbating. (age 16)

I would advise taking a break until the pain goes away and then doing it without the blanket.

My boyfriend and I were swimming and he inserted his finger into my vagina. It was hurting at that moment, but the next day I touched the outside and it started bleeding, and I'm not sure if it was the hymen or a cut. (age 16)

I don't think I can tell you either. It could be either. If he keeps fingering you (or you or he insert other things, ahem), the hymen will become greatly eroded and eventually disappear.

I masturbate a lot and worry the next morning that someone can smell it. Could they? (age 16)

Probably not. If you were male, I would say that some people can smell semen on your body and clothes. In any case, you could relieve this fear simply by showering every morning, which is part of a normal morning routine anyway.

I am still a virgin and have been masturbating for a long time; externally, and internally with my fingers. Recently I inserted a candle into my vagina because I wanted to try something bigger and now every time I go to the toilet it stings a bit. Is this normal or is there something wrong? (age 16)

That feeling is not normal. You might have introduced chemicals from the candle into your vagina when you did that. You might also have scratched yourself. If so, the scratch should heal within a few days.

I've been having sex regularily for over a year now, and it still hurts. I know that my hymen is broken,and it hurts far inside my vagina. There I can feel a round object. I have not orgasmed once during sex. I'm very frustrated, because I don't know what the problem is. (age 17)

You describe your cervix. I think you ought to get examined by a doctor to rule out a physical problem.

My gynecologist said that I had foliculits on my vulva. I have nowhere to ask, so will this infection recur? (age 24)

You can always call your gynecologist. The nurse could probably answer that over the phone. It is certainly possible that it can recur, although I have no idea how likely that is. It would help to not shave the area until you get it completely clear.

Many times I have trouble inserting a tampon. I used to think it was my hymen, but I can see my hymen from looking in a mirror, and it's no longer intact (although I am still a virgin). The problem is I can only get it about halfway in before it feels like I can't possibly get it any further, and it hurts to try to force it. Do you think it sounds like vaginismus, and what can I do to help solve the problem? (age 21)

I don't think your hymen would be to blame for that. Vaginismus seems like a more likely explanation. The treatment includes doing Kegel exercises and sometimes using vaginal dilators. It would be worthwhile to consult with a gynecologist or sex therapist to find a course of treatment.

I am having my first Pap smear in two weeks. Tonight my boyfriend and I got a little carried away and he broke my hymen. I wasn't even sure it had happened until I saw the tiny amount of blood in my underwear. Will my doctor be able to tell that this has happened, and if so, will she tell my parents? (age 16)

The doctor will be able to see the condition of the hymen but will probably not know what caused it to be in that condition. The doctor is bound by confidentiality not to tell your parents anything you don't want them to know.

I love your site. When I masturbate internally, I can only go about 3 inches in. When I try to go deeper, it really hurts. I think it's my cervix. Is there any way I can go deeper? (age 14)

There's a good chance it is your cervix. The average vagina is only about 4 inches long. You also might not have finished growing, in which case your vagina might lengthen. This is another reason why I suggest girls your age confine themselves to external masturbation. There are a lot of feelings you can explore without needing to go internal.

What physical occurence actually causes the pain during menstruation? (age 18)

It's believed to be a mock pregnancy and most women feel what they would if they were pregnant.

I got a cut in my perineum. It really hurts and it hasn't gone away, and sometimes it starts to bleed. Do you think this will go away by itself? (age 18)

It probably keeps getting opened up. It would help to cover it for a while. It would probably not be easy or comfortable for you to do, so I suggest getting some help.

One night I was masturbating on the couch and when I got up, there was a wet stain. Is that natural?

Yes, that is very common. It's a sign of good lubrication.

For the first time I have had intercourse but my hymen is still intact. I believe I have a septate hymen like in the illustrations in your hymen gallery. It still hurts and I'm mostly afraid of the pain just from the pressure of it about to tear when he actually hits it. Will it tear little by little? I'm not very tolerable of pain sometimes. (age 20)

The hymen does not have nerves and its breaking ought not cause pain. You are probably so worked up about this that you don't know what you're feeling. It would be a good idea to wait until you're well lubricated before beginning penetration. Even experienced women often get uncomfortable feelings during intercourse if they're not properly lubricated and their partners are too rough in making entry. Have you partner work on you for a long time before attempting penetration and then he should be very gentle while entering you. The hymen will probably not be septate long after that. If it really bothers you, you can have a doctor remove it. (age 20)

After sex and an orgasm, I have swelling of my labia. Is this OK as it is quite noticeable? (age 25)

Yes. During sexual arousal, the sex organs get engorged with blood. They usually drain quickly after an orgasm but sometimes not. It's nothing to worry about. Sometimes having another orgasm can help.

Does the vagina get much bigger after vaginal intercourse? Does the vagina get bigger after every vaginal intercourse? Do men prefer to have sex with women who have not had kids or women who have? (age 18)

The vagina will stretch after first intercourse but it will not continue to stretch with every act of intercourse. I've not known many men to have a preference.

I get red blotches on my face and neck after I masturbate. Is this bad? (age 15)

That is fairly normal. Keep in mind that someone could figure out what you've been doing if you emerge from your privacy before the redness goes away.

You said that STDs can be in saliva secretions. Can I get an STD from making out? You also said that you should use a "dental dam" while performing cunnilingus. What is a dental dam? (age 12)

The virus that causes AIDS has been isolated in saliva but there are no cases documented resulting from oral contact alone. Some minor STDs can be spread through oral contact. A dental dam is a piece of latex used to isolate teeth during dental procedures, and a piece of latex used during cunnilingus is also called a dental dam.

I hear there is some sort of area in the vagina which will give an immediate orgasm. Is this true? Where is it located? I love your site! (age 15)

It is the G Spot, located 2-3 inches in on the top surface of the vagina. It will not be an immediate orgasm, but once you have learned to stimulate it properly, you are apt to have orgasms more readily than touching other places.

I have been talking about having sex for over a year now, and I think I am finally ready. According to a web site I found, I have an ugly vulva. I know it sounds silly, but I looked at guys' opinions and they said that vuvlas similiar to mine resulted from having way too much sex! I'm a virgin, and I'm concerned now. I've been masturbating for as long as I can remember, a lot, and I'm worried that it might be the cause. I can't remember if I always had an unattractive vulva either. Are there really ugly vulvas? Do guys care? If I stopped masturbating would it help? (age 16)

I'm sure 99 percent of males would find your vulva attractive and the other 1 percent would be happy to have sex with you anyway if you asked them. Masturbating did not do anything bad to your genital appearance. This is something you don't need to worry about at all.

My boyfriend has being inserting two fingers but he hasn't put his penis in. I'd like to know if I'm still a virgin or not because my parents are taking me for a virginty test. (age 22)

A lot of "virginity tests" would be inconclusive at your age. I don't think inserting fingers makes you not a virgin, but it might make your vagina look to some people like you've been having sex.

Last year I tried to have sexual intercourse and it was very painful. I bled a little that night. I know that my vagina has a very small opening. It's as if there isn't really a hole there. Do I still have a lot of hymen left and should I get surgery because I'm too scared to insert anything into myself and I don't think my opening is big enough to do anything? (age 17)

You have jumped to a lot of conclusions. It's too bad that your first intercourse was unsuccessful, but you are just guessing at a lot of possible causes. I think you should see a gynecologist soon. She can find out what, if anything, is wrong, and reassure you that you can be on the road to sexual success soon.

If you've broken your hymen will it grow back? (age 15)


After you first have sex, is it possible that a piece of excess skin from your hymen could hang down? Should I contact a doctor or will this eventually wear off after having sex a few more times? (age 18)

What you describe is normal. The hymen will further erode with more sex.

Thanks for your site! I'm a virgin and I've been masturbating for about 10 years, mostly externally. I've never used objects, but lately, I've been exploring internal masturbation and I recently purchased a dildo. How far should a dildo fit into the vagina? I don't want to hurt myself. (age 23)

It would be pretty tough to hurt yourself. You wouldn't be able to put it past the cervix if you wanted to. Just use it gently until you get used to the feeling.

Sometimes when I use the bathroom in school I find that I'm wet. Is this normal? (age 16)

Yes, it is.

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