Stories of quitting masturbation
According to a survey of over 8000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the first half of 2007 and of over 3000 females in 2007-08, 41 percent of males and 36 percent of females have tried to quit masturbating at some point. Not anywhere near this number are successful at it. Have you ever tried to quit? Why, and what happened? Please share any information here that would be useful to others.
When I was 17, I tried to quit. I think I was just embarrassed about masturbating and wanted to legitimately tell people that I didn't do it. I was going to try to get into a relationship with a girl and if it got to the point where we were going to talk about stuff like that, I wanted to honestly tell her that I didn't masturbate. We were both going to be at an overnight summer retreat that lasted 4-5 nights. I knew I couldn't masturbate because I would be in a room with another guy. It seemed like a good time to quit. The retreat started on Monday, I think, and I didn't masturbate after the Friday night before the retreat. I got through the retreat OK (although the girl didn't want to have a relationship with me or even do anything). I made it through my first night at home OK too. Then came Saturday night and I was just very aware of my penis. I don't know any other way to describe it. I couldn't do anything without thinking about how much I wanted to masturbate. I tried to watch TV but couldn't pay attention because of the distraction I was getting from my penis. It just wanted to be touched, or something. I was trying to watch this old movie on TV and just decided to get it over with. I didn't even turn the TV off. I just masturbated on my bed with the movie going. It wasn't long before I had my orgasm. I never tried to quit again. I made it 8 nights. (age 29)
I tried quitting when I was 19. I was trying to get involved with a girl and wanted to save my sexual impulses for her. I suppose I was planning to quit masturbating entirely and just have sex with her. We were gonna go out near the end of January. I stopped masturbating about two weeks before. Then three days before the date, she called it off because her dad had been in a car accident. He wasn't hurt, but their family car situation had been messed up. The date was just complicating things, or so she said. The next morning I woke up and decided to put an end to my abstinence. I had been practicing prone masturbation up until then but I was feeling so sensitive that I just decided to stroke it. It was the first time I had ever used my hand to masturbate. I came in about 2-3 minutes and thought it was a great feeling. I was sorry that I had wasted 10 days when I could have been masturbating. I later found out that this girl slept with a lot of guys. (age 23)
I think you won two ways. The girl helped you overcome prone masturbation, and masturbating helped you overcome a girl who slept with a lot of guys and treated you badly.
When I was 21, I quit masturbating for a few weeks. I hadn't had a wet dream since I started, and I really wanted one again. I only halfheartedly quit though. I still masturbated, but I stopped a long time before I got to orgasm. I thought that would make it more likely that I would have a wet dream soon. I had made it about 25 days without an ejaculation. Then on the 26th day, I masturbated too long. I got to the point where I knew I would ejaculate in about 10 seconds. I felt kind of dejected that I had spoiled 25 days of abstaining, but I decided to go ahead and finish. It wasn't the greatest orgasm ever, but there was a lot of semen. (age 26)
Most males don't succeed at getting a wet dream when they quit masturbating for a few weeks in order to get one. You can learn more about that on my wet dreams page.
I had to quit masturbating for a little while last year on doctor's orders. I had a flareup of epididymitis and the doctor told me I had to abstain from ejaculating until I was cured. I looked shellshocked when he told me, and he said I could ejaculate once a week. He was a fairly young doctor and I think he understood what I was feeling. I had to take a couple of prescriptions and avoid physical activity, even regular exercise or too much walking around. I think I was diagnosed on a Friday and decided I would masturbate on Saturdays. I was very "hot" when that first Saturday came and I hadn't masturbated in nine days. It was a good time, and I felt like I could have done it a couple more times, but I remembered the doctor's orders and I didn't. I made it again through the second week and had a nice orgasm on Saturday afternoon. Then the third week I accidentally saw something on TV on Thursday that just got me so ... hot ... I had to do it. (I hadn't sought out something arousing, but just happened to come across something that I knew couldn't be ignored.) The week after that, the doctor said I had improved enough that I could resume normal activities. That day I went home and masturbated 3-4 times. It's good to be healthy. (age 27)
It would have been better if you had discussed specifically with the doctor what you were thinking and not merely thought what he must have been thinking. Never be embarrassed to tell the doctor that you masturbate. The doctor masturbates too.
When I was 21, I read in a book that it was impossible for a male to quit masturbating. I wanted to show them wrong. So I quit. I lasted for a whole week. I gave in when I was sitting on a toilet and my penis was there in front of me and just demanded attention. I never masturbated on a toilet before, but this time it was just so urgent. The guy who wrote that book was right. (age 24)
Do penises really demand attention? You're the second man on this page who has claimed so.
I've been abstaining for 160 days. I've already had 7 wet dreams. You wrote that this will do damage to my body. Can you explain in more detail, because I'm fine. Do I have to stop this? I quit cold turkey 160 days ago and I'm not lying. (age 25)
Male sexual health is helped by frequent and consistent ejaculation. In the short term, sharply reduced (or sharply increased) ejaculatory frequency can lead to prostate pain. In the long term, a team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles found that males who masturbated most often when they were young had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week. Most men your age masturbate a little less than once a day. However, the reason I believe your story is a lie is because you never used the word masturbate in your message. By writing to me about quitting masturbating without mentioning what you quit, I believe you have an issue with masturbation. It's OK if you don't want to say the word out loud, but I urge you to accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun and to at least admit to yourself that you do it frequently.
Follow-up: I started masturbating at 15 (2-3 times daily) but 162 days ago I made a bet with my friend about who could go longer without masturbating or having sex, and he lost almost immediately, but I did go on to see how much I can resist the urge, and now 162 days later I have stopped thinking about masturbation or sex, and my life is much better. I have more energy, my focus is much greater, my sleep improved, my urination is better, and my social life expanded. I know that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun. I did it all the time and I admit it. I only wanted to know the risks.
I think you're better off if you ejaculate frequently. I would really like to know how quitting masturbation changed all those things for you. Anyway, you haven't stopped thinking about masturbation or sex, because you're reading a masturbation web site and are corresponding with the author for the purpose of bragging about how long you've gone without doing it. I kind of think you're thinking about it more often than males who do it at a typical frequency.
I quit masturbating once. I don't remember why. I just said I wasn't going to masturbate anymore. That lasted all of three days. On the third night, I got a massive erection and just said I've got to go for it. I had one of the best orgasms ever and I've never thought of quitting since. (age 18)
Yes, many males say three days is the peak time.
The only time I ever quit masturbating was when I decided to give up prone masturbation after finding HealthyStrokes.com. I followed the directions on the site and figured it would be no problem to go a week without masturbating since I had gone 13 years without before I started. The first couple of nights were OK as I had gone 2-3 days without masturbating many, many times before. But on the fourth day, I started feeling very antsy and instead of only thinking about masturbating at bedtime, I was thinking about it constantly. That is when I printed out the countdown chart. It really helped me focus on getting through the week and not giving in to the constant temptation. I made it through the week and learned to masturbate the usual way, but the last three days were really tough. I don't know how anyone could give up masturbating completely. (age 22)
I have read all the stories on this page and notice how many of them give up after 7-8 days. I have quit masturbating three times (once for four weeks, once for five weeks, once for seven weeks) and each time that one week mark was the hardest to get through. Once you have made it past about 8 or 9 days, it gets easier. (age 26)
OK, but why did you give up masturbating three times for 4-7 weeks? And why did you go back to masturbating? I'm thinking you encountered the same kind of feeling at four, five, seven weeks that other readers have described happening at the same number of days.
Follow-up: I was trying to bring on a wet dream, which I have never had. You're right, eventually I got obsessed with my penis and just had to do it. But I was able to go a lot longer than the average guy!
Did you learn anything from that? By my way of thinking, you missed out on more than 100 orgasms that you would have had in those weeks you were abstaining.
I tried to quit masturbating for 2-4 weeks. The first week was so easy. I was actually worried when I didn't get a boner from watching porn, but then it hit me. Second week, I was so horny and attracted to girls who I only thought were cute before, now they were perfection. I had wet deams every now and then and they were so amazing I was super-disappointed with my life when I woke up. After 15 days I decided to watch porn but not masturbate, what an idiot I was. Now I'm back to masturbating daily. (age 24)
I'm glad you learned your lesson.
I wanted to quit quite often when I was younger but now I realize it's one of the happiest things I do. Congratulations to you for having this site that celebrates masturbating! (age 37)
I disliked the idea of masturbating at first (although I enjoyed it greatly) but later came to like it because it's such a positive affirmation of my maleness. All males can celebrate the great joy they experience by erection and ejaculation! Thank you for this site. (age 48)
Thank you for reading!
I am a virgin. I love mathematics, physics and computers a lot -- I am an electronics engineer. I love HealthyStrokes.com and have read it at length. I masturbated first accidentally when I was 13 and I liked the sensation but I had made up my mind to quit it when I was 16. I stopped for months. I even learned to wake up when I felt a wet dream was about to happen and stopped that too. I don't plan to marry or feel for a girlfriend or a boyfriend. What I hate about the sexual urge is it's forcing me to think sexual thoughts. I also sleep less than usual and keep awake for 27-30 hours at a time. I am a caffeine addict too. You're the right person to tell me whether I am doing something wrong, whether there's a psychological issue with me. (age 23)
I am not a psychologist, so I can only give you my layperson's assessment. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Most men your age practice it daily and enjoy it greatly. Even electronics engineers. I have seen a sex survey that was done at a well-known engineering college. Electrical engineering students were near the median in terms of virginity. So electronics engineers are pretty typical in terms of wanting to find a sex partner. You might enjoy the book Mathematics and Sex by Clio Crisswell.
My name is Ryan and I'm 22. I came across your site and you really put things into perspective. I have been caught by my parents and siblings and even cousins more times than needed. In fact, I NEVER needed that to happen. (Ed.: That's what I was just thinking.) My parents both had negative ideas about masturbating. I even tried to stop and felt like a drug addict on withdrawal or something. I was angry and desperate and in a foul mood.
I began masturbating at 12. I was still a kid in my head and my friends brought Playboy with Sable and we saw her completely naked! It was very sexy but I felt that I was forcing it. I rather wanted to watch cartoons unlike everyone else who was getting horny. I was 12 and forced myself to cum but felt great. I just assumed that as a boy you HAD to do it. (Ed.: You have to do it eventually, but you certainly didn't have to do it that day, in a group.)
When I was 15, I kept masturbating out of control and getting caught. That year my mom went on vacation and I was alone with my dad. He cheated on my mom with a hot woman and I listened to them having sex. I grew incredibly hard and horny and felt an excitement that I had never felt before!
After my parents separated, I moved in with my dad and joined sports, played soccer and wrestling and got very good at it. I had three girlfriends at that time and had sex as well. I feel like I was a normal teen! I still masturbated regularly but noticed that I would get somewhat drained so I sort of stopped for weeks but found it nearly impossible.
Eventually I caught my dad masturbating in his car with a portable DVD player. I was kind of shocked because he had always been very negative about masturbation.
I read on your site about privacy and about the need to masturbate and what normal is. Is it wrong that even nowadays I think about that night that my dad brought the woman? Is it wrong that I masturbated thinking about them? Once my dad brought home a porn and we masturbated in the same room. Was that wrong as well? I get the feeling that things like that shouldn't happen. (Ed.: That's a sensible feeling.)
I got my first wet dream at 16, and I occasionally have raging wet dreams STILL! My masturbation gets out of control at times, and I was masturbating just recently in my room. I thought the door was locked, and I put on music, stripped naked, and started masturbating with lube, jacking it nice and slow. It felt so good but my dad opened the door and stared and ran out and laughed. I was actually embarrassed. He told me I'm too old to be masturbating at 22.
I did a test to see how long I could go without masturbating and I lasted two weeks. During the two weeks I worked out, ran laps, played soccer, and worked every day. And it felt great! I had more energy, felt so strong, felt in a great mood. But it ended at the two week mark I had a wet dream. I sprained my ankle so I can't run and I went on a jacking off binge. I don't know how to control it at times. Just this week I feel very low energy and not as strong. I want to be able to control it but I get very horny! I am sexually active too. How do I deal with this?
HealthyStrokes.com has been very helpful as far as being caught and how to deal with it with the parents, plus on how things work. I know that its necessary to release semen but even so I feel like I could be out of control. But my case is a bit off I think. My dad played a key part in my growing up. And I have to admit I get very horny reading your site and frequently end up masturbating. I hope that doesn't weird you out!
Ryan, I think the first thing I need to say is that your dad is toxic. He either has a lot of wrong ideas about sexuality or he has one set of rules for himself and another for you. It would be good if you lived on your own. When you're 22 and living with a parent, your parent should be more like a landlord than an overseer.
The important thing is to get all the aspects of your life to balance. That includes masturbating. You seem to have become sexually active without any problems and learned to balance that with masturbation most of the time. However, all sexually active males masturbate at least occasionally, so you shouldn't think that you won't ever masturbate. I have a feeling that when you try to stop masturbating, you're hearing your dad nagging at you. But remember, he masturbates too. He was trying to dissuade you, but he was still practicing it himself. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.
Masturbating also will not prevent you from excelling at sports or being physically fit. Men who are in shape and play sports masturbate about the same amount as men who don't. Masturbating is good exercise and does not "drain your energy" and leave you physically wanting.
I wouldn't call it wrong to fantasize about your dad and the woman he brought over, but that fantasy doesn't seem to be helping you at all. I would suggest finding some other things to fantasize about.
Instead of constantly trying to control your masturbating, accept it as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health, and that it will be something you will always do. Focus on enjoying your sexuality and balancing masturbation with intercourse and the other parts of your life. Do not listen to the voice that your dad put inside your head. He didn't even mean what he said.
I started masturbating when I was 12 and when I was 15 I wanted to quit. I don't remember why. I decided I was never going to masturbate again. My resolve weakened after only 2 1/2 days and I masturbated furiously. I have never tried to quit again. (age 19)
I lose my concentration and start feeling grumpy whenever I try to quit masturbation and give it up in 3 or 4 days and feel guilty. How I can quit masturbation? Do females also feel the same way? (age 25)
Yes, females also feel guilty about masturbation, but that doesn't mean they quit. Instead of quitting, you ought to accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. There is no reason to quit.